by Francis Ray
Madelyn sprang up in bed and stared at the answering machine as if it had turned into a snake. Why couldn’t he leave her alone? He had gotten what he wanted.
The thought caused her to wince. She had been ridiculously easy for him. But once she learned something, she never forgot.
Scooting to the edge of the bed, she stuck her foot into her clogs, grabbed her purse off the dresser, and headed for the door. He thought he was so smart. She’d show him.
A smug smile on her face, she turned from locking her door. Her mouth gaped.
“You move faster than I thought,” Daniel said.
He was less than ten feet in front of her and closing fast. She glanced toward her car, then back at Daniel. She’d never make it. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“I know and I don’t blame you,” he answered.
She frowned. “Then why are you here?”
“Because you’ve been hiding in your apartment and I didn’t want that.”
“How could…” Her voice trailed off as he pulled a cell phone from his pocket. “You’ve been out here since nine?”
“Actually since eight. I didn’t know if you went to early church service.”
She couldn’t take it in. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re a good, caring woman. What happened last night goes against everything you’ve been taught. You won’t easily forgive yourself, although the fault was mine.”
“I was so easy,” she whispered in anguish.
Strong hands gripped her shoulders. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that.”
She recoiled. His hands dropped, and he stepped back. “It wasn’t your fault. Get that through your head. You depended on me, and I let you down.”
There was a question she had to ask. “Did … did you plan for … for it to happen?”
He gazed at her with steady eyes. “No. I lost control for the first time in my life. I’m not happy about it. Saying I’m sorry won’t change things, but I don’t want you beating yourself over the head.”
She glanced away. “I can’t help it.”
“Would it help if you beat me over the head instead?” Her gaze jerked back around. “I have a training room in my house.”
“No.” She had faced disappointments before and survived. She’d survive this time. She had some pride left. He’d never know how much she hurt inside. She held out her hand. “Goodbye, Daniel.”
“Take care of yourself.” His hand closed around hers.
Nodding, she pulled her hand free and walked to her car. She hadn’t missed the electric awareness between them. From the sudden narrowing of his eyes, he hadn’t, either. At least she no longer felt used and discarded. She just wished she felt loved.
Daniel watched Madelyn drive away and wondered why he felt worse instead of better. The animosity between them was gone. She had left instead of retreating back into her apartment. He had almost accomplished what he had set out to do. She hadn’t smiled or laughed, but she would.
The only problem was, he wouldn’t be there to see or hear it.
* * *
Madelyn didn’t know where she was driving to, and she didn’t care. Knowing how hectic the Houston freeways could be, she took the off ramp and simply drove aimlessly until she saw Meyer Park and pulled in.
Too restless to sit, she got out and soon found herself in front of the duck pond, her mind still on Daniel. He was right. She was more angry with herself than she was with him. He had offered nothing, promised nothing. She had wrongly assumed that he felt the same way she did.
He had felt only lust.
Her fault. Despite the idea of being called antiquated by some of her friends, she had always expected to wait until she married to make love. That’s why none of the other men in her life ever tempted her to go farther than a few heated kisses.
The moment she had kissed Daniel at the street fair in San Antonio, she had known he was the one she had been waiting for. There was a connection there that even he couldn’t deny.
He hadn’t tried. She might be inexperienced, but she knew he still wanted her. He just wasn’t going to let himself be swayed by his emotions the way she was.
She had three choices: mope and hide from life, chalk up the experience as a bad decision, or go on and pray one day he might stop running from a commitment. Since the possibility of her feelings toward him changing wasn’t an option, she really didn’t have a choice.
Like her mother, she somehow knew she’d love only once. Considering Daniel’s coming over this morning to check on her, and his statement that she was the only woman that had ever made him lose control, things weren’t as bleak as they could be.
Returning to her car, Madelyn drove home. Without replaying the messages on the answering machine, she called her parents later that afternoon. At the sound of her mother’s voice, her throat stung. The sensation became worse when she talked with her father.
She’d always been Daddy’s girl. She’d follow him anywhere. She’d learned to drive by sitting in his lap, caught her first fish with his favorite pole, served him her first mud cake.
Her eyes stinging, she looked straight into the glassy black eyes of the teddy bear. Swallowing, she made up her mind what she was going to do.
After promising she’d be home the following weekend, she put the bear back in the corner of her bedroom. She wasn’t a quitter or a coward. Somehow she’d find a way to change Daniel’s mind—and maybe, just maybe, win the heart of a falcon.
* * *
This has got to stop. Splashing cold water on her face, Madelyn took deep breaths and tried to keep her stomach from emptying anything more. Her lunch was already gone, but that hadn’t seemed to matter to her stomach.
The women’s rest room door opened, and Cassandra Lincoln came in. “You’re feeling better?”
Madelyn sucked in another breath before she answered. “I’m not sure.”
The petite blonde frowned. “Today is the second day in a row you’ve thrown up your lunch. Maybe you’re getting an ulcer?”
With one hand on her stomach, Madelyn straightened. “Probably a virus. I’ve been sick the last couple of mornings also.”
Cassandra’s blue eyes narrowed, then she smiled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you might be pregnant.”
Madelyn spun toward the other woman, horror written on her face. “What?”
Cassandra held up her hands. “Just kidding. Everyone knows you’re the straight-arrow type. I better get back. If you’re still sick by tomorrow, you should see a doctor.”
Clutching her stomach, Madelyn stared at the closed door. She didn’t have to see a doctor for a little virus. She certainly wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be.
Snatching a paper towel from the dispenser, she dried her face and repaired her makeup. She felt better already.
Once at her desk, she went back to working on the specifications for a deep well.
There was a brief knock on her open office door, then Mr. Sampson came in. “Madelyn, I need you and Floyd to fly down to the Gulf. Number fifty-eight is ready to be plugged up and abandoned.”
Just the thought of riding in the helicopter sent her stomach into a spasm. Unconsciously she clutched it.
He frowned, coming farther into the room. “You sick?”
She swallowed. “I’ve picked up a virus.”
“That lets you out.” He peered at her closely. “Maybe you should stay home tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said. “Besides, I’m almost finished with new designs for the deep well in zone eight.”
“Really?” His eyes brightened. “Then I’d certainly want you to stay and complete that. Cassandra can take your place on the Mexico trip.”
“I’ll have the report to you by tomorrow afternoon,” Madelyn said, her voice wavering only slightly.
By three the next day, Madelyn was trembling and flushed, yet somehow she had managed to finish the report. Despite drinking only a carbonated beverage,
she continued to feel queasy.
Mr. Sampson took one look at her when she handed him the report and told her to go home and stay there until she was well. All he needed was the rest of his staff to get sick.
This time she didn’t argue. She had never felt worse. Opening the door to her apartment, she stopped only long enough to grab a carbonated beverage from the refrigerator.
Two sips later she was running to the bathroom. After emptying her stomach, she looked into the mirror, refusing to believe what her body was telling her. Eyes shut, she tried to keep the suspicion from forming into thought.
It was useless.
The word formed. Hammered against her skull.
Pregnant.
Unsteady legs refused to hold her. She slid to the cool tile of the bathroom floor. This couldn’t be happening to her. She had done it only one time. One time.
No. Her eyes snapped open. Something else was wrong. Maybe she had caught some virus? Her cycles had always been erratic. It was only a coincidence that the Petroleum Ball was a little over six weeks ago. There was no need to panic.
She was overreacting. Daniel had used protection. Just because she had been nauseous for the past few days didn’t mean anything. Her breasts being tender was probably due to some hormonal imbalance due to her irregular cycle.
Yes, that was it.
Feeling better, she got up from the floor. The wan, frightened face staring back at her wasn’t reassuring.
“I’m not. I’ll prove it.”
Washing her face and brushing her teeth, she grabbed her purse and rushed out to the car. Not daring to let anyone know her suspicions, she drove to a drugstore on the other side of town.
She sat in the busy parking lot a full five minutes to make sure she didn’t see anyone she knew before she went inside. Unwilling to ask a clerk for directions, it took her two frantic minutes of looking over her shoulder before locating the home pregnancy kits.
Grabbing the first one, she went to the counter. When the clerk bagged the kit in a plastic bag and handed it to her, she quickly stuffed it into her purse and left. You’d think stores would use paper sacks for bagging personal items, she thought irritably.
Knowing she was being irrational didn’t help her to calm down. Always a safe driver, she ran two caution lights and kept the speedometer on seventy on the freeway. Once the test came up negative, she’d be back to her normal self.
Thirty minutes later Madelyn stared at the blue indicator, a growing knot of fear tightening her stomach. No. It was wrong. The kit must have been faulty.
Grabbing her purse again, she went to her car. This time she was too anxious to go very far. She stopped at the first drugstore she saw. Minutes later she was back in the car with three different brands.
The results were the same. Lined up on the marble vanity were four pregnancy tests: each blue, each positive. She was going to have a baby.
“No, I can’t—I can’t be pregnant. Please, I can’t be.”
Shoving her hands through her hair, she sat down on the cool floor. One time. She had friends in high school and college who played musical beds and never got caught.
Why her? Why did she have to get pregnant?
She didn’t want to be a single mother. Raising a child was a big responsibility. She wasn’t ready to be a parent. How could she have been so irresponsible and careless?
Her parents. Her eyes shut tightly. Her parents were so proud of her. How could she tell them that she had messed up? She couldn’t. The news would devastate them. She was their sweet little baby girl. Sweet little baby girls didn’t have one-night stands and, if they did, they weren’t careless enough to get pregnant.
What about her job? She was so proud of her accomplishments and looking forward to being in management by next year. Next year she’d be up to her eyeballs in diapers and formula. It wasn’t fair—it just wasn’t fair.
Her head dropped into her open palms. Tears freely fell. Lifting her head, she forced herself to get up. She made it to her bed and lay down, curling into a tight ball.
How was she going to get through this?
* * *
Madelyn awoke feeling fuzzy and thickheaded. Her mouth was dry. Her eyes hurt. Before she was completely upright, she remembered. Her gaze shot to the bathroom. Anger propelled her across the room.
With an angry swipe of her arm, she swept the test results into the wastebasket, yanked up the plastic lining, and securely tied the end.
She was squeezing the bag when she realized what she was doing. Shame, then guilt, struck her.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Dropping to her knees, she released her hold on the bag.
Her anger was misplaced. The tiny life growing within her wasn’t to blame for this. It had nothing to do with its conception.
She had made a decision, consciously or unconsciously, to make love with Daniel. Now she had to take responsibility for the results.
A baby.
Her gaze dropped to her waistline. A life was growing inside her. A life she and Daniel had created. Slowly she reached down and rubbed her abdomen.
“We’ll get through this. It’s not your fault.” Leaning back against the wall she closed her eyes. If she had almost freaked out, what would Daniel’s reaction be?
Chapter 7
“I’m pregnant.”
Whatever words Daniel Falcon had expected to hear from Madelyn Taggart’s forbidden lips, those definitely were not part of his unwanted fantasy.
With the same control with which he’d held himself since she first walked into his office, Daniel’s face reflected none of his anger, his disappointment. Both hands remained negligently atop his neat desk, his face expressionless.
Not that it mattered because once Madelyn had tossed out her bomb, she had tried to take a chunk out of her lower lip, then centered her attention on the bank of windows on the other side of the room. Sunlight poured into his downtown office in Houston like spun gold. He seriously doubted if Madelyn noticed.
“Are you sure?” Daniel asked.
“Yes.” Was that a smile or a grimace that quickly swept across the profile of her beautiful face? He couldn’t tell. Her dismal expression made it difficult to remember her quick smile, the excited burst of laughter from her mouth, the sparkle in her big brown eyes.
All that was gone now. And it was his fault.
All because that same smile lit up his heart, that same mouth tempted him beyond measure, those same eyes reached inside him and touched his soul. Despite knowing better, he had crossed a line he had no business crossing. “What do you plan to do?”
She looked at him then, her eyes wide. Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip again.
“Stop shredding your lips, for goodness’ sake,” he told her, the anger he had been trying to control slipping its tenuous hold.
She flinched, and he clenched his teeth to keep the curse words locked behind them. Unable to remain seated, he surged to his feet. Because he wanted as desperately to hold her as much as he wanted to shout at her for being so careless, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “What a mess.”
Down went her head again, and he wanted to kick himself. Hell, he should kick himself. This was his fault more than it was hers. Her naivete was alluring to jaded men like him. He had shattered her illusions, and now she was paying the price.
But she had also shattered an illusion he had of her. His fists clenched as a wave of jealousy swept through him. “Have you told the father yet?”
She went as still as a shadow. Daniel could almost feel her pulling into herself. His control slipped. In seconds he was kneeling in front of her, his hands clamped around her upper forearm. “Did that bastard hurt you? Tell me? Who is he?”
Daniel didn’t understand the sad smile that transformed Madelyn Taggart’s face, but he did understand the words, “You are. You’re the father.”
Madelyn stared into the stunned face of Daniel Falcon and fought to control the tears that always hovered these days.
He had just insulted both of them. “We never really knew each other, did we?”
His face cold, he pushed to his feet. “I can’t be the father.”
“Biologically or morally?” she managed to choke out.
“Both,” he said tightly. “I’m not careless in that area. A man in my position can’t afford to be.”
Unconsciously Madelyn’s hand went to her waist. Daniel saw the gesture and wanted to break something. She had gone straight from his bed to some other man’s.
Her memory had never been far from him, and he hadn’t meant a damn thing to her. Rage curled inside him, but he had the power to lose it on the woman huddled in front of him or subdue it. He had done enough to her.
“I know this must come as a shock. It was to me,” she said quietly, remembering the crazy mix of emotions from fear to sheer terror on watching the tester turn blue. Dark, hopeful eyes lifted to his. “You’re the father, Daniel. Nothing is foolproof except abstinence. Failures happen.”
Daniel clamped down on the surge of excitement before it could materialize. He wasn’t the father. “That’s just it, Madelyn. It’s never happened in the past.”
Madelyn fought against succumbing to the misery and pain and anger assailing her from all sides. Of all the scenarios she had gone over in her mind, denial of paternity was not one of them.
In spite of everything, somehow, in the back of her mind, she had thought he would shout with delight on hearing the news. She had only been fooling herself. Since the morning afterward he hadn’t tried to contact her in any way. He had walked out of her life and forgotten she existed.
Her initial instinct was to just get up and leave his office, but she had never been one to walk away from anything, no matter how painful. More than her pride was involved. There was a child to consider.
“Have you told Kane or Matt yet?” Daniel asked abruptly.
Her fingers clutched the handbag in her lap. “No.”
“That explains why I’m not in the hospital.”
Her sharp gaze locked on his. “My brothers have nothing to do with this.”
Daniel snorted. “We both know they’ll come looking for me when you tell them.”