Beyond the Sea: A Modern Gothic Romance

by L.H. Cosway

  “We’re not talking about this anymore,” I said, pointing my finger at Aoife. “I already have a hard enough time sleeping. I don’t need to make matters worse by believing I’m sharing a house with a murderer.”

  I marched down onto the beach and sat on the sand. Aoife sat beside me and threw her arm around my shoulders. “I’m only playing with you. I’ve just never seen you with a crush before, and I can’t help teasing.”

  “Yeah, well, even if I do have a crush, I won’t be doing anything about it.”

  “Why not?”

  “He’s too old for me for a start.”

  “No, he isn’t. He’s only what? Twenty-four? Twenty-five? And you’re going to be nineteen soon. A few years is nothing. It’s not like he’s some Leonardo DiCaprio type.”

  “Maybe,” I said, not wanting to argue with her further. Aoife was like a dog with a bone sometimes, and once she got an idea in her head, she didn’t let up.

  Jimmy came and sat down on the other side of her, and we shared the bottles of lager I’d stolen. Faint music drifted down from the house, but I tried to ignore it and focus instead on the rhythmic sound of the waves crashing against the shore. I both loved and hated this place, because although Ard na Mara was full of tension and unhappiness for me, the sea was a nearby reprieve from all that. I found solace in its vastness, in the strange calm it managed to instil.

  Aoife, Jimmy and I drank two bottles of Budweiser each. I felt loose and tipsy as we sat on the beach for over two hours, talking and joking around. When it finally came time for them to go, I waved them off and started making my way back up to the house, hoping the party was over. I stumbled a little on a rock and had to pause a moment to steady myself.

  I was almost to the house when I stopped dead in my tracks. Noah stood in the middle of the garden. I barely saw him except for when he took a drag of his cigarette and the orange glow illuminated his face.

  “Wh-what are you doing out here?”

  “I smoke out here.”

  I wrinkled my face. “Why? Vee smokes in the house all the time.”

  “Sometimes I prefer to come outside. It’s more refreshing,” Noah replied.

  “I think the act of smoking is the opposite of refreshing,” I countered. “It’s a very unhealthy habit.”

  “If you knew what I’ve been though, you’d forgive me the vice.”

  I studied him now, realising that, like me, he’d had a bit to drink. Right then he seemed untamed, and I had the momentary urge to flee. But I wouldn’t do that.

  No, I was far too enraptured to act sensibly.

  “Tell me what you’ve been through,” I whispered so quietly it was almost lost on the wind.

  Noah took several steps until he stood directly before me. Reaching out, he caught my chin, his thumb brushing the underside of my jaw. “Why? Do you want to kneel down and say a prayer for me, Estella?”

  His voice was sinful, and I shuddered at his question. “I just want to understand you.”

  He shook his head. “I wouldn’t utter such things to innocent ears.”

  “I’m not innocent,” I said, lost in his eyes.

  “Only the innocent protest their innocence,” he replied. His hand moved from my chin to cup my entire jaw. I inhaled sharply, goose bumps rising on my skin.

  “Is the party over?” I asked, swaying toward him slightly.

  “Yes,” he answered, his voice thick with something I couldn’t quite discern.

  “Do you like how I look tonight?” I went on, tipsiness eradicating my filter.

  There was a long pause before he murmured, “I like how you look all the time. That’s the problem.”

  “Why is it a problem?”

  “Because you’re not meant for me,” he said, somewhat mournfully.

  I gazed up at him, and our breaths mingled. I couldn’t help staring at his mouth. “Why can’t I be?” I must’ve had a terribly needy expression on my face because Noah looked at me sadly. All I wanted in that moment was to kiss him. It was an urge I suddenly realised I’d been suppressing for a while.

  His thumb brushed my lower lip. “You just can’t.”

  I pouted. “That’s not a reason.”

  “It’s the only one I have to give you.”

  “I want you,” I whispered desperately. If I were sober, I’d never admit such a thing. Something hot and needful blazed in Noah’s eyes. His mouth moved to my ear, and I felt his warm breath hit my skin. “Go to your room then. Touch yourself. Think of me.”

  I trembled, lowering my gaze. I couldn’t look at him. I’d never felt so embarrassed and aroused in my life. I squeezed my thighs together, unable to move as he pressed a quick, barely-there kiss to the underside of my jaw and stepped away. Without another word, he turned and walked back to the house. I stood frozen in place, feeling so incredibly alive. He’d barely touched me, but I felt him everywhere.

  I allowed myself a minute before I went to my room. I’d never admit it, but I did exactly as he told me.

  ***

  “I heard you two tried to hang out with us at the castle on Saturday night, and Kean Riordan kicked you out,” Sally snickered with satisfaction as we stood in the gym, the P.E. teacher instructing us to jog on the spot.

  “He didn’t kick us out,” Aoife responded, slightly out of breath. “We left of our own accord.”

  “If that’s what you want to believe,” Claire added snidely. The two of them stood directly behind us, flanked by their minions. I was trying my best to ignore them because I was exhausted and cranky, and I feared I might finally snap. I’d had terrible nightmares all weekend, barely getting a wink of sleep.

  This morning I came to school early so I could spend some time on the computers in the library before class began. I’d printed out a bunch of information about sleep paralysis and planned to read it later today when I got home.

  “Kean also mentioned something about you, Estella,” Sally said, and my hackles rose. I wished I could ignore her, but the destructive side of me wanted to hear what she had to say.

  “What did he say?” I asked in a low voice.

  “Oh, just how you two are neighbours, and you’re always following him around like a lovesick puppy. Did you come to the castle to stalk him? Because that’s pathetic, even for you. Someone like Kean would never be interested in you.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was her cruel tone or the fact that Kean had lied about me, but in that moment, I wasn’t in full control of my actions. As if possessed by a demon, anger took over me. I turned around and smacked Sally right across the face. Her hand went to her cheek, and she stared at me in shock for several seconds before she came at me, grabbing my ponytail and yanking down hard. My scalp screamed in pain as she pulled, and my hands came up in defence. I pushed at her chest then reached up to pry her hands from my hair. A pained cry escaped me, but she wouldn’t let go. The students around us gasped in shock, some of them making noises of excitement that a fight had broken out.

  “Let go of her, you bitch,” Aoife spat, trying to pull Sally off me. I dug my nails into her arm. She squealed and finally let go, but not before the loud ring of the P.E. teacher’s whistle sounded.

  “What’s going on over there?” he demanded as he came striding through the gymnasium.

  “She started it,” Sally protested, her cheek still red from my slap.

  “Yeah, she did,” Claire agreed. “I saw the whole thing.”

  “Estella didn’t start it,” Aoife cut in, eyes narrowed at Sally. “She’s been running her mean mouth at us through this entire class.”

  “That’s enough,” the teacher scolded, his attention coming to me and Sally. “Miss Shannon and Miss O’Hare. Report to Principal Hawkins’ office right now.”

  And that was how I found myself sitting several chairs away from a scowling Sally. We’d both been informed that our parents were on their way to talk to the principal. I wondered at that since I couldn’t imagine Vee leaving the house to come down to the school f
or me.

  It all made sense when twenty minutes later the door swung open, and Noah strode in. I tensed at the sight of him, shivering as I remembered Saturday night. He’d been gone all day Sunday, so I hadn’t seen him since. He glanced at me momentarily, one eyebrow raised as he took me in. I still wore my sweaty P.E. clothes, my ponytail askew.

  “Can I help you?” the receptionist asked. Noah turned to face her.

  “Yes, I’m Veronica Shannon’s brother. My sister is unreachable at present, so I’m here to see Principal Hawkins in her place.”

  I didn’t look at Sally, but I knew she was paying full attention. She gave a quiet scoff, “Is he your uncle? There was me thinking you actually had a boyfriend. I should’ve known.”

  The receptionist nodded, eyeing Noah up and down appreciatively before she picked up her phone to inform the principal of his arrival. He turned back around, taking a few steps closer as he eyed both Sally and me.

  “Some fight. Neither of you are even bleeding,” he commented, amused.

  “Your niece is a psycho,” Sally hissed. “She attacked me.”

  Noah focused on her. “How?”

  Sally’s forehead crinkled. “How what?”

  “How did she attack you?” Noah elaborated. I enjoyed how he used a tone like he was talking to a stupid person.

  Sally lost some of her confidence. “She slapped me across the face.”

  Noah chuckled as he cast his attention back to me with a tut. “What are you doing doling out love taps? Did I teach you all those death points for nothing?”

  Sally paled. I smiled at Noah. He was officially back in my good graces. “I didn’t want to kill her,” I replied in a serious voice. “I just wanted to shut her up.”

  “Got a big mouth, has she?”

  “The biggest.”

  “Hey! I’m sitting right here,” Sally complained just as the door to Principal Hawkins’ office opened. He stepped out and froze mid-step, staring at Noah like he’d just seen a ghost. Odd. A moment later, he straightened, cleared his throat and gestured for us to enter. I shot Sally a parting smirk, following Noah into the office.

  “Please take a seat,” said Principal Hawkins, glancing at Noah uneasily. “I had no idea you were back.”

  “You must be thrilled to see me,” Noah replied, looking supremely satisfied by my principal’s apparent unease. I was puzzled by the odd tension. There was clearly some kind of history between them.

  Hawkins shifted uncomfortably. “Veronica wasn’t available?”

  “My sister is otherwise engaged,” Noah said, leaving out the rest. With a bottle of vodka.

  Principal Hawkins nodded. “R-right, well, Estella has gotten herself into quite a bit of trouble today. A number of witnesses have stated they saw her start the fight with Miss O’Hare.”

  Noah glanced at me, looking impressed, then levelled Hawkins with a cocky expression. “My family enjoys throwing the first punch.”

  Principal Hawkins swallowed tightly. “We do not condone violence in this school.”

  Noah tilted his head, almost threateningly. “Just outside of school then?”

  For a moment, the principal seemed shaken. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He looked scared of Noah. Then finally, he got a handle on himself and replied, “We take matters like this very seriously. Normally, Estella would be suspended for an entire week, but since this is her first offence, and she’s usually very well behaved, I’ll only suspend her for two days.”

  Noah chuckled. “Very magnanimous.”

  The principal sputtered. “Are you challenging me, Mr. Dylan?”

  Noah didn’t respond, instead turning to me. “What do you think about two days off school, Estella? We can get mani-pedis.”

  I resisted the urge to laugh. The image of going to a beauty salon with Noah was surreal to say the least. I found it oddly thrilling how dismissive he was being to my principal, like he respected my opinion more than his. “I started the fight. At least the physical part of it, so I guess I should take the punishment.”

  “What do you mean, the physical part?” Principal Hawkins questioned, momentarily distracted from Noah’s obvious disrespect.

  I looked to him, feeling a change in me. A few weeks ago, I never would’ve said what I did next, but Noah’s appearance in my life gave me a new confidence. His zero fucks given attitude was rubbing off on me. I guess that was why I hit Sally today.

  “Sally’s a bully. She says horrible things to me and to lots of other girls at school all the time.”

  “Why haven’t you come to me with this before?” Principal Hawkins asked, pursing his lips.

  “Would you have done anything about it if I had?” I asked back boldly. Noah gave a low sound of approval.

  “Of course, something would be done. We don’t tolerate bullying the same way we don’t tolerate fights.”

  “Okay, well, now you’ve been told so you can do something about it.”

  Noah sat back, folding his arms in delight as he gave a whistle. “She has you there, John.”

  Hawkins scratched his head, looking perturbed and not very thrilled about Noah referring to him by his first name. Finally, he stood from his desk. “Two days suspension, and I don’t want to hear about any more fights between you and Miss O’Hare once you come back to school. She’ll face a two-day suspension also, and I’ll talk with her father about the bullying issue.”

  “See that you do,” Noah said, standing, too.

  Principal Hawkins walked us out, a flustered look on his face as he gave Noah a wide berth. Okay, I needed to find out what had happened between them because I’d never seen my principal act so strangely.

  Sally still sat in the waiting area, shooting me a venomous glance from across the room as we left. I spotted Vee’s car outside and was slightly disappointed Noah hadn’t come on his bike. The thrill of being on the back of it, the exhilaration that filled me, was exactly the kind of pick me up I needed right now.

  I climbed into the passenger seat while Noah started the engine. “Thanks for coming,” I said quietly.

  “I answered the phone when they called,” Noah said with a shrug. “Didn’t have anything else to do. Thought it might be fun to fuck with Hawkins.”

  “Was it fun?”

  He grinned, his gaze running down my exercise clothes. “I always have fun putting dickheads in their place.”

  “Hawkins is a dickhead?”

  Noah got a violent look in his eyes. “Oh yeah, a real piece of shit.”

  I stared at him, eyebrows drawn. In my experience, Hawkins could be strict, but he wasn’t the worst. Also, since the school was all-girls, Noah clearly hadn’t attended here, so how did he even know that much about Hawkins? It must’ve had something to do with his parents being friends with him.

  “Did something happen between you two?”

  “You could say that.”

  I made a sweeping hand gesture. “And …?”

  Noah’s eyes met mine, and there was a heat in them that made me flush. He didn’t elaborate like I requested, instead his voice dipped low. “Did you think about me the other night?”

  I blinked. My body stiffening at his unexpected change of subject. I completely forgot my earlier line of thought because I’d never felt more embarrassed or self-conscious. I had thought about him. I thought about him quite a bit.

  He must’ve seen the guilt written all over my face because he chuckled low. “I bet you came hard.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered.

  He glanced at me, arching an eyebrow. “No?”

  “No,” I stated firmly.

  Noah didn’t say anything else, instead focusing his attention back on the road. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, choosing to stare intently out the window.

  “Did Vee enjoy her party?” I asked a few minutes later, needing to break the thick, inescapable tension.

  “More or
less.”

  “I don’t know why you threw it. She didn’t deserve a party.”

  He frowned. “You don’t think so?”

  I shook my head, taking in his handsome profile, masculine yet delicate in a way. Aoife was right. His face really was full of shadows. And I had a sneaking suspicion Vee was the one who put them there.

  “Noah,” I said, my tone serious.

  He glanced at me briefly, “Yes?”

  I swallowed for courage, then asked. “Did Vee treat you the same way she treats me?”

  He appeared perplexed. “What do you mean?”

  “Was she cruel to you when you were a boy?”

  I didn’t know how I thought he’d react, but I certainly didn’t expect the burst of uproarious laughter that erupted from him. He threw his head back, his laugh manic, but he never answered the question. He kept on laughing as he pulled into the driveway at Ard na Mara, and I started to feel annoyed and upset. What on earth was so funny?

  “Okay, if you’re going to be childish, I’m leaving,” I said, opening the car door and stepping out. He was still chuckling when I reached the house. Why did he have to be so odd? His laughter felt offensive. It made me feel stupid and I had no idea why.

  12.

  I went to my room and studied the information I’d printed out about sleep paralysis. I was fully absorbed in reading through the symptoms when I heard hard footsteps stomping toward my bedroom. My door burst open, and Vee flew inside, her expression contorted with rage.

  “You were suspended from school!” she yelled. “How dare you misbehave like that! I should kick you out onto the street right now.” My heart pounded. Tears instantly pricked at my eyes from being shouted at. My throat tightened at the crazed look on her face. Had Noah told her? Why the hell would he do that? He knows what she’s like with me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, terrified of what she might do.

  “I just had Matt O’Hare on the phone, berating me because my cretin of a stepdaughter attacked his precious Sally,” Vee went on. So, Noah hadn’t ratted me out? At least we were still keeping each other’s secrets.