Dispersion

  “What about after your mother?” Jess asks, breaking the silence.

  “Annalise is a good name,” I say, emotion causing my voice to break. I’m not sure if I would want the result of Dominic’s rape to be named after my mother.

  I let out another deep breath as I internally struggle between being the man I know I should be and the weaker one who’s fighting to the surface.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  After spending all day together, only breaking for a quick dinner, I left to sleep in my own bed. She didn’t ask me to, but I felt like it was the right thing to do. I don’t want to push her too quickly.

  Right after waking this morning, I rushed over to Jess’s to walk her and Allison to breakfast.

  “By the way, when did you find out you were pregnant?” I ask as we walk down the hallway to the Mess Hall.

  Her step hitches, but she keeps walking. “I suspected right before we left Matt’s parents’ vacation home.”

  “Ahh,” I mutter as another piece clicks into place. I clear my throat. “That’s why you changed your mind and left with us—even though you wanted to stay.”

  “Yes,” she admits. “I needed Allison.”

  Allison smiles and squeezes her free hand.

  I swallow down the pain that she didn’t need me then, even though I wanted her so badly. None of that matters now, however.

  At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

  When we enter the room, everyone stares at us. While there was the anger yesterday, there is no shame in what they almost did. Holding her hand, I guide her through the line to get our food.

  No one says anything to us, and we sit at a table in the corner with Allison.

  Even though it makes eating the eggs and toast a little awkward, I keep my left arm around Jess’s waist in a fiercely protective gesture. Allison sits on her other side with Josie happily mumbling incomprehensible chatter.

  Jess warily eyes each person as they pass, but the message must have spread that she’s pregnant and not turning. Some people even stop by and mutter half-hearted congratulations. It’s amazing how quickly people are willing to forget their bloodlust and cast it away. It’s not easy to accept your own terrible nature.

  Leah eventually joins us. She sighs before forcing a tight smile.

  “That’s great news about the baby. The two of you are going to make wonderful parents.” Her eyes rest on my arm holding Jess.

  “Thank you, Leah,” Jess says, smiling a lot more warmly at her than when they first met.

  “It’s going to be an adventure, that’s for sure,” I say.

  “How far along—” Leah starts.

  Dominic, uncharacteristically unkempt and desperate, cuts her off. “I need to talk to you,” he says pointedly to Jess.

  Jess turns her head away from him and looks at me, eyes wide and desperate.

  “Not now,” I answer for her.

  He ignores me and addresses Jess again. “I need to talk to you.”

  Allison, probably recognizing the ticking time bomb that he is, leans forward to touch his arm. “Dominic, what—”

  “Now,” Dominic says, shrugging her off. His jaw is clenched in determination.

  After what he did, how could he have the audacity to want to be alone with her? I take a deep breath and try to remain calm.

  Jess opens her mouth, but I cut her off by whispering in her ear, “Let me handle this.”

  She nods in permission, her shoulders tight.

  I remove my hand from her waist and stand up, trying to ignore the six inches of height he has over me.

  “Let’s take a walk.”

  He shakes his head, causing sweat to fly from his brow. “No, I need to talk to Jess.”

  I lean in and speak in his ear. “You’re making a scene right now. We can go talk, the two of us, away from here. People are starting to stare.”

  His eyes sweep around us, finally recognizing the number of people gaping at him in fear. Without a word, he slumps his shoulders and walks toward the exit.

  I exhale. Now that the tension is dispelled, everyone quickly loses interest and returns to their conversations. I follow Dominic silently through the room.

  Once I go through the doorway, Dominic motions for me to join him in an empty space. Gathering my emotional fortitude for what’s about to happen, I confidently step into the room. Nothing he can say will change that Jess is mine and we’re back together.

  “Elliot…” he starts. “I need to talk to Jess.”

  I clench my fist and punch him square in the jaw. There’s a sharp pain in my right hand, but the satisfaction at seeing him fall back is much stronger. All along, I was wrong. The fact that we’re brothers doesn’t make it acceptable that he’s a terrible person. There’s no redemption for him—no good inside waiting for the right opportunity to come out. Pretending otherwise is idiotic.

  Slowly getting back to his feet, he runs his hands through his hair and I look him in the eye. The person staring at me isn’t the twenty-eight-year-old man who can control any situation. He’s a scared boy.

  “No, you don’t,” I say, my tone remaining firm. I don’t care how anxious he is; his train of thought needs to stop now.

  His panicked eyes, the exact same color as our father’s, stare into mine. I force myself to maintain the eye contact.

  “Elliot, I was up all night thinking about it. I need to talk to her,” he repeats.

  “You don’t,” I repeat.

  He runs his hands through his hair again as tears threaten to spill from eyes.

  “You don’t understand!” he exclaims in pain. “I lied about the test revealing she was pregnant when we were doing the testing. I was trying to protect her. I have to talk to her.”

  He makes a move toward the door. I block his exit. I’m not letting him go anywhere near her when he’s in this state. If I don’t nip this in the bud now, it’s going to be a lot worse for all of us. The boundaries need to be set.

  “The baby isn’t yours,” I say. I don’t want to leave any room for misinterpretation. I tilt my chin up and take advantage of my full height. Even though he’s still towering over me, he shrinks down.

  His eyes widen in a childlike dread. He’s never been so out of control before.

  “Elliot—”

  “I don’t care what you think. Assaulting Jess doesn’t give you any right whatsoever to be a parent. If you don’t step down, I’ll make you,” I threaten.

  Both of his hands thrum uselessly on his thighs as he stares across the room to avoid my steady gaze. A bruise is already appearing on his jaw.

  “My genetics…” he mutters. “My child.”

  I clench my fist, causing fresh pain. I step closer to Dominic, prepared to strike again. “If you try to lay any sort of claim on the child, I promise you’ll regret it.”

  Not trusting myself to keep from true violence, I walk out of the room, hands shaking in anger, and leave Dominic to stew in his own personal hell.

  I’m not able to abandon Dominic, however, because once I leave the room, Jonah is standing there, waiting for us to come out.

  “Let me guess: Silas wants to see us again?”

  Jonah, smirking at my tone, merely nods.

  “I know the way,” I say and push past him.

  From behind me, I hear him talk to Dominic and their subsequent footsteps. I don’t acknowledge them.

  Not entirely sure what to expect, I slam open the door to Silas’s office. Silas is sitting, with near-perfect posture, in his office chair. With the lights on much brighter than they were when we were last in the office, many more details of the room stand out. While there aren’t many decorations, what’s in the room is well thought out and precisely placed.

  The cabinets behind his desk each have one small token of the past on them. One of them has a fishing reel that might predate even the ones my grandfather collected. On the other is an old knife that, while it appears well-kept, has a small stain on the handle that coul
d be blood.

  “Take a seat,” Silas instructs.

  Without saying a word, Dominic sits down and raises his eyes to meet Silas’s. Whatever Silas sees in his expression causes his eyebrows to furrow in shock. He quickly recovers and gestures to the seat next to Dominic.

  “Elliot, you may sit as well.”

  “I’d rather stand.”

  Silas opens his mouth and then closes it. The two of us stare at each other, waiting on the other to make the first move.

  “Congratulations are in order, Elliot. Jess is indeed pregnant,” Silas starts.

  “That’s all you have to say?” I ask.

  “Yesterday’s events were…” Silas pauses as he considers his statement. “Unfortunate.”

  I scoff. “That’s putting it lightly. You almost murdered Jess in front of everyone.”

  He puts his hands up in placation. “I wanted to call you and your brother in here to speak, man-to-man, to make sure there are no hard feelings.” His attention lingers on Dominic’s slumped figure in the overstuffed chair.

  The bruise forming on his jaw almost makes me regret hitting him because Silas must be able to easily spot it. Even knowing that, I can’t get rid of the satisfaction. He deserves so much worse.

  My chest tightens. “You think because you call a situation unfortunate, I’ll forget that you almost killed Jess and my child?”

  Silas’s eyes don’t leave Dominic.

  “Your child?”

  “Yes,” I say with enough force that he finally looks away from Dominic. “My child.”

  I keep my expression guarded to hide how my stomach drops at the thought of having to raise my brother’s baby—after everything he’s done—and pretend it’s mine.

  Silas studies me as if he’s seeking a weak spot—or a lie.

  “Anything to add, Dominic? You’re uncharacteristically quiet today.”

  Dominic is hunched over in his chair, hair wild, lips tightly pursed. Dominic doesn’t have to say anything verbally right now; his body language is speaking volumes.

  “Elliot’s the father,” Dominic mutters. At least he’s saying the right thing. No matter what state he’s in right now, he knows that if he tries to lay any claim on the child, it will doom both Jess and the child.

  Silas tilts his head toward me in acknowledgment. “Very well, it’s your child, Elliot. Though, in our society here, children born out of wedlock are severely discouraged, though they’re still considered blessings, of course.”

  “Of course…” I mutter, wondering where he’s taking this.

  “As such, the two of you should be married before God. I don’t want any negative influences on the young here because of your sinning.”

  My eyebrows shoot up at his nerve. “That’s not something I’m willing to discuss.”

  I turn to leave the room.

  “Wait,” Silas calls out sharply.

  I freeze and turn back to face him. What does he want from me now?

  “I need to know that you or your brother aren’t going to retaliate against anyone here.”

  My cheeks flush in anger. “And what reason could we possibly have for that?”

  Silas stands up from his chair. I don’t back down.

  “I have you in my office, and I need to decide whether to let the two of you leave. Right now, Elliot, you’re so angry that I’m thankful you’re unarmed. Dominic, on the other hand, seems like he could snap at any moment. What reason do I have for not locking the two of you up until you calm down?”

  His raised voice causes Jonah to poke his head through the door.

  “Is everything all right?” Jonah asks, eyeing our stance warily. His hand automatically falls to the holster holding his gun at his side—his favorite toy to play with.

  Silas takes a deep breath and smiles tightly.

  “Yes. You can stay outside. If I need you, I’ll call you directly,” Silas says.

  “You should leave,” I add.

  Jonah’s entire body tenses at my dismissal. He’s grown accustomed to hearing it from Silas but not me. He slams the door, his words of anger still breaking through the doorway.

  Silas laughs quietly. “I’m here telling you that I worry I can’t allow you to rejoin the rest of the compound because the two of you are so unstable, and what do you do? You anger the man with the gun.”

  “What do you want?” I ask through my clenched teeth.

  He taps his fingers on his desk. “What do you want?” He repeats back to me.

  I let out a breath at his unexpected response. What do I want? I break eye contact with Silas and stare out at the sun shining through his window. I don’t want to be in the room with him. I want to be away from it all.

  “You shouldn’t let us stay here,” Dominic mutters and breaks my attention away from outside.

  “Why?” Silas asks.

  Dominic shrugs. “The longer we stay, the more likely events of violence will break out due to their fear.” He licks his lips. “To everyone here, I’m tainted and dangerous.”

  We can’t stay here. We’ve already had two dangerous times where some of us almost got killed. Luckily, Dominic has been able to talk us out of each of them, but one quick glance is enough to convince me that we can’t rely on him anymore.

  “We’re all going to leave the compound as soon as we’re able. It isn’t safe if we stay,” I announce.

  Silas blinks. “Why would you want to leave Veritas? With the culture we have here and protection we offer from the outside, it doesn’t make sense. You’re not thinking clearly. Your group needs to focus more on fitting in.”

  The sad part is, he’s sincere in his confusion and belief that his compound is so much better than anything offered anywhere else. How can the two of us interpret the same thing so differently?

  “We’re not the reason why we don’t fit into your culture here. We’re not the problem. It’s the environment,” I say. “I need to watch out for my family.”

  Silas clicks his tongue in thought. “You want to protect your family? I’ll give you two options. Either you go into protective custody until I deem you safe to reenter society, or you continue with our original plan of leading the mission to Potentia to bring back the technology for us.”

  “Did you not listen to what I said?” I ask. “We don’t want anything to do with this compound anymore. We’re done.”

  “I’m not letting you leave,” Silas says.

  “What? You can’t—” I start.

  “We had an agreement, boy. I let Dominic and Jess survive, even with their disgusting genetic mutations,” he spits out.

  Dominic tenses up…and amazingly doesn’t say anything.

  Silas continues. “If I wanted to, I could have Jonah dispatch a group of men to kill Jess, Allison, and the child. They could make it an accident. No one here would question it too much. I’ll tell them it was God’s will. They believe what I want them to believe.”

  I shouldn’t have left Jess’s side. I can’t protect her if we’re separated.

  “Is this the type of leader you want to be? You want to rule out of fear and oppression—by twisting your religion to suit your needs? From what I’ve heard about your grandfather, this isn’t the type of community he would want,” I say in a frustrated whisper.

  His eyes dart to the knife as he responds, “My grandfather would want Veritas to remain strong. I’m doing everything I can to further that vision and provide a safe home for everyone who lives here.”

  Dominic sits up straighter in his chair. “I’ll agree to lead the mission for you. We’ll go to Potentia to gather the equipment, and I will bring it back and personally set it up and train your team how to operate it to its fullest capacity,” he says, voice lower.

  I’m not letting us get separated again. There’s no guarantee that all of us will come back together again.

  “The rest of our group will be coming with us. We’re not leaving them behind in the hopes that you’ll maintain your word and protect them. Y
ou’ve already proven that you can’t do that,” I say.

  Silas turns his chair to look out the window. Almost absentmindedly, he grabs his knife off one of the cabinets. He rubs the handle where the blood spot is and tests the blade. A small red line appears on his finger where he cuts himself.

  Slowly, he rotates the chair back around, still playing with his knife.

  “They may travel with you, along with my own men to ensure you don’t attempt to run away without upholding your end of the bargain. You leave tomorrow morning.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. We’ll all be together.

  Silas redirects his attention to my brother. “And Dominic?”

  “Yes?” Dominic responds as he stands up from his chair, sensing the end of our impromptu meeting.

  “You will no longer be leading the mission,” Silas says. “Elliot will.”

  “What? Why?” Dominic asks, uttering the same internal questions I’m having about the change in plan.

  I carefully control my facial expression. Can I step up and take on this responsibility? I’d at least do a better job than Dominic or anyone else here.

  “You’re too unstable right now, Dominic, and not suited to lead. You will go to assist Elliot once you’re in Potentia, but I can’t place my men under your command as long as you’re in this state.”

  “But—” Dominic starts.

  Silas cuts him off with an impatient gesture of his hand. “That’s my compromise for allowing the rest of your group to join you. If you don’t like my terms, we can see what a few weeks in custody will do to change your mind.”

  I tug on Dominic’s arm. “Let’s leave.”

  He snaps his head around.

  “Now isn’t the time. It’s time to go, Dominic,” I say, hoping he won’t argue and make our situation worse.

  He yanks his arm away and pushes through the door in an angry sulk.

  “He’s your responsibility now,” Silas calls out as I exit his office.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I follow behind Dominic, keeping my distance. With his head down the entire time, he shuffles back to his room, closing his door.

  I knock. When his door doesn’t open, I knock again—harder—and wait.