Tara laid her hand on his arm. “You blame yourself.”
He jerked away. “Of course I blame myself. Haven’t you been listening? I am to blame. I loved her and I let her go.” All of the feelings he’d been burying over the years surfaced, and he couldn’t speak anymore. Guilt and remorse suffocated him.
“She should’ve supported you in your career choice.”
“Like you did with Bobby? Yeah, that sure worked out.” He fired the words off like bullets, and regretted it the moment they were out. More guilt surged in him, making it hard to swallow.
He heard the sheets rustle, then silence came, until a soft sob stabbed through his heart. She was crying. And it was his fault. He maneuvered over to her side of the bed and threaded his arm around her stomach, pulling her to his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t cry.”
She stayed silent and he buried his face into her bare shoulder. “I’m such a jerk.”
She wiped at her eyes and took in a steadying breath. “You lashed out at me because you feel guilty for what happened with Scarlett.”
Her words sliced through him, and he realized she was right. “Guilty. Yes.” He forced himself to continue. “I hate myself for what I did,” he whispered, his gut clenching. He blinked back the emotion.
She rolled over to face him and placed a hand on his cheek. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I’m a terrible person.”
“No.” Tara’s thumb caressed his cheek. “You love acting. I’ve seen it on your face. She didn’t truly know you if she thought you’d ever be happy stuck at an office job.”
He let her words sink in. She was right yet again. He lived for the thrill of nailing a scene. He loved it when he got so into character that he had a hard time separating himself. It exhilarated him. “How do you do that?”
“What?”
“How do you see me like that?”
She smiled, her eyes glistening. “Like I said. I’ve gotten to know you.”
His gaze landed on her lips. The desire to kiss her hit him in his chest. He pushed the thought from his head. It wouldn’t be a good idea to start something like that. Instead, he took her hand in his. “You’re a beautiful person.”
“You may not realize it yet, but so are you.” She kissed the tip of his nose and then rolled away from him. It took all his willpower to move to his side of the bed. He lay on his back and listened to her even breathing until he fell asleep.
Chapter 18
T
ara woke, not really sure where she was until she spied the empty side of the bed where Rick had slept. She was in Lana’i. On her honeymoon.
Her heart squeezed in her chest as she thought about Rick and what he’d told her. He had let the love of his young life go because their goals weren’t the same. She didn’t support his career choice. And he’d been beating himself up over it for the last decade.
But what he didn’t realize was if she couldn’t support him in his choice to be an actor, there would have been many other areas of conflict for them. She wanted to change him, and that never works in a relationship. He blamed himself, but as painful as it was to break up with Scarlett, he would have been miserable staying with her.
Tara slipped out of bed and dressed. A wonderful smell filled the room as she pulled her hair back in a ponytail. Was Rick cooking? She left the bedroom and found him standing at the kitchen stove.
“Hi,” she said, suddenly feeling shy around him, but not really understanding why.
He turned to her. “Good morning. No one else was up, so I decided to make breakfast.” He motioned to a plate. “Want to butter the toast for me?”
“Sure.” She opened the fridge and pulled out the butter. “Did you sleep okay?”
He nodded. “You?”
“Fine.” She wasn’t going to mention how she dreamed of them dancing, then standing at the alter repeating their wedding vows. In her dream, after the wedding, he picked up Kylee, like he’d done after his jet landed. Kylee was smiling at him, and he looked at her like she was the light of his life. It felt real. Like they were family.
Rick grabbed a couple of plates from the cupboard and scraped the eggs off the frying pan onto the two plates. “Here you go,” he said, handing her one.
She buttered the toast and slid one onto his plate. He pulled two forks from the drawer and they sat down. Tara stabbed her eggs and lifted them to her mouth. Hot, fresh, and…crunchy?
She stopped chewing and stared at the eggs. “I think I found a piece of shell,” she said, her mouth full of unchewed eggs.
“Oh, sorry, I thought I got all that out of there.” He gave her an apologetic smile. He handed her a napkin and she spit out the eggs as discreetly as she could.
The toast couldn’t be messed up, so she took a bite of that. A little cold, but better than crunching on eggshells. “No problem.” At least he’d tried to cook for them. She was beginning to see the advantages of him hiring a cook.
“Mommy!” Kylee bounded toward her in her pink unicorn pajamas. “I’m hungry.”
“I’ll make you some eggs,” Tara said, scooting her plate back. Maybe she wouldn’t offend Rick too badly if she snuck some of them for herself.
She started on the eggs while Rick finished eating his breakfast. Kylee chatted about her time with Amanda and how they played games and watched movies. Amanda entered the room and Tara added two more eggs to the pan.
“Want to go whale watching today?” Rick asked.
Kylee squealed. “Whales? I want to see whales!”
“Sounds like fun,” Tara said.
While she finished cooking the eggs, Rick washed the dishes. Tara was impressed he didn’t just leave the dirty dishes in the sink like he did at home. Maybe with no staff here, he was used to cleaning up after himself. She had to admit, he looked sexy with his sleeves rolled up and his hands in soapy water. His forearms were muscular.
After breakfast, Rick stuck on a pair of sunglasses and they piled in his vehicle to go tour the island. Tara was amazed at how small it was. She could see the ocean from almost anywhere they went. They ended up at a pier, and he paid for a whale watching excursion for the four of them.
When it came time to step on the ramp, Kylee cried and held onto Rick’s legs. He picked her up and whispered something in her ear. She settled down and held onto his neck. He stepped onto the boat and took Kylee over to the railing so she could look out at the water.
Tara stood next to him and grabbed the railing. The tour guide spoke for a minute about the island, then started up the engine and they took off. Rick slid his hand around Tara’s waist as they sped out farther into the ocean.
She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. “Thanks for talking to me last night,” he said, his voice so low no one else could hear them over the roar of the engine.
What was she to say to that? He had opened up to her, and it had changed something between them. She wasn’t exactly sure what yet, but the air between them was different. She wrapped her arm around him and snuggled into his chest. No words would come to her, so she stayed silent.
The boat slowed and the tour guide pointed out where to look and what to look for. He showed them where the binoculars were kept in case they wanted a better look. They sat for a few minutes, with nothing happening before a small mound rose to the surface of the water in the distance. “There,” the guide pointed.
A blast of air and water came from the whale, and Kylee giggled, pointing. “Look!”
“That’s so cool,” Amanda said, picking up a pair of binoculars.
They took turns using the binoculars and watching for more whales. In all, they spotted three before it was time to go back to shore. Kylee clung to Rick the entire time. As they sped back to the dock, Kylee snuggled into his shoulder and he rubbed her back.
Looking at them together nearly broke Tara’s heart. Why couldn’t Bobby have been that kind of father? Why was Rick taking to the role so perfectly? She pushed
the thought out of her head. She didn’t want to think of him as playing a role. Now wasn’t the time to think about how temporary their situation was. She was having a good day.
They ate at a small seafood place. No one seemed to recognize Rick. Maybe that’s why he wore the sunglasses. She watched him as he interacted with Kylee. Her daughter clung to him as she sat on his lap at the restaurant. She refused to try the shrimp until he ate some, then she willingly gobbled up her food.
Near the end of the meal Rick’s cell phone rang and he excused himself to take the call. When he came back to the table, his expression was unreadable, and Tara wondered what the call had been about. He didn’t say anything, so she left it alone.
They made it back to Rick’s cabin in the early afternoon. “Want to go see the beach?” he asked.
Kylee nodded up at him. Tara’s heart squeezed to see the admiration in her eyes. “I want to see more whales!”
He chuckled. “We probably won’t see more whales at my beach, but we can look for seashells. Would you like that?”
Kylee clapped her hands and ran to the back door. “Yes!”
Amanda followed them down the path to the sand. Kylee giggled and ran to the water’s edge. Tara turned to Rick. “Are there undercurrents here?”
“Sometimes. It’s best to keep her out of the water.”
Tara walked toward Kylee and held out her hand. “Stay with me, okay? This water is for looking at, not swimming in.”
Kylee pouted, pulling away from her. “I want Rick.”
He walked to them and took Kylee’s hand. “Listen to your mom, okay? Let’s find some shells.”
Tara sat in the sand and watched Amanda, Kylee, and Rick picking up shells and running from the waves as they came in. Soon Rick joined her and it was just Amanda and Kylee playing on the beach.
“Is it always like this?”
She peered at him, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
He gazed out at Kylee, his expression contemplative. “Your daughter. She’s adorable. And then she’s looking at me with those big eyes and I can’t say no to her.”
Tara threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, she’s got you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she?”
His eyes crinkled as he gave her a shy smile. “I guess so.”
They fell into a companionable silence as they watched Kylee run along the beach, her short legs moving so fast they blurred. Rick looked happy. It seemed different somehow from before. He wasn’t as guarded. The air between them grew charged.
He picked up her hand and traced a finger along her skin. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Yes.”
“Would there ever be a time when you would want to see your father again?”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”
He didn’t look up at her, just continued to stare down at her hand, his touch sending little zaps through her. “Maybe Kylee should know her grandparents.”
Tara’s gut instinct was to pull away, but she forced herself to remain still. Rick didn’t know her father. He couldn’t know the pain her father caused her the day he forced her out of his life. Tara took a steadying breath. “My father wouldn’t want me contacting him. He made that clear.”
Rick’s gaze connected with hers. “Time can change people. And other things, too.”
Something in his eyes made Tara aware that this wasn’t just a simple conversation. “What happened?”
He looked down at their hands, still touching. “Your father called.”
“What? He called you?” Too many questions swirled around in her head. How did her father get Rick’s number? Was that the phone call from earlier? What had he wanted?
“My number isn’t published. He called around until he got Phil on the phone.”
Her throat constricted. Why was her father trying to get a hold of Rick? Was something wrong? “What did he want?”
“He wants to see Kylee.”
Chapter 19
T
ara’s throat closed up. Why would her father even care? She pulled her hand away from Rick. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Rick peered down, a guilty look on his face and his fingers absently drawing in the sand.
“What did you do?”
“I said we’d make a trip out to Iowa.” He met her gaze. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you about it first.”
Heat flushed through her. “Yes, you should have. Now you have to call back and tell them we’re not going.”
He blinked at her. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but just hear me out.”
She didn’t want to listen. She wanted to punch him. But her rational and less-violent side won out and she nodded.
“Your father had no idea you and Bobby had a baby. When he saw his own granddaughter on television, he was shocked.”
A little bit of guilt wormed its way into Tara’s chest, but she fought back with her justification. “He’d told me never to contact him again.”
“I know. But he was angry. He didn’t mean it. And then after it was said he didn’t know how to take it back.”
Kylee squealed and Tara’s gaze followed the noise. Amanda had a piece of seaweed, and Kylee was running from it like it was a sea monster. Tara leaned back and turned to Rick again. “If my father really was sorry, why hadn’t he tried to contact me before now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he was still angry you chose to marry Bobby against his advice.”
“It wasn’t his choice to make.” She dug her fingers into the sand. The sun had warmed the top layer, but underneath it was cooler.
“I know. But what’s done is done. He’s reaching out to you and Kylee. Wouldn’t it be a good thing to see if you can repair your relationship?”
She wanted to say something about Rick and his own relationship issues, but Tara stuffed the words down her throat. She didn’t want to get into another fight with him. She gazed out over the ocean and forced herself to calm down. It wasn’t a good idea to overreact. That only lead to embarrassment.
Rick sighed. “I’m sorry. I stuck my nose where it shouldn’t have been. If you don’t want to go visit your parents, I’ll call Phil back and tell him it’s off.”
“No,” she said, touching his arm. “It’s okay. Maybe we could go see them.”
He slid his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. “I won’t let him hurt you again,” he whispered, then he pressed his lips to the top of her head.
She snuggled into him, ignoring the little voice telling her not to get so close to Rick Shade. “I know,” she said, her voice barely audible. Rick would do everything in his power to protect her and Kylee.
He wrapped both arms around her and she could smell his scent. A tiny hint of cologne mixed with a smell that was unique to Rick. Her heart beat faster.
He pulled back from her. “You know, if we were really married, I’d kiss you right now.” His voice sounded raspy.
She looked up at him. “We are really married. I saw the paperwork.”
His gaze dropped to her lips. “Then I guess I have to.”
“Probably wouldn’t be right if you didn’t.”
He leaned closer, stopping only a breath away from her lips. “I hope those onions I ate earlier don’t ruin the kiss.”
“I’ll let you know if your breath is hideous by making little choking noises as we kiss.”
His lips twitched. “Thanks,” he said before he closed the gap. His soft lips teased hers, and she closed her eyes. His hand reached around her neck, pulling her closer, his thumb caressing her cheek. The kiss deepened and she lost all thought about what he’d eaten for lunch. Her skin tingled with his touch. She could easily melt into the sand and die a happy person.
“What are you doing, Mommy?” Kylee came bounding up to them, spraying sand on Tara’s legs. She reluctantly pulled back.
“Kylee! Come here!” Amanda ran up to Kylee and picked her up. “I’m sorry, she got away fro
m me.”
Tara felt a blush creep up to her cheeks. “It’s fine.”
“Look at this!” Kylee said, holding up a seashell. Part of it had broken, revealing the intricate spiral on the inside.
Rick examined it. “That’s awesome.”
“Great find,” Tara said, putting her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun.
“Let’s go look for more treasures,” Amanda said, holding out her hand. Kylee ran to her.
Rick turned toward Tara. “Where were we?”
Unfortunately, reality had set in and the moment was gone. She shouldn’t be kissing Rick, not when their relationship had an expiration date. She needed to remember that even though the marriage certificate was real, what they had was fake.
“I was just about to tell you to keep it light on the onions next time.”
His smile vanished. “Seriously?” He cupped his hand in front of his mouth and huffed into it, then sniffed.
Guilt made her stomach clench. The look on his face made it worse. He grimaced, like he’d just had one of his most embarrassing moments. She couldn’t let him continue to think he had onion breath.
She laughed, trying to keep it light. “I’m just kidding.”
His mouth dropped open and he poked her in the side. “I’m going to get you good for that one.”
Before she knew it, he was on top of her, his knees straddling her sides, his fingers tickling under her ribs. She fell back against the sand and laughed, squirming to get away, but she couldn’t. His fingers skimmed over her skin, making her laugh so hard she could barely breathe.
“Tickle me next!” Kylee said.
Rick finally relented, climbing off her and going after Kylee. Her daughter screamed and laughed as he chased her in the sand. Anyone watching would have thought he was her father. The thought made her blink back tears.
Acting Married (The Married Series Book 5) Page 12