I looked at my wrist again. I could still remember the blade and how it felt against my skin before running it across. The bright red blood. The screams from my cousin, Chloe who’d been sent upstairs to check on me. The ride to the hospital. The stitches. Apparently, I’d cut myself the wrong way and had been very lucky. At the time, that’s not how would have described it.
Things were different now. I was starting to come to terms with everything. As crazy as it sounded, it even helped that my grandmother brought me to see a medium who’d given me a “message” from the other side.
“Your parents want you to stop feeling guilty,” the older woman had told me. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t even the semi driver’s fault. It was a freak accident.”
I’d thought that maybe the old gypsy woman, Sylvia-something, had found out about the accident and was telling me what I’d wanted to hear. But then, she mentioned something that nobody should have known. Not even my mother. I’d never told a soul about it.
“I’m supposed to tell you that your mom knows you borrowed her earrings without asking… and lost them. She doesn’t care. You’re worth more than material things. You mean the world to her. She wants you to let it go. Your guilt.”
When I was fourteen, I’d taken a pair of black, diamond studs and had meant to give them back. I’d worn them at the Homecoming game, the first one I’d ever been to. When I returned home that night, I’d found one missing from my ear. I’d been too frightened to tell her about it, knowing they’d been a gift and probably very expensive. Looking back, it would have been better to tell her and deal with getting yelled at then spending so much time feeling guilty and ashamed.
“We all make mistakes. It’s what we do. As long as we learn from them and make the right choices in the future. She knows that it’s been eating you up inside. She wants you to quit being so hard on yourself,” Sylvia said. “Your parents are with you quite a bit. They want you to know that. They love you very much and want you to be kind to yourself.”
The entire experience changed me. Although I still missed them terribly, knowing that they were still around and watching over me, had been comforting. I’d even stopped seeing my therapist, who’d thought I was making a mistake. But, I was finally at peace with them dying, even though I still missed them every day.
My stomach growled and I decided to go downstairs to grab something else to eat until Grandma Rae returned home. As I was digging through the refrigerator, my cell phone buzzed. It was a message from Kara.
Sara and Maya said they could join us. See you at 8:30 she’d typed.
Okay, cool. See you then, I typed back.
9
Chase
I dropped Sonny off and went home to eat and shower before meeting up with the guys. When I got there, the cleaning woman was just finishing up in the kitchen. Normally, she would have been long gone, but last night, we’d left one hell of a mess. I felt like an asshole, leaving it all for her.
“Hey, June. What’s up?” I tossed my keys onto the counter and went over to the refrigerator.
The housekeeper turned off the sink. “Not much. How was school?”
“Same old shit. Sorry about the mess. The guys were over last night and I forgot to clean up.”
She shrugged. “I’m paid by the hour, so you won’t hear me complaining. Now, your dad, he might feel differently.”
I grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and a box of leftover pizza. “Yeah. Good thing he isn’t home.”
“Good thing,” a voice muttered behind me.
Fuck.
I glanced over my shoulder at my old man, who was dressed in sweats and a T-shirt. Apparently, he’d been home long enough to change out of his suit.
Tensing up, I closed the refrigerator and walked over to the counter with the food. “You’re back early.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Not early enough, apparently.”
I opened up the box of pizza and licked my finger. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play stupid with me,” he snapped. “I saw the beer cans. I know you boys were drinking last night.”
“Those were Casey’s cans,” I lied, although technically… he had bought the beer for us.
“Who the hell is Casey?”
“Sonny’s older brother. He stopped over with him yesterday.”
From the look on his face, he didn’t believe me. “Is that so? Maybe I should call him up and tell him to get his ass over here and take care of his mess.”
“June already cleaned it up,” I replied. “I’ll talk to him though. It won’t happen again.”
He turned toward the housekeeper. “Could I get a moment alone with my son?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll go check on the laundry.” She gave me a sympathetic look and then slipped out of the kitchen.
My father approached me, his face tight. “What did I tell you about drinking?”
There was only one person who intimidated me and it wasn’t just because he was my dad. The guy was a couple of inches taller than my six-two frame and often mistaken for John Cena. He was an obsessive body-builder and I sometimes wondered if he was secretly taking steroids because of his mood swings.
“I told you it wasn’t-”
He shoved me backward. “Quit fucking lying to me. You think I’m an idiot?”
I knew when to shut my mouth and as much as I wanted to shove him back, I dug my fingernails into my palms.
“Why?”
“I want them. You’re grounded.”
My jaw dropped. “What? I have plans tonight.”
“Not anymore.”
“That’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair is that I have to deal with this shit. Hand them over.”
“I bought the car.”
He laughed coldly. “You bought… who the hell do you think you’re talking to, you little prick?” he hollered, shoving me again. “I’m the one who puts a roof over your head and food on the table. I don’t give a shit if you bought the car. I bought everything else so you could purchase the damn thing. I don’t care whose name is on the title, you’re still grounded from using it. Now, give me the keys.”
Frustrated and angry, I grabbed the keys from the counter, which he’d missed, and was about to walk out the door, when he grabbed my forearm. He pulled me around to face him.
“Don’t you ever walk away when I’m talking to you!”
I gritted my teeth. “Let me go or I’ll…”
His eyes bore into mine. “Or what?” He grabbed me by the collar. “Take me on? Is that what you’re going to do, hot shot?”
I didn’t reply.
“You know what I think? I think you need a refresher course in respecting your elders. I’ve given you too much independence… turned you into a spoiled, arrogant, punk who’s gotten too big for his britches.”
“I didn’t do anything. You’re overreacting.”
He laughed coldly. “Overreacting? Boy, if I would have spoken to my old man the way you’re talking to me… I’d be in a world of pain right now. You know… maybe that’s the problem? I’ve been too soft on you.”
I glared at him. He’d never been soft on me. Not when he was home, which wasn’t much. I sometimes felt like he hated me. My own father.
There was a cold silence between us as we stared at each other. He finally broke it. “Give me your keys.”
“No.”
“Wrong answer.”
10
Mackenzie
Of course my grandmother wanted a play-by-play of my entire day at school after she arrived home from work.
I removed the cover from my Chipotle rice bowl, grateful the small town actually had decent food. ”It was okay.”
“Okay? That’s all you’re giving me?”
I picked up my fork and began mixing my food. “What do you want to know? It was just the usual boring stuff.”
“It couldn’t have been too ‘boring’ if you’ve made friends
already.”
I shrugged.
She smiled and shook her head. “Teenagers. Trying to get any information out of you is like pulling teeth.”
“There’s nothing to tell. It was my first day.”
She set a glass of water down next to me and sat down in front of her burrito. “I suppose. By the way, I didn’t get beans. Like you said.”
“I see that. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You know, beans are good for you. Lots of fiber.”
“I like beans. Just not in my rice bowl.” I watched her unwrap her burrito, the first one she’d ever had from Chipotle and laughed at her expression.
“I can’t believe the size of this thing. I’ll be on the toilet all night.”
“I take it you ordered beans?”
“The Pintos.” She winked. “It’s probably good you’re not going to be around this evening.”
I chuckled.
“What time were you leaving?”
“Kara is picking me up at 8:30,” I reminded her.
“Okay. So, still no idea of what you’re going to be doing?”
“I think we’re just going to hang out.”
She smirked. “Hang out. Your mom used to give me that same answer. The one that really means, mind your own business.”
I laughed. “I would never say that to you.”
“Most teenagers wouldn’t. That’s why they use the secret code. So they don’t get in trouble before they go looking for it.”
“I’m pretty sure we’re not looking for trouble.”
She smiled. “I’m just giving you grief.”
“I know.”
We ate silently for a few minutes and then she asked if I needed any money.
“I have twenty dollars.”
“Okay, if you want more. Let me know. Hanging out can sometimes be expensive,” she said.
I smiled. “Speaking of money, I was thinking that I should try and find a job in town.”
“You don’t want to help me at the bait store?”
“I do but… it closes early and winter isn’t far away. You probably won’t need my help as much then.”
“You could help me with the taxidermy.”
The idea made me shudder. “Hell, no. Sorry, but it’s not my thing.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s certainly not for everyone.” She glanced out the window, toward the lake. “I suppose it might be a good idea for you to find something else. You’ll meet more people, too.”
“Yes and I’d like to make enough money to buy a car. Especially if I’m going away to college next fall.”
“Where are you thinking of applying?”
We talked college while we finished our meals. The truth was that I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do with my life at that point. I loved animals and had often thought about getting into veterinary medicine. I still wasn’t one-hundred-percent sold on it, however.
“Did Amy move out yet?” I asked. She’d been renting the apartment above the taxidermy shop and my grandmother had mentioned something about her moving to San Diego with her boyfriend.
“Yes, actually. She left yesterday.”
“Are you going to rent out the studio again?”
She nodded. “I haven’t gotten around to placing another ad yet, though. I should probably do it in the morning.”
“Are you going to put it online?”
She waved her hand. “Heaven’s, no. I’ll put one in the paper. The last time I placed an online ad, I had all kinds of weirdos sending me messages. I even received a dick pic. Lord have mercy, I’d almost forgotten what they looked like,” she said, chuckling.
I spit out my Diet Coke. “You… what?”
She patted me on the back. “Careful, dear. Are you okay?”
I cleared my throat. “I’m fine. Did I seriously hear you correctly?”
Grandma Rae smiled grimly. “Yes. See, I was advertising some of my homemade strawberry rhubarb jelly. Barbara Jean gave me the idea. She said that people would drive for miles to purchase it. Anyway, one guy sent me a message asking if I knew the difference between ‘jam’ and ‘jelly’. I replied that I did and explained why they were different. He answered me back with a picture of his penis and a message that said – ‘I can’t jelly my cock into your throat but I know I can jam it in there.”
My jaw dropped. I wasn’t sure which surprised me more – hearing my grandmother say the word “cock” or the fact that she’d received such an offensive email.
“Honestly, from what I could tell, there wasn’t much to jam.” She held up her pinky and looked at me. “I guess the joke was really on him.”
We both laughed.
After dinner, I headed upstairs and changed into a soft V-neck, gray sweater and reapplied my makeup. I added a spritz of perfume and then went back downstairs to wait for Kara to arrive.
Grandma Rae, who was now in her familiar peach colored housecoat and planted in her favorite recliner, was scrolling through television channels. She glanced over at me and smiled. “You look nice.”
“Thank you.”
My phone buzzed. Kara had arrived.
“She’s here,” I told my grandmother.
“Okay. I’ll come out and say ‘hello’.”
After Grandma Rae and Kara chatted for a few minutes, we left to pick up Sara and Maya, who lived only a mile away from each other. Once we were back on the road, Maya pulled out a small bottle from her purse.
“Guess what I took from my dad’s liquor cabinet?” she said in a singsong voice. “Vodka. Who wants a shot?”
I turned back to look at her. “Straight?”
Maya unscrewed the cap. “Yeah, or we can pick up something at the gas station. Maybe some orange juice?”
“Sounds better,” said Sara, seated next to her. “I can’t drink straight alcohol. It’s gross.”
I felt the same way. I’d had my share of alcohol at some of the parties back in Florida. The last time I’d gotten so sick, I’d sworn to never drink peach Schnapps again. But, I was both tense and anxious. I knew a little vodka would probably relax me.
“Speaking of booze, apparently, there’s going to be beer at the race,” Kara told Maya and Sara.
“Good. Then I can keep my buzz going,” Maya said. “Pull into the gas station up ahead. I’ll get us some kind of mixer.”
Kara nodded. “Okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, we were back on the road and drinking Screwdrivers from Styrofoam cups.
“Next time I’ll grab some Malibu rum and pineapple juice,” Maya told us. “It’s so good.”
I looked back at her. “Won’t your dad catch you taking all of his booze?”
She shook her head. “Nah. He’ll just assume it’s my stepbrother raiding the liquor cabinet again. Travis is such a lush.”
“A very hot one,” Kara added.
“And knows it,” Maya added.
“How old is he?” I asked, curious.
“Twenty-one.”
“Sara is right. He’s hot. I’d do him,” Kara said.
Maya snorted. “Right. Like you haven’t already.”
Kara’s eyes narrowed. She looked back at Maya in the rearview mirror. “Excuse me?”
“Oh come on. That night you stayed over, in June. I saw you sneaking out of his bedroom early in the morning. When I got up to pee,” she replied.
“I wasn’t sneaking. I told you that before. We were just talking about… stuff,” she replied. “If anything would have happened, I’d have told you.”
Maya didn’t reply.
“I’m not a slut,” muttered Kara. “I’m not just going to have random sex with someone because they’re hot. I was only joking.”
“I never said you were a slut. And,” her eyes softened, “I believe you. Seriously.”
“I should hope so,” Kara replied, still looking angry.
“Hey, did you guys hear about Darlene Thayer? She’s pregnant,” Sara said, thankfully changing the subject.
/> The other two girls gasped.
“No. Who’s the father?” Kara asked. “Zack Taylor?”
I stared out the window as they talked about the latest drama in school, grateful that I’d found some friends but still on pins and needles about tonight.
It turned out that Old Cliff Road was located on the outskirts of town, where there wasn’t a lot of traffic, especially after nine.
“Aren’t they worried about cops?” I asked, when we pulled up to the parking lot of a very crowded picnic area. Dozens of trucks and cars were parked and everyone appeared to be tailgating.
“Mattie’s dad is the sheriff. I’m sure she probably tells him whenever there’s a race and he just turns the other cheek,” Sara said.
Somehow, that didn’t surprise me.
I took in all of the cars and trucks lined up. Most looked new and expensive. I honestly hadn’t been expecting to see such flashy vehicles in such a small town. Especially with teenagers driving them.
“I didn’t know there was so much money here,” I murmured, thinking out loud.
“I overheard my mom say that Diamond Lake has more millionaires than fish,” Maya said.
“I believe it. My dad was just bitching about how the fish haven’t been biting lately,” Sara joked.
Kara found a place to park and then the four of us got out.
“Hey, you made it!” hollered a familiar voice.
Sonny.
“Oh, here we go,” murmured Kara under her breath.
I raised my eyebrow. “You’re the one who wanted to come.”
Her lip twitched. “Don’t remind me.”
Sonny, who was sitting on the tailgate of a big, black Chevy, hopped down and walked over to us with a bag of red cups. “You want some beer? We got our hands on a keg.”
“How much are you charging?” Maya asked.
Before he could reply, I heard a voice behind us.
“Who the fuck invited you?”
After Burn (High School Bully Romance) (Diamond Lake High School Book 1) Page 5