by James, Clara
Unmoving, Allie remained silent. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, which made it even more difficult for her to get her head around his sudden conviction to leave. If he felt the way she felt, why was he determined to go back to his place without her.
“Allie,” he coaxed softly, “come on.”
Nibbling on her lower lip, Allie nodded. “Okay,” she offered, her voice cracking slightly. “If you want to go; go ahead.”
“It’s not like that,” he groaned. “I need something to wear, that’s all.”
“Uh huh,” Allie skeptically responded.
Reece heard the doubt in her tone, but didn’t have the strength or inclination to question her further. Instead, he turned for the door and resumed his attempt to open it. “Listen, I’ll be back in an hour or so,” he told her. “We can talk about this then, all right?”
“Sure,” Allie agreed halfheartedly.
“I don’t know what’s going through your mind,” he added, as he pulled the door open and placed one foot across the threshold. “But you’re wrong.”
“You can’t say that if you don’t know what I’m thinking,” she responded, following him to the doorway. She didn’t try to stop him, she just watched him leave, standing with her arms folded beneath her breasts.
“I can tell by the look on your face that you’re thinking something bad,” he informed her. “This is me we’re talking about,” he added. “You know me.” With that, he closed the door quietly behind him.
“I did know you,” Allie muttered to herself.
She’d known him when he was in his late teens and stayed in touch into his early twenties. Beyond that, she wasn’t aware of anything he’d done or been. He’d seemed the same to her: charming, funny, incredibly handsome and seemingly perfect. And yet, what did she really know about him? How much time had they spent talking about him; what he’d been doing in the ten years they hadn’t seen or heard from each other? The answer, Allie quickly realized, was that they hadn’t.
At no point had they spoken about his life. Mostly, they’d talked about nonsense; occasionally they reminisced about old times; and even more infrequently, he’d asked her about her career. Never had he mentioned his life; not his job, his friends, girlfriends, places he’d been, people he’d met – not one word had been spoken on those topics.
Allie hadn’t given any of these things a second’s thought. Her brain had been too fogged with sexual pleasure and the desire for more of it to realize that they hadn’t discussed anything of importance. Now, she wondered whether Reece had deliberately not spoken of his life, because he had something to hide. Her assertion that he had a wife had been a joke, but after some thought, she noted that it wasn’t such a ridiculous supposition at all. Maybe he was married, at the very least he may have a girlfriend. After all, he was an incredibly good-looking guy, it was highly likely that he was in a relationship.
“Oh, God,” Allie muttered, moving numbly back to the couch and dropping into the corner of it. “Oh, shit,” she whispered. Surely, she told herself, that was the only explanation. He didn’t want her to go with him, because his wife or some live-in-lover would be there. Although how he’d managed to explain away his absence for several days, she couldn’t account for. “No,” she breathed, shaking her head. This was Reece; she may not have seen him for the better part of ten years, but people don’t change that fundamentally, do they?
There was a time when Allie would have sworn that there were no circumstances under which Reece would be unfaithful. He was a man of strong principles, he was moral and respectful. Allie wondered whether those core values could be changed over time. The only answer she could reach was: possibly. It wouldn’t be the first time that a person had acted in a way that seemed contrary to their convictions.
She still coudln’t quite bring herself to believe that Reece would intentionally cheat, but her imagination was starting to build scenarios that could account for the present situation. Maybe he and his girlfriend, or wife, split up just before Allie came back into the picture. It was quite possible that said wife or girlfriend then patched things up with Reece when Allie ended their brief fling. However, by then, knowing the truth about her condition, Reece felt guilty and wanted to be there for Allie during her last weeks and months. Not wanting to lose his girlfriend/wife, he decided to temporarily have an affair, keeping both women a secret from the other.
This all seemed perfectly plausible to Allie, who brought her feet up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her legs. Staring blankly toward the window in front of her, her eyes gravitated toward the amber glow of the streetlight. Mournfully, she released a slow, decidedly shaky breath. “Too good to be true,” she mumbled. “Always too good to be true.” She was talking about the last few days, which had seemed so wonderful. And she was talking about the man she’s constantly put on a pedestal; the guy she was sure was so different from other men. However, Reece was just a man. He wasn’t the perfect, flawless character she’d held in her mind’s eye.
The only question that remained was what she would do next. The damage was done, so did it matter if she continued the affair until she succumbed to cancer? The nameless, faceless woman Reece would go back to need never know the truth. Shaking her head, Allie decided it was not a decision she could make in that moment. Slipping forwards, she replaced her feet on the floor and gradually straightened. Suddenly, she felt as though she needed to take another shower.
Chapter Four
Strange Visit
She was pulling a sweater over her head when she heard three sharp taps at the door. Her hair still wet, and wearing only a pair of panties on her lower half, she yanked the overly large Berkeley sweater down. It didn’t quite reach her mid-thigh, but covered enough to be decent. As she was leaving the bedroom, she grasped a hair band from her dresser. Walking through the apartment, she scooped her damp hair back and placed it in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck. A few strands at the sides refused to stay and crept forward across her face, which she swiped at, as she reached for the door.
“Got back sooner than-” her words came to a sudden halt, when her eyes settled on a man who looked very different from the one she expected. “Patrick,” she breathed, her gaze moving up and down the middle-aged man’s body.
He was wearing dark pants and a white dress shirt. He also had a bow tie that was hanging loose either side of his neck. His dark, graying hair was slicked back with lots of gel and swept to the right with a clearly defined side parting. “Hey, Allie,” he said smiling.
“Umm,” she babbled. “What are you doing here?” she asked quickly, flicking her eyes self-consciously at her own state of dress.
He noticed the direction of her focus and his followed. When she met his face again, he was grinning as he appreciatively took in her long, slender legs. “I was at some stupid dinner,” he said, his eyes unable to meet hers. “And I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Me,” she murmured a flush coming to her face under the weight of his hungry stare. “I...umm,” she stammered.
“I know it’s been a couple of weeks,” he chuckled, his voice deep, “but don’t tell me you forgot about that night we spent together.”
“No,” Allie quickly assured him. “I haven’t forgotten. It’s just that, we had an agreement that it was only going to be a one-night thing, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, resting one hand on the door frame and leaning his upper body through the gap. “But that was too good to only do once, don’t you think?”
Mentally, Allie was correcting him. It was fine, but it wasn’t by far the best sex she’d ever had. However, those words stayed in her head and were never voiced. “How did you know where I live?” she asked instead, realizing that she’d never given him her address.
“I have my ways,” he grinned. “So, are you going to let me in or what?” he added. “Looks like you were expecting me.”
Once again, Allie’s eyes flicked down to her body. Her bro
w creased as she noted that it obviously didn’t take much to impress Patrick: just step out of the shower, wear an old college sweater and you’re good to go. “Patrick,” she said, a nervous smile twitching at her lips. “My situation has changed since we had our date.”
He scoffed loudly, the noise coming out as a half snort. “Oh, come on, Allie,” he muttered, pushing himself away from the door frame and walking uninvited into the apartment.
Allie stood in the opening, but was brushed aside by his tall frame. “Patrick,” she sighed, holding the door open wide in the hope that he would take the hint and walk back through it. “I’m serious, I can’t talk about this right now.” She wrenched her head over her shoulder, watching him stride into the middle of the room, before spinning on his heels to face her.
“I don’t want to talk,” he told her bluntly. “All I want is to get inside you again.”
“Well, that’s not going to happen,” she quickly replied, gesturing to the door. “Now, please leave.”
“Allie, I know you,” he said, his voice dark and serious. “You’re not going to tell me that you’re suddenly settled in a monogamous relationship. We’re two of a kind; we can’t live like that.”
Exhaling, and leaving the door, Allie walked toward him. “I told you, things have changed. I’m not looking for no strings sex, okay?” she snapped sharply. “It was a mistake in the first place.”
“Oh no,” he crooned, shaking his head. “That was no mistake, Allie.” Lifting his hand, he tried to cup her cheek, but Allie quickly dodged to one side avoiding him.
“I don’t know how I can make this any clearer,” she stated, “but I’m not interested.”
“I hear what you’re saying,” he countered, following her as she tried to keep out of arm’s reach. “But I also saw the look in your eyes when I made you come. You want that again, don’t you, baby?”
Constantly moving and weaving, Allie was beginning to wander in backward circles around the living room. In other circumstances, she was sure the sight would seem comical; the two of them circling each other like boxers in a ring. “First of all, don’t call me baby,” she uttered sharply. “And second, I told you at the time, that night was just that: one night.”
“You didn’t mean that, though,” he stated, stilling his feet when he realized their movement was proving fruitless. “Women never mean it when they say all they want is one night.”
Her face tipping up to the ceiling, Allie released a growl of frustration. “Patrick,” she sighed. “I don’t know whether you’re drunk or high on something, but you don’t seem capable of understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth.”
“I want you,” he said, hurriedly lunging forwards. He caught Allie off guard, flinging her back to the wall just to the right of the large window.
She screeched in surprise, her hands instinctively covering his and trying to prize him away from her. However, his grasp was too strong. Once he had her pressed against the wall, he used his body to keep her there. His fingers clasped her wrists and yanked her hands over her head. “Get the hell off me,” she demanded, her bare feet flicking out and striking his shins. With no shoes, she couldn’t inflict much damage and Patrick seemed unaffected. “Patrick,” she screamed.
“Shhh,” he urged, scooping her hands into one of his large ones.
A sudden voice told Allie to stop struggling. She’s taken self-defense classes in college, but hadn’t kept them up and had never really had a call to use them. It seemed everything she’d learned had abandoned her in panic. However, with a flash of clarity, she recalled the golden rule. Conserving her strength, she ceased the movement of her limbs and became very still.
Patrick reacted in turn, loosening his grip and taking her passivity as a sign that she’d come around to his way of thinking. “I knew you wanted it too,” he muttered, his eyes fixed on hers.
With an expressionless face, Allie shuffled her left leg. Patrick predictably moved too, placing his legs either side of her right thigh. As soon as she felt him move, Allie lifted her right knee sharply. It connected with his groin, and with a howl of pain, he instantly released his grip on her wrists. Both of her hands drifted down to his shoulders and she shoved him backward.
Patrick staggered several paces, the fingers of both hands clutching his genitals, as he cursed. “You fucking bitch,” he spat.
Allie reached the door and flung it wide, causing the knob to bang loudly on the wall behind it. “Now get out,” she yelled.
Standing upright with some difficulty, Patrick stared hard at her. “You think I’m just going to walk away?” he asked. “Oh, no,” he insisted. “You’re going to pay for that you little slut.”
Thinking quickly, Allie’s eyes moved to the open doorway and she began to walk back across the threshold. If he wasn’t prepared to leave, all she had to do was run to a neighbor’s apartment. She felt sure that as soon as she started banging on a door, he’d make a run for it. But, as she took one step and then another, she was surprised when she bumped straight into something or more precisely someone. Before Allie had a chance to turn around, she noticed the smug, smirk on Patrick’s face slip and morph into something that resembled fear.
“Are you okay?” a warm voice just above her shoulder asked.
“Reece,” she replied, breathlessly. For a moment, she worried what the scene before him must look like. However, his eyes were fixed firmly on Patrick and it was difficult for her to tell what conclusions he was making. “Patrick was just leaving,” she gabbled gesturing to the older man.
Silently, Reece nodded. Allie noticed, as he moved aside, placing his hands on her shoulders and coaxing her out of Patrick’s path, then he puffed his chest out defensively and kept her close to him.
Finally taking the hint, Patrick moved forward. His gaze shifted from Allie to Reece and he too seemed to be trying to weigh the situation. “Yeah,” he muttered, as he entered the hallway, “I was just leaving.” He stuffed his hands into his pocket and lingered just long enough to quip. “It was nice seeing you again Allie.”
Reece’s hand slipped from Allie’s upper arms and he eventually eased back. But still he watched Patrick, until he’d turned the corner and was no longer in sight. “You want to talk about that?” he asked quietly, stepping around her and stooping to pick up a bag he’d dropped beside the door.
Allie released a steady breath. She was trembling violently with the adrenaline that was racing through her bloodstream. “What do you mean?” she asked, noting that he was not looking at her as he swept up his bag and tossed it inside the apartment.
“Well,” he sighed, entering the living room and keeping his back to her. “Either you want to talk about it or you don’t,” he said, his tone clipped.
Following him into the apartment, Allie gripped the door in her right hand and pushed it closed. With a clunk of the lock, she leaned back against the solid wood. “You mean like you didn’t want to talk about whatever it is you’re hiding from me?” she suggested.
Reece inhaled sharply, before releasing the breath through his open mouth. Allie could tell that much just from observing his back. Eventually, he turned to face her. His dazzling blue eyes meeting her deep brown ones. “Look,” he said. “I heard you shouting and then when I got to the apartment, you could have cut the tension with a knife. Are you just going to tell me that nothing’s going on?”
“What do you think was going on?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “because you won’t tell me.”
“Hmm,” she nodded. “So, what do you want to know?” she offered, the rush of adrenaline making her slightly more abrasive than she meant to appear.
“Are you all right?” Reece asked simply.
“Yes,” she replied, curtly.
“And clearly you don’t want to talk about it,” he added for her. “So, that’s all I need to know.”
“Good,” she stated, pushing herself away from the door.
The truth was Reece
didn’t quite know what to make of the situation. He’d initially figured that Allie was in trouble. However, her unwillingness to discuss it, coupled with the fact that she seemed perfectly civil to the guy who left, made him wonder if he’d read the scene wrong. She’d made no secret of the fact that she’d seen a number of men in the previous weeks, and although that bothered him, he understood her craving for the things she felt she’d missed out on. Of course, he didn’t entirely agree with the notion himself, but he’d accepted that it was her choice.
It didn’t take a genius, therefore, to work out that the guy in her apartment was one of the men she’d been involved with during that time, or maybe one who wanted to be involved with her. Was she regretting her choice to be with him in the last few months of her life? Was she still harboring a desire for casual sex with men she’d turned down in the past? Those were question he didn’t dare ask her, because he was frightened of the answer.
Meanwhile, Allie was still staring at him, as though she was waiting for something. She noticed in the hallway that he smelled clean; he’d obviously taken a shower while back at his home. He was also wearing clean clothes: a plain black T-shirt with light blue jeans and a pair of Nike running shoes.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Like what?” she replied, jerking one shoulder dismissively.
“Like you’re mad at me,” he responded.
“Just wondering where you’ve been,” she offered calmly.
“Home,” he stated, pointing at the bag behind her. “I told you I wouldn’t be long. You’re not seriously still upset about that are you?”
Allie opened her mouth to say, ‘yes’, but something stopped her. How would it end? If she started a fight with him now, where would it lead? There was only one possibility, they’d argue, he’d leave, and then he’d spend the next few months making awkward calls to make sure she was okay, until she wasn’t okay any more. “No,” she quietly said, her lips barely moving. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she told him. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she added, the words spoken more to herself than to him.