by Nora Phoenix
Dammit, he was making an unholy mess of things. First with Lars, flying off the handle when he should’ve understood how wounded the beta was by what he thought Grayson and Sven had done behind his back. And now Bray, and possibly Lucan as well.
“Why don’t you just come out and admit that you’ve replaced us?” Bray said bitterly.
“I haven’t, but…” Grayson held up a hand when Bray wanted to interrupt him. “But I admit that you have every reason to feel like that’s the case. I am sorry, Bray. I was so convinced you were jealous that I didn’t even consider there was truth to your criticism.”
They stared at each other, and it was easy for Grayson to see the emotions flash through his son’s brown eyes, the same eyes that he saw in the mirror every morning. And after seeing Jax, if he had to take a guess, that gorgeous baby boy would end up with those same eyes.
“It feels like you replaced us, or I should say replaced me, 'cause I don’t know how Lucan feels about this.”
“He seems to be more accepting of my relationship,” Grayson admitted.
“Sure, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel neglected as well. Are you even aware he's involved with someone?” Bray asked.
Grayson’s eyes widened in shock. “Lucan? Lucan is seeing someone?”
Bray let out an annoyed huff. “Yeah, this just proves my point that you really don’t know shit about what’s going on in our lives.”
As much as Grayson wanted to deny that, he couldn’t. How had he missed his son seeing someone? It had to be one of the pack, so it would have happened right under his nose, and he had missed it. Bray was right, that did speak volumes as to how little attention he had paid to anything but Lars and Sven.
“I’m sorry, Bray,” he said again. “I never meant to.”
Silence hung heavy and uncomfortable between them.
“Maybe it would’ve been different if you had been more accepting of the relationship in the first place,” Grayson said.
“Oh, so it’s my fault? Is that what you’re saying? That if I had been all happy and supportive of you seeing two boys younger than me, you wouldn’t have ignored me?”
Grayson cringed. He had meant it like that, but he had to agree it didn’t sound good. “That didn’t come out right,” he admitted. “I don’t understand why you are so dead set against them, Bray. It may not have been what you expected of me, or wanted for me, and I understand that. But I can’t help but wonder if you would have reacted the same way if I had found happiness with someone my own age, if you would've felt replaced then as well.”
“If you had ignored me like you were doing now, I sure as hell would've,” Bray said, and Grayson felt the truth in his words.
That stung, the realization that this wasn’t about Lars and Sven, about Bray’s objections to him seeing two men so much younger, but about Grayson prioritizing his new relationship over his own children. It was a hard pill to swallow, but he couldn’t deny Bray was right.
“I never meant to replace you,” he said. “I never meant to ignore the two of you. I don’t know why it happened, but it did. I need to do better.”
A little of the tension in Bray’s frame disappeared as he jammed his hands into his pockets. “I appreciate you saying that, Dad, but we both know it’s not gonna happen. Not with Sven being pregnant and you becoming a dad all over again. A few months from now, Dad, you’ll have a new baby, and he’s going to take up whatever time you have left after taking care of your boys.”
Grayson felt deeply ashamed. He had walked out here with Bray, convinced he was about to show his son some hard truths. In reality, he was the one who had to face some painful truths. God, he had failed his kids. That didn’t bode well for his role in the new baby’s life, he thought with a sobering clarity.
“It’s gonna be a challenge,” he admitted. “But I need to do better, Bray. I want to do better, can you accept that truth from me?”
After a slight hesitation, Bray nodded. “I do struggle with your relationship,” he said. “But I will try to be more accepting, okay?” Something flashed over his face, and he winced. “Kean called me out on it as well, said he was surprised I had such a struggle with this, especially since I was a club member.”
It was the first time Bray had admitted to what they both knew, that he was part of a club Grayson had visited in the past as well. Grayson wasn’t sure why his son was opening up about this now, but he valued his openness.
“I would appreciate you trying to accept this relationship, son, because it’s not going anywhere. I love them. I deeply, deeply love them, and it would mean the world to me to see my children accept this.”
Bray’s mouth pulled up in the tiniest of smiles. “If you think I’m calling either one of those brats my step-dad, you’re sorely mistaken.”
Grayson returned his smile. “Duly noted.”
Dating was weird, Kean decided. It was uncomfortable and awkward under the best of circumstances, but it was downright absurd when you lived in a pack. Two days after asking Palani for permission, everyone knew he was dating Ruari. Or he should say, they were dating each other. And that meant everyone had an opinion as well. Now, all of those opinions had been positive, so Kean wasn’t complaining about that, but most of the people who had expressed an opinion had also deemed it necessary to hand out advice. That’s where things had gotten weird fast.
It was one thing for people to tell him congratulations or something similar, though he wasn’t sure what they were congratulating him for, since he and Ruari were in the beginning stages of trying to figure things out. But when people had started handing out unsolicited advice, telling him to bring chocolate—where the hell was he supposed to get chocolate without leaving the ranch?—flowers, which were equally impossible, and gave him tips on what to do—romantic walks were mentioned a few times—Kean got mighty frustrated.
He thought dating Ruari would be a matter of hanging out, chatting, and getting to know each other better, but it seemed he had missed a few memos on the whole dating scene. That wasn’t surprising, as he was new at this, but he hadn’t expected it to be so complicated.
Still, he didn’t want to get it wrong, so when he showed up to the main house where he and Ruari had agreed to meet to spend the evening together—and wasn’t that awkward with everyone knowing about it?—he held a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. “Bouquet” was to charitable a word, but he done his best to pick some wildflowers for Ruari and he’d tied them into a nice little gift with a leftover ribbon from a birthday present.
Vieno’s eyes went big when he spotted Kean with the bouquet, and then a big smile spread across his face. “Bringing out the big guns,” he teased.
Kean shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Someone told me I had to make an effort,” he mumbled. Then he got worried. “Did I get it wrong?” he asked Vieno. “Is it too much?”
Vieno put a calming hand on his arm. “Dude, chill. Flowers are never too much. He’s in the kitchen. But I have to warn you, so is everyone else, because apparently, they all knew about this and are horribly curious to see it go down in person.”
Kean rolled his eyes. “We need to get cable or something, so these guys have something better to do,” he complained, but Vieno merely grinned.
Kean straightened his shoulders. He could do this. He only hoped Bray wouldn’t be in the kitchen, because that would be majorly awkward. For all three of them. He didn’t regret being honest about his relationship with Bray to Ruari, but after finding out he was Jax’s biological father, he couldn’t deny it had become complicated. Who would've ever thought he would find himself in a kind of love triangle? It was the stuff of those romance books Vieno loved to read so much.
When he entered the kitchen, he couldn’t hold back his smile. Vieno had been right. Pretty much everyone was there, including a flustered Ruari, who looked like he didn’t know what to do with the attention either. The one person who was conspicuously absent was Bray, and for that, Kean was grateful. He
tried to ignore everyone else as he walked up to Ruari, who rose from his chair at the kitchen table where he had been sitting.
“Hi,” Ruari said, and then he noticed the flowers Kean was holding out. “You brought me flowers?”
Any doubt Kean had had about the flowers evaporated when he saw the stunned expression on Ruari’s face. “I picked them myself,” he said proudly.
Ruari took the flowers from him, and after a second’s hesitation, leaned in, rose on his tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss on Kean’s cheek. “Thank you. They’re lovely.”
Maybe dating wasn’t so hard after all, Kean thought. That being said, they needed to get away from the group of men who were watching their every move, commenting to each other in soft whispers and with meaningful smiles.
“Do you want to go for a little walk?” he asked. “There’s a trail at the south border of the property we could follow for a bit.”
Ruari looked at him with an apologetic smile. “Sven promised to look after Jax, but he’s been super fussy tonight and refuses to fall asleep. I don’t want to leave until I’m sure he’s sleeping.”
“Why don’t you put him in the baby carrier or whatever you call it and bring him? I’m sure he’ll fall asleep when you walk,” Kean said.
“Are you sure that would be okay? I didn’t want to ruin your plans,” Ruari said, his tone still apologetic.
Kean felt a little awkward playing this out in front of everyone, but he pushed through it, reasoning this was the price he had to pay for dating and being part of a pack. It would be worth it to be with Ruari.
“Look, Jax is a crucial part of your life, so leaving him out of everything we do seems impossible to me anyway. We might as well get used to getting creative if we want to spend any time together, right?”
A chorus of “aw” erupted from the men in the kitchen, but the only approval that mattered to him was the blinding smile on Ruari’s face.
“For that,” the omega said, “there will be a reward once we have a little more privacy.”
Now that was a remark Kean didn’t mind the others overhearing at all, and he beamed as they whistled and laughed.
It took a little while for Ruari to gather all the stuff needed for Jax, but once he had the baby strapped to his chest and had packed a backpack that Kean insisted on carrying, they left. Ruari slipped his hand into Kean’s as soon as they were outside, and Kean’s heart did a happy little gallop.
They chatted about Kean’s work, the ranch, Jax, and all kinds of things as they made their way to the edge of the property, where a trail started that led to the mountains, which were fifteen miles or so away. Far too great a distance to walk, but the path was gorgeous, and since it ran through a designated wilderness area, he wasn’t expecting any people there.
The air still hung heavy, the remnants of a hot and humid day, and the weather forecast promised more of the same in the days to come. Still, Kean was happy to be outside, as always. They had a good three hours until nightfall, so he would keep an eye on his watch to make sure they got back before dark.
They were just about to leave pack land when they heard footsteps and Bray appeared.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I heard noises and wasn’t sure who it was,” the alpha said stiffly.
Kean wasn’t sure why, but his heart went out to the big man. This had to be awkward as fuck for him, if not painful.
“No problem,” he said, keeping his voice light and friendly. “We were just going for a little stroll. But I’m surprised to catch you here. Didn’t you pull a double shift yesterday as well?”
“Two of my men came down with a stomach bug,” Bray said. “Which means I’m a little short on manpower.”
“That sucks,” Kean said. “If it lasts too long, let me know. I’m not as qualified as your guys, but I can take a shift if you need me to.”
Bray looked surprised. “Thank you. That’s nice of you to offer,” he said, and it made Kean a little sad to realize they were talking to each other like strangers.
“I mean it, Bray. There’s no need for you to do it all yourself,” he added.
Bray’s expression softened. “Thanks,” he said, and his tone had changed into something that sounded like the Bray that Kean knew.
Jax let out a little cry, probably protesting that they were standing still. “He’s a little fussy tonight,” Ruari said, and it had to be for Bray’s benefit, ‘cause Kean already knew.
He realized then that Bray still hadn’t seen his son, and he was tempted to ask Ruari if he could, when the omega spoke up.
“Would you like to see him?” he asked. “He’s not at his best right now, but I thought you might like a peek?”
It was almost painful, the way Bray’s face lit up. “Thank you,” he said, and it drove home how thoroughly chastised the man must have felt about not being allowed to see his son.
He took a few careful steps closer and Ruari turned toward him, lifting the sling sideways so Bray could see Jax’s face better. He was still awake, making soft sounds of protest they were standing still.
“Can I…” Bray asked and Ruari nodded.
Bray raised a single finger and touched the baby’s cheek. On reflex, Jax’s hand reached for it, and his tiny fingers curled around the alpha’s index finger.
“He’s strong,” Bray whispered, his voice cracking.
“He is. He’ll have your eyes. They’re dark blue now, but they’ll turn brown,” Ruari said, and Kean had all these swirls in his stomach, his heart clenching painfully.
This was a tough position for the proud alpha to be in, and despite everything, Kean hoped Ruari would warm up to Bray soon and would allow him a role in his son’s life. He didn’t regret telling him about his own relationship with Bray, but if he had known Bray was Jax’s biological father, he might have worded his opinion of the alpha a little differently. He worried that it had come across as if Bray was unsuitable to be a dad, and that was not what he had meant at all. It still hurt, Bray’s easy dismissal of him because he wasn’t an omega, but he still wanted the man to have a relationship with his son.
They stood like that for minutes, Bray connecting with his son, and there was something magical about it. Jax was showing his displeasure with an increased volume, and Bray pulled back his finger, regret painted on his face.
“You’d better continue walking,” he said. “Because he likes it when you move around, right? That’s what I’ve watched you do when he’s crying,” he added.
Ruari looked at Bray as if he didn’t know what to think, which could be close to the truth. “He does like it when I keep moving,” he finally said, rocking back and forth to keep Jax happy. “Thank you.”
“No, Ruari, thank you,” Bray said, and Kean could see the relief on his face. He wasn’t entirely sure what the thank-yous had been for, but it did feel like some of the tension between the three of them had dissolved, so that was something to be grateful for, he guessed.
17
Ever since the elections, Palani had been waiting for George York to make contact. He wasn’t sure how or when, but he was certain that the prime minister would contact him at some point. Their previous meeting had been loaded with double meanings, especially in hindsight.
That’s why he wasn’t surprised when he got a phone call from the man’s scheduling secretary, asking for a private, off-the-record meeting with him. He had to admit that the second part of the request—that Lidon be present as well—did surprise him a little.
Of course, his relationship with his three men was not a secret. They had become open about it, and York had to have known even before that. After everything Palani had learned about the elections and the win of the CWP, he had no doubt that York had vetted him even before talking to him when he was still working for the newspaper. No, this man knew as much as he possibly could, which was why this meeting was a potentially dangerous situation.
“Do you think I should go?” Lidon asked when Palani told him about th
e invite.
Palani leaned back on the couch, folding his hands behind his head. “I honestly don’t know. I’m inclined to say you should, if only because I’d love to have you present there, but at the same time, I’ll admit I'm worried about why he wants you there.”
Lidon nodded thoughtfully. “Do you reckon the news about my shifting has reached him already?”
“I was wondering the same thing,” Palani said. “It’s only a matter of time before it becomes public knowledge since we haven’t closed the pack and have admitted new members. We’ve talked about this, and we both agreed it was a risk we're willing to take.”
“We made the right call there,” Lidon assured him. "Look, there was no way we were going to keep this a secret for long, so we might as well be as open about it as possible without broadcasting it. So it’s possible that York has heard about it, which is why I have to say I’m not comfortable sending you to meet with York by yourself.”
“I was planning on taking security,” Palani said.
Lidon shook his head. “That’s not what I’m worried about. Well, it is, and you should take a few of Bray’s men, but I’m more worried about you having to face the prime minister by yourself.”
Palani smiled. “You’re worried about me being able to stand up to him?”
Lidon’s reaction was swift. “Hell no and you know it, too. I don’t like you being with that man on your own. We’re a pack, we do things together. So I should come with you.”
Palani debated protesting more, then surrendered. To be honest, he liked the idea of Lidon coming with him. As much as he liked to pretend he was taken as seriously as an alpha-journalist, his beta status did play into how he was treated. Having a strong über-alpha like Lidon by his side couldn’t hurt.
“If he asks about the shifting, what do we tell him?” he wanted to know.