He could have stopped her if he’d wanted to answer.
He hadn’t, which means she knew what he would have said.
He had been planning to choose his brothers, which was exactly why she simply could not kiss him again.
Taylor was right.
She did like him, far too much.
Chapter 11
A week later, Chase was tired, sweaty, and his hip hurt like hell from being tossed from his newest horse too many times. He raked the back of his hand across his brow, reining in his mount as dust kicked up at the end of his driveway. He shaded his eyes, watching the approaching vehicle. The moment he saw his red pickup, the tension that had been caked on him all day eased from his tired muscles.
Mira was back.
She hadn’t left him.
He knew that she’d committed to staying at the ranch until the baby was born, but every day that she left in search of a job, he found himself on edge until she reappeared. Tonight, she was late, and his tension had been mounting with each passing hour of her absence.
Needing to connect with her, he reached down to unhook the corral gate, then slipped Red through the opening. He urged the horse into a lope, arriving at his front door just as Mira stopped the truck. She’d left the house while he’d been feeding the horses breakfast, and it was almost seven o’clock now. It was the fourth day in a row that she’d been gone all day, and he was getting cranky about it.
Ever since the morning when she’d announced she wasn’t going to marry him and had laid down the law of no more kissing, she’d been as elusive as a hare, sidestepping him every time he tried to talk to her about anything significant. She was cordial, but there was a distance that he didn’t like.
Yeah, he understood why she’d pulled back. He knew he’d failed the test when she’d asked him whether he would have married her over Travis’s concerns. He should have said yes, but he didn’t lie, no matter what. He had no idea what his answer would have been if she hadn’t taken control, but he knew that he liked coming in from the barn at night and seeing her curled up by the fire reading. In the short time she’d been living with him, he’d gotten used to making dinner for two people. He even enjoyed testing recipes he thought she might like. It hadn’t been so bad having a woman in his house, but the truth was, it wasn’t enough to simply have her there. He wanted her to be his.
He wanted her accessible to him like she’d been when he’d first met her at that church, when she’d jumped up and hugged him, and let every emotion she felt show on her face. He needed her to look at him as if he mattered, and he craved the freedom to touch her whenever he wanted, even if it was simply to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear when her hands were full. Cohabitation wasn’t enough, not by a long shot.
Today had been the longest day yet. She’d been gone for twelve hours, and he’d been getting worried. He’d dialed her cell phone three times to check on her, but had never pressed “Send.” He didn’t know if she would be okay with him checking up on her, and he was skittish as hell about driving her further away. All he knew was that he wanted her home, where he could keep an eye on her and make sure she was okay.
And now she was back.
He reached down from his saddle and opened her door, swinging it open with an agile move from his mount. “Hi.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face, he was so relieved to see her.
She beamed up at him, and for a split second, he was stunned by how beautiful she was. He’d never seen her smile like that before, and it was as if the sun itself had poured itself into her. “I got a job!” she announced.
He blinked. “You did?” Tension locked around his gut. Yeah, he wanted her to get her life going, but a job gave her independence from him. “What kind of job?”
“Managing O’Doul’s hardware store. Apparently Howard, who was running it, fell into a canyon after drinking too much.”
He frowned. “Howard’s a lush.”
“Yes, well, now he’s in a body cast, and they needed someone.” She jumped out of the truck, still grinning. “I know absolutely nothing about screws or types of wood, but apparently, I’m charming enough that Mick figured I might steal business from Stevens Hardware Supply, which apparently is his biggest competitor.” She looked so happy that he wanted to break out the champagne and raise a toast to her…at the same time he wanted to handcuff her to him so she couldn’t leave. “He said if I like the job, I can keep it even after Howard recovers. Apparently, this was Howard’s last chance. How about that?” Her smile widened. “Less than a week of job hunting, and I’m employed. How awesome am I?” She held her arms over her head and did a little hip-swaying dance that was ridiculous, adorable, and sexy as hell at the same time.
“Mick’s a good guy, but not easily impressed. You did good.” Chase had to give her credit. O’Doul’s was one of the better gigs in town. With three locations in the state, Mick could even afford to pay health insurance to his full-time employees. “Nice job.”
“Thank you.” She gave him a sweeping bow that made him want to reach over and haul her into his arms for the kind of kiss he’d been fantasizing about constantly ever since she’d put the brakes on their relationship.
He didn’t reach for her, though, afraid of pushing her away. Apparently oblivious to how hard his cock was and how much effort it was taking not to drag her into his arms, she reached into the back of the truck and hauled out some brown paper bags. “Do you know Eva Carter, who works at the café across the street from O’Doul’s? Well, she has an apartment over her garage, and the tenant is moving out at the first of the year. She’s so nice. She reminded me of my friend, Taylor, from back home. I’ll bet I could rent the space from her. She said she’s not going to re-rent the apartment because her current tenant is a complete scumbag and she’s tired of dealing with renters, but I bet she’d rent to me, don’t you think?”
A cold, bitter feeling settled in his gut. “That place only has a space heater. You can’t live there with a baby. Winter is brutally cold in Wyoming.”
“Oh…a space heater?” She frowned. “She didn’t mention that.” She wrinkled her nose. “Well, still, it shows me that there are some options out there, you know? Everyone is so nice in this town.” She grinned. “You have no idea what it’s like to walk down the street and have people smile at me. After all those years taking care of my mom, no one here is looking at me with this great veil of sadness, and no one sees me as the daughter of the local sheriff. It feels good to be able to start a new life without any baggage following me.”
He smiled, the tension in his gut easing at the genuine joy on her face. “There are good people in this town,” he acknowledged. Some bastards too, but he wasn’t going to bring that up. Mira made him want to stop thinking about the crap, and that felt good. He swung down off his horse to take the paper bags from her. “I’ll get these. What’s in them?”
“So, I also stopped at the grocery store. Apparently, I’m deficient in iron, so I need more red meat. Burgers tonight.” She handed him the bags, and turned to gather more.
He frowned. “Deficient in iron? What are you talking about?”
She grabbed her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and picked up one more grocery bag. “Well, I went to see Doctor Murdoch today. I hadn’t been to a doctor yet, and I wanted to set up a baseline. She’s so fantastic. Anyway, I’m a little anemic, so I need to fix that. Other than that, I’m in great health. The baby is totally fine. I don’t have to go back for a month, but I just wanted to establish a relationship with her, in case anything went wrong, you know?”
Something twisted in his gut, and all his amusement vanished. “You went to the doctor today? To check on your pregnancy?”
Her smile faded at his tone. “Was I not supposed to do that?”
“No, you should. It’s just…” Shit. Why was he so pissed that she hadn’t asked him go along with her? “If it’s my baby, then I need to go to your appointments with you.” Yeah, that was it. For appearance’s sak
e, he needed to accompany her. “I didn’t even know you were going.”
She bit her lip, and she lifted her chin in a hint of defiance that sent waves of apprehension tumbling through him. “It’s not your baby.”
Her words were like a sharp hit to his gut. Yeah, he knew it was true, but he felt like she was slipping out of his fingers, and so was the child. “If my name is on that birth certificate,” he said evenly, carefully selecting his words, “it’s my baby to the world. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I’d be there with you at every appointment. It’s how I am. In addition, I’ve committed to that baby’s well-being, and I want to be there, because I want to make sure everything is okay.”
The smile completely vanished from her face, and he saw fear flicker in her eyes. “If you can’t even let me go to an appointment by myself, how would you let me move out with the baby, then? Would you do that? If that’s not your style, then how are you going to do that?”
Shit. He felt like things were spiraling. “Irreconcilable differences,” he said. “If we can’t make it work, then that’s the way it is. But right now, you’re living with me, and we’re a happy couple. So, yeah, I need to go.”
She fell silent, and tension seemed to build between them. After a moment, she looked at him. “After my parents’ car accident, I felt like my entire world collapsed. I had nothing to lean on, and it was absolutely terrifying. I’ve had to learn to be strong, and I feel like I’m pretty good at it. But every night when I go to bed, and I lie there thinking about how I’m single and pregnant, I’m terrified. I don’t know how I’m ever going to do this on my own, Chase. If you start coming to appointments with me and acting like a devoted dad and partner, I’m going to get used to having you to lean on. Then when I’m on my own again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it. I can’t rely on you, and then suddenly not have you there. It’s too hard.”
Chase swore under his breath and set the bags down. He took her bag and set it beside his, then took her hands. They were trembling and cold, and suddenly he felt like such an ass for being pissed that she was out there in his town, building her life. “You need to understand something, Mira. I will do anything for those who I’ve committed to. For my whole life, it’s been only my brothers and AJ. And now it’s you and that baby. You’re in my circle of protection, and no matter what you do, you’ll never be outside of it. You don’t have to do this on your own, and it doesn’t make a difference whether you’re living here or not. I’m here for you and the baby, all the way through.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “It’s not the same thing, Chase.”
“What’s not the same thing?” He didn’t understand how he was failing her.
She carefully extracted her hands from his. “Having you to back me up is wonderful, but it’s different than having a partner who is there just for you, someone who is that special confidant who always puts you before anyone else. Going to the doctor’s appointments is so personal. Sharing it with you would make it feel…well…it would feel like we’re a couple, not simply that you’re a great guy who has my back. I’m not made of steel, Chase. I would love to have someone by my side, so if you play that role, it’s going to be too hard for me to remember that it’s all a lie.”
He ground his jaw. He didn’t quite grasp the difference of what she was saying. He had no experience, either as an observer or a participant, in the kind of relationship she was describing. He just knew that he wanted to be a part of this with her. “I’d like to go.” Was that better? Asking instead of demanding?
Something flickered in her eyes, a vulnerability that made his protective instincts flare up. “Chase, you aren’t hearing me.”
“I’m trying. I don’t have background in this stuff.” His horse nudged at his shoulder impatiently, reminding Chase that he still needed to feed him. “I want to go with you,” he repeated. Instinctively, his gaze flicked to her belly. “I want to know that the baby’s okay, too, you know. The kid doesn’t have a dad. He’s going to need someone.”
The corner of her mouth curved up. “He might be a she.”
“Girls need dads too.” He frowned, suddenly thinking back to the days when he was in high school. “They need dads with big guns actually. I don’t want anyone to mess with her.” His gaze settled on her face, and he noted the shadows under her eyes and the weariness of her shoulders. “Or you.”
His words fell into the silent chasm between them. After a moment, she managed a smile. “I’ll go make dinner while you feed Red.” She picked up two of the grocery bags, then turned and hurried into the house, without even looking back, leaving all his promises and offers dangling in the cool evening air, untouched and unacknowledged.
Grimly, he stared after her as the screen door swung shut behind her. What the hell was he doing wrong? The further she drifted from him, the more he wanted to pull her back. He was beginning to think that his agreement to her proposal that they didn’t have to get married hadn’t been the best decision. If they were married, he’d at least feel that he had some way to hold onto her.
Red nudged him, and he rubbed the horse’s nose. “I think you’re lucky you’ve been gelded,” he muttered, as he swung back into the saddle. He turned the horse back to the barn, half-wishing that gelding really would solve his problem…
Or not.
He wasn’t ready to give up yet, and when he got Mira back, he was going to need all his parts functioning just fine.
Because he would get her.
He had to get her.
***
Mira braced her hands on the dashboard of Chase’s truck, peering at the old farmhouse as his truck bounced up the dirt driveway. “I really think this is a bad idea. I don’t think I can lie to Gary.” She’d managed to put off the dinner invitation that Gary Keller had issued at the airport when she’d arrived, but when he’d found her at the hardware store earlier in the week, he’d cornered her and she’d had no escape.
And now they were here, about to disillusion one of the nicest men she’d ever met.
“You don’t need to lie.” Chase put his truck into park, his muscles flexing beneath his denim shirt. He was showered and freshly shaved, and he smelled amazing. He looked younger with his clean shave, and a part of her wanted desperately to run her hand over his jaw. What would it feel like to have him kiss her when his face was so soft?
He raised his brows at her, then lightly grasped her wrist. She was too surprised to pull away, and then, when he pressed her hand against his face, she didn’t want to pull away. She slid her fingers along his jaw. “So smooth,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to hold back,” he said, his gaze riveted to her face, and his voice deliciously husky. “You can touch me anytime you want.”
Sudden desire rushed through her, and she quickly pulled her hand away. She’d been at the ranch for three weeks, and it had been increasingly difficult to keep her distance from Chase. He was charming at dinner, gruff and cranky before his coffee, and ridiculously sexy in his dusty jeans and cowboy hat whenever he came in from the barn. He didn’t appear to have anyone else on the ranch helping him, and he worked literally from sunrise to sunset training horses, caring for them, and keeping the physical structure in good repair.
He reminded her of her dad, in a way, with his unflagging, steady energy to do his job. He never seemed to get flustered when a horse was difficult, and she’d never seen him lose his temper with an animal or anyone else. He was dependable and solid, and she was already starting to rely on him.
His constant, unabashed efforts to seduce her didn’t help. She was attracted to him, and it was getting harder to remember to keep her distance. She had to keep reminding herself that he’d refused to choose her over his brothers, so she knew that she would never come first to him. Not that she wanted him to walk away from his family, but she couldn’t marry him, or anyone, unless she knew that she would come first if she needed it.
He smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth curvin
g up in a most insanely tempting fashion. “Did I mention that you look sexy as hell in those jeans?”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “I don’t think so.” She knew he hadn’t. She clung to every compliment he gave her, even though she pretended not to hear most of them.
He leaned closer, his fingers gliding over the nape of her neck. “You look sexy as hell in those jeans, sweetheart.” His breath was warm against her mouth, and her heart started to race.
“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she whispered.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because I like it.” The admission slipped out, and she bit her lip, but it was too late to take back. Chase’s face softened, and a hungry gleam appeared in his eyes. Oh, God. He was going to kiss her, wasn’t he? He was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him and—
“Chase!” The front door of the gray farmhouse swung open with a bang, and Mira leapt back from Chase, both relieved and horribly frustrated by the interruption. She didn’t want to have time to think about kissing him. She wanted it to just happen without her making the decision that she wanted it, because she couldn’t make that decision.
Chase didn’t look annoyed, however. He was studying her with a thoughtful look on his face, as if he realized that she would have let him kiss her, and he was contemplating exactly what he was going to do with that bit of information.
“You two ever going to get out of that truck?” A red-haired woman in blue jeans and cowboy boots was striding energetically toward the truck. The wrinkles on her face suggested she was in her seventies, but her flaming red hair was fit for a teenage rodeo queen. “It’s about time you brought Mira around.”
Mira quickly turned away from Chase, wishing that the moment had never happened. She wasn’t sure which moment it was that she regretted. Was it the fact she’d almost kissed him, or the fact that she’d been interrupted before it had happened? She didn’t know. God, she was so confused.
Taking refuge in their visitor, she opened the door and climbed out of his truck before Chase could make it around the truck to escort her, as he liked to do. “Hi,” she said, forcing cheerfulness into her voice. “You must be Martha Keller.”
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