by Tony Abbott
“Cool lettuce head,” said Mike, peering over Sean’s shoulder at the stranger.
“I think it’s a cabbage,” said Sean. “Those veins give it away. My mom bought one once but I didn’t like the way it tasted or—”
“STOP IT!” cried the alien, getting angry. He turned to Jeff and pointed a long, greenish finger at him. “You have the Head in your house and I want you to bring it to me! Now!” He rolled his big yellow eyes at Jeff. “Do it, or I’ll—” Then the alien jerked his big green head at Jeff.
Bweeeep! came a sound from the alien’s head. The creature stood up.
Jeff’s helmet started buzzing and sparking. “Let’s get out of here!” he cried, bolting from the stage. Sean and Mike jumped after him as the green-headed alien emerged from the box.
“Yikes!” cried Holly, grabbing Liz by the arm. “That guy’s costume is a little too real!”
“Who’s he? The wicked alien of the east?” gasped Liz. She hurtled out into the hallway after her friends.
Bweeeep! the alien screeched again. He leaped from the stage into the hall after them.
“Children, behave,” said Mrs. Carbonese.
“I want my head!” the alien cried.
“Whoa! And he’s got such a big one already!” yelled Mike. “Split up!” He and Holly ducked into a classroom as Jeff, Sean, and Liz raced down the main hall to the front of the school.
Slap! Slap! The alien’s large green feet slapped the floors behind them. The halls echoed loudly.
“He’s still after us!” cried Liz. “We’ve got to get out of here now!”
Jeff’s helmet wagged back and forth as he ran. His mind raced as he tried to make sense of what was happening. “He wants something at my house! Some kind of head. The answer is there! Maybe my mom and dad can help us!”
While Mike and Holly stayed at school, Jeff and the others rushed out the front doors, crossed Main Street, and raced down Birch Street to his house. The satellite dish on the roof wasn’t moving.
“Your parents aren’t home,” Liz said, slowing to catch her breath.
Jeff quickly opened the door and the three friends dived through, locking it behind them. Jeff looked out. “I don’t see him. Maybe we lost him.”
Then he turned to his friends. “Come on with me. We’ve got to check something out.” He began to climb the stairs, but didn’t go left into his room. He went right. Past his parents’ room. Then right again.
“Where are you going?” asked Liz, following close behind him.
Jeff stopped at the door to the attic.
“I’ve never been in this part of your house,” Sean said. “Is this the entrance to your dad’s office?”
Jeff breathed deeply. “I think so. I’ve never gone farther than this door.”
Errch! The attic door opened with a little squeak. Inside was a set of shiny metal stairs with little white lights running up the sides.
“I hope you know not every house has secret rooms like this,” said Liz, following Jeff slowly up the metal stairs.
At the top of the stairs was a solid metal slab. A digital keypad was set in the middle of it. In big red letters across the door was written DANGER.
The keypad beeped as Jeff tapped in some numbers. “One-two-two-eight-eight-five.”
“How did you know that?” asked Sean.
“A voice in my brain told me,” Jeff said.
“I’d like to hear that voice the next time I have a math test,” Sean whispered to Liz.
Vrrrrt! The metal door slid aside, showing a vast room, glowing and twinkling with computer lights and dozens of TV screens. Stenciled on everything was Property of U.S. Government.
Through a skylight in the ceiling they could see the big satellite dish.
“Awesome!” gasped Sean. “This is where your dad works?”
“It’s a total high-tech communications center,” said Liz. “I think.”
A secret room in his own house, Jeff thought. Why did his parents keep so many secrets from him?
Jeff ducked under the door so he wouldn’t catch his Cosmic Boy helmet. He crossed the room and stood before a small silver panel on the wall. He tapped numbers into its keypad. “Zero-two-one-zero-nine-zero. It’s that voice again.”
Vrrrrt! The panel opened. And there it was.
A yellow dome rested on a stand. The dome had fins flying up the back and a long antenna coiling out of the top. On each side of the antenna were silver spoon-shaped panels catching the light as they turned. There were fancy silver nozzles, too.
“It’s a helmet!” gasped Jeff.
“It’s a helmet, all right,” agreed Sean. “But it’s way cooler than yours!” He read the letters along the rim. “Zaldoonian Mezmo Head.”
“That’s what he wants!” gasped Jeff.
“And now—I have it!” cried a raspy voice.
The three friends turned. There he was, the cabbage-headed alien, at the bottom of the stairs.
His greenish leafy head pulsed as he spoke. “I am Klatoo, a Mezmo from the planet Zaldoon. And that is my official Mezmo Head. It’s a mind control helmet. My ship went down last night and I lost the Head. I heard the buzzing at the X-ray place and thought my helmet might be in there. Then, I picked up signals from your brain. So I knew the Mezmo Head was here!”
“Wow, thanks for the explanation,” said Sean. “It’s pretty complete.”
The alien smiled. “I have studied earthlings. They always want to know things like that.” Suddenly he rolled his giant eyeballs again and snatched the Mezmo Head right off its stand.
“No!” cried Jeff. “You can’t have it!”
“Now,” said Klatoo, grasping the complicated device, “I shall conquer the world!”
Just then, a loud, thundering sound filled the air!
4
Mind Games
THONKA! THONKA! THONKA!
Jeff’s whole house shuddered. The floor quaked. The windows rattled.
“A helicopter is circling the house!” said Liz.
“It’s my mom and the U.S. Army!” cried Jeff, looking out the window. “They’ll get you!”
“Pish-posh!” Klatoo snarled, putting the sparking, whirring helmet on his head. “I shall easily defeat them.”
Before the kids could make a move, Klatoo leaned out the window and fired a jagged purple beam from the helmet’s fancy silver nozzle.
BA-ZOOOSH! The helicopter suddenly dipped and spun around. Then it began flying figure eights over the Ryans’ front yard.
“Get dizzy!” Klatoo snarled. Then he slowly floated out the window and over the house.
Jeff blinked. He shook his itchy head. “Did I just give the Mezmo Head helmet to that guy?”
“Uh, I don’t think he’s really a guy,” Sean said. “His name is Klamez from Motoo, or something. And I think you just gave him, like, the ultimate power in the universe!”
“Oh, man,” Jeff groaned. “This day is not going well.”
“Come on, guys,” said Liz. “Klatoo is floating toward the center of town. We’ve got to follow him.”
The three kids dashed from the house and down the sidewalk. But when they reached Main Street, they stopped and stared.
Standing in the middle of the street was a giant green tower, rising hundreds of feet from the ground. A large saucer-shaped thing lay flat across the top, like a hat.
“This is new,” said Jeff.
“I didn’t notice it this morning,” mumbled Sean. “It sure changes the skyline.”
“Hey, you guys, wait up!” cried a distant voice.
The three kids turned to see Holly and Mike running over to them, out of breath.
“We were at school,” said Holly, staring up at the tower. “But then all the teachers and parents got strange. Well, stranger.”
“Yeah, and now I guess we know why,” added Mike, gaping at the new thing on Main Street. “Do you think someone’s trying to take over? Or would that be too weird?”
“Klatoo is ou
r leader!” someone yelled.
Suddenly a large crowd of grown-ups marched out onto Main Street. It looked like the entire adult population of Grover’s Mill.
“We’re doomed! We’re doomed!” Mike cried. “It’s too late. They’ve already taken over! All is lost! Our lives are finished!”
“Calm down, Mike.” Holly looked over at her friends. “Mike wants the part of the Cowardly Lion. He’s practicing.”
“But it does look pretty bad,” said Jeff.
In the crowd were Rob and Bob Dunk, the Double Dunk Donut Den twins, selling pastries out of big boxes.
“Klatoo Krullers! Mezmo Muffins! Jelly Zaldoons!” they called out with glee.
Mike blinked. “Hmmm. Food. Well, maybe it’s not so bad.”
The crowd began chanting.
Klatoo is a Mezmo from Zaldoon,
He is and was!
Klatoo wants to conquer Earth real soon,
Oh, yes, he does!
“I sure don’t like the sound of that!” Jeff said.
At the end of the long parade, Klatoo himself appeared, being carried on a portable throne like some kind of king.
Liz shook her head and searched the crowd. “This is creepy. At least my mom hasn’t gone nuts for the alien.”
“Nuts for the alien!” cried a voice. “Get your nuts for the alien here!”
Liz wheeled around to see her mother strolling through the crowd selling little bags of nuts.
“Now Klatoo has gone too far!” snarled Liz. “Taking over my mom is just too much!”
The silver nozzles on the alien’s amazing Mezmo Head mind control helmet were whizzing around. They pointed at people and shot green beams at them.
Zaaap! The beams hit everyone in the same spot—right on the tops of their heads! Everyone marched faster when the green beams hit them.
“Klatoo is too-too-rific!” someone yelled.
“Wow, that beam really works,” said Holly.
“He’s zapping their brains!” Sean cried out. “He wants us all to be his mind slaves! He wants us to do what he thinks! He wants to rule our world!”
“And I let him get the helmet,” Jeff muttered. He was quiet for a while. “We can’t just wait for him to take over. We have to do something.”
Suddenly Klatoo held up a green hand. The parade stopped. Everyone looked into his big yellow eyes and smiled big smiles at him as he stepped down slowly from his porta-throne.
“Look at the Zoners,” said Liz. “This is too gross.”
Klatoo strode across the street to the kids, his large green feet slapping the pavement. Slap! Slap! He stared at the kids. His helmet sparked.
“What do you think of my tower?” the leafy alien asked them in his raspy voice. “Wait, don’t tell me! I’ll just read your minds!” The thick veins on his forehead twitched. “Oh! Planning to overthrow me, are you? Why, you’re just children! On Zaldoon, children are … pish-posh!”
“Pish-posh?” said Liz. “Is that a technical alien term?”
Klatoo only grinned a grim grin. The crowd closed around him and lifted him over to the giant green tower. He floated up slowly and disappeared inside the saucer at the top.
“One, two—Klatoo!” someone cheered. “Three, four—control us more!” With that, the crowd jerked away stiffly down Main Street. A moment later, the five kids were alone.
“This is major depressing,” said Liz. “An alien has singlehandedly taken over our town since breakfast.”
“Yeah,” said Sean. “What are the odds?”
A sinking feeling hit Jeff, too. “I gave Klatoo the Mezmo Head. Now he’s the most powerful alien in the world. And it’s all my fault.”
“It’s okay, Jeff,” said Sean, patting him on the shoulder. “We’ll figure something out. We’ll use our heads. Our brains are crammed with ideas, right?”
“Hey,” said Holly, her face brightening. “Maybe that’s why Klatoo can’t control kids. Our brains are too filled up with stuff to do, thoughts and things. You know, pish-posh.”
KA-SHOOMBA! A crater suddenly exploded out of the sidewalk right next to the five kids.
“Yikes!” screamed Mike, glancing up at the saucer. “He’s shooting his head at us!”
At the top of the tower Klatoo adjusted his Mezmo Head helmet for another shot. “Two degrees left …”
“Watch out!” cried Liz. “That helmet’s not just for mind control. It’s for mind blowing up! Run, he’s gonna blast us!”
The five friends scrambled across the street to the only open door they could find, the door of the X-Rays Us Medical Clinic.
Zzzzzt! went the X-ray machine.
“I’m not going in there again!” cried Jeff.
“Dive, or die!” yelled Sean, pushing Jeff ahead of him. Jeff tripped headfirst into the clinic, catching his foot on a work table. He fell toward the enormous X-ray machine.
BLAMMO! Klatoo’s beam blasted the roof, tore through the ceiling, and exploded on the machine, just as Jeff fell.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
A sharp beam from the X-ray machine hit Jeff squarely in the center of his Cosmic Boy helmet.
The room filled with a million volts of energy.
So did Jeff’s head.
5
The Power of Power!
The room darkened with thick clouds of blue smoke. A moment later, it cleared.
“Jeff, are you okay?” asked Sean, picking himself up from the floor and stumbling over to Jeff. “You’ve got a very weird look on your face.”
“Not to mention the very weird shine coming from your head,” added Mike, pointing to Jeff’s plastic Cosmic Boy cap. “Your helmet! It’s … glowing!”
Jeff reached up and touched the tips of his antennas. Zzzzz!
“Ouch! I got a shock!” Jeff blinked. “I feel … sort of strange. Did you see what just happened? It’s like all the energy in the galaxy zapped into my head at the same time!”
“Your head must feel kind of crowded,” said Holly, rubbing her elbows where she fell.
Jeff stretched his jaw and bent his neck “I can hear stuff, faraway stuff. And if I close my eyes, I can see … I think it’s … TV.”
“Wow, can you get cable now?” asked Mike. “What’s on?”
“Wait … I … I can see through these walls right into the street!” Jeff went on. “I guess I sort of have X-ray vision! I can even see what Klatoo is up to at this exact moment. And, sniff, sniff, I can … smell stuff … Whew! What is that?”
“Probably your fried brain,” said Liz. “That cannot have been good for you. I mean, look at you. Your head is practically on fire!”
Jeff tingled all over. His brain buzzed with energy and millions of thoughts, ideas, plans. For the first time in his life, things seemed crystal clear. Yes, Grover’s Mill was the center of intergalactic weirdness. No doubt about that.
“I know!” Jeff blurted out. “Yes! I know that, too! And that and that, too!” His brain easily answered thousands of questions that had bothered him for years. Like, why do we yawn?
“Wow! That X-ray machine beamed an energy stream right to the center of my brain,” Jeff said. “And I know everything!”
“What are X-rays anyway?” asked Holly.
Everyone shrugged. Except Jeff.
“X-rays are electromagnetic radiation created when electrons of very high energy bombard matter!” Jeff blurted out. “I’m pretty sure.”
Sean’s eyebrows went up. “Well, the X-rays zapped you, pal. They zapped you good.”
“Sean is right,” said Holly. “All that energy in you? We’d better get you to a doctor now.”
Zzzzt! went the Cosmic Boy helmet.
“I guess,” Jeff nodded. Then he jerked his head up. “But, first, I feel a strange need to …”
Jeff leveled his gaze at Mike. He blinked. His eyes seemed hot. Sparks shot off the antennas on his head. Then Mike began to rise in the air. Jeff stared and Mike started to spin in a circle.
“Incredible!”
gasped Sean, an amazed smile spreading across his face. “Unbelievable!”
“Hey!” cried Mike. “Can I come down now?”
“Hmm,” said Jeff, with a frown. “Strangely, I don’t seem to know how to do that. I only know how to make you go—faster!”
“Whoa!” cried Mike, bumping faster and faster as he whipped around the ceiling.
While Mike was spinning, Liz’s eyes grew wider and wider. She stepped over to the X-ray machine, then looked up at Jeff. “You’re right,” she said slowly. “The blast must have channeled incredible energy right to the center of your brain. Jeff, you have super powers!”
“I know,” Jeff said to her, still watching Mike.
“No, Jeff,” Liz went on, “I mean you’re different now. Like guys in costumes in comic books. You’re a—superhero!”
Sean was wide-eyed, too, as Mike spun faster and faster. “It’s true, Jeff. You do have powers. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It’s what everybody’s always wanted!”
“I feel kind of sick up here,” Mike groaned.
Holly gasped. “Jeff, that blast made you Cosmic Boy. You’re the answer to our problem!” The others nodded.
Jeff listened, his eyes still fixed on how he was making Mike fly on the ceiling. Cosmic Boy. The words sounded magical. His new name. He remembered playing Cosmic Boy when he was young. A grin spread across his face. “Yes!”
“You’re our hero,” said Sean. “There’s nothing you can’t do. Cabbage heads? Ha! You can take out aliens easy. Remember the call. Ahoy! Cosmic Boy!”
Zzzzz! Jeff’s helmet screeched.
“Shhh! I’m picking up a signal!” He cupped his hands behind his ears, still watching Mike going around and around. “I hear Klatoo! He’s talking to someone named King Greblak on Zaldoon. Klatoo’s saying he’s going to erase the minds of everyone in Grover’s Mill. Greblak is telling him to hurry. He sounds mad. He wants to invade Earth … by tonight!”
“Only aliens would think of that!” said Holly.
Jeff cocked his head again. “Klatoo’s going to tell them when to send more spaceships!”
“We can’t let him do this,” Liz said. “We have to stop Klatoo before he sends that message. We have to stop that invasion!”