Through Her Eyes

by Ava Harrison

  “It’s a bit scary now.” My voice is only a whisper.

  “I’ve got you.” Chase squeezes my hand, and I know his words mean so much more than he says. “Come on up here.” I feel the tickle of his breath against my neck. He hoists me up a narrow set of stairs on the side of the terra cotta building in front of us. My foot catches on the first set of prongs. Steadily, I climb to the top, and the view is magnificent. Lights flicker in the distance, a million majestic diamonds reflecting off the dark abyss of the sky. Gripping his hand a little tighter, a grin spreads across my face.

  “It’s beautiful.” I marvel at the view.

  “Uh-huh,” he mutters, and I turn my face toward him, scrunching my nose.

  “You’re not even looking at the view, Chase Porter,” I playfully scold.

  “The view I have is quite spectacular, too.” He smirks as his eyes twinkle.

  “What is that?” My hand points out into the distance, across the island.

  “That’s Anacapri. I’ll take you there tomorrow if we have time.”

  The air is damp, and the sweet smell of rain infiltrates my nose. I peer up to look for traces of clouds but the darkness that blankets us from above makes it nearly impossible to see anything, let alone the impending rain, which I’m sure will come. Chase draws me into him, his breath tickling my neck as he inhales deeply.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m breathing you in.” Puzzled, I look fixedly at him, speechless. My right eyebrow rises in question, waiting for an explanation. “You’re my air, Aria.” My heartbeat batters inside me as my chest tightens. I remain fixed on him even though cool water begins to streams down my hair and into my eyes. The sky has apparently opened. The hard rain pricks our skin like small needles. Water is collecting around our feet, the puddle filled with a murky liquid. I can feel the soft caress of hands under my knees, and I’m being lifted into Chase’s arms. My hands wrap around his neck of their own accord. He begins to carry me toward the nearest wall of the building. We need to find cover from the torrential water, but instead he pushes me up against the wall, rearranging his arms as he slams my body against it. Our mouths collide. His grip tightens around me. He pulls away and places feathery kisses down the damp skin of my neck.

  “Please, Chase,” I plead with him.

  “I don’t want you to regret this.” There’s uncertainty in his voice. I shake my head adamantly back and forth.

  “I could never regret you.”

  Enraptured.

  Breathless anticipation.

  Our eyes meet, and his gaze burns into me, locking intensely on mine.

  Setting me on fire.

  “God, you’re amazing, Aria. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. If you did, it would make things so much easier.” His words come out slowly through his shallow breaths.

  His fingers gently stroke my chin, and my back continues to press up against the wall. I’m eager to feel the soft caress of his mouth. Our mouths smash together again, and this time I don’t ever want to let go. My arms enclose his neck tighter, deepening the kiss. His tongue gently licks mine.

  Tugging.

  Nipping.

  A whimper escapes my mouth.

  “Please, Chase,” I moan.

  “Shh. Soon. Soon.” He continues his assault on me until I’m begging and panting for release, but he keeps me at bay. Teetering above myself. My heart thumps erratically in my chest, like a freight train going off the track.

  “How long did you know you wanted this?” I ask through my labored breath.

  “From the very moment I saw you sitting all alone and sad on the veranda, drowning your sorrows in a Bellini.”

  “Am I just some girl?” I need to know, even if I don’t like the answer. I’ve never felt like this with someone I just met. I need to know if this is one-sided, if I’m just another ‘Maria.’

  “You are more than just a girl. You are my Aria. You are my air.” My heart ceases its pounding. Goosebumps run up my arms. Passion, emotion, they engulf me.

  His words break me into a million pieces and then pick me back up and mend me. I have no words. No reaction other than loss of all thought. A strange feeling weaves its way through me.

  Urgency. Desperation.

  “You banish the darkness, Chase.” Chase stares at me intently, with a strange look in his eye. His movements are sudden, as though he’s lost all control of himself. He fists my hair in his hands and pulls back, his lips finding my neck. This isn’t sweet, this isn’t loving. This is a frenzied kiss as if we can’t get enough of each other. He owns me, has laid claim to me.

  A cool breeze streams in, whipping its way through my hair. My body doesn’t cool though, not until his soft hands lift the hem of my dress. Chills run down my back as the pressure of his fingertips increases on my upper thighs tracing patterns on my ivory skin.

  Soft fingers trace the edge of my lace panties, delicate feather-like whispers against my skin.

  “What are you doing to me, Aria?” he groans. “I feel like you’re holding me prisoner. Once I peered into the endless abyss of your eyes, I knew I would drown.”

  Cold water fills my veins, dousing my body with a chill that, over the years, I’ve grown to know all too well. My lungs feel like they are filling with water. My breathing grows more and more rapid.

  Drowning . . .

  Drowning . . .

  Drowning . . .

  I’m drowning again.

  Breaking the surface.

  Ripples in the current.

  “Stop! Stop, Chase. I can’t do this right now!”

  “What . . . what’s wrong? What happened?” Concern rims his eyes. I must look like a crazed animal, my eyes feral and unfocused.

  “I’m so sorry, so sorry,” I say as tears spread down my cheek.

  “Shh, Aria. What’s wrong? Please, Princess. Tell me what happened. What did I do?” His touch becomes more hesitant as he watches me warily.

  “Drowning. Drowning,” I repeat in confusion. “You said you were drowning.”

  “Shh, breathe. Aria. I’m okay. I’m okay. We are fine. You are fine. No one is drowning.”

  My breathing regulates as I start to focus. Chase softly lowers me to the ground. I hold on to him for dear life. Reality is setting in.

  He holds me for some time bringing me back to my surroundings. His lips lay soft kisses on my hair as he strokes my back, and makes me feel loved. He cherishes me completely, and as I watch him through tear-stained eyes, I know I can one day fall in love with this man.

  When we return to the boat, his arms wrap around my back as he lowers us into my bed. Our breathing is tandem. The images before of Owen were so clear, so vivid, but in Chase’s arms they fade. He pulls me from the numbness, rescues me from the waters that threaten to drown me.

  “Will you please stay? Hold me?”

  “Always.”

  I look up at him with dreamy eyes, half asleep, almost in twilight.

  “Thank you, Chase.” He stares at me with dark eyes.

  “You are a beautiful dream, and I’m afraid to wake.” His arms wrap tighter around me as if he really is scared I’ll leave. This is my fear, too. That this is just a beautiful dream and when I wake up everything will come crashing down again. That the reality of everything from my past will hit me and I will never be able to awaken from that nightmare. I inhale, and my chest tightens. The weight of all my decisions once again hangs over me.

  Dangling. Waiting to drop.

  Waiting to cover me once again. Cloak me in darkness.

  I exhale and try to push it aside, pretend it’s not there. Pretend that if I look up, the parts of me I’m running from won’t come crashing down. And then he pulls me tighter and encases me in his warmth, and everything I worry about slips away.

  Sometime later, I’m rustled awake by the caress of his body against mine. Quietly, I attempt to slide out of bed when I hear Chase.

  “Hey, beautiful. Where do you think you’r
e going?” He wraps his arms around my middle and pulls me back. It’s the middle of the night, and I’m able to see the moon casting a shadow against the far wall. I can’t make coherent thoughts as I feel his warm hands splay against my ribs. “You’re going nowhere. I’m not nearly done holding you yet.”

  “I have to freshen up, Chase Porter. Will you be done with me soon?” I pretend to chide him, but I can’t control the laugh that breaks from my lips.

  “Patience.” His eyes crinkle as his mouth parts into a grin.

  “What are you so happy about?”

  His eyes flicker the way they often do when they warm my heart. “You. Always you.” Not a second passed before I was flipped back onto the bed. Lips trace a path across my hip bone, small kisses. His tongue presses gently against me, causing heat to rush across my body. My core contracts and my breath becomes erratic as he continues his sweet torture. As I feel myself coming apart on his tongue he pulls away, leaving me vacant and needy. Moving up my body he traces my right breast with his tongue and then the left, lightly nipping on each nipple. Devouring them in his mouth, leaving me desperate for his touch.

  Desperate to be filled.

  “Please,” I whimper. He reaches for the nightstand and pulls out a foil wrapper from the drawer. I feel like I may die from anticipation as I wait. Finally, my hand finds him hard and ready, and I tighten my grip around him, pulling him closer to where I need him most. His lips part against mine, and on the exhale, he pushes into my heat. The warmth of his breath as it lingers on my lips is sweet. His tongue traces the seam of my mouth, seeking entry again. As his movements pick up, I cling to his broad shoulders. My nails scratch down the lines of each defined muscle until I clutch him harder, willing— begging—him to increase his speed.

  Faster.

  Harder.

  Shallow.

  Deep.

  I become lost in the pleasure, lost in the emotions.

  My body starts to contract and pulse around him.

  I’m being pulled tight, like a rubber band about to snap.

  I explode.

  Lights dance in my vision as I return from heaven.

  “You steal the breath from my body,” I say while gasping for oxygen.

  “And you put the air in mine.”

  I lay wrapped in his arms.

  “Are you happy?” And in that very moment, I know the answer to the very bottom of my soul . . . I am.

  “What are you thinking about?” I stop and ponder his question before answering truthfully.

  “I’m thinking about how much my life has changed since I met you. How this trip has opened my eyes. How I see life in a different way. It’s funny how you think the road only goes in one direction, and then you realize it can go a completely different way. You know, my friend, he told me this, but I didn’t believe him. I was so stuck on the idea that I need to be someone else for everybody.”

  He pulls me closer into him, my long, messy locks fanning across his chest.

  “Sleep,” he whispers, and I do. The steady cadence of his heart lulls me into a deep slumber.

  Finally, at peace.

  Thirty-seven days since I spoke to Parker

  Nine days since I met Chase

  THE MORNING SUNLIGHT DANCES over the lush hills in the distance. Capri. It seems to be everything I dreamed it would be in the early morning glow. A soft shimmer casts over the grass as streams of light reflect off the dew collecting on the leaves.

  It’s a beautiful view, almost impossible to put into words. I feel peaceful this morning. The wind hits the sails with a soft hiss as I sit on the deck drinking my coffee. I awoke before Chase and quietly escaped the confines of his embrace. As I sit enjoying the waves crashing against the rocks of Capri in the distance, I think of my life back home. The sound of the surf hitting the earth is a stark reminder of the summer it all changed.

  For years after the accident, I wore the perfect mask, never showing how the loss of my brother affected me. Never showing how my mom’s words hurt me. How they cut me to the bone. After losing Owen, I desperately needed the survival technique Parker taught me.

  “Never show her your pain. She thrives on it, baby girl. Look her in the eye with indifference. That’s the only way she will stop. Your happiness is the best revenge you can give her. Being yourself is more important than being the person they want you to be. If they can’t appreciate who you are, that’s their loss. Not yours.”

  He was right, of course. Parker was always right. Always there to hold my hand and protect me. That’s what made this trip so hard. He told me to do this, and I said no. But he was right. Always right. I don’t belong in a corner office. I belong here, feeling the sun on my face, drifting in the wind. No destination in sight. At peace.

  “What are you doing out here all by yourself?” Chase inquires as he places a lazy kiss on my lips. And when he kisses me . . .

  He makes me feel whole.

  Like the pieces of me that are broken aren’t that bad.

  “I was just thinking that this is where I’m meant to be right now. That I believe I’m meant to learn something from this trip.”

  “I agree with you. You know, while I was climbing my first mountain, I learned a few things about myself as well.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, what did you learn on that first trip?”

  “Not at all. I learned what real beauty was. I learned how it felt to be stopped in your tracks and left in awe of the intricate nature of all matters of life. Often, we get so caught up in the destination that we never see the impact the journey has on us. I learned to appreciate my body and to push myself to excel. I learned to push myself past my comfort level because unless we do that, we’ll never grow. To fall down and pick myself back up again. All the lessons I learned climbing that first mountain I’ve now applied to all aspects of my life, but I’ll tell you what the most important thing I learned on all my travels was, Aria.”

  “What’s that?”

  “To always remember to breathe.” I stared at him, stunned.

  Unable to speak.

  Rendered useless. Again.

  “What do you want to do today?” Chase asks from across the cabin sometime later. He smiles at me, and the way his lip turns up gives him a boyish charm. A dimple appears on his right cheek. On a normal occasion, it’s harder to see through his five o’clock shadow, but today it seems extra deep. I grin back mischievously, thinking of how we had spent the last hour after he found me drinking coffee.

  “None of that right now.” He laughs as I watch him move. Each stride is fluid as he makes his way around the room. He stands with his hands on his hips. His eyes search the room for his discarded clothes from this morning. My face flushes at the memory.

  “You want to go to Anacapri?” I shrug and stick my tongue out.

  “Sticking your tongue out, are you? I have someplace for you to stick your tongue,” he mocks.

  “Promises, promises.” I rise in one fluid motion. He smothers a groan as I approach him and lift up to my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. My naked breasts press again his strong torso.

  “Aria,” he says in warning.

  “What?” I tilt my head and smirk.

  “Nope, not happening.” I pivot my body away from his as he lightly smacks my backside.

  After a frigid shower to wash away my dirty thoughts, I enter the galley to grab a snack. As I lean into the fridge, two strong hands wrap around my middle. A squeak escapes as Chase lifts me into his arms and sits me on the counter.

  “You okay, Princess?” He grins mischievously.

  “I’m perfect,” I allow my fingers to trail down his chest. “There is one problem I might need your help with.” I continue to run my hands down the V of his torso, dipping inside the waistband of his jeans.

  “And what’s that?” His voice is husky. I lean into him, place my lips on his, and bite down softly. His mouth parts, and I become ravenous. I’m on edge from the delicious torture of delayed gra
tification.

  “Luciano?” I moan into his mouth.

  “Don’t worry,” he mumbles between kisses. “He won’t return until tonight.”

  “When did you tell him to stay away?”

  “When you were showering. I knew I couldn’t resist you for long.”

  “Just wanted to torture me a little?” Slowly he pushes my panties down my thighs and I push forward toward his hand. Tilting my hips up to meet the warmth of his caress. I’m silently begging, pleading with my body for him to touch me. Soft fingers tease my sensitive skin. They dip inside me and then find the wonderfully sensitive spot buried deep within. My body starts to quiver as he pushes upward with his fingers massaging me, bringing me so close I’m teetering on the brink of eruption but just as I’m about to explode he pulls back leaving me vacant and greedy for more. Reaching into his jean pocket he grabs a condom then rips it open before he aligns himself against my core.

  Our bodies slowly come together and his lips press firmly into mine. His grip tightens around me as his control wavers. He’s holding back. Letting me adjust to him. I push forward, taking him deeper, and again our bodies meet as he enters me fully. I exhale, relaxing into him, letting him claim me completely. He thrusts in and out, each stroke lighting a fire. The bond between us grows with each move he makes. My heartbeat pounds as he throbs within me. The surge of release tingling as a shiver claims my whole body until I soar higher than I ever thought possible.

  Cleaning up and re-showering is necessary after “breakfast.” We decide to spend the day on the other side of the island near the city of Anacapri.

  Once at Anacapri, Chase says we should take the chairlift up to Mount Solaro. I’m nervous. The chair lift has me completely on edge. It’s nothing more than a chair strapped to a long piece of wire.

  “This is insane. I’m not getting on that thing.” Chase is not affected at all. He laughs as I refuse to get on, then leans into me and gently takes my hand. His lips places tiny kisses across my knuckles, and I’ve forgotten what I’m so afraid of.