by Jaci Burton
Then there was eight-year-old Cheryl, whom they called Cherry. She and Nate took right to him. Cass never brought men home, hadn’t allowed herself a relationship where it even crossed her mind. Should she let the kids hope for anything? Just because she didn’t allow herself hope? Damn Lucas for making her think about it like that.
When he came back at last to sit beside her, the two of them watched the kids bike around the backyard, and he asked her easy questions about them. As she responded, he leaned back, his arm braced behind her on the concrete stoop, making her want to rest against it, but she resisted, not sure if she wanted the kids to see that.
As if he’d read her mind, he nudged her arm. “Lean back.” When she frowned, he tugged her hair. “You know my ride left, so you’ll have to put up with me.”
“You have a working thumb,” she retorted sweetly. “I’m sure an amorous, lonely housewife will pick you up. You could become her afternoon fantasy.”
“Sorry, already booked.” The kids had reached the end of the yard and were exploring something they’d found by the fence. Before she could anticipate him, he’d captured the back of her neck and drawn her to him, holding her fast for a sweet, teasing kiss. Because the kids were distracted, it wasn’t outrage that fueled her token attempt to push him away, which just resulted in her hands latching into the front of his grease-stained shirt as he deepened the kiss, made her stomach flutter and knees quiver.
When he raised his head, his eyes alone were enough to keep the fire leaping through her bloodstream. His hand was very appropriately on her waist, but the fingers hidden from view were curved over a buttock, stroking, making her crave him to go lower, palm her there.
“I’m going to be your fantasy tonight, Cassie. All afternoon. In a few minutes, some very accomplished childcare providers will be arriving to take your kids off for the evening. Matt, Savannah, and the guys are going to take them to the movies, followed by dinner at a playhouse and arcade, and then back to Matt’s place for a slumber party.”
Before she could get over her shock to protest, he continued, tightening on her waist. “While they’re safely being entertained, suitable to their ages, I am going to take you to your bedroom and entertain you in a manner suitable to your age. I’m going to make love to you through the night, so when there are circles under your eyes tomorrow, it will be for a better reason than working on late-night paperwork. When Matt and the team bring the kids back here, I’m going to make you sleep in and fix your kids breakfast.” His eyes held her in place. “I’ll bring you breakfast in bed.”
“I don’t know,” she said at last. She swallowed. “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m not sure that’s good, Lucas.”
Spearing his fingers into her hair, he pressed the heel of his palm to her jaw. “It is good. It wasn’t a no.”
“It wasn’t a yes.” When he grinned, she scowled. “Teach me to get involved with another negotiator. Glorified bean counter.”
She shook her head, pushed away from the stoop, crossing her arms under her breasts, feeling the impending evening chill. Marcie had taken the kids around to the front, and she wondered now if her sister had picked up the tone and done it with calculated intent. Having the chess pieces rearranged before she could even get a handle on the game was something she didn’t like, and she didn’t want him to think she’d accept being treated that way. “You know, you can’t call in a babysitter every time you think there’s something you’d rather be doing. That’s not the way this works. I haven’t had time to think this through. And tomorrow is a school day.”
“Hey.” As he rose, she backed up, not wanting him to touch her again. “I just wanted the first time between us to be special. Not hurried. You deserve that. And Marcie told me tomorrow is a teacher’s workday. I did check on that first.” He closed the distance between them in a quick step, caught her shoulders. “Cass, look at me.”
At the command, she raised her angry, uncertain gaze. “I am not your drunk dad,” he said. “If I’m falling for you, I’m falling for the whole package. I had a blast with the kids earlier.”
“They’re not always a blast.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe.” He gave her that little shake. “Give me some credit.”
“You’ve only known me a day. You can’t commit your whole life to this—”
“No, of course I can’t. Stop it.” He held her fast. “But I can say I’d like a chance. You can’t deny yourself love, the possibility that I could be part of this family, for fear that I can’t.”
“These kids can’t be jerked around anymore. I won’t allow it just because you—”
“If you go with the ‘just because you want to fuck me’ line, I will smack your ass,” he said, and the steel in his gaze told her he meant it. “If that’s all I wanted, I never would have come home with you. Cass, I have a sister. A divorced sister with two kids who had to live with me nearly two years when he cleaned her out of everything, the bastard. I understand the issue, and I love those kids like my own. I took over as the male role model in their life during those two years, and they still look to me that way.”
“They’re doomed,” she said after a long moment, struggling with it.
“Don’t I know it.” His touch eased. “You and I have moved fast, way fast. I know that. But look at me. Look at my eyes, everything you know of me, that you know of people. Use that intuition Steve pays you so much for. If we don’t work out, which I have a very good feeling is not going to be a problem, I will be as careful of the kids’ feelings as I would hope to be of yours. You don’t have to be so goddamned tough about everything.”
She wrenched away, crunching through ankle-deep dry leaves in the yard. “Don’t you get it, Lucas? It’s not about that. Most women aren’t tough. We’re tired, we’re lonely, we’re afraid of failing to live up to what’s expected of us. While we’re looking for the one person who will accept us for ourselves and love us anyway, we’re already too walled up to show him who that is. You can’t let down your shields. No one can.”
“You can with someone who loves you.”
“Yeah, and those people come with big neon signs on them that say, ‘You can trust me, I will love you through thick and thin, you can count on it.’ ” She backed away some more, wishing Marcie hadn’t taken the kids out of earshot, wishing Lucas hadn’t taken off her corset, because words were just bubbling out of her, no filter, no restraint. He was making her need to say them, standing before her, all the possibilities she wanted so much. “There are things I’ve said in my head I can never say to anyone. Sometimes I’m so tired I don’t want to get up ever again. Sometimes I need sex so badly I’ve brushed against a corner of the kitchen island and made myself come by accident, and had to cover it as a fit of coughing with the kids.” She laughed bitterly. “I got them on track, I pay the bills, I’ve earned my education and reputation, and somehow I feel like all I’ve done with my outstanding accomplishments is build myself a great big public cage. And when that becomes too much . . . Ah, Christ.”
She turned away, but couldn’t deny his comfort when he slid his arms around her waist, held her against him, speaking into her ear. “When that becomes too much, you go to a glade in the Berkshires and give yourself twenty minutes of sanity. Everyone feels that way sometimes. But from where I’m standing, you still have a pretty damn good life, you know? You’re fucking amazing, everything you’ve done. You’re just missing someone to share it with, sweetheart. Not just to help, but to share it. We tend to make situations that come with big emotions into something complex, but they’re usually not. Life sucks sometimes, and you need someone who can stand with you. Everyone needs that.”
Through a tear-streaked face, she looked up and found his gaze full of a miraculous tenderness. “I haven’t cried in forever, and here it is, twice with you in one day. That can’t be a good thing.”
“On the contrary, I think it’s a very positive sign. Hell, Cass.” Turning her, he put his forehead against hers
, molded his hands to her back, letting her feel the strength of his touch through his shirt. “I don’t know what love is, any more than the next person. But I know when I look at you, every part of me is hoping like hell this is it. So risk it, okay? You’ve risked so much to get where you are, you’re starting in a position of strength here.” Lifting his head, he quirked a brow. “After all, I am a major catch. And I’m completely gone over you.”
“And so modest.” She sniffled.
“Well, first rule of negotiation, sweetheart. Start with the strongest points. Don’t want to scare you off with my bug fetish or the bodies in my basement freezer.”
“Bug fetish?”
“Typical woman. Her eyes go all big over the bugs, rather than my side career as a serial killer.”
“How big? Are we talking spiders? Spiders are not bugs.”
Laughing, he pulled her to his mouth and silenced her in a way that forced bugs out of her head.
She pulled back. “The kids.”
“Gone.” At her stunned look, he had the grace to look sheepish. “I’d already talked to Marcie. She took them in front when I knew the limo would be there.”
“And you just assumed—”
“Yeah, I did.” He looked down at her. “You know they’ll be safe with us, right?”
“That’s not the point. I handle my life. Their lives—”
“No question, no argument. But tonight is just for you. You won’t give yourself that. I did. You and I both know you’re using them as a shield.”
When he closed his hands on her shoulders, bent his knees to force her to look into his face, she closed her eyes. “Lucas, I can’t. I get sucked in. For so long, I wanted something like what you appear to be, so much . . .”
You’re the Holy Grail floating over the yawning Abyss. With desperation, she thought it must be the Knights of the Boardroom reference making her think in King Arthur analogies. “Those kids can’t afford a leap of faith. I’m what they have, and in order to be there for them, I can’t risk any cracks. You’re a potential earthquake.”
“I think I’m flattered. But why am I an earthquake?” Somehow, while her eyes were closed, he’d backed her up against the stoop. As he posed the question in her ear, his arm circled her. Gently, so gently, with his other hand between them, he began to unbutton the shirt, tease her skin.
“Because I need you too much. Something like you. You’ll leave. You all leave. Your cocks and minds get bored.”
He paused. Cass realized she’d meant to say “want,” but they both knew a slip of the tongue like that was rarely a mistake. She couldn’t take it back, couldn’t cover it.
“Stop thinking. Just for five minutes, shut it off. Look at me.” His expression now was one that made something flutter in her lower belly. He nodded. “Very few men would know that the avenue to your heart is, in fact, through your body, Cass. Through your submission. So the irony of it is, by taking your body exactly where it needs to go, I’m going to convince you that my heart and soul are never going to be bored with you.”
She caught at the shirt as he slipped the last button. There were no close neighbors, but that wasn’t why she clutched it. He put his hands over hers, began to pry her fingers away.
“I can’t.” Her whisper was broken. “I can’t say no to you, but I can’t do this.”
“You’re not your parents, Cass. Either one of them. You’re you. And you can do it.” He coaxed one set of fingers to release, then the other. Holding her wrists in one hand, he spread the two sides of the shirt open, revealing the flat line of her stomach, the crescent shapes of her breasts. “Beautiful,” he murmured. “Mine. Stand still.”
Turning her, he took the coat off her shoulders and then the shirt, laid them on the stoop. The skirt came next, slowly sliding over her hips, followed by the panties and stockings, so she now stood naked before him while he was still fully clothed. When she shivered, he put the coat back over her bare shoulders.
“Should we go—”
“Not yet,” he said. Then he sank down before her, hands holding her hips as he studied the column of her throat, the shape of her breasts, the line of her rib cage and abdomen. Her hips, the roundness of her buttocks, the vee of her sex, a soft pelt of hair, smooth and trim. He studied that the longest, and aside from the self-consciousness, the slight sense of embarrassment, it aroused her almost to the point of pain, the way he examined her. Her hands clutched his shoulders, then slid forward, seeking the line of his jaw. Catching her fingers, he sucked on them hard, strong, before pulling free, staring up at her. “Mine,” he repeated. “Mine to protect. To cherish. To love. To grow old with, if we’re blessed.”
She shook her head. “Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t ruin it.”
His eyes darkened and he bent his head, his arm curving around her to hold her in place with a hand on one hip as he brought her into him.
Cass sucked in a breath, clutched him harder as his mouth found her and he spread her stance a little wider. She had to rely on him to hold her steady, because her ground had become unstable. Oh, God. That mouth. Before, she’d been anchored to a chair. On her back, a table, a wall. Now the lightness of the friction as he manipulated her, let her body buck and convulse naturally, made the feeling even more maddening, a dance against his mouth. The wind moved the fall leaves, bringing her the smell of seasonal change, of grass mowed recently, of the lake.
“You’re so wet for me, sweetheart,” he muttered against her flesh. “Give yourself to me. Let yourself be swept away by a man’s desire for you.”
His tongue parted her, teased her, teeth scraping the clit as her breath rasped in her throat, her fingers digging in, the nails scraping his flesh, if he’d let her get to it.
“Feel you,” she gasped. “I want to feel you.”
“In due time. I want you mindless first.”
He thought she could think now. Catching her fingers in his hair, she pulled hard as he kept up his artistry upon her slick lips, tasting her, penetrating her, sliding over every sensitive nerve, his tongue doing flexible things a snake would envy. She wanted him.
“Want to come, with you inside me. Now.”
“Not this first time,” he said, without mercy, and with a rake of his teeth he sent her free falling, both hands tearing at his shoulders, her bare body convulsing over him, nails digging into his T-shirt and the hard back muscle beneath as he held her hips fast, worked her against his mouth. His rough jaw rasped her thighs, his fucking of her with his mouth mixed with the wet sounds of pleasure as he lapped her, took her juices into him in a way that sent powerful after-shocks ripping through her. He held on to her throughout.
When she tried to straighten, her body felt weak. She wasn’t sure if her legs would hold, but he’d already anticipated that, rising to lift her off her feet. He was still fully clothed, even down to his shoes.
“Tell me where your bedroom is, Cassandra.”
Ten
It was a quiet, dim place, the sun almost gone for the day. Through the sheer panels at her windows, he saw the shapes of the trees in the yard, while in the room there was the outline of a high tester bed, piled with pillows. A dilapidated stuffed bear was there, probably left by one of the younger children, as well as a scattering of children’s books on the floor. Clothes she’d perhaps discarded this morning rested on the back of the chair. He could see the domestic scene, her trying to get ready for work, giving them all some attention before she left. There was a scattering of sticky notes on the desk and the computer screen, work waiting for her after everyone had gone to bed. A TV, some books piled up next to it. The clutter of a busy woman.
His heart too full to speak immediately, he laid her down on the mattress, that beautiful bare body that had him so primed for her it was difficult to walk.
But then, as she watched him, he collected the children’s books, the work papers. He put the papers on the desk, the toys outside in the hall, setting the bear on top before shutting the door.
>
“This is your room, Cass,” he said, turning to her. “Just the woman tonight. Do you have any wine?”
She nodded to a minifridge in the corner, the stand of glasses up on a shelf. “Like an evening glass of wine, do you?” he observed.
“Sometimes.”
“Me, too.” He went to it. As she began to shift, he half turned. “No. Stay there.”
“I feel uncomfortable, naked like this when you’re not.”
“This is the way I want you. Would it be easier if I tied your arms and legs, fed you the wine from my own lips? Blindfolded you, so all your senses are focused only on your body? What I do to it?”
She pressed her lips together. “I want to see you,” she whispered. “I want to touch you.”
Moving to her player, he turned on music. A smile curved his lips as Foreigner’s “Waiting for a Girl Like You” came on. “I’ll tie you another time, then,” he responded. “But right now, you’ll lie back on your pillows, high enough that your back is arched, your breasts tilted up. I want your legs spread so that I can see how wet your lips are. If I’ve a mind to feast on them again, they’ll be ready for me.”
He waited, his gray eyes holding hers in the soft light, the long slope of his jawline made dark and sensuous in the shadows. He hadn’t said “pretend” this time. Hadn’t given her that out. From the look on his face, she knew he’d meant what he said. No more games. No more denying what she desired, the dark way she desired it. She found herself sliding up the pillows and leaning back so she was in the position he’d ordered, her breasts in such wanton display she almost blushed. For all her experience in business, her knowledge of what went on in the bedroom, her couplings had been perfunctory, an exercise in mutual needs being satisfied. She’d never had a forceful or demanding lover, let alone a Dominant who could make her want to please him like this, to raise the potential threshold for herself. Seeing the look in Lucas’s eyes, just a little dangerous, telling her he might not brook a refusal, brought a delicious thrill. It also made her a little embarrassed to open her legs, but when she did it, the fierce desire leaping in his eyes was reward for her bravery.