That was what made Ryan’s sudden appearance such a startling one. We were walking along the narrow strip of grass that separated the buildings from the fence line, when we heard his footsteps behind us. And turning towards the sound, I noticed immediately that his expression was one of pure anger. His face was red and his brow creased into a deep frown but his eyes were what really caught my attention. At that moment, their dark intensity was almost evil and instantly, I knew there was going to be trouble.
It was quite clear that Blake was his target, and as if on a rampage Ryan lashed out with both hands; the sudden shove almost knocking Blake off his feet.
That was when we heard Blake’s abrupt and angry response.
“Back off, you loser!”
However, Blake’s words were ignored. Rather than backing off, Ryan lunged forward and in the blink of an eye, the two boys were rolling around on the ground; Ryan’s fists thumping into Blake with a vengeance.
“Get off him! Get off him!” I screamed loudly.
The scene in front of me was almost surreal. I felt as though I must be imagining it. Surely it could not be happening. The sight of Blake being beaten to a pulp on the very ground at my feet was the most distressing thing I had ever witnessed.
As if in the middle of a nightmare, I stood helplessly by, frozen to the spot with fear. Until finally, the sound of my own screams broke through my subconscious.
Looking frantically around for Millie, I realized she had gone for help and I prayed that someone would come quickly. Ryan was like a person possessed. But I could also see that Blake was fighting back. They were oblivious to my screams, each boy intent on hurting the other.
Meanwhile, desperate for the fighting in front of me to end, all I could do was beg for them to stop.
Aftermath…
As I sat on the bus alongside Millie, we were still in shock over what had just happened only a short time earlier.
Both of us had been called into the office to give an account of what we’d witnessed. Blake, who had already spoken to Mrs. Harding, remained seated in the office foyer, complete with the beginning of what I was sure would become a nasty black eye.
At our school, fighting was considered a serious offence, and we were all aware that suspension was being considered for both boys.
But how could that be?
Certainly for Ryan! Yes, he deserved it. That kid was psycho and as far as I was concerned, he should actually be expelled. But poor Blake, he was completely innocent and was simply trying to protect himself. Of course he had to fight back. Wasn’t that normal? Either that or be beaten to a pulp.
That was what I tried to explain to Mrs. Harding. I sat in front of her desk, tears springing to the corners of my eyes.
It was so unfair! The day before our Eighth Grade graduation and Blake, the school captain was under threat of suspension.
Added to that, where did it leave our band and the performance we’d worked so hard for? When I asked Mrs. Harding that question, she said she would have to finish her investigation before making any decisions and then she excused both Millie and I from her office so we could catch our bus.
But all I could think of was poor Blake, still sitting there waiting for his parents to arrive. What a mess!
One thing we did find out though, were some details about Ryan’s disorder. Alec had caught up with us on our way to the bus stop and apparently some of the kids in the other class had been talking about Ryan. One of them happened to live next door to him and had found out a heap of information which definitely explained a few things at least.
Apparently, along with a heap of social problems where he struggled to get on with other kids, he had anger management issues and OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I’d heard the term mentioned before, and Millie and I often joked with each other about being that way ourselves.
Millie called me “OCD” when it came to my book work. I was fanatic about keeping it as neat as possible and would never even attempt to draw a straight line unless I used a ruler. Millie always said that I should win an award for my book work and had actually planned to suggest the idea to our teacher.
Whereas Millie couldn’t care less about the neatness of her work and was more than happy to rule lines freehand, which was something I could never do.
One thing Millie was “OCD” about was her hair. Almost every morning, she insisted on using a hair straightener and would not leave the house unless her hair was perfectly straight. I always laughed and teased her about this but she continued to use the straightener anyway.
I guessed that in a way, everyone was probably “OCD” about something. However, when it came to Ryan, it was not a laughing matter. His OCD was obviously extreme. And unfortunately, I was one of the people he had become obsessed with.
As for the anger problems that Ryan suffered, we’d definitely seen the extent of those. But it wasn’t until later that afternoon when I spoke to Blake on the phone, that I heard the full story.
Ryan had been expelled from his previous school. He was known for fighting and it became so bad that in the end, the school decided he had to leave. Permanently. From there he came to our school. Although, I really didn’t know why his parents bothered to send him as it was so late in the semester.
I also couldn’t see the point in Mrs. Harding accepting a kid like that, especially as the year was almost over. But I guessed his parents just wanted him to graduate, and Mrs. Harding, being the kind principal that she was, had been willing to give him a chance.
Well, he had clearly wrecked any opportunities as far as that were concerned. And I wondered briefly what would happen to a kid like that. Perhaps he’d have to repeat Eighth Grade somewhere else.
Whatever was in store for him…it was his problem. I really didn’t care. I also hoped that he would leave the area and move as far away as possible. I never wanted to come face to face with him again.
Blake was off the hook. I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when he told me that. Although I knew he wasn’t at fault, I wasn’t sure if Mrs. Harding would see it that way. But after listening to Blake’s account of what had happened, as well as the reports from all the witnesses, it must have been obvious he was telling the truth.
Such a nightmare and it could all have been avoided. If only I hadn’t suggested taking a pathway that was actually out of bounds anyway.
That was something Mrs. Harding had scolded all of us for, but in the scheme of things, it was just a minor detail and she ended up overlooking it.
When I explained that Ryan had been stalking me and putting notes in my bag, she was too shocked to worry about much else. While I hadn’t yet mentioned the notes to anyone, I was desperate for her to realize what had been going on; anything to make sure Blake wasn’t blamed for what had happened.
I still had no real proof that Ryan had actually written the notes but I could tell by the look on Mrs. Harding’s face that she agreed with me. They had definitely come from him.
As I talked with Blake on the phone, and listened carefully while he shared all the details of his meeting with Mrs. Harding, I was reminded of the fight that I’d been forced to watch. And I was so grateful that a teacher had come along to break it up before any serious injuries were caused.
When I saw Blake at school the following day…I was certainly not prepared for the state of his face. All I could think was thank goodness I had the beautiful photo of the two of us at the formal dance. The way he now looked was probably not going to be a memory I’d want to keep.
That fight was definitely something I’d prefer to wipe from my memory banks forever.
Grad…
Regardless of all the chaos, mayhem and near disaster that occurred as a lead up to graduation, the evening itself was more successful than I could ever have imagined.
We sat so proudly in the front rows of the assembly hall. The entire Eighth Grade, dressed in caps and gowns was such a special sight. And when each person was called to walk across the stage
and receive the long-awaited certificate, every other eighth grader looked on, eagerly waiting for their turn.
Watching from my seat as Blake stood ready to begin the final journey, the one that marked the end of middle school, my eyes followed every step as he headed up onto the stage.
Previously concerned about his black eye, which was much worse than I had anticipated, I could see that from a distance it was not quite so obvious. Originally though, his mom had been horrified at the thought of him graduating like that; so much so that she wanted to cover his bruise with makeup. But he had bluntly refused. Deep down, I think he may have been proud of that black eye. It certainly wasn’t something you see every day, especially at graduation, and his was quite impressive! I had a sneaking suspicion the main reason for refusing to wear any make up was so he could show it off.
However, all thoughts of the fight the day before were wiped completely from my mind as I watched Blake accept his graduation certificate. Filled with pride, I beamed at him from my seat as he grinned happily back. He looked so handsome in his cap and gown and my heart welled with joy for the beautiful boy in front of me.
Then, soon after, my name was announced and I was able to make my own way across the stage. There were huge smiles from my parents, as they watched proudly from their seats in the audience, and Matt was grinning widely as well. I even caught a small wave from him as I headed back to my seat.
Just that morning, when he saw me dressed in the cap and gown, he said that he couldn’t believe I had suddenly grown up. For a moment, I think he even became a little emotional. Although of course he would never admit that. But I did enjoy the hug he gave me. That certainly doesn’t happen very often and made me feel close to him.
While I had experienced his graduation a couple of years earlier, from a seat in the audience alongside my parents, nothing had prepared me for the overwhelming emotions of my own official end to middle school.
I felt the biggest impact when I joined Blake on the stage ready to present the school captain’s speech. This was something we’d been working on for quite a while and one I had thought I was ready for. We’d presented several speeches to large audiences before, but this time it was very different.
When I looked out onto the audience, with all the kids in our grade seated in the front rows, many of whom I had known since kindergarten, I realized instantly that I would never again stand on that stage. And I was forced to take a deep breath before attempting to start.
The sudden light touch of Blake’s hand on my own was all the reassurance I needed and I looked towards him gratefully. Then, staring out at the crowd of students, teachers and family members, I began my part of the speech that Blake and I had rehearsed so many times before.
Just as I’d hoped, the two of us managed to successfully breeze through it. The applause was loud and long. Blake and I looked into each other’s eyes…this moment was perfect.
After listening to Mrs. Harding present the final speech of the ceremony, it was the moment we’d all been waiting for, and any sad or anxious thoughts instantly disappeared. The pure excitement on every face as we tossed our caps into the air was magical; an image I will treasure forever.
We had officially graduated, but for us the fun was only just beginning. I threw my arms around Millie and Blake’s shoulders, and Blake grabbed hold of Jack. Then we headed for the stage so we could perform the last act of the evening. Although the entire night was one we will always remember, for us that last act was possibly the most memorable moment of all.
The steady beat of Blake’s drums quickly gained the attention of every single person there. And when my guitar kicked in and I strummed the rhythm to the introduction of our first song, applause rang out loudly throughout the hall. This was followed by the sweet sound of Millie’s voice. It was such a great combination and we knew that we sounded good. But the highlight was when Jack broke into his awesome rap. To me, that was the coolest sound ever.
The reaction from the audience was amazing. And the cheering and whistling of the kids in our grade spurred us on as we continued with more hit songs, perfectly played.
When our final song came to an end, the audience was on their feet, demanding more. All we could do was stare at the sight in front of us. It was unbelievable that they loved our music so much.
Without a doubt it was the proudest moment of my life. And after a nod from Mrs. Harding, giving us permission to continue, we burst into another song. Glancing back towards her, I caught the beaming smile on her own face and could see that she was filled with pride as well.
When we later lined up for the last of the official photos, I realized that Blake’s eye was as black as the cap on his head. But no one cared and we all joked about the stories that would be told when looking back on those photos in years to come.
Out of all the photos taken, one of my favorites was the one that my brother snapped just before leaving. What made it even more special was the fact that he later decided to keep a copy for himself. That meant more to me than anything.
It had been such an incredible night, one that I knew I would never forget. And when my parents surprised me afterwards with a family dinner at a special restaurant in town, I couldn’t have felt happier. In addition to graduating, I had received the best report card ever and it was definitely time to celebrate.
As I lay in bed later that night, reliving every minute of the previous several hours in my head, not in a million years did I anticipate that in a week’s time, an abrupt turn of events would change everything.
And when I was later faced with the news, I simply could not come to terms with how things had changed so dramatically.
It was incomprehensible and I did not understand.
Too sudden and too unexpected, nothing could ever have prepared me.
One week later…
Climbing out my bedroom window was easier than I imagined. It had been several years since I last attempted that very act of rebellious behavior but on that previous occasion, it had not gone well.
At the time, I’d been sent to my room for being rude and disrespectful. I remember the incident clearly and still could not believe that my parents would make me go to bed without any dinner. I was so angry at them and just wanted to run away.
As it was a warm night, my window was wide open, the cool breeze helping to stifle the summer heat. Staring out into the night sky, my gaze had fallen upon the tree branch that was in full view and just within reach.
It was something I’d heard other kids had done but I’d never attempted it myself. I soon found out however, that it was not such a good idea; especially after managing to get out onto the branch and feeling so scared that I was unable to go any further.
Frozen with fear I could not move in any direction. But being the stubborn person I was, I refused to cry for help. Then, after several minutes, which at the time felt like forever, I was left with no other option.
Thankfully though, my brother was sitting at the desk in his bedroom which was adjacent to mine, and from the angle where I clung to the tree trunk, I could clearly see him through the window. Focused on some type of portable electronic device, he was oblivious to everything around him. Although I had to admit that from where he sat, I was not in his direct line of view.
It had taken several attempts to get his attention and eventually I managed to alert him to the fact that I needed help. But I’m still not sure it was worth the humiliation I felt when he stuck his grinning face out the window. He later told me that the sight of his sister clinging helplessly to the tree trunk was the best thing he’d seen in a long time. He’d found it so entertaining that at first he threatened to leave me there a while longer. Eventually though, and after much laughter, he came to my rescue.
On this latest occasion however, at the age of thirteen I was much braver, and able to escape without alerting anyone.
When I approached Millie’s house a short time later, I could see that the living room lights were on and as I p
eered cautiously through the window, I spotted Millie curled up comfortably on the couch watching television. Stopping to stare for a moment, I couldn’t help the smile on my own face as I watched her eyes crinkle with amusement at the hilarious comedy show she was watching. It was an old favorite, one that we often watched together, the two of us in fits of laughter each and every time.
With my eyes fixed on the TV screen, I became absorbed in the scene on display and momentarily forgot the reason I was there. But my sudden burst of laughter caught Millie’s attention and she glanced towards the window where I was standing at the edge of the frame, partly hidden from sight.
The curtains were drawn closed but the sheer fabric allowed a clear view from outside and I could see her put her face to the glass, cupping her hands at the corners of her eyes in order to look out into the darkness beyond.
“Boo!” I yelled, as I jumped into her line of vision.
Her startled response at the sudden dark shape appearing in front of her caused me to laugh out loud, my original intention to sneak up quietly, going by the wayside.
“Julia! OMG! You scared me half to death!” she squealed loudly as she ran for the front door to let me in.
“What are you doing here?” she asked curiously as she wrapped her arms briefly around me in a welcoming hug.
I could see her looking out into the dark night, expecting to see my mom’s car parked in the driveway, with Mom waiting impatiently at the wheel.
“And how did you get here?” she continued.
It was obvious she was puzzled by my abrupt and unexpected appearance at her door. But unable to form the words I needed to say, all self-control deserted me completely and I burst into tears.
Julia Jones' Diary - Boxed Set - Books 2 to 6 Page 29