by Kristie Cook
“Dude. No,” Ike said in horror, as if that scenario would ever actually play out.
Everyone laughed and I took a bite of my mac-n-cheese, leaning into Eli’s side. I laughed as he plowed through his bowl. For a guy that wasn’t human, he could sure put away the food. That thought stopped me in my tracks.
He wasn’t human.
What kind of future could I have with a guy like that? Would we get married one day? Could he have kids? Would they be what he is if we did? Could I be with him knowing I’d get old and die and he’d just watch me do it?
Eli’s arm jerked on my back and he sucked in a long breath.
“Stop, Clara. Please,” he begged in a whisper into my neck. “Why are you all of a sudden so upset?”
“Nothing,” I answered.
“Clara-”
“Not here.”
He nodded and leaned back in his chair. He took a few deep breaths and then smiled uneasily at something someone at the table was saying. I turned back to my plate and tried to relax. I didn’t understand why I was only now thinking of those things. But I was young, why was I worried about them? I didn’t really believe in forever anymore anyway. Things and people can be taken from you whether you wanted them to be or not. I was tired of being attached to things and them leaving or turning out to not be what I thought.
***
The rest of the day was a blur. I tried to not think and just focus on my teachers and schoolwork but it was kind of impossible with Eli in every class. In Art we had to draw a pencil sketch of one of our football teams helmets. You’d think that would be easy but it wasn’t. At least not for me. I peeked at Eli’s as he was done … and it was a masterpiece. If a perfect portrait of a football helmet could be called that.
“What’s with you today?” he asked as he caught me looking.
“Nothing. What?” I said nonchalantly as I began to draw again.
I was struggling to put it mildly. Without a word he put his hand over mine on the pencil. He showed me how to turn it lower and sideways to make my short strokes. It smoothed out the lines instead of it being so fine and choppy.
“Thanks,” I told him. His arm went to the back of my chair, his heat was almost a tangible thing. “I suck at this.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Major suckage,” I disagreed.
He laughed and again guided my hand easily, not cheating and doing it for me, but showing me how to do it myself. He had a way of doing things so sweetly and carefully. It was intriguing.
“Mr. Thames,” the teacher called, “are you finished?”
“Yes, ma’am, I am,” he sang.
“Well, thank you for helping the less fortunate students.”
“Hey,” I muttered, vexed, but Eli just nodded to her and chuckled in my ear.
“You are not less fortunate. She just envies the talent in her classroom all day. She’s jealous of youthful, steady fingers.”
“Well, she’s not jealous of me,” I assured and looked at the picture. “Though with your help, Picasso, that may change. Thank you.”
“You are absolutely welcome,” he said and then inched a little closer. “Do you want to come over tonight?”
“Nuhuh.”
“Nuhuh?” he repeated disbelievingly. “What does that mean?”
“It means no,” I said with a giggle.
“I know what it means, you tart, I meant what do you mean?”
“I mean that tonight is reruns of Buffy ….or Vampire Diaries … or Angel. Take your pick.”
“I’m assuming these are television shows that portray the teenage angst and drama of high school whilst throwing in supernatural twists and danger?”
“Exactly,” I said amused.
“And you’re going to watch them tonight instead of coming to hang out with me?” he said incredulously. “Alone?”
“Eli, you’re cute, but you are no Salvatore.”
“I’m going to guess that you just insulted me,” he muttered dryly.
I burst out laughing and the teacher asked if she needed to move me. I shook my head and ducked behind his arm to stop the giggle. I thought for a second if what I was about to say would be ok. I had only ever brought home Tate as a dating material kind of boy before to the Pastor’s house.
“Why don’t you come over and watch it with me?” I suggested.
“You are serious aren’t you? What is so great about it?”
“Come over tonight and I’ll show you,” I countered.
He thought, his lips curling and twisting. I saw when I’d won. I could practically read on his face that he thought I was going to be trouble for him pertaining to getting my way. I smiled and kind of liked that idea. What girl wouldn’t?
“Alright, Clara Belle, you win. Can I at least take you to dinner?”
“Why don’t you just eat with us tonight? Mrs. Ruth won’t mind and she cooks enough food to feed a small army. She loves guests and this way they can get to know you a little and be really comfortable with my being with you all the time. Please?” I begged and smiled.
He seemed perturbed. I gave him a questioning look.
“I’m just thinking that it’s going to be impossible to say no to you. I’ve never in my life not been in control before,” he mused looking around the room. “It’s very strange.”
“I’m sorry?” I asked, not sure of his meaning.
He looked back at me and his smile broke all forms of concentration for me.
“I just meant that I’ve never wanted to give anyone anything. I’ve never done something for anyone or wanted to constantly be with someone. I’ve never been human before.”
“Well, I like you like this.”
“You only like me because you’re getting your way,” he said grinning.
“That is absolutely not true,” I taunted. “Although, I’m going to talk you into many things in the days to come,” he chuckled but I kept going, “I also enjoy your company.”
I smiled angelically and batted my eyelashes over exaggeratedly. He smiled, too, and softly played with my fingers under the table on my leg.
“I’m very much looking forward to it,” he said in a deep rumble.
I felt my cheeks tinge with pink a little and turned the promise ring on my finger so I’d have something to do. He smirked and looked up when the bell rang.
“Ok, I’ll meet you there in a little while. I have to go home and feed the bird,” he said.
“I forgot to ask you about that,” I mused. “You have a bird. That just seems strange for you.”
“It’s not actually my bird. It’s a long story. Cavuto is a nasty little piece of work that I would gladly be rid of.”
“Ok,” I dragged out, not completely understanding. “Cavuto is the bird’s name? Who names a bird that?”
“Come on, Clara,” he edged the topic away and pulled me from my chair. “The faster we go, the faster I can meet you at your house.”
“Ok,” I agreed reluctantly and grabbed my bag from the floor. “I’ll prep the fam for your arrival,” I said playfully.
“Sweet.”
He kissed my cheek and lingered for a moment. I felt my pulse speed but before I could hear the tell tale intake of his breath at my reaction, the teacher cleared her throat and hastily ejected us from the classroom.
He walked me to the street and then left for his house. I was just about to cross the four lane when someone said my name to get my attention behind me. I turned to see two girls, or Goddesses I should say. One was an Artemis of a girl with blazing red hair and big gold earrings. Her long white dress, belted with a gold and brown belt, reached her ankles. The other girl had long blond hair down to the small of her back and her tiny tank top showed her mid drift.
Her smile was a cruel copy of Dee’s and I felt my guard immediately snap to attention.
“Yes?”
“You’re Clara, right?”
“Yes,” I said cautiously and folded my arms. “Who are you?”
&nb
sp; The Artemis smiled and stepped forward a bit. She held her hand out to me.
“I’m Angelina. You go to school here?”
I looked at the books in my arm and back to her, trying to not show on my face how stupid that question had been.
“Yep.”
“Then I think … you’ve met my fiancÉ, Eli.”
Chapter Ten
My heart stopped. My hand dropped before it even reached her.
“Eli,” I repeated. “You’re engaged to Eli?”
“More than engaged really,” the other girl said. “They’ve known each other since they were kids. They were practically betrothed at birth. Isn’t that sweet?” she crooned and extended her hand. I took hers this time. “I’m Mara. He doesn’t know we’re in town. It’s a surprise.“
“It will be a surprise, I think,” I mused and tried to smile when all I wanted to do was hurl. “You know where he lives?”
“Yeah, we’re just headed to his place now.” She nudged the other girl and started to push her the way of Eli’s house. “Nice to meet you, Clara. Maybe we’ll see you around? We’ll be in town for a few days.”
“Yeah,” my mouth said but my head said heck no. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Bye.”
Eli was engaged, to a freaking gorgeous creature who was surprising him at his house as we speak. And he didn’t tell me. I marched across the street and slammed the door too hard. Harder than I wanted to but everyone was too busy to care.
My room was not the emotionless haven I wanted but I took it. I plopped face down on the bed and buried my face in my pillow. I wanted to cry but I refused. If I started, I’d spend all night doing so. It felt silly to cry over a guy I’d only known for a couple weeks anyway. But I just felt so connected to him. He cared about me, protected me, thought about me, he visited me at night when I closed my eyes and took me to sweet places. What other guy had ever done any of that and didn’t want anything in return?
The doorbell interrupted my internal tirade. I got up and glanced in the mirror. Ugh. I’d cried anyway. I wiped the smeared mascara from under my eyes and smoothed my hair back. The doorbell sounded again and I rolled my eyes and bolted down the hall, grumbling out loud.
“I’m sorry. I forgot I’m the only one in this house equipped to answer the door.” Just then I saw Mrs. Ruth with peas smeared down her shirt, one kid on her hip and another one crying at her feet for more Goldfish crackers. “Sorry,” I told her, because she had definitely heard me mumbling. “I’ll get it.”
“Thank you.”
She made her way back to the kitchen and I opened the door and … what the … the nerve!
“Eli? What are you doing here?” I asked harshly and almost slammed the door in his face when I saw him register how upset I was. His mouth opened, his eyes blinked, staying shut a little too long to be normal. “Stop it!” I snapped.
“You’re doing it, not me,” he countered. “What is wrong with you? I told you I’d come over after I took care of some things at the house. Did I take too long or something?” Then he inched forward a little and his voice dropped to sympathetic levels. “Are you crying? What happened?”
He looked genuinely clueless. It had to be an act. He was apparently an Oscar award winner because he’d fooled me this whole time.
“Are you through with your visitor so soon?”
“What? What visitor?”
“You can drop it now, Eli. She told me.”
“Who?” he asked, but then his face turned hard and I knew he knew. “Who?” he asked again, but harder and even held the door open further with a hand.
“Who do you think?” I asked softly, begging myself to not cry in front of him. “Your fiancÉ.”
His face took a shocked direction and that was confession enough for me. I slammed the door and ran back down the hall. He didn’t ring the door bell again like I thought he might. Well, that was it. He knew I knew and he was done with me. Good riddance. Boys!
That was what my head said, but the rest of me was devastated.
Was I not worth it? Was I not something that a guy would find precious and worth the trouble of being honest and straight forward with? Mike had always been a jerk to me and every other female on the planet. Tate had been good to me, but only to my face. Behind my back he was a cheating abusing idiot. And Eli. I thought I’d finally found someone who was going to be completely mine. I knew his secret! I thought that meant I was in a class all by myself, but apparently not.
I twisted the promise ring on my finger; the promise ring my mother had given me and made me promise her I’d follow it. She told me her and Dad’s story. About how she wished that they had waited until they’d gotten married but luckily, they’d still only ever been with each other. She said how it felt like her wedding night had been robbed from her because it was just like every other night, nothing special. She bought me this ring and made me promise.
I wondered if I’d ever find a guy who respected and loved me enough to want to wait for me. Instead, I found boys who lied and cheated and snuck around. It was ridiculous how much they didn’t care about my feelings at all. I felt so alone. I wanted to break down my mom’s bedroom door and fall into her lap to cry. Or knock on Dad’s office and sit on his couch with him while he scratched my head and listened to me babble. But that was no longer an option for me and it sucked royally.
I decided to call my sister. We were never really close, but I needed to talk to someone, anyone. And these days, it seemed to be slim pickings.
“Fannie?” I said when she answered.
“Don’t call me that,” she grumbled. “You know I hate it when you call me that.”
“Sorry, Fay. Old habits.”
“What’s up?” she asked and I could tell she didn‘t really want to be talking to me.
“I, uh … I just wanted to talk.”
“About what? I’m a little busy.”
“About … do you miss Mom and Dad?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course I do.”
“Do you miss me?” I asked. Her silence was a ringing in my ears. “I miss you. I know we weren’t really close, but I miss having you around.”
“Pastor’s treating you good, right?”
“Of course.”
“Then you’ve got nothing to complain about. You got lucky. Some of us had to fend for ourselves,” she said bitterly.
And there it was. The reason she had barely spoken two words to me since our parents death. She was angry that I got a place to stay and she had to re-enlist in the military, because she had no where else to go.
“I’m very grateful to them but I’m also a minor. I’m still in school. I’m not being treated better than you, I wasn’t given special privileges. Stop playing martyr, Fay. You always tried to act like I was spoiled.”
“You were spoiled, but that’s beside the point. I’m busy, I’m gonna go.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled.
“Look,” she sighed in exasperation, “I’m working, ok? I’ll call you later if you really need to talk to me and aren’t just sulking about a boy or something.”
“That’s what sisters are supposed to be for,” I countered.
“Not me. Bye, Clara.”
“Bye,” I said but she’d already hung up.
So, I hurriedly tried Addison’s number. If I didn’t get someone to talk to, I didn’t know what I’d do. Although, Addison hadn’t talked to me a whole lot since my parents died. She thought I blamed her on some subconscious level and avoided me like the uncomfortable situation I was. But I still felt like I could call her. So I tried.
It rang and rang. Then she picked up.
“Clara? Something wrong?”
“No, I just … wanted to talk to you.”
“Clara, I love you, but please don’t call me anymore. I can’t handle it. Do you know I’ve been in therapy for the past four months? Therapy, Clara!”
“Why are you in therapy?”
“Because of you!
” she yelled and I had to inch the phone away from my eardrum. “You blamed me for your parents' death. Do you know what that did to me?”
What the … Was she really turning the tragedy of the death of my parents around for me to feel sorry for her?
“I never blamed you, Addy. You’re the one who brought that up. I never, ever said that I blamed you. We went out to a movie, there’s nothing wrong with that. If I hadn’t been gone with you I’d probably be dead, too.”
“Oh! So now you’re suicidal? You wanted to die with your parents and I denied you that?” she yelled and once again I had to pull the phone back.
“What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? I just wanted to talk to my friend, about a guy.”
“Well, I’m not your friend anymore, Clara, I can’t be. It’s too hard for me to hear your voice and know that we can never be friends like before.”
“Why can’t we? I wouldn’t have called you if I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Please call Dee or someone else when you feel the need to unload on someone.”
Then she hung up.
It was the last straw, the final blow, the thingy that broke the camel’s back. The tears flowed and the sob raised and I bawled into my pillow. I hadn’t felt this abandoned and alone since my parents died. And I had absolutely no one to talk to about it.
But then, Eli was there. I knew he had dragged me into a Reverie and I tried to drag myself out. I pulled my eyelids up, but I couldn’t be rid of it. I looked around and saw it was blank. We were nowhere. It was all white and nothing else.
“I thought I’d cheer you up by letting you pick the place,” he explained behind me. I turned to look at him. “Ah, Clara,” he said, seeing my state. His face fell. “I’m so sorry. I have so much to explain.”
“I don’t really want to hear it,” I answered quietly without any real fire.
“I need you to,” he insisted. “You believe something that is a complete lie.”
“Eli, please don’t. Why do you feel like you have to torture me?”
“I’m not,” he assured and came close. He put his hands on the tops of my arms and spoke low. “Pick a place, anywhere you want.”
My mind immediately went to the night we’d spent in Pastor’s car at the docks. My cheeks burned at the memory and the fact that he knew why I chose this spot. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.