He eased off her and dragged his shirt over his head, showing a lean body cut with the muscles of a man accustomed to a physical life. Scars crisscrossed his flesh, and her heart tightened at the reminder of all he’d suffered. She instinctively sat up and pressed a kiss to the one over his heart, a jagged line that looked like a knife had torn his flesh apart. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
His fingers tangled in her hair, and he went still as she kissed another mark on his ribs. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “It was a long time ago.”
“Never long enough,” she said, as she kissed a scar on the front of his shoulder. “It’s always too raw,” she said. “I know it is.”
Chase felt his entire body shudder as Mira kissed each of his scars. He didn’t even think about them anymore, but having her isolate them one by one brought them all roaring back to life. But it felt different now. Instead of flashbacks of the pain and fear he felt as a kid, his muscles relaxed, releasing the tension that he’d been holding for so long. His muscles trembled as they let go, as if they didn’t even remember how to be normal.
Then, she rose to her knees, as if to go around him and see his back. He stopped her, pulling her against him. “My turn,” he said.
She smiled as he bent his head, the intoxicating smile of a woman who had stopped his world on its axis. He kissed her, this time a slow seduction. He tasted her lips with careful purposefulness, taking the time to slide his tongue across every inch of her mouth, memorizing the feel and taste of her.
He started to lower her to the bed again, and she pushed at his chest. “Boots?”
“Boots?” He nibbled his way down her neck. “What about them?” He had no idea what she was talking about. All he could focus on was her.
“I think they’re super sexy and everything, but I don’t want to be the woman who isn’t even worth taking boots off for.”
“What?” He pulled back, then grinned when he saw the twinkle in her eyes. “You know you’re completely worthy of ditching the boots.” He swung off the bed, and yanked off his cowboy boots. He didn’t waste time, sliding his jeans off as well, leaving behind only his boxer briefs.
She was propped up on her elbows, watching him, her face shadowed by the moonlight as if she were an ethereal goddess who had come to earth just to ease his pain.
“You are one fine woman,” he said as he eased onto the bed, crawling across the navy comforter until he was above her, suspending himself, not quite touching, but almost, a temptation so great his muscles were actually shaking with the effort he was exerting to restrain himself.
Mira placed her palms on his chest, a sensual, incredibly delicate touch that made his abs tighten. “Kiss me, Chase.”
“A cowboy never says no to his woman,” he said, lowering himself on top of her. This time, it was pure heat between them, the thin fabric of her top and pants no more than a tease. Her skin was hot, a sinful temptation. Her breasts were straining against her camisole, her nipples hard and ready.
“I’m not your woman,” she whispered.
Yes, you are. He didn’t say it aloud. He just kissed her, a kiss that staked his claim on the woman he’d coveted since the first time he’d seen her picture on AJ’s desk during orientation week their freshman year.
She sighed in capitulation, and wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer. Her kiss was as fervent as his, stoking the embers already burning within him. This time, when he slid his palm beneath the hem of her silky top, he moved his hand upward, sliding her top aside. Her breasts spilled free, and he pulled the shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor.
He cupped her breasts softly, stunned by the sight of them. Petite and soft, they filled his palms as if they were meant for him. “Perfection,” he whispered, as he bent his head to place a reverent kiss on each nipple.
Mira stiffened beneath him, a soft gasp slipping from her lips as he kissed her breasts. Satisfaction poured through him as he drew her nipple into his mouth and bit lightly.
“Oh, wow.” She gripped his shoulders, twisting beneath him. “I can’t believe how good that feels.”
He grinned. It felt right to have her responding to him so completely. She was entirely accessible to him, allowing herself to feel every sensation he stirred up. He wanted her to feel amazing, to drift to the heavens in ecstasy. He wanted to give her everything he had to offer.
New furor surging through him, he kissed his way down her belly to the waistband of her pants. Her skin was so soft and smooth, her muscles trembling as he moved lower. He thumbed the waistband of her pajama bottoms, and ever so slowly began to slide them downward as he kissed her.
The soft tuft of hair tickled his chin, and then he pressed a kiss to the swollen nub between her legs. Mira’s body jerked, and she let out a soft cry, and tried to pull away, even while her fingers dug into his hair, holding him right where he was.
He grinned, and wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding her still as he kissed her, sweeping his tongue across her folds. She tasted like the sweetest honey, one that was created just for him. It was intoxicating perfection, stirring up a sense of possession inside him. He wanted to claim her as his own, forever and ever, locking her down against him. His muscles were taut with need, as he continued to kiss her, intense satisfaction roaring through him as she responded to him, giving herself over to him completely. Her trust in him settled in his gut, and it felt so right. This was his woman, the one he’d been waiting for his entire life. Mine.
Her body started to tremble, and she gripped his shoulders. He took advantage, upping his assault, driving her relentlessly, tightening his grip on her hips as she bucked against him. Anticipation roared through him and he bit lightly, just enough, just right, exactly how he knew it should be. “Chase!” She gasped his name, and then her body shuddered under the sudden, ruthless, orgasm.
Red-hot desire roared through him as she came apart in his arms, and raw need pulsed at him. He needed more. He needed to be inside her, to make her his in the only way he knew how.
He ditched his underwear, and then moved up her body, kissing as he went. She opened her eyes, and smiled. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were half-lidded as she held out her arms to him. “Make love to me, Chase.”
“God, yes.” He slid his knee between her thighs, parting them.
She immediately wrapped her legs over his hips, and his heart seemed to stutter at her complete trust of him.
His cock pressed against her damp entrance, but he didn’t enter her. Instead, he took her face in his hands and kissed her, the gentlest kiss he knew how to deliver. It wasn’t a kiss of untamed lust. It was a kiss that was for her, and her alone. He didn’t have words to describe it. He didn’t know how to articulate the promise he was making, because he wasn’t even sure what it was.
He poured it all into the kiss, and she responded with equal passion, until the world seemed to vanish, and all that remained was the woman in his arms. Need coiled within him, escalating with each moment until his muscles ached and screamed for release.
He shifted his hips and slid right into her, their bodies coming together in the perfect synthesis of desire, lust, and partnership. She gasped, her legs tightening around him as he sank deeper inside her.
The feeling of being so connected with her was almost surreal. It was so incredible, as if this were the moment his entire life had been building toward. She was the one he’d been waiting for, the one who could somehow strip him of all the hell that haunted him. She was the one who could make him whole again.
He thrust again, pulling out, then driving even deeper, again and again, until he couldn’t think of anything but her. She seemed to fill his entire existence, a great flash of sunlight burning up all the crap searing into him. He needed more. He needed everything. He needed this moment. He needed her.
She gasped his name, and her body went rigid as the second orgasm flooded her. The moment she found her release, he released his ironclad control over his ow
n lust. His orgasm hit him so hard that her name tore from his throat. He bucked against her, holding her tight in his arms as he rode the wave that seemed endless and merciless, dragging him into her spell until there was nothing left but the two of them, and the fire that had marked him forever.
***
Mira awoke to a heavy weight wrapped around her, suffocating her. Her eyes snapped open, and she saw rustic wooden walls, and a masculine room she didn’t recognize. Where was she? Panic rushed through her, and she tried to sit up, but the weight tightened around her.
“It’s okay,” Chase muttered, sleepily. “Just me.”
Chase? She turned her head to see him beside her. He was on his side, facing her, his leg draped across her hips, and his arm tucked around her torso. His eyes were closed, and thick whiskers lined his jaw.
Relief rushed through her and she sank back onto the sheets. She became aware of the fact they were both naked. The heat from his body was burning through her, and the hair on his legs was prickling her thigh. She could even feel his erection pressing against her hip. Desire and awareness licked through her as she recalled the previous night. What had she done, sleeping with him like that?
Embarrassment flooded her cheeks, and she rested her arm across her eyes, half-wishing she could sink into the mattress and disappear. She didn’t even know him. Her grand plan had been to come out to Wyoming and start her own life, not fall into his arms less than five hours after arriving.
What would he think of her? He already knew she’d slept with AJ less than a month ago, and now she’d jumped him like a dog in heat? Granted, AJ had been her first in years, but still, how would he know that? Her chest tightened, and she fisted her hand in frustration. What kind of standard had she set? How could she possibly protect herself from him now? Would he want her to jump into bed with him every night? Because it would be really difficult to maintain a “business partnership” marriage if she was getting naked with him every night. Not that it would be bad, because sex with him was amazing, but she couldn’t do this.
Chase moved his hand, spreading his palm over her left breast.
She tensed, hating the way her nipple tightened at the contact. She wouldn’t have sex with him again right now. She couldn’t. She needed her space—
“Your heart is racing,” he mumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. “What’s wrong?”
Her heart was racing? That was why he’d spread his hand over her breast? To check on her, not seduce her? Tears suddenly filled her eyes, and exhaustion overwhelmed her. “Don’t be nice.”
He grunted, and shifted. Before she could react, he pulled her onto his chest, so she was looking right at him. His eyes were at half-mast, and he looked so sinfully sexy that she wanted nothing more than to scoot up his body and kiss him until he made love to her again.
He reached up, gently moving her hair off her face. He sifted through her curls, his fingers deftly untangling the knots. As sleep wore off, his eyes were becoming more alert, roaming her face carefully. “Why are you panicking?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m not panicking.”
He smiled, a half-smile that showcased the dimple in his left cheek. “Sweetheart, I make a living by knowing how to read the physical cues of my horses. I’m really good at it.” His fingers were comforting as they worked through her hair, and she couldn’t help but begin to relax. “I wake up after the best sex of my life, to find that your entire body has gone rigid, your heart is racing like a filly in flight, and you don’t even want to look at me. So, yeah, panicking. It’s my job to make that go away. It’s what I do.”
She immediately dragged her eyes off his chin and met his gaze. “The best sex of your life?”
“Hell, yeah.” His gaze was thoughtful, still roaming over her face and her hair, as if he were trying to imprint her on his memory. “This complicates things,” he said.
“I know.” She bit her lip, trying desperately not to lose herself in the magic he was weaving in her hair. “I’m not ready for this.”
His fingers stilled. “You loved AJ,” he said quietly. “Shit. Sorry. I rushed you into this.”
“Well, of course I loved him…” She saw his face become shuttered, and realized what he was thinking. “Not like that. He was my best friend, but I didn’t love him romantically.” She suddenly saw a chance to try to explain. “We’d never even kissed before a month ago. We were both so devastated by my mother’s death. It was like we were trying to hold onto her through each other. It’s weird to say, but it wasn’t sex. It was more like…survival, trying not to drown in the grief. I don’t know if that makes sense.” She felt her cheeks redden. “I don’t sleep around. AJ was the first guy I’d been with since Brian, and then you. I mean, that’s it. I—”
She stopped when he brushed a kiss over her knuckles, her belly clenching.
“Mira.”
She swallowed. “What?”
He pressed another kiss to her knuckles. “I know who you are. You don’t need to try to explain it. I’ve seen you through the eyes of a man who respected and trusted you more than anyone else on the planet. There’s no chance that I’d be judging you.”
For a moment, she started to relax, and then his words sank in, the truth behind his beautiful speech. “You know me through AJ,” she said.
“Of course. I’ve known you for more than ten years.” He brushed a tendril of hair back from her face. “You’re the one who saved him. You brought him back home to your family and you welcomed him. You never cared about his deformed foot, and you taught him to look past it.” He frowned, searching her face. “I’ve been waiting for you for ten years, Mira. I didn’t know it, until I saw you in that church two days ago.”
“Ten years?” She frowned.
He nodded. “Since the first week of college, when AJ first mentioned you. I was bitter, and I hated women. You seemed to be an exception, though, a woman worth trusting. AJ didn’t believe in anyone except you, and I soon realized you were someone I had to meet.” He grinned. “It took ten years, but at least we finally met.”
Betrayal seemed to wrap around her heart, and she bit her lip, reality finally sinking in. She now, finally, understood why he’d brought her back to Wyoming. It wasn’t simply because of AJ, which she had been able to accept. It was also because he saw her as some magical fantasy woman who would save his world. He wanted her to rescue him, the way she’d rescued AJ.
The hurt bit deep, as deeply as it had when Brian had betrayed her. Her college love had wanted her to be a fun-loving co-ed, and he’d tossed her aside when he’d realized she wasn’t always the carefree socialite she’d been in college. Now, Chase was the opposite. He saw her only as a salvation who could soothe the scars he still carried from his terrible childhood. He wanted her to save him, like he thought she’d done for AJ, like she’d tried to do for her mother.
She had nothing left to give him, nothing left to give anyone else. She wanted him, someone, anyone, to see her as she really was. She wanted someone to see that the woman who put on a brave front was terrified. She wanted someone to realize that the woman who took care of other people wanted someone to hold her up. She needed someone to realize that even though she cried, sometimes she just wanted to forget life and be a little irresponsible and fun.
“I’m not a goddess,” she said, rolling off him. “I’m just me. I get angry. I cry. I yell. I break promises. I’m not perfect, Chase. Not at all. I’ll make terrible mistakes as a mother, and I’m sure I’ll make my kid cry. I can’t save anyone. I can’t save you. I’m not this fantasy woman that you have created in your mind. I’m real, and I’m a mess.”
She sat up, grabbed the nearest item of clothing, which was his plaid, button-down shirt. She yanked it on and held it closed over her breasts.
Chase frowned as he watched Mira withdraw from him. What had just happened? He leaned over the bed and grabbed her wrist as she tried to climb out of the bed. “Mira,” he said gently, trying not to spook her any more
than she already was. “Come back here.”
She looked down at his fingers wrapped around her arm. “Please let me go.”
“What happened? What’s going on?” A rising sense of urgency pulsed through him. She was slipping through his fingers. After all these years, he’d finally found her, and he was already losing her. “Mira. Talk to me.”
She looked over at him. “For ten years, you’ve had this vision in your head about who I am. You don’t see me.”
He frowned. “Of course I see you—”
“No.” She touched his lips, silencing him. “You don’t. You had a terrible childhood, which I understand, and my heart breaks for you. You see me through the eyes of AJ, not for who I am.” She sighed, realizing the truth of the words before she even spoke them. “I see you the same way. I never would have slept with you last night or even come out here if it wasn’t for everything AJ had said about you.”
He nodded. “Yeah, of course. He connects us more deeply than we would have been able to do on our own this quickly. But that’s okay. It means we know who we really are, and we don’t have to do that stupid dance while we figure each other out.”
“That’s my point! Don’t you get it?” She pulled her wrist free of his grasp, and he reluctantly let her go. “I’m not the woman you’ve created in your head. I can’t save you. I didn’t save AJ. He saved himself, and I was just his friend.” She touched his face. “And you can’t save me, either. I have to go figure out who I am, Chase. I can’t live in the shadow of who I once was, which is who you want me to be.”
Swearing, he rolled out of bed, catching her arm as she walked toward the door. “I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself,” he said. “What are you talking about? It’s you that I made love to last night, not some figment of my imagination.”
She turned to face him, and he went cold at the resolution he saw in her eyes. “No, you didn’t. And I didn’t make love to you. I made love to a sense of safety and trust created by AJ. And I’ll be honest, all I want to do is fall into your arms right now and let you make love to me a thousand more times, until the rest of the world disappears and all that’s left is you.”
A Real Cowboy Never Says No Page 9