‘I just can’t see Nicholas doing something like this to us,’ she said with a shake of her head.
‘Look Emily, I hate to say this to you, but it could be that we were both wrong about him. He’s an awfully charming man. Intelligent, good-looking, and he has this incredible ability to get along with everyone. But…there’s also a ruthlessness in him. One I wasn’t prepared to see before. We seemed to hit it off so well that I put out of my mind the knowledge that he’s taken over two businesses in Ballarat already, and had numerous people retrenched! He’s not a forgiving man, I don’t think, and he’s not going to forgive me for this.’
‘Forgive you? Good grief, Mark, why should he have to? It’s none of his business what happened with Trefoil. But still, there is so much more to him than the cold, determined businessman. He can be so kind, so considerate. When I saw how he was with Monique I realised what a unique man he really is. Perhaps I can speak to him for you?’ she suggested, but the look on Mark’s face made her heart sink.
‘No, Em. I doubt it would make a difference. I spoke to him on the phone this morning, and his mind seems made up.’
‘But can’t we try again to get him to reconsider? Or is there someone else who would be willing to help you out? This company has such a good track record!’
‘I know, but in these tough economic times that counts for very little. A company can be experiencing a boom one day and go bust the next.’
‘What are your alternatives?’
‘I don’t know. If I don’t accept the takeover, I’ll end up having to claim bankruptcy myself, and the effects of that would be devastating for my entire family, and for the people who work for me. If I let Nicholas Cavanaugh take us over, then I can at least fight for my people to keep their jobs, and may even be able to keep a job myself.’
‘But you’ll lose your company, and everything you’ve worked so hard to build over the years!’
‘Yes, I will.’
‘But that’s not fair, Mark! Just because Trefold messed up doesn’t mean you should lose everything!’ Mark shook his head.
‘No, in an ideal world it wouldn’t. In an ideal world we’d all be given a fair go. I made a mistake, Emily. I did work for a company who were probably already on the rocks. I was too soft, too trusting. I’ve done work for them before, and believed I was on good terms with Phillip Rice, the Managing Director. Heck, I’ve often played golf with him on the weekends. I didn’t bother doing my usual thorough checks because I trusted him. So the mistakes I’ve made were mine alone, and now I’ve got myself into this mess.’
‘Oh Mark. It’s not right that you should suffer because of your integrity and faith in other people. And it’s definitely not right that Nicholas should take advantage of that! Obviously he’s not the man I thought he was, and I’m going to give him a good piece of my mind!’
‘Do me one favour, Emily.’
‘What’s that?’
‘At least wait until your exams are over. Now, get back to work. I’ve got a month before he takes this any further. Or until my creditors start breaking down the door. If I can get some good business before then…well…my chance of getting out of this will rise from no chance to a minutely small chance, and that’s better than nothing.’
But nothing would make Emily forget what Mark had told her. Nicholas Cavanaugh was more than a conundrum. He was the most perplexing, infuriating man she’d ever met, and she doubted that if she knew him for a thousand years she’d ever truly understand him. How could he show so much compassion towards a woman who’d ultimately broken his heart, and yet be so cold towards a good, hard-working man like Mark? There was no answer for it, and it broke her heart. She could never be with a man who’d put business before everything else.
Emily began putting in even more time in the office despite her hectic university schedule, and as a result was getting to bed later and later each night, and in turn, becoming more and more stressed herself. She went out of her way to avoid Nicholas. The last person on earth she wanted to see was him! To think that she’d trusted him…that she’d even – it was so hard to admit it to herself now – fallen in love with him. What she felt for him wasn’t mere lust or attraction. She’d seen so much more in him than she’d ever have imagined, and her heart had been well and truly taken. But what could she think now? Had she made a mistake in her judgement? She felt like a naïve schoolgirl again, who had imagined herself in love with boys she’d never really even known, merely because of a superficial attraction to them. Perhaps she’d seen what she wanted to see in Nicholas, and interpreted him according to her own notions of the world. Maybe he really was the cold, arrogant businessman she’d first imagined him to be.
Mark became increasingly stressed at work, making it difficult for everyone else who worked for him. Emily especially was susceptible to Mark’s changes in temper, and felt as though she were walking along a tight rope, afraid to say or do anything out of line. She’d already been around to hear Mark lose his temper at a number of his employees, which was totally out of character for him. It may not have been his fault, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with. For Mark, it was his entire life which was at stake, and any mistakes or oversights on the part of his employees could jeopardise his chances of getting out of his financial difficulties.
Mark had meeting after meeting with potential backers and clients, mostly to no avail. He had managed to pick up a number of small jobs, which would help pay off a small portion of his debts, but it wasn’t enough, because for each job he did, he had to pay for materials bought from other companies, so his margins weren’t high enough to repay all his old costs. She knew he’d even sacrificed his paycheque for the last few weeks in order to be able to continue to pay his employees, and keep as much money as possible in the business, but Emily knew how hard this must be making it for his family at home, and the last thing Lisa needed was financial stress.
She was so fixated on Mark’s problem while buying lunch in the university cafeteria one day, that she didn’t even realise Nicholas had stopped behind her.
‘Emily! Hi!’ His voice was warm and friendly in tone, but it froze her heart. She spun around to face him.
‘You’ve got a lot of nerve!’ she sputtered angrily.
‘Emily?’
‘I don’t wish to speak to you, Nicholas Cavanaugh. And don’t play innocent with me. You know exactly what I’m talking about.’ With that, she paid for her food and walked to a table on the far side of the room.
‘Wait!’ he called. She seethed inside. How dare he act as if he’d done nothing wrong! How dare he! She’d become good friends with Mark and Lisa over the past six years, and some foolhardy attraction to a completely unsuitable man was not going to make her forget that. She sat down, determined to ignore him, but knowing at the same time how impossible that would be. He walked across the room towards her, determination on his face, and she frowned at her lunch. The observation of other students in the cafeteria had not escaped her attention, and she wondered why on earth Nicholas was jeopardising his reputation in this way. Surely there would be whispers among a number of first year university students about the behaviour of a certain Mr Nicholas Cavanaugh and one of his students. Not that she’d helped, of course, by reacting to him as strongly as she had.
Upon reaching the table he sat down, shooting daggers at her with his eyes. ‘I don’t appreciate being made a fool of!’ he snapped. She snorted in derision, knowing he was half-right, but feeling vindicated in her anger nonetheless.
‘If you look a fool, Nicholas, then it’s your own doing, not mine!’ She would not be cowed by his domineering personality. Nostrils flaring, Nicholas glared at her. She smiled slightly, just enough to keep him off kilter.
‘Would you please care to tell me what is going on?’ he asked, his voice carefully controlled and modulated.
‘I have two words for you: Overington Industries. Or had you forgotten?’ Nicholas’s face fell, and he shook his head once to either side
.
‘That’s nothing to do with you, Emily, and you damn well know it!’
‘Oh isn’t it? Have you forgotten that I’ve been an employee of Overington Industries for six years? Were you not aware that in those years I’ve become close to Mark and Lisa? I’ve never told you this, Nicholas, but I look up to Mark as a father. I never had one of my own, not one that could be counted on at any rate, and he’s always been there for me. Always! Who do you think encouraged me to enrol in university? Who convinced me that despite all the difficulties it would entail, it would be worthwhile? It was Mark, Nicholas.’ Nicholas sighed sadly.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you would take my decision so personally.’
‘I trusted you, Nicholas! I believed in you!’ She shook her head in anger. ‘I’d made up my mind that you were different than my initial impression of you would have had it. But that impression was right, and every thought I’ve had since has been false.’
‘Emily, I won’t reverse my decision on this. No impassioned plea on your part will change my mind. I am right. However much you might want to see me as a villain, I’m not. Just think about that and you’ll realise the truth. Goodbye, Emily.’ His parting words were so final they cut her to the quick. She hadn’t imagined it ending like this. She shook her head in self derision as she watched him walk away. Had she honestly believed that Nicholas’s feelings for her would change his mind? Had she really believed that her harsh approach would win him over? What a fool she’d been!
The rest of the week passed in a depressing blur. She threw herself into her studies with a vengeance, hoping that her focus would rid her of her internal demons. The ones who shouted at her for a fool ten times over. But it wasn’t until Friday that she realised something else was wrong. Something she never could have imagined, but which shouldn’t have been so completely unexpected that it left her stunned.
Her period was late. Very late. She’d been as regular as clockwork for as long as she could remember, and three weeks had passed – three weeks! – and she hadn’t even noticed. How could she have been so blind? How could she have been such an idiot! At first she’d been so careful to insist he used protection. But one time…just one time…in his office, they had not. And it hadn’t even entered her mind! Not then, and not once since then had she even considered the risk she’d taken. She was not some naïve little schoolgirl who didn’t understand the birds and the bees! She was an intelligent, responsible, mature twenty-four year old woman, who had just made one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
If she’d thought her situation was bad before, this was a thousand times worse. She drove to the pharmacy in a daze – choosing one where she wasn’t a regular patron, so they wouldn’t recognise her – and bought a home pregnancy kit.
When she arrived home, Veronica immediately cornered her, demanding to know where she’d been, and why she’d rushed off so suddenly. Emily, flustered, stammered out something about having to visit a friend, but knew as she said the words how foolish they sounded. But she couldn’t tell her sister the truth! How could she explain her potential pregnancy to either of her siblings? She would seem like the worst kind of hypocrite. Which, she had to admit to herself, was unfortunately true.
‘What’s really going on, Emily?’ Veronica asked, her small face frowning in concern.
‘Nothing to worry you, poppet,’ she said softly, stroking her sister on the head. ‘It was just Mark. He…he needed to discuss work.’
‘I thought you said you were visiting a friend?’ Immediately suspicious, Veronica missed nothing. Sometimes she seemed older and more mature than her twelve years.
‘Mark is a friend,’ she said lightly. ‘You know he’s been having troubles with his business.’ She left it at that. ‘It’s getting late. Are you ready for bed?’
‘It’s Friday night, Em. And it’s only eight o’clock.’
‘So it is,’ she said, and sighed. ‘Well, I might turn in early. I’ve had a long, difficult week.’
That was true, she thought as she sat on the toilet seat in her en suite bathroom, pondering the step she was about to take. There was really no doubt in her mind that she was pregnant. She had to be. She was never three weeks late for her period. Never. But somehow doing the test would confirm it irrevocably, and she was almost paralysed by not wanting it confirmed, by wanting to go about her daily business for awhile longer without having to face this. But face it she did.
She followed the test instructions to the letter, and within five minutes knew the horrible truth. She looked at the two pink lines on the indicator stick in a vague, disbelieving daze, before clicking back into reality. Trembling, she staggered into the bedroom, falling down on to the bed in a pathetic, worried heap. Why…Why…WHY had this happened to her? Was she really such a bad person? She’d been a fool. A pathetic, stupid little fool, but this? Now?
All her life Emily had been the sensible one. She’d studied hard at school, determined to make something of herself. And then BANG in the middle of her final year of high school her mother was diagnosed with leukaemia, and her world was thrown into turmoil. All her future plans had been put on hold as she took on responsibility for her much younger brother and sister. She’d worked hard, damn hard. She hadn’t partied her nights away like her friends. She hadn’t had careless one night stands with men she didn’t know. She hadn’t become so drunk she passed out…or threw up in the gutter. She’d worked. She’d been sensible.
Now, at the apparently mature age of twenty-four, she’d gone against every sensible, logical bone in her body, and had made love to an extremely virile man without any form of contraception. It was inexcusable! And she was paying the price. Dear God, was she paying the price!
During the night she tossed and turned, unable to sleep for more than brief periods at a time. While awake, her mind went over the possibilities open to her, but there were few. She didn’t believe in abortion except in extreme circumstances, and she knew without a doubt that however much she was not ready for a baby, she could never put her child up for adoption. So her choices now were this: she could tell Nicholas, or she could not tell Nicholas. She debated between the two, going over the pros and cons of each in her mind until she felt dizzy, but it was only on Saturday morning that she came to her resolution.
She would tell him.
He may not have been the man she’d imagined him to be, but he deserved to know the truth. She’d lied to herself, but she wouldn’t lie to him. That would only add to the guilt she felt about the situation she’d found herself in.
But how could she tell him? After their discussion on Monday he hadn’t wanted to know her, and she couldn’t blame him a bit. She had to admit that there was something to what he’d said about taking over Mark’s business. It made perfect, logical sense. Mark would avoid bankruptcy, most of his employees would keep their jobs, and Nicholas would find some way to profit from it. She grimaced. That was what it really came down to, wasn’t it? Profit.
Her eyes filled with tears as she considered her future. What would become of her now? And more importantly, what would become of her child? She’d never be able to finish her university education, at least not as soon as she’d hoped, and although she’d always derived a certain amount of satisfaction in her secretarial work, she knew she wouldn’t feel that way about it forever, but what choice did she have? As a single mother her child would have to come first, and she’d have to find some way of supporting him or her. She smiled sadly as she placed a hand on her tummy, trying to imagine the small life growing in her womb.
‘I will look after you, I promise,’ she whispered as the tears spilled down her cheeks.
The sound of the television permeated through her bedroom walls and she wiped her eyes quickly, walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She couldn’t tell her brother and sister yet. She just couldn’t. Besides, the first person who had a right to know was the baby’s father, and although she loathed the thought of talking to him, she would.
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Emily drove along unfamiliar streets to Wendy’s house, where Nicholas was currently living. She finally saw his car parked in the driveway of a nice, but nondescript home. She sucked in a deep breath as the butterflies in her stomach went out of control. She considered turning back, but forced herself to pull up. She would not back out now. She had been a coward in the past, but the time for that was gone. She had a new responsibility now, and so did Nicholas.
She pressed the white doorbell, hoping against hope that nobody would be home, but knowing she wouldn’t be that lucky. She couldn’t avoid the inevitable. The beautiful redhead Wendy answered the door.
‘Hello,’ she said quizzically. ‘You must be Emily.’
‘Yes, I am. You’re Wendy,’ she replied inadequately.
‘Come in. Nicholas is in the shower. I assume you came to see him.’
‘Yes.’
‘Sit down. Make yourself at home. Can I get you a drink? Tea or Coffee?’ Emily nodded absently and answered in the affirmative.
‘Coffee. Please.’ Her mother had told her never to refuse someone’s hospitality when they offered a drink. And although the last thing she wanted to do now was relax with a cup of coffee, she needed to hang on to some of her life’s past sanity.
‘Emily?’ The tone of Nicholas’s voice when he saw her was one of pure concern, and all her efforts to relax failed as she burst into pitiful tears. He rushed to her side and wrapped his arms around her lovingly, only serving to make her cry harder. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’ he pleaded desperately. ‘Did something happen? Are your brother and sister OK?’ She sniffed loudly and nodded.
‘They’re…they’re fine. But, oh, Nicholas. I’ve been so stupid!’
‘Why Emily? What did you do?’ Emily saw Wendy standing in the doorway, and seeing Emily’s face, Nicholas shooed his cousin away.
‘It’s what I didn’t do Nicholas. In your office. I…I never even thought!”
‘What?’ His face was etched with desperation, and she bit her lip in anguish.
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