by James, Clara
Prologue
Allie Mclaren thought she had everything she wanted: a successful career. However, at just thirty-one, she learns that she has a severe form of leukemia. Unwilling to put herself through what will likely be fruitless, and certainly unpleasant, radiotherapy. She determines to live the rest of her life with a much more cavalier attitude than she had up until that point.
Seeking out old boyfriends and other male acquaintances, she set about making up for lost time by engaging in a string of purely physical flings. However, her quest for sexual freedom hit a bump in the road when she hooked up with her first love, Reece. Unable to simply engage in a one night stand with him, she finds herself having a quasi-relationship, which she knows is becoming harder to break with each passing day.
Eventually, Allie feels she has no option but to tell him the truth about her condition. Shortly after she does, she loses consciousness and awakes in a hospital bed. The news is bad: her cancer is progressing faster than initially anticipated. She’s given just months to live.
Allie doesn’t want to hurt Reece, so feels she has to let him go. When he argues, she tells him about her plan to make up for the sexual experiences she missed as a younger woman, and that she wishes to continue with that while she still has the chance. Hurt, Reece reluctantly accepts Allie’s decision and walks away.
However, he can’t stay away for long and is soon making efforts to contact her. Allie, on the other hand, is trying to block him from her thoughts, but her mind is constantly drifting to him; even when she’s with other men. After a night with a fellow reporter she met at a press conference, she arrives home to find a tipsy Reece at her front door.
He tells her that he loves her and wants to be with her, no matter what. She’s less sure and she’s unwilling to put him through a couple of months of happiness only for him to have to watch her slowly slip away. Reece, however, is determined not to let the matter drop this time. Eventually, unable to resists her feelings, she agrees that she wants to spend the time she has left with him and him alone. However, they are both very aware that their happily ever after won’t last long...
Chapter One
What Next
The sun dappled through the gap in the curtain and Allie watched it dance across the carpet by the side of her bed. She was transfixed by the movement of light and sighed deeply as she grasped the hand that was held at her waist.
A low, semi-conscious moan vibrated through the chest that was held against her back. “You okay?” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.
“Hmm,” she replied lazily, tipping her face over her shoulder. She blinked at his exhausted face. His eyes were struggling to focus on her and his chin was covered in a light layer of stubble. His dark hair was a mess; some at the back sticking up at an awkward angle. And he was still wearing the shirt he’d worn the night before. Nevertheless, Allie didn’t think she’d ever woken up to a more wonderful sight. “Hey you,” she smiled.
“Hi,” he replied, lifting his free hand and rubbing the heel against his right eye. “You sleep okay?” he managed to ask around a muffled yawn.
“Wonderfully,” she replied. “You?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his lips drawing up into a smile. “Pretty good.”
“I was worried that last night was a dream,” she added, with a light chuckle.
“Nope,” he tells her, shaking his head without lifting it from the pillow. “Definitely not a dream, because I’ve got a shocking headache.”
An explosion of laughter was not held back by Allie, as she turned her whole body toward Reece and snuggled closer to him. Burying her cheek against the soft cotton covering his chest, she draped an arm around his waist. Her giggles subsided, as she felt the reassuring thud, thud, thud of his heart. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” she asked, not looking up at him.
“I know I was a little drunk,” he began, the smile in his voice evident without having to see his face. “But I’m pretty sure we went over that last night.”
“We did,” she agreed, still keeping her face nestled against the firm, reassuringly solid, muscles of his chest. “But, I just wanted to make absolutely sure.”
“Listen,” he sighed, pulling back so he could hold her at arm’s length. “I meant every word I said,” he whispered, looking deep into her eyes in an effort to express his sincerity. “I realize it’s not going to be easy, but as long as we’re together...” he sucked in a breath, seeming to have second thoughts about whatever had been about to come out of his mouth. “Look,” he smiled, changing tack. “I just want to be with you.”
“I know,” Allie nodded, tears beginning to form in her lower lids. “I just wish it could be for longer,” she admitted, as a single droplet zigzagged its way over her cheekbone.
Reece quickly stopped the tear in its tracks, wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. “We’ve got all the time in the world,” he murmured, still beaming broadly at her. “Well, all the time that matters anyway.” Gently, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in an all too brief kiss. “You wanted to make up for lost time, right?” he urged, tapping his sock-covered foot against her bare toes.
She silently nodded, regarding him quizzically.
“Well, we’ll do it,” he stated adamantly. “All of the things you ever wanted to do; we’ll do them.” Excitedly, he pulled away from her and jumped out of bed. A pained expression crossed his features momentarily, and he gripped his forehead with his right palm, regretting the speed of his movement. However, he brushed it aside quickly. “Where do you wanna go?” he asked, striding to the foot of the bed and resting his hand on the frame. “What do you want to do?”
Much more slowly than Reece had done, Allie eased herself into an upright position and shuffled backwards until she was propped up on the headboard. “What are you talking about?” she asked, shaking her head in amusement.
“Anything you want,” he insisted, running his free hand through his sleep-tussled hair. “Everything you’ve ever wanted. Just say the word.”
“You can’t be serious,” she smiled, her head still swaying incredulously from left to right.
“Of course I’m serious,” he grinned. “I want to make all of your dreams come true.”
“And what if my dreams involve...” she hesitated, trying to think of something suitably extravagant. “A private jet or a luxury yacht.”
Reece’s eyebrows shot upwards, “Well,” he hedged, cocking his head to one side. “There might be something we can work out,” he suggested, smiling mischievously and wiggling his brows. “But those aren’t really the kind of things you’ve always dreamed of, are they?” he added, eyeing her warily.
With a lazy half-smile, Allie shook her head.
“Hmm,” he nodded. “So, come on. There must be a whole bunch of things you’ve always wanted to do. Disney World?” he asked, grinning.
Allie pulled a face at the suggestion, which turned his smile into a full-blown laugh.
“Then, what?” he sighed, exasperated.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged.
“When you were a little girl, what did you want most in the world?” he probed, his voice still excitably trying to coax the same enthusiasm for the subject out of her.
“A Pulitzer,” she said in all seriousness.
“Okay,” he conceded, his smile fading slightly. “Well, if you could wish for something now, what would it be?”
“I’d wish that I wasn’t dying,” she replied somberly.
Reece’s face fell, and his hands flopped uselessly by his sides as he realized it really was that simple. There was only one thing that Allie wanted and it was the only thing he could not give her. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, dipping his eyes to the floor while he wandered around to her side of the bed. Perching his butt on the mattress, he turned to her. “You know, if there was anything I could do,” he said. “I would give anything,” he added, stressing the final word.
“I know,” she quickly replied
, trying to brush away the melancholic atmosphere that had descended between them with a dismissive flick of her hand. “I’m sorry for bringing it up,” she apologized, shaking her head.
“Don’t be,” he insisted. “I just...” he began, before sighing frustratedly. “I want to do something for you.”
“You are doing something for me,” she smiled, reaching forward and resting her hand on his denim-clad thigh. “You’re here.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, mirroring her expression as he slipped his fingers over hers. “But there has to be something more,” he urged, desperately.
Allie recognized the look in his eyes. Reece could never sit back when someone was in trouble. No matter who they were, Reece would always want to help. In high school, there had never been an occasion when Reece had stood by when someone was being bullied. If anyone needed a lift, he’d offer, regardless of how far away that student lived. He was, as Allie had branded him at the time, a chronic do-gooder. She recognized, of course, that there was an element of that in her, too. Her drive to become a journalist was based on more than just a love of writing; it was a desire to expose wrongs and fix them. However, she would never admit to him that she shared his inexplicable desire to put the world to rights. Instead, she used to gently tease him about his ‘boy scout’ nature. Truth be told, she would never have wanted him any different.
Shaking herself from memories of their youth, she fixed her eyes on his. “This is something neither of us can mend,” she told him softly. “But you have to believe me when I say that your being with me means more than I can ever tell you.”
He pursed his lips, considering that for a moment, before finally accepting her statement with a nod. “All right,” he sighed. “You will let me know, though,” he added, gripping her fingers more tightly. “If there’s anything, ever...”
Grinning, Allie nodded. “I promise,” she assured him.
“Okay,” he said, this time visibly relaxing. As his shoulders slumped from their tense posture, he allowed himself a smile. “So, umm,” he hesitated. “What are you doing about work? Does your editor know?”
“No,” she responded, leaning back and resting her head against the cool, wallpapered wall. “I haven’t told him, and I haven’t been into work for almost four weeks now.”
“Are you going to...” he stopped, not feeling it necessary to complete the question.
“I think Needham’s tried to call a couple of times,” she told him. “I’ve dodged him. I just didn’t want to talk about it, you know?” she added, rhetorically. “And I certainly didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me.” With a shrug, she tried to suggest that her job no longer mattered. “I figure he’s probably replaced me by now.”
“Don’t you think-”
Whatever Reece had been about to say was abruptly cut off by Allie’s sharp, “Don’t start. I don’t need mothering.”
“I know,” he quickly offered. “It’s just that...”
“Look,” she sighed. “It doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, I might as well live my last months as a lady of leisure, right?”
Reece watched her smile and noted that it didn’t quite reach her eyes. However, he decided to proceed carefully, not wanting to anger her over the subject. “That sounds nice,” he admitted, flashing her a false smile of his own. “Are you going to be okay for money, though?”
She chuckled, her eyes moving to the bedclothes. “I haven’t taken a vacation in six years,” she told him. “I live easily within my means,” she added gesturing to her small bedroom and the modest apartment that existed beyond the door. “I’ve got some cash saved,” she concluded.
“Yeah, but-” This time Reece stopped himself from continuing. “I was just going to say, if you ever needed any help, you only have to let me know.”
“That’s sweet of you,” she replied. “But I should be fine.”
“So,” he breathed, determined to move off the topic, but unsure what to discuss instead. “If you’re not going to be going to work, what do you want to do with the time we’ve got together?” he asked, releasing his hold on her fingers and gently rising from the bed. “There’s got to be somewhere you want to go,” he added. “Paris? London? Rome?”
Allie contemplated the offer for a minute, wondering whether there was a place she’d wanted to see. However, it quickly occurred to her that what mattered was not where she was but who she was with. Silently, she lifted her right hand and crooked her index finger at him in a ‘come here’ motion.
Reece responded by bending at the waist and leaning his upper body toward her face, as though he expected her to whisper something. However, Allie rapidly grasped his shirt front and pulled him closer, until she could feel his breath on her skin. His eyes widened and his jaw fell slack, the surprise of the sudden force of her motion catching him off guard.
“I just want to be somewhere with a bed,” she whispered suggestively. “And I’ve got one of those right here.”
He grinned down at her, as he slipped his hands onto the mattress either side of her thighs. “You’ll soon get bored lying here,” he informed her. “I know you, remember? You’re not the kind of person who can sit still for more than five minutes at a time.”
“I’ve turned an emotional corner,” she told him tartly. “Besides, I trust you to make sure I don’t get bored in here.” As she spoke, her face drifted forward, until their lips were just barely touching as they moved.
He closed the gap, gently caressing her mouth with his, while his eyelids drifted closed. “Hmm,” he groaned in protest, as she began to pull away.
“Still think I’ll get bored?” she asked, rising a challenging eyebrow at him.
“Well,” he grinned. “I’ll err...certainly try to keep you entertained.”
“You’d better,” she demanded, yanking him forward and causing him to lose his balance. He landed on the bed, half on top of Allie and half on the mattress. Both of them giggled like teenagers, as they fumbled with zippers and buttons.
Chapter Two
Love In The Shower
Over the next four days, neither Reece nor Allie left the apartment. The fact that Reece only had the one set of clothes he arrived in didn’t matter, because both of them spent almost every minute of the day naked. They made love over and over again, never seeming to tire of each other. In fact, neither could get enough. Both would nap for thirty minutes or an hour at a time, before starting all over again. Allie joked that they were like horny high school kids again.
“We were never this bad when we were horny high school kids,” Reece quipped in return, as he climbed into the bathtub and pulled the shower curtain closed behind him. “I don’t know what it is,” he said thoughtfully, as he grasped Allie’s soft, wet hips and pulled her back to his chest. “I just can’t keep my hands off you,” he chuckled, drawing an arm around her waist and dropping his chin to her shoulder.
Allie laughed throatily, as she leaned back and felt herself melt into him. “Well, I know the feeling,” she giggled, reaching both arms behind her and grasping his firm buttocks.
Reece instinctively flinched, bumping his hips against her ass as she squeezed his cheeks. “Hey!” he laughed, tightening his grasp on her.
“Have you been keeping count?” she asked suddenly.
“Count of what?” his confused voice replied, his lips brushing her earlobe as he spoke.
“The number of times we’ve made love over the last few days?” she explained.
“Oh,” he breathed. “Umm,” he added thoughtfully. “No,” he eventually concluded. “I think I lost track sometime Sunday afternoon. Do you know?”
“No,” she responded, her eyes drifting closed as she flopped her head back onto his right shoulder. “But I know that I could stay like this forever.”
“Me too,” he echoed her thought quietly, his head moving with hers. His jaw remained pressed against her cheek.
Allie’s fingers fell away from his butt, the awkward stretch of her arms becoming
uncomfortable. With a contented sigh, she placed her hand over the one Reece held at her belly. She laced her fingers through his, leaving only his thumb free to trace lazy patterns on her skin. She was acutely aware of the fact that they’d both been using sex as a means to avoid the reality of the situation. It was all too easy to block out the world; to shut out any sense of time passing and just enjoy each other. Allie hoped, naively, that they’d be able to continue to do so. However, her more rational side knew that the facade was on the verge of having run its course.
“What are you thinking about?” Reece asked, after several seconds of contemplative silence had passed.
Lifting his hand from her stomach, she eased herself away from his grasp so she could turn to face him. “I’m just wondering,” she mumbled, using both hands to scoop her damp hair away from her face, “whether you’ve got any more in ya,” she added with a teasing grin.
Reece exhaled an audible ‘ha’, before shaking his head slowly. “I don’t know,” he admitted with a self-deprecating shrug. “I mean, we’re in very uncharted territory here.”
“Really?” Allie replied, grinning self-satisfactorily. “You’ve never had a marathon sex session before?”
“Not like this,” he replied, with a tilt of his head. “I’ve never known anyone as insatiable as you.”
Allie giggled, as she slid her hand between their bodies and gently wrapped her fingers around his relaxed shaft. “Insatiable, huh?” she mumbled, slowly drawing her fingers back and forth.
Reece’s eyes blurred and flickered, as he enjoyed the familiar pleasure of her hand on him. However, there was no tightening in his belly or warmth in his groin to suggest that his penis was responding in the usual way. “What would you call it?” he asked, quietly responding to her muttered question with one of his own.