I’m acutely aware that Kody isn’t here to act as an adorable cockblocker—that we’re very, very much alone—and all the tension that’s been driving me crazy seems to funnel right down into my pants.
Lainey pushes her hips into mine and moans softly. Her fingers slide into my hair and latch on, and her tongue sweeps out to tangle with mine. Two or three velvety swirls quickly devolve into no-holds-barred making out. Like we’re teenagers who dropped Ecstasy and can’t get enough of each other.
Lainey pulls at my shirt, freeing it from my dress pants, and her hands slide up and under, roaming over my back. Then she tugs at my belt buckle, freeing the clasp.
I break the kiss, and she freezes, fingers dipping into the waistband of my pants, close to my insanely hard erection. We stare at each other for a few seconds, panting.
“Bedroom?” I ask.
“Floor, couch, kitchen counter. I don’t really care.”
I pick her up and wrap her legs around my waist, and we resume kissing. I’d like to say there’s some finesse once we get to the bedroom, but that would be a lie. I drop her on the edge of the mattress and follow behind her as she scoots back.
Lainey’s skirt bunches up, exposing the satin-and-lace panties underneath. Ones I’d like to take off with my teeth. Which then becomes part of my master plan, if I can get us to slow down from Mach 4 million to somewhere along the lines of Mach 2 or 3.
Lainey fumbles with the button on my pants while I loosen my tie and yank it gracelessly over my head. I unfasten the first few buttons on my shirt, and she drags the zipper down, the metallic vibrations making my cock twitch.
There’s zero teasing involved as Lainey reaches into my boxer briefs, wraps her gorgeous, soft hand around the shaft, and sets me free. She’s not even finished the first stroke before she leans in and wraps her lips around the head, sucking gently.
I groan several filthy expletives, which makes her both blush and smile around my cock. And then she takes me deeper, stroking with her hand and her mouth. She pops off for a second—likely to pull the freaking move that always makes my balls feel like they’re going to explode. The one I haven’t experienced in more than a year but remember so vividly it’s often the image-sensation combo I pull up when I’m in self-gratification mode—so I take the opportunity to pull her dress over her head.
And then she’s back to sucking me off.
I fumble with the clasp of her bra, highly distracted but very intent on getting her as naked as I am. It slides down her arms and drops to the bed between us. “God, I missed everything about you.”
She pops off long enough to say, “Same,” and then she’s right back at it.
Once her boobs are free, my stamina takes a terrible nosedive—and I issue a warning that I’m about to come. And as soon as I do, it’s like I’ve finally jumped off the sex speed train, able to focus again.
“Thank you. That was amazing.” I lay her out on the bed, taking my time now that 90 percent of my blood flow is no longer pooled below my waist. I cup her boobs, so full and lush, and pepper them with kisses.
“Just don’t squeeze too hard unless you want a shot in the face,” Lainey says, somewhat breathlessly.
I laugh into her cleavage. “Can I kiss and lick?”
“Yes—everything is supersensitive, though, so just be careful.”
I devote attention to her breasts, 100 percent enthralled with them and the fact that most of the time I’m not really allowed anywhere near them. Lainey writhes under me, legs wrapped around my waist, fingers in my hair.
Eventually I go lower, kissing my way over her stomach. And just like I planned, I tug her panties down with my teeth and kiss her until she comes.
She reaches over to the nightstand and opens the top drawer, rustling around until she produces a box of condoms. A spike of jealousy hits me.
Lainey puts her hand on my cheek and forces my gaze back to hers. “I bought them after you started coming over here every night. I wanted to be prepared, just in case all my restraint evaporated and something like this happened.”
Relief that I don’t deserve hits me, and I settle between her thighs and roll my hips. “I missed you. I missed us.”
“Me too.”
I open the box and tear a condom free. Lainey plucks it from my fingers and pushes on my chest. She rolls it on, and instead of pulling me over her, she settles in my lap, slowly taking me inside.
And when we’re together like this, connected in the most intimate way we can be, it’s like we’ve never been apart, like the year that separated us has been erased. We find a slow rhythm that allows us to kiss and touch and breathe each other in. Lainey comes first, and I get to watch her tumble over into bliss. I missed this with her—I missed everything in her absence, but this feeling, like my world has been tipped back into alignment, tells me what I knew then but failed to acknowledge: that she was and always will be my balance.
I don’t look away from her as my own orgasm hits, and afterward we stay wrapped in each other, kissing, hands roaming, relearning each other through touch.
I cup her face in my hand and meet her stunning chocolate gaze. “I love you, Lainey.”
She smiles softly. “I love you too.”
“I wanted to tell you that when we were in Alaska, but I ran out of time,” I admit.
“Well, you can tell me as much as you want now, can’t you?”
By the time we leave her bed we’re cutting it close for dinner—not that it matters, since they’ll hold my table regardless. Lainey checks her reflection in the hall mirror while we wait for the elevator. “Oh my God, did you leave a mark on my neck?” She tips her head to the side and inspects the right side of her throat.
I wrap an arm around her waist and press my chest against her back. “I don’t see anything, but if you want a mark I’m more than happy to put one there.”
I nuzzle into her neck and nibble on the spot just as the elevator doors slide open. Lainey elbows me in the side, and I take a step back—which is when I notice Walter standing in the elevator.
Lainey covers the side of her neck like she’s hiding something. “Walter! Hi!”
This should be fun.
“Lainey.” He gives me a curt nod as he reaches out for something beside him. Which turns out to be a someone in the form of a petite brunette. He pulls her into his side and awkwardly throws his arm over her shoulder. “This is my cou—date, Ursula.”
His “date” Ursula’s eyes widen, and she looks up at him, maybe a little confused. He squeezes her shoulder, and she grimaces. “We went out for dinner, and now we’re going to watch Jeopardy!” He turns his head to look at her. “Isn’t that right, Ursula?”
“Uh, yes?” Her eyes bounce back and forth between me and Lainey, and then her brows raise. “Oh my God, is this your neighbor? The one that lives across the hall?”
“We have to go! Jeopardy! is starting, and we don’t want to miss the first round! It was nice to see you again, Lainey.” He shoots dagger eyes at me as he drags Ursula out of the elevator. “RJ.”
“Bye, Walter—it was nice to meet you, Ursula.” Lainey gives me raised eyebrows.
We step into the elevator, and the doors start to close, but not before we hear Ursula ask, “Isn’t that Rook Bowman? The hockey player? Oh my God! I would have gotten his autograph! And is that the Lainey woman you were dating? God, she’s really pretty—no wonder you’re such a mess. Good thing you didn’t tell your mom about her, right?”
The doors slide closed, and I hit the button for the lobby, waiting until we’re moving before I speak. “Sooo . . .”
Lainey cringes. “Well, that was super awkward.”
“I think more for Ursula than anyone else. I’m guessing, based on the family resemblance, she’s not really his girlfriend.” I tap my nose to signal what I mean, then wrap my arms around Lainey’s waist and pull her against me. “Did you two watch Jeopardy! together?”
“Why? Does it make you jealous?”
I shrug.
Truthfully, maybe a little, but mostly because I know that show is on when Lainey gives Kody his before-bed booby snacks. “Smart is sexy, Lainey—even Walter knows that.”
“Do you know what I think is sexy?”
“What’s that?”
“You. Especially when you’re showing me how much you love our son.”
I dip down and kiss her until the elevator dings.
We end up being late for our dinner reservations, but Lainey is the best appetizer—and later, when we get home, we steal quietly up to my bedroom so I can make her dessert too.
CHAPTER 26
ANXIOUS NEW BEGINNINGS
Lainey
My parents’ visit is both a good and a bad thing. Good in that they see exactly how hard RJ is trying and how sincere he is in wanting to prove that he’s really in this with me. But the bad comes with my parents leaving, because as much as they drive me crazy with their overprotectiveness, I miss them.
I don’t miss living under their roof or having them fuss over me like I’m a helpless infant, but I miss having them close. There really isn’t an easy solution either. Not when RJ plays for Chicago. He’ll be on the road a lot very soon, but this is still his home base.
My dad might have asked, more than once, what I plan to do when my contract expires with the aquarium. It’s only supposed to be a temporary research position, and in all honesty, I should be able to complete the research in the allotted time. Even if I take reduced hours like RJ has suggested and manage to negotiate a slightly longer contract, once it’s complete, I’ll need to start looking for a new job. Unless they happen to need more research on aquatic animals’ mating habits that specifically relate to dolphins and whales. Which is unlikely.
Finding a new job shouldn’t be difficult in a city like Chicago, especially with three master’s degrees. But I don’t interview all that well, since I get so nervous, and I can’t be guaranteed that any other place of employment is going to be quite as accommodating as they continue to be at the aquarium. For the time being, I try not to worry too much about the things I can’t control. Instead, I focus on research when I’m at work, loving Kody when I’m not, and falling in love all over again with RJ whenever we’re together—which, for the time being, is often.
In the week since my parents went home, I’ve slept at RJ’s house three times. In his bed, with him. We’ve had sex all three of those times.
We’re currently cuddled up in his bed, Kody’s asleep in the room next door, and RJ is reading hockey-related articles while I brush up on dolphin seduction techniques. Like humans, a male dolphin will present the female with a gift—but substitute a sea sponge for flowers or chocolate—in order to gain her sexual favor.
So far, when RJ tries to explain hockey to me, I feel very much like I’m being taught a foreign language. I’ve never really understood sports, so it’s all a little over my head.
“How far are your parents from Seattle?”
I look up from the article I’m reading. “About two and a half hours, depending on weather conditions. Why?”
“Just wondering.” He sets down his phone and props himself up on an elbow. “I think we need to talk about the start of the season.”
“You mean the hockey season?”
RJ nods. “Yeah. Exhibition games start soon. I’d really like you to bring Kody to a practice game. A lot of the other wives and girlfriends come, and they’ll bring their kids.”
“Will there be a lot of people there?” My fingers are already at my lips. I’ve come a long way in the past year, learned how to cope with the anxiousness that results from being in places with a significant crowd.
But an arena crammed with thousands of people is not the same as the aquarium, or a full bus, or even the inside of a shopping mall—the latter of which I generally avoid if at all possible. Actually, I’d still rather avoid two out of the three most days.
“Practices are pretty chill, which is why I want you to come. I know the idea of the arena freaks you out, but it won’t be crazy like it is during the regular season. Even exhibition games aren’t as heavily attended. I just . . . I want you to see what it’s like, so you can get used to it. And I promise it’ll be fun.” He looks so nervous and hopeful.
We can’t just live in the tiny bubble of his house and my apartment, with the occasional dinner out or gathering with friends and a grocery shopping trip thrown in here and there. Most of our relationship has been built in a cosmos of domestic compatibility.
Hockey is his passion, his job, and the thing that drives him. It’s a huge part of his life, and while I’ve watched games with him on TV and seen footage of him playing, it’s not the same as seeing him on the ice in real life. I love the man I met in Alaska and the father of my son, but I want to be able to love all of him, even the parts that scare me—and that includes the NHL star that women drool over.
In order to do that, I need to learn how to handle the other very significant part of his life. And I’m not going to do that by limiting our lives together to the inside of a house. “I think it would be a great idea for Kody and me to come to a practice.”
“Yeah?” RJ’s smile is radiant.
I return his grin, although I’m sure mine is nervous instead of breathtaking, and nod. I had a great time with the girls when they came over while my parents were visiting.
RJ lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I can talk to Lance and Miller—you seemed to really get along with their wives when they were over.”
“You mean Poppy and Sunny? They’re sweet, and you don’t need to talk to Lance and Miller. I can just message the girls—we’re already in a group chat. We can organize something. They’ve already been asking when I’m coming to a practice, so they’ll be happy when I tell them the next one.”
“That’s perfect.” He tugs on my waist, pulling me closer. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
I sit up a little straighter, and so does he. “What’s that?”
He shifts around, patting his thighs. “Come here.”
I give him a look. “We had sex two hours ago.”
“It’s not about sex. I just want you close to me.”
I’m not sure if I believe him or not, but I move to straddle his lap. He smooths his hands up the outside of my thighs and licks his lips. It’s not sexual, though; it’s all about nerves.
“What’s going on?”
“So, I know everything is pretty new, and there’s been a lot of change in a short time—maybe more for me than you—but I don’t know . . . it’s just . . . I’ll be on the road a lot soon, which means I won’t have as much time with you and Kody.”
“We’ll all adjust to the schedule.”
He nods. “I know. So I was thinking . . . I looked into hiring a part-time nanny, someone who could take care of Kody when you’re at work and I’m playing away games.”
“I already have day care, and Kody does well there.”
“Yeah, I know.” RJ’s chewing on the inside of his lip. “Kristen is fantastic with him.”
“She really is.” As much as I don’t like being away from him, I do love that there’s someone I feel comfortable with taking care of him.
“Which is why I offered to pay her double what they do if she’s willing to take care of just Kody.”
“You what?”
RJ holds up his hands. “Hear me out—those women don’t get paid enough for what they do, and Kristen is great with Kody.”
“But I like that he has interaction with other kids. That part is really important, RJ. I spent most of my time with my siblings, apart from the homeschool community events. I want Kody to have a full social life with lots of friends. I don’t want him to struggle like I did, like I still do sometimes. A lot of the time,” I amend.
“I totally agree, although I think you’re better than you realize with people. But I also figured you would say that. Miller and Lance both live in this neighborhood. Their nannies can coordinate playdates with
Kristen and Kody. He’ll have lots of friends.”
“But I’ll have to get him here every day before I go to work. How efficient is that?” I’ve been spending a lot more time at his place, but we haven’t really had the relationship talk. Our entire situation is unconventional, and nothing really seems to fit into a neat box where we’re concerned.
“Well, that’s the other thing I wanted to bring up.” He keeps running his hands over my thighs. “What if you moved in? Then it would be easier all the way around, right? Especially if you’ll be able to work from home sometimes and the aquarium is being flexible about your hours.”
“You want us to move in with you?” Now it’s my turn to be nervous. The only people I’ve ever lived with, aside from when RJ and I were in Alaska, are my family.
“It’s a big step, but it makes the most sense, don’t you think? I’m already going to miss you and Kody when I’m on the road, and when I’m home I want to be with you. I was kind of hoping you wanted the same.”
Moving in with him means that slice of complete independence is gone, but at the same time, he makes a good point. We can’t be partners, not the way I think we both want, if I’m living under a different roof. He wants to be part of our lives, and I want the same. And that’s what love is—learning how to lean on someone else, doing it together.
“It’ll be just like Alaska, except you already have friends here, and once you come to practice you’ll get to know the girls better. You don’t have to decide right now. I just want to make it easier for us to spend time together, as a family and as a couple. Think about it, okay?”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“Good.” His hands settle on my waist. “Now bring those lips here—I need a hit of your love before bed.”
I lean in for a kiss that turns into sweet, slow lovemaking. It’s as much a distraction from all the things RJ is asking as it is a way to show me that he loves me and needs me just as much as I’m starting to accept that I need him.
Three days later, Kody and I accompany RJ to practice. I changed my outfit an unreasonable number of times, until RJ finally told me jeans and a team shirt with his name emblazoned on the back are perfect. He’s right: the arena isn’t crowded with people like I’ve seen when I watch game reruns with him. Instead there’s a smattering of observers spread out in the seats. RJ shows me around and introduces me to the players I haven’t met before, which makes me nervous since it means I have a whole bunch of new names to remember. Typically I have a great memory, but when I’m nervous it can be a challenge.
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