by Ruby Knight
“Yeah. We definitely need to leave now.”
I pushed my sunglasses back up my nose. “I never said we couldn’t. Let’s go, babe.”
Holy cow! What had I just said? My hand quickly slapped across my mouth.
Cole smirked. “Babe, huh?”
“Apparently.” I laughed. What’s done is done. Gotta roll with it. And it did feel kinda freeing to have admitted that aloud, and also to myself.
He pulled out of the garage and we took off into the bright afternoon light.
“I know where we’re going,” I said after nearly twenty minutes of comfortable silence.
Cole smiled, showing his teeth. “I would hope so, considering you’ve been here before.”
He turned off of the main road onto a gravel one. We bumped along for a minute or two before he turned right and approached a metal gate encompassed by a stone wall. We pulled up to the keypad and the gate slowly slid open. The Thomas cabin. I had only seen it from the outside when we were here last. We parked and went out to helicopter pad off the back of the property.
I had remembered the house as a quaint bungalow. Seeing it again, I realized that although charming and cottage-like, it was still huge. The front porch had oversized chairs on it and continued off toward the side of the house.
“So your dad built this?”
Cole nodded and shifted the car into park.
“He had it built. We came here when I was little, in the summers. Most kids went to the Hamptons.”
He smiled. I could practically see the memories dancing in his eyes. He shook his head a little.
“When my mom died, we stopped coming here. My dad sold the house to me for a dollar a year or so ago. So it’s mine.”
He opened his door and went around to the trunk where he lifted out a weekend bag that I hadn’t seen. I was watching him in the trunk, over my shoulder, and he smiled at me.
“Harrison,” he said, before I could even ask how the bag got there.
Cole was a romantic. I had a boy who was a romantic. I folded my arms into myself and hugged a little with a smile. Cole was my boy.
The door opened and I stepped out into the brisk air. The snow had stopped falling and the blue sky was breaking through the trees. The sky was never as clear as right after a snowstorm. Being here was like being in Utah. So much like home, but better. Because now, Cole was here.
As we were walking up the front porch steps, he laced his fingers through mine. Heat spread through my body.
“Is it always like this?”
“Always like what?”
I lifted up our hands. “Is it always going to feel like this?”
“I’m not reading you right now. It’s damn hard, but I’m not.”
I smiled at that. “Well, would you, so you know what I am trying to say?”
Tiny prickles of awareness ran along my neck as Cole let my emotions wash over him. His eyes were closed but he smiled. I was blushing—my face, my chest. I was sure my pinky toes, were blushing, too.
Cole opened his eyes and dropped the bag in his other hand on the porch. He pulled me to him and crushed me to his chest. “Damn. It looks like we are both lost.”
I laughed. “If being lost means being with you, then I don’t ever want to find my way.”
I kissed his chest, because he was too tall for me to reach a higher part of his body. He released me and dug in his pocket, producing a key.
“Come on. I need to tell you something.” He picked up the bag. I followed behind him and closed the door behind me. “Hold on. Stay here.”
He took the stairs in the entry of the house two at a time. I heard a thud upstairs, assumed he had once again dropped the bag, and then some shuffling of drawers. Cole then walked back down the stairs.
“You okay?” I devoured the sight of him moving through the house.
He held a photo album in his hand. When he held out his other hand to me, I took it and he guided me toward the family room. I threw a quick glance at the large stone fireplace and the floor-to-ceiling corner windows that let in light and nature. The kitchen sat back behind the couch Cole was pulling me down to. He flipped open to the first page.
The picture was of a gorgeous woman with light hair, and it was old. The resolution wasn’t great, but it was obvious that Hank was the man in the picture. It seemed like he had hardly aged. The woman had a toddler on her hip, who was giving the camera the biggest, cheesiest smile. I ran my finger along the boy’s face, that of Cole as a child.
“This is my mom,” he said softly.
“She’s stunning.”
Cole nodded in agreement. I had seen a picture of her in the Bahamas. She looked happier in this one, though. Complete.
“She was the best,” he added.
“What happened?”
He flipped through the pages and I briefly saw images of a happy family.
“One day,” he started and took a deep breath. “My dad and I came home. We had been here fishing. Having a boys’ weekend. I was ten.”
I reached for his hand and squeezed it gently three times, urging him to continue.
“When we got home, the closets were empty. No. Her closets were empty. All of the pictures of her in the house were gone. There was a note saying she couldn’t do it anymore.”
He stopped and turned to look at me. His eyes had glassed over, but no tears had escaped yet.
“She just left. My dad looked for her for years. I don’t really know if he ever stopped. One night, she was there kissing me good-bye and zipping up my jacket. The next, it was like she was completely erased from my life.”
I inched closer to him. I couldn’t even imagine. I gave up my life and my teenage years with my parents willingly. Cole had had no choice. How had it affected him? I was just learning how much it had affected me. Did it shape him? Was I who I was because I’d spent the last seven years on my own?
“The thing about having abilities or being Transcendent … if you find someone and fall in love, that’s it. The connection that is made, if both people feel it—they are it for each other. It’s permanent. We are a monogamous sort of weird people. This connection is the reason my dad doesn’t think my mom is dead. He said he would know. He would know if she was, because the connection would be gone. I think that’s why he can still get up everyday and live.”
He then looked at me with resolve. “Julia, you’re it for me. You asked if it would always feel this way and I know it will. I saw it with my parents. I know how I feel. I know I sound crazy—” he ran his hand through his short hair, “—but it doesn’t feel crazy. It feels right.”
He looked at me, through me, all the way to my soul. He released his emotions, opening himself to me. I had to close my eyes to take it all in.
Colors swirled as his emotions danced across my eyelids. He wanted everything. Nothing and no one else had ever been what he needed or wanted. It was me, though. He wanted me.
I opened my eyes and climbed onto his lap, straddling him at the waist.
“They say you can’t fully love someone until you’ve lived. But I wouldn’t be living if I wasn’t with you,” I said.
Cole smashed his lips into mine, claiming me. I leaned away and took a long look at him despite the fact that my lips itched to kiss him.
I kissed his collarbone and trailed my mouth up his neck. He shivered involuntarily.
When his lips met mine, I knew. I’d never find this with anyone else. Regardless of my inexperience or age, this feeling, Cole—he was once in a lifetime. He parted my lips with his tongue, asking permission. I took it as a challenge in an attempt to possess his mouth.
Cole stood up and I kept myself wrapped around his body. He grabbed my butt and squeezed just a little. He laughed as I started kissing his cheek, his jaw, and his neck as he carried me up the stairs.
He laid me down on the bed and then proceeded to meld his body to mine. My hands had a mind of their own, because I was pulling his shirt over his head before I even knew I wa
s doing it. I’d seen his bare abs and chest before, but holy hell. I hadn’t seen them with his eyes looking at me that way. So much to take in. His love, this connection, a lifetime of Cole.
“I’ve never…” I placed my palm on his chest, pushing him up a few inches. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
My tone sounded breathy and soft, like someone completely different. I trailed my fingers down his abs and traced the muscle line. “I mean, I’ve kissed guys before.”
Cole let out a hiss between bit teeth.
“But nothing more,” I concluded, feeling myself blush, becoming a little less confident.
He leaned down and kissed me softly. “We don’t have to do anything. I just needed you to know how I feel, away from everyone else.”
He skimmed his fingers along the bottom of my shirt, sending goose bumps rising across my stomach. I rolled him over so I was on top of him. His hands slid to my hips but didn’t go any farther.
“Jules, I’m no expert in this arena. This is going to be new for both of us.” He closed his eyes briefly.
“You haven’t?” I was sure the surprise mixed with relief read in my voice … but my god, I was glad I wasn’t the only virgin in the room.
Cole shook his head. “No, not like this.”
Every inch of my skin was heated. I wanted this, him. I needed this. My heart was beating out of my chest, my breathing hitched.
I reached down for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head.
Cole ran his hands up from my hips to my rib cage. “You’re so beautiful.”
He pulled me down to his chest. This kiss was different. I felt it in my soul. My blood rushed faster. Everything slowed down. In my head, I could see my heart pumping and beating, but it was surrounded by light. When Cole kissed me deeper, I felt his heart beating in unison with mine. Like a cord connected us heart and soul.
Any confusion I had left. I loved Cole, and I would continue to love him for my entire life.
Chapter Fourteen
“I don’t want to leave,” I said as Cole put the SUV into reverse and pointed the car in the direction of the gates. “I know I am strong and capable, but this is so much to handle. Millions of people are going to die if your dad’s plan doesn’t work.”
A sigh escaped me. Cole leaned toward me and placed a light kiss on my cheek.
“We have to try. If we didn’t try and had to live with all those deaths, that would be too much. I know you. I know you won’t go down without a fight.”
I turned my face to him and he pecked my lips.
“Let’s go save the world,” he said through a smile.
It seemed like the drive back to The Sway compound went by twice as quick as the drive out. Maybe because I recognized the roads we took. The sun melted into the mountains, the sky painted from blues, with pinks and purples, to the deep blue that always announced twilight. I sighed. Today had been a perfect day. If I could relive the last couple hours again and again, I might choose that.
Cole was right, though. I couldn’t just sit by. I would do everything in my power to save my country and mankind. Not only was it drilled into me because of the government training, but it was who I had become. I didn’t let things slip by if they were wrong. I made the right choice even if it proved to be the hard one. I didn’t know when that happened, when I started feeling more like a grown-up instead of a child.
Cole squeezed my hand, bringing me back to the moment. The garage door was slowing lifting open at the compound, and we were back to reality. The moments I had experienced would be with me for my whole life. Not just because it had been a first, but because it had been Cole. I squeezed his hand back and lifted it to my lips, slowly kissed each knuckle.
He put the SUV in park and turned off the ignition. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”
I smiled and bit my bottom lip, shook my head slightly. He leaned in and kissed my temple.
“I don’t understand how you can be too much but not enough at the same time. There are times when I think I couldn’t possibly want you any more than I do in that moment, and then in another breath, I want all of you and more. I want to see it all and have it all,” Cole said.
“I’m yours.” I mean, I was. Now in this moment, I couldn’t see beyond him. He made everything make sense. All the emotions that overwhelmed me, he brought a calm to my storm.
“Damn right you are,” he said through a smile.
I laughed at his cockiness and opened my door. Time to face the music.
The place was bustling with activity. People ran through the halls; around every corner, someone was preparing or packing for the mission. Cole kept a tight grip on my hand as we went through the winding halls. He pulled me into the training room. We weren’t alone. Dozens of people were fighting, throwing knives, cleaning guns. Harrison walked toward us and clapped Cole on the shoulder.
“Everything is packed and ready. I, you, Julia, Natalia, Quade, and Hank will be on one plane. The president’s team is leaving out of a different place at a different time. We don’t want anyone to be able to pick up anything. The president will be in Air Force One. Hank is a little easier because Letum is expecting him and a team. The CIA director’s team is the hardest, but they have some super secret plan or something.”
Harrison sounded much more like the teenager he should be instead of the soldier he’d become.
“Who is going to be in charge here without Quade?” I asked.
“Each specific unit has a squad leader. They all report to Quade, but they are completely competent in their own right,” Cole said.
“They’re just children,” I said softly.
Harrison looked at me with sad eyes. “We all are, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t capable. It doesn’t mean they aren’t capable. We are strong and smart and more developed than most army units. We can do this.”
I didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or me, but I took it, nonetheless.
“I want to say good-bye to James.”
Harrison pointed in the direction of the kids that were wrestling. “I think he is over by the knife wall with Kiya.”
I tugged Cole in that direction and stumbled toward a dark corner, only to find Kiya cuddled up to James’ side. He was tickling her arm. It was really cute.
“James, I am heading out. I won’t be back until … well, I will be back when I get back.”
James looked up at me. Fear and concern shown in the line creased in his forehead and the widening of his eyes. Kiya and he stood up. James now matched Cole in height. I didn’t know if it was because of his ability or if he had actually grown to the same height. I released Cole’s hand and leaned in to hug James.
He hugged me back, awkwardly at best.
“You are going to be great. We are going to be able to monitor the big parts of the mission from here. They will be sending us the communications from the gala.”
“You’re going to be fine. But Jue…” He leaned back and looked me in the eyes. “Do it. Stop them. Don’t let this be how our world ends.”
James had grown so much, my little brother no longer a scrawny boy. I hated that I missed it all. I had missed everything. Seven birthdays. He was more mature than I remembered being at his age; okay, that’s probably not true. I pulled him back close to me and hugged him tight, blinking back tears.
“I got this. I’ll call you when I can, okay?”
I pulled away.
Cole stuck his hand out toward my brother. “I’ll take—”
James stopped him, taking his hand. “Don’t say it. She can take care of herself, and if something goes wrong, I don’t want it on you,” he said in defiance. “I will see you two in a couple days. This will all seem like a bad dream soon.”
He released Cole’s hand and snaked his arm around Kiya’s waist.
Kiya reached for my arm. “Good luck. Kick ass out there.”
She gave us a sad smile. I nodded like I wasn’t scared. Like I didn’t feel the
weight of the situation pressing down on my shoulders. Cole turned me to him, and I blew out a breath I had been holding.
“That wasn’t really what I expected,” I said.
He folded me into his chest, and his warm lips pressed into the top of my hair.
“Come on, babe. We’ve got to go meet the rest of the team.”
I was going over a checklist in my head of the things I would need when I realized I wouldn’t need anything. What I needed would be provided and if I failed, if we failed … it didn’t matter, anyways. I sighed.
“Julia, we need you to try this on before you go, see if it needs any alterations while we are en route.”
I turned around the see Hank holding a garment bag.
“What is it for?”
“The gala. You, Cole, and I will be on the inside. You need to be dressed appropriately.”
My lips made the tiny shape of an “o” as I let Hank push me into an empty room with the garment bag in hand. I hung the dress against a break in the wall and slowly unzipped the bag. I never got to go to prom or do any of those regular high school kid things. I didn’t honestly think I would ever get to wear a gown, even on my wedding day.
I gasped as I held this gown in my hands. Stunning, to say the least. Black sequins covered the entire fabric. The neckline had a deep V but was still modest, with slight cap sleeves. I quickly stripped from my clothes and stepped into the dress, held my breath as I zipped the side. It fit like it had been personally tailored for me. I looked down at the sequins and gems mixed with taffeta that flowed from the portion of the skirt that flared out like a mermaid fin at the bottom.
I had to resist the urge to squeal and clap my hands. It was so pretty.
Two light knocks came at the door.
“I’m glad it fits, Julia. Now we’ve got a plane to catch,” Hank said from behind the panel.
Stupid asshat mind readers, I thought at Hank. I heard him laugh from the other side. I quickly undressed and zipped the gorgeous gown back into its sheath, wondering what shoes I would wear with a gown like that. I didn't have any of my five-inch heels that I wore every day in New York. I needed shoes to go with it, though. I thought at Hank. Shoes?