‘Aditya, should I leave? I am not interested in listening to his clarifications. I need a break. I can’t take it anymore. Not after knowing the truth behind Tamanna di’s death,’ she said looking at me.
‘If I didn’t love you, I could have screwed you by informing the police officers about Tamanna’s call last night. She told me everything and I trust her. She would never lie to me as she treated me like her sister. You killed her. You are responsible for the whole mess. You deserve nothing better. At least try to be honest to yourself. And if you can’t then go away! Get lost. I am breaking all the promises and this relationship, which you never respected but just pretended to be in. You are such a b******. Fuck off. You’ll pay for your deeds one day,’ she screamed at Akash.
It’s not the goodbye that hurts; it’s the flashback that follows. It hurts the most when the person who made you feel so special till yesterday, suddenly makes you feel so unwanted today. Aleesha still loved Akash, but she just didn’t believe in him anymore. She left. Maybe, forever. Akash had lost everything in last 24 hours.
I Love You So Much, It Hurts
Why is that we recognize love only when it ends? Love never dies a natural death; it dies because of betrayals. Doctors don’t operate on these wounds and once it starts bleeding, it causes instant death. The death of love!
‘I just wanted her to smile and not doubt me because of what Tamanna had told her. If she had known earlier, it would have ended long back. I wish I could have told Tamanna earlier but I didn’t want her to hurt Aleesha in the process. It’s my bad luck that not only have I hurt Tamanna and been the cause of her death, but I will probably have to also end my relationship with Aleesha,’ Akash muttered to himself.
Akash was walking through the Cyprus area of Mulund when he saw a couple sitting on the same bench where he had spent an evening with Aleesha. All of a sudden, those memories flashed before his eyes—the day when Aleesha had worn a Kashmiri suit that that he had gifted her.
He recollected what Aleesha had told him—‘You are the reason for this smile and the glow on my face. I don’t need any beauty parlours for this glow. Your kisses make my face glow even in the saddest of moments. Never break my trust, Akash. Just be the same always.’
Walking back home alone, depressed, and frustrated, he cursed God for everything as he had not got what he wanted from life.
‘That’s not fair. How could you do this to me? Aren’t you satisfied with my pain? When I wanted my father around during my growing up years, you took him away from me. I had to convince myself saying, “Akash, you can’t be like others. You don’t have a dad who can sit beside you when you fail in an exam or who will shout at you when you smoke. You are all alone.” Then you brought Aleesha into my life and allowed me to share all my feelings with her. It felt like magic. But suddenly you caught hold of me and kicked me again by making me realize that I am not meant to love anyone. I was alone and will always live like that. If my friend had done all this, I would have asked him why was he doing this to me? But, how should I ask you? You are the Almighty. It’s okay. You carry on.’
He had called her more than a hundred times from his alternate mobile number but did not get a response. She kept ignoring all his calls. Finally he sent her a message:
You really feel I am a liar? Even when I lied to you that I was not drinking with my friends, you caught me. Was I ever successful in lying to you? Then how can you just walk away like this without giving me a second chance? I don’t know how to put this across to you, but I would like you to know that you were, you are, and you will always remain my princess. I know I didn’t tell you things which I should have told you a long time ago, but… How could you even think like that? It was just you with whom I shared my little secrets. Even when I cut my nails, I told you. So at least you should have given me a second chance. But, I know these words mean nothing to you as you have lost your trust in me and don’t want to hear any more clarifications. Maybe, I shouldn’t have come into your life and raised your hopes, only to shatter them. But falling in love with you was not in my hands. How many times have I told you not to make decisions in haste? But…
He waited for a reply but knew that she wouldn’t. She had already assumed that he was the villain of the story. Akash was devastated and couldn’t believe that he had lost his job, his respect, his self-confidence, and his love—all in one go. Akash felt as helpless as a puppet in destiny’s hand and however hard he tried to break from its clutches, he was unable to do it. The only good thing was that Kritika firmly stood by him in this time of crisis like a good friend. She believed in him and wanted Aleesha and Akash to be together once again.
The next morning, Akash went to her hostel and waited under the same tree where he had once waited for her before going on a date. This time he waited there to make Aleesha realize what reality was. Kritika messaged him that Aleesha had left the room, so he went closer to the main gate. He turned nervous when he saw Aleesha coming towards him. She seemed to have cried a lot and she had even forgotten to put her eyeliner, and there were bags under her eyes. Aleesha saw Akash, but she completely ignored him and walked ahead. Akash had made up his mind that he would talk with her anyhow. He ran behind her and stopped her midway.
‘What’s this? You could at least hear what I have to say. You are not even taking my calls or replying to my messages.’
‘Look Akash, please don’t irritate me like this, or I will scream. Go away. I don’t want to hear anything. I trusted you and felt you were different from other guys who just plays with the emotions of girls. But I was wrong. All guys are the same. Tamanna was right. I wish she had warned me before. At least her parents wouldn’t have suffered. You killed her parents too. They have lost their sole reason to live. Even my parents are… Forget it, why am I telling you all this? You are a loser. Go away.’
‘Do you even know why I did that? I lost my job. I knew something of this sort would happen once Tammy came to know about us. She was one obsessed girl. She behaved like a…’
‘Oh please! Don’t use such words for her. You think I’ll listen to your lies again? Buzz off. Yes, you said it right. I shouldn’t have assumed you were different from others, Mr Akash, or should I call you Mr Deep? You are… you knew that we are family friends and still you forced her… Go away Akash. Don’t force me to shout and create a scene here.’
That was it! Akash had lost his one final chance too. Aleesha was in no mood to hear him out. She had never witnessed the death of a closed one before. It was the biggest shock of her life and the parental pressure to come back to Kolkata was making her head spin. But she had to wait until the cops allowed her to leave the city. The medical reports were yet to come and she had to wait. Akash wondered how Aleesha could get over their relationship so easily. He checked his recent updates on BBM and saw Aleesha’s status update.
I am not ignoring you but just trying to lessen my expectations from you and preventing myself from being hurt again.
Akash messaged her immediately…
Not even for one night can I sleep without thinking about you. And you have no idea how loudly my heart beats for you. Don’t crush it so harshly. We may have to part ways for now, but you will always be the one for me.
‘She doesn’t even talk about me once?’ Akash asked Kritika. We were all at Shivaji Park, Dadar.
‘She does. But she is too disturbed and… How should I tell you? She has lost trust in you completely,’ Kritika answered.
‘Aditya, am I that bad? You think I can really play with her feelings? Tamanna has screwed it all. She is not even in this world anymore to clear the mess. How can I prove to Aleesha that I am innocent? I don’t care about the cops but…this is the same place where she had consulted me about shifting to a hostel and today she kicked me out of her life without even consulting me, ’ Akash said with watery eyes.
Almost a week had passed and the situation had only worsened. Kritika and I were consoling him and trying to bring him out of depressi
on. Kritika even tried to convince Aleesha but it was of no use. After I tricked her into meeting Akash, she ignored me as well. All we could do was to be with Akash and make him feel better. Kritika even missed her lectures and supported Akash. This gesture made him feel better since Kritika was Aleesha’s friend. She knew misunderstandings do happen and was positive about their patch up. Her amethyst crystal made her feel so. But nowhere could we see any light of hope.
‘Akash, I would suggest you wait for the medical reports. Tomorrow, the medical reports will be with the police and then the picture will be clear to us. Aleesha will be convinced after that but till then don’t be sad. I know how it feels. You know what I went through. Even this phase will pass. Trust me,’ I tried to motivate him.
Akash felt like his body was being ripped apart into half. The medical reports were yet to come. They were his only hope to prove himself innocent. He couldn’t sleep the entire night, the same way a student can’t sleep the night before his Viva especially when he is the target of all the professors who are waiting to pounce upon him. The mere thought of the police station made him nervous.
The next morning when he reached the police station, Aleesha was already there, sitting in front of the officer. Her eyes were wet but her mind was firm. The officer glanced through the reports.
‘This is the medical report which we were waiting for. And as expected, it makes everything clear,’ the officer said.
Akash crossed his fingers and bit his teeth in nervousness. Nothing had gone right in the last few days and the blame game by colleagues had left a deep impact on him. Inspite of being loyal to Aleesha, he was sitting beside her in the police station like a stranger.
‘We are closing the case. The medical reports say that percentage of alcoholic content was way above the permitted limit in her body. She was not in a state to drive. There were no marks found on her body. This clears the doubt of rape and sexual harassment. It was just an accident. I am sorry for all the trouble you had to go through but that’s our duty. You can leave, you are free now,’ the officer announced.
Akash’s happiness knew no bounds. As they walked farther away from the police station, Akash stopped Aleesha midway and gave her big smile.
‘Stop it Akash. You are…’ Aleesha screamed which turned many heads in their direction.
‘Now what? Didn’t you hear what the officer said? It was an accident. The intake of alchohol killed her, not me. I didn’t force myself upon her. There are no marks on her body. He said this very clearly. Now trust me jaan,’ Akash pleaded.
‘You think I was waiting for the reports to come? You are wrong, Mr Akash. There are so many cases that get shut due to lack of evidence, but the real truth is known only to the family members. So what if there are no marks on her body? You must have done it with her on a previous occasion. Otherwise why would Tammy di lie to me? She said it very clearly that you lusted for her and had always wanted to take her to bed with you. Why would she try to spoil our relationship? If she would have known that we loved each other, she would have been happy for us. Anyway, let’s not discuss this any further. It’s over between us.’
‘Aleesha please don’t do this to me. I agree that I should have told you, but I did all that for you. I never…’
Everytime he tried to speak, Aleesha stopped him short. She kept walking away from him as if he was a stranger. When Akash stopped following her, she turned back and said:
‘Akash, I will never say I regret being with you. Because at one point of time, you were exactly the person I wanted to be with. The past is never a mistake if you have learnt from it. I have learnt never to trust someone so much that it hurts your expectations. Even I never wanted it to end this way. It’s all your fault. I don’t want to take revenge or teach you a lesson, but you will bear the consequences of your actions by losing me. Bye Akash. I am changing my number.’
‘You are again assuming things and not looking at the other side of the coin, Aleesha…’ Akash screamed after her. But this time she didn’t turn back.
‘Aleesha, where are you going? What have I done to you that you have stopped discussing things with me?’ Kritika enquired when she saw Aleesha packing her bags.
‘You think I am a fool? As if I don’t know that you are busy running after Akash. I’m not blind. It’s better to be calculative rather than regret later,’ Aleesha exclaimed.
‘Oh please! You all are just my friends and it’s my responsibility to be with my friends when they need me. I am tired of making you understand. Can’t you give him one chance?’ Kritika added.
‘Why should I? So that he breaks my heart and insults my love again? And you don’t need to tell me what responsibility is. I won’t be surprised to see you both on this very bed when I return from Kolkata. Tamanna failed to warn me earlier, but I am warning you in advance,’ Aleesha screamed, making Kritika lose her temper.
Aleesha’s parents too were upset and wanted her to come back to Kolkata for a week or two as there were no lectures due to college functions. Aleesha also needed a change. Though she still loved Akash more than anything in the world, she was afraid to start everything all over again since it was difficult for her to live with the fact that Tammy had died because of Akash’s harassment. Her subconscious mind never believed that Akash could have harassed Tammy but she couldn’t ignore Tamanna’s last phone call either.
As soon as Kritika told Akash that Aleesha was leaving for Kolkata, he couldn’t stop himself from going to the airport to convince her for the last time. But she had already checked-in and Akash didn’t find her anywhere near the departure gates. He couldn’t deal with all the pain and wanted to end it but had no clue whatsoever. Sometimes he wondered if anybody would miss him even if he put a bullet through his head, sometimes he wondered why it started when it had to end this way. The world kept crumbling around him. All his hopes had vanished. He had to convince his heart that it had ended for good. But whenever he stood in front of the mirror, he saw this person getting tortured. He watched this other Akash suffer all the pain and crying to sleep every night with a wish that this suffering would end. But it kept growing inside him, killing him bit by bit every day. So what was his destiny?
To walk on the path of sorrow and pain?
What an Idea, Sirji!
February 13
A month had passed since Tamanna’s death but the wounds were still fresh. There are times when you feel nothing could possibly favour you. Akash was sitting alone, trying hard to get past the emptiness he felt within his soul, but was lost, scared, and couldn’t feel pleasant about anything around him.
One death had scattered many lives. Her parents, Aleesha, Akash, Kritika, and me—all had suffered the pain of loss. Aleesha had lost trust in Akash and Kritika had lost a friend in Aleesha, while Akash had lost everything.
Still time doesn’t stop for anyone and life moves on.
It was February 13, Kritika’s birthday!
She had forced Akash and me to join the party organized by her friends in Lavasa. Despite our constant pleading, Kritika had managed to convince us both to come. We were staying at Ekaant Hotel which had an amazing view of the valley. We were sad but tried our best to hide our sadness from others at the venue. Kritika’s college friends were also present at that time. Akash tried to hide his feelings as he didn’t want to spoil Kritika’s party. She had supported him selflessly during the bad times. However, it was difficult for him to attended the party and pretend like nothing had happened.
I brought him a plate of biryani but he refused to eat.
I knew how it felt to go through such a difficult phase. Though your face shows no expressions, your soul is deeply tormented.
‘Kritika, did Aleesha call you?’ Akash enquired.
‘Yes. We even chatted for some time. She is returning back from Kolkata tomorrow,’ Kritika answered.
‘Did she talk about me even once? Please tell me…’
Akash was getting on my nerves by continuously talking abo
ut Aleesha.
‘We chatted on WhatsApp yesterday so I can mail that to you. Give me your mail id,’ Kritika replied.
I was drunk and losing my patience.
‘Haaa, the same way you would mail me all of that bitch Tamanna’s chats. Tamanna did this, Tamanna did that, Tammy looked at me, Tammy tried to fuck me, blah blah blah… All your WhatsApp conversations are still fucking lying in my Gmail account which I hardly check. Get over it, Akash. Don’t be a coward. What did I ever do with the chats you sent? Nothing. So what are you going to do with Kritika and Aleesha’s chat? Kritika at least you should know better…’ I screamed.
Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks. I still had Tamanna and Akash’s WhatsApp chats saved on my Gmail account!
‘Akash, my mailbox! You have mailed me all the WhatsApp chats you had with Tamanna. Do you remember even one which one can help prove to Aleesha that you are innocent.’ I screamed aloud in excitement.
‘Oh my God, that’s amazing! And if you don’t find anything relevant, then you can put up a request to the service provider to retrieve your messages. We have finally found a way out of this mess,’ Kritika shrieked and jumped in excitement.
‘I don’t remember my password now but it’s saved on my system. So let’s check it once we reach Mumbai tomorrow morning. What say guys?’ I added.
All three of us jumped in joy and high-fived each other. Akash hugged me with tears in his eyes. We had found a ray of hope that could bring new sunshine into Akash’s life. The charm on his face was back. We all wished that we could find the relevant chats which could convince Aleesha that Tamanna was a liar and wanted to destroy her relationship with Akash.
‘You both have given me hope for a better tomorrow,’ Akash exclaimed in happiness and continued, ‘I never meant to cause her trouble. I owe so much to her. Now that I have a way, I know we will be together again and live for each other until life closes its last curtain.’
He hoped that they will unite again on the day of love—February 14.
It Started with a Friend Request Page 15