by L.H. Cosway
Sally scowled. I chuckled. We finished eating our sandwiches and dug into my mini birthday cake. Siobhan had helped Aoife make it. I’d been carrying my cross in my pocket because I always liked to have it with me. Aoife helped me slide it onto the chain and secured the clasp around my neck. I felt so much better to be wearing it again.
I was in an unusually chipper mood as I walked home from school along the beach. Victor hadn’t appeared to me since the night of the séance, and I held onto the belief that it wasn’t real. That the glass of wine messed with my head or something.
That could be it, right? So many ghost stories were recounted by people who were intoxicated during the encounter.
Something in my gut told me I was living in denial.
I entered the house, dropped my bag on the floor and went to see what was in the cupboard for dinner. I was deciding between a tin of baked beans and an old packet of minestrone soup that was a couple weeks past its sell-by date when Noah’s angry voice drifted down from the living room.
“You can’t just go on lying to her like this. It isn’t fair!”
“It’s none of your business,” Vee retorted. “Why are you so concerned anyway? She’s nothing to you.”
“She’s something to me,” he said, voice low.
I frowned, wondering what they were arguing about. Vee had cut down on her alcohol intake and was doing a lot better of late. She’d also been less strict with me, mostly ignoring me and leaving me to my own devices instead of bossing me around and ordering me to do chores like she normally did.
“What’s going on?” I asked hesitantly as I entered the living room. I looked between the two of them. Noah’s posture was strung tight, his jaw ticking with fury. Vee stood with her arms folded, her expression defensive. Both of their gazes landed on me, and Vee appeared almost fearful.
Noah strode toward me, his face full of … Was that pity? Before I could react, he took my hand and dragged me from the room.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m getting you out of this hellhole for a few hours,” he replied, then under his breath, “It’s the least I can fucking do.”
Moments later we were in the car, sailing away from the house and toward the city. I watched Noah, waiting for his anger at Vee to simmer down before I spoke.
“Do you want to tell me what you and Vee were arguing over?”
He huffed a breath. “No.”
“That’s okay. We don’t have to talk.” I went quiet for a minute, then said, “Did you know it’s my birthday today? Aoife gifted me a new chain for my cross.” I lifted said chain, and Noah’s eyes flashed to it briefly.
“I didn’t know it was your birthday.” He looked regretful, his eyes softening as he stared at the road. “Happy birthday.”
There was something about the simple sentiment on his lips that warmed my heart. “Thank you.”
Another few minutes passed before he asked, “Want to celebrate?”
The mischievous glint in his eyes made me excited. “Okay,” I breathed. “What do you have in mind?”
***
“This isn’t how I imagined I’d be celebrating my birthday,” I said, following Noah around a designer furniture shop. It was one of those places where everything looked like it came straight off the set of Mad Men, and each item cost an arm and a leg.
Noah set his sights on a bright red chair that looked like it was made from a single piece of plastic. From the side it looked sort of like an S shape tilted backward.
“Aren’t you turned on right now?” he said, running his hand along the chair. He lowered himself into it, crossed one leg over his knee and surveyed me with a confident gaze. “This is a Panton chair, first designed by Verner Panton in 1960. Look at how sleek yet simplistic the design is. It’s timeless, a thing of true beauty.”
“This obsession of yours is really starting to worry me,” I said. “People will start calling you a chair-osexual if you’re not careful.”
Noah barked a laugh at that, motioning me closer. I took two steps towards him, stopping when my leg met his knee. “Do you want to know a secret?”
His quietly spoken question made me shiver. “Sure.”
“One day I want to own a shop just like this one,” he replied, and a chuckle escaped me. It was the last thing I expected him to say.
“You want to sell overpriced furniture to snooty people with too much money?”
He smiled wide and bobbed his head. “Yep.”
“That is … Okay, weirdly I can totally see that for you. But what about your security job with Mayor McBride?”
Noah reached out, snagging my wrist and pulling me down. I let out a tiny breath as my bottom met his lap, and he pushed my long hair over my shoulder. He met my eyes in the reflection of a large mirror on the other side of the store as he whispered, “I have a feeling I’ll be moving on from that particular career very soon.”
Before I had a chance to ask him why, a store assistant appeared in front of us. “Can I help you with anything?”
Noah gently pushed me up off his lap, his fingers very faintly brushing my bottom as he did. I emitted a small gasp at the contact, then stood and he followed suit. “No, thank you,” he answered, guiding me out of the shop.
“Where to next?” I asked as we wandered down the street.
Noah eyed me. I felt self-conscious as he ran his gaze over my uniform. “You need a new outfit. Where’s your favourite place to buy clothes?”
I chewed my lower lip. “I don’t think I have one.”
“In that case, pick a shop, any shop.”
I glanced at some of the boutiques we passed by, exhilarated by the idea of buying something new. There was a pretty, red dress in the window of a shop called Folkster that caught my attention. I walked in, and Noah followed.
“Get whatever you want,” he said. “I’m buying.”
I stared at him, eyebrows raised. “You’re serious?”
He pulled out his wallet and waggled it in the air. “Money’s no object.”
“Um, okay,” I said, warily looking around. I was completely out of my depth. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d shopped for clothes. It had been years.
Noah must’ve sensed my hesitation because he slid his hand into mine and walked me through the racks of clothing. He began browsing items, pulling things out and throwing them over his shoulder as he went. I noticed he grabbed the red dress, the one I’d been eyeing in the window. Something about how perceptive he was made me feel a simmering heat beneath my skin.
It was almost closing time, so the store was mostly empty. No one noticed Noah slipping into the ladies changing rooms with me.
“Try some of these,” he said, shoving the selection of dresses at me. I took them, standing in the doorway of a changing cubicle. “First, explain to me why you’re buying me clothes.”
Noah’s lips tightened. He didn’t say anything for a moment, then replied, “Because I’m taking you to dinner. You can’t go into a nice restaurant in your school uniform.”
“Right,” I said. “That makes sense, but …” A pause before I continued, “Why are you taking me to dinner?”
“Because it’s your birthday, and if anyone deserves a treat it’s you. Now go try those on. I’m getting hangry.”
Well, I wasn’t going to argue with that. I retreated inside the cubicle, pulling the curtain closed and sifting through the dresses he’d picked out. All the fabrics were dark and sumptuous, lots of velvet, lace and silk. Only one was a pale cream colour, almost white. I fingered the delicate chiffon, then undressed and began trying on each outfit. They all fit me perfectly. The last dress to try on was the dark red one. It was prettier than anything I’d ever owned, and when I put it on, I felt transformed. It was insane how clothes could do that. They gave you a confidence you didn’t have before.
“Have you decided what you like?” Noah asked from where he sat outside waiting.
“I don’t know what to choose,” I told
him honestly. “I like all of them.”
“Then we’ll get them all,” he replied, pulling open the curtain. His eyes travelled down my body and my skin tingled. The dress was long, but it showed a hint of cleavage which I wasn’t used to. Noah’s eyes skimmed my chest, and every part of me simmered with lust. When his gaze met mine through the mirror, I felt like I couldn’t breathe for a second.
“This is my favourite,” I whispered, breaking the thick silence.
“Mine, too,” Noah replied.
“You haven’t even seen the others on me.”
His eyes were liquid heat. “I don’t need to.” A pause as he considered me. “Leave it on.” He picked up the rest of the dresses, and I followed him to the cash register, where he managed to convince the girl to let him pay for the red dress without me removing it. I turned around, and Noah fished out the price tag, his knuckles brushing the back of my neck. Sparks of awareness skittered down my spine. I swallowed tightly as the cashier scanned the bar code while Noah deftly tore the tag off the dress.
“Now you’re all ready for the ball, Cinderestella,” he whispered in my ear as we left laden down with shopping bags. A thrill went through me. I’d never owned so many pretty things.
Noah brought me to a darkly lit, fancy as hell restaurant. I sat in my red dress, feeling like a spoiled princess and trying not to look too closely at the prices on the menu.
“Order whatever you want. In fact, order more than you want. Let’s make this a fucking feast,” he said with abandon before motioning the waiter over to question him on the drinks menu. A few minutes later he returned with two cocktails. I warily took a sip and was delighted by the cherry flavour. For my starter I ordered the French onion soup, and for my main I ordered the fillet steak.
The soup came topped with a giant crusty crouton and melted cheese, while the steak was accompanied by tiny fancy potatoes and tiny fancy mushrooms, drizzled with a bearnaise sauce. Everything tasted incredible. I was stuffed to the gills but took Noah’s suggestion and made it a feast by ordering a chocolate souffle for dessert. After spending the last few years subsisting on cheap, non-perishable items, this dinner was almost like a religious experience.
I was aware of him watching me as I dug my spoon into the souffle. He’d been watching me throughout the meal, a fond smile touching his lips. There was a sadness behind his eyes that unsettled me though.
“Are you thinking about your argument with Vee?” I asked softly.
Now he looked even sadder, but it was odd, because his sadness seemed to be directed at me.
“Don’t worry what I’m thinking about. Enjoy your dessert,” he said. Something about his tone got my back up.
“I heard you tell Vee she was lying to someone. Who were you talking about?”
“Estella,” he said, a plea in his voice. “Just eat, please. You look happy right now. I like seeing you happy.”
I dropped my fork, worry creeping in. “Okay, you need to tell me what’s going on because you’re freaking me out.”
Noah exhaled a breath, staring up at the ceiling for long moments. When his eyes returned to mine, he reached out and took my hands in his. “There’s no money,” he stated flatly.
My stomach lurched. “What do you mean?” I glanced around warily and lowered my voice. “Don’t you have enough to pay for this meal? Why would you bring me here if—”
“I’m not talking about the meal,” he said gravely. “I’m talking about the money your father left for you. It doesn’t exist.”
Just like that, my entire world dropped out from under me. “Y-you’re lying. Of course, it exists. It was set aside for me in his will.”
Noah’s eyes took on a serious edge. “And who told you about the will?”
Time stood still. Finally, I answered in a barely audible voice, “Vee did.”
“Vee lied.”
My throat grew heavy, tears filling my eyes as I stared at him. “But … but why would she do that?” I whispered.
“Because she’s not right in the head.” He tapped his skull. “She thought you’d leave as soon as you turned eighteen, so she made up a fictional inheritance to keep you with her longer.”
I blinked in disbelief. “But that doesn’t even make any sense. Vee hates me. She resents me living with her. And besides, it wasn’t the prospect of an inheritance that kept me with her. I had no other place to go. Ever since dad died, I’ve been worried she might kick me out onto the street, and she never failed to give me cause to believe she’d do it. So, why would she lie about there being money?”
“Don’t bother trying to find logic in it. I’ve given up trying to make sense of her choices,” he said, and I thought he was talking about something else for a second. He brought his eyes to mine. “She doesn’t hate you though. She’s just incapable of showing love. If you knew her history you’d understand. Your father was the love of her life, and I think having you around makes her feel like she still has a connection to him. She’s been terrified of you leaving her and losing that connection.”
A tear broke free, trickling down my face. I didn’t want to believe what he was telling me. If it was true, then my plans were over. I couldn’t go travelling like I wanted. Probably couldn’t go to college either without having the money to support myself. I could get a part-time job, but I’d never earn enough to afford rent and food and utilities. I could scrape by, but it would be miserable. I was sick of living hand to mouth, and I was so ready for the struggle to be over. Maybe life was endless struggle and relief from that was a myth.
A dark cloud settled over me.
“Think about it, Estella. Your dad was a construction worker and he died young. It’s highly unlikely he had very much in the way of savings. He had life insurance that paid out after he died, but all that money went to my sister. I’m sure she’s drunk most of it by now.”
Fury coursed through my veins, hardening them to stone. How cruel was she to lie to me like this? I didn’t believe Noah’s theory that she did it to keep me close. I think she did it because it was the ultimate cruelty. Vee gave me years of hope, only to break my spirit when the truth was finally revealed.
But my spirit was far from broken. In fact, I’d never felt stronger. Anger fuelled me now. I withdrew my hands from Noah’s and stood from the table. “Take me home.”
Noah nodded and went to pay the bill. I didn’t speak at all on the drive back, instead I fumed quietly, preparing exactly what I was going to say to Vee. I didn’t care anymore about her throwing me out. Her lie made something in me snap. I was too enraged to think rationally.
Pulling out my phone, I sent Aoife a text to see if I could stay with her for a few days. She answered back yes, asking if everything was all right. I told her I’d fill her in once I got to her place.
Twenty minutes later, Noah pulled into the driveway at Vee’s house. It was dark out as I climbed from the car.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Estella,” Noah called after me, but I ignored him. I was like the Terminator now, on a mission and impossible to stop. The house was quiet when I entered. Sylvia sat in the living room watching the nine o’clock news. I strode down the hall to my bedroom, pulled my old backpack out from under the bed and started packing. A half an hour later everything I owned was crammed into it, all except for my books. I’d have to come back for those.
I must’ve made a hell of a racket because Vee stomped her way into my room.
“What are you doing?” she demanded.
I turned to face her, deathly calm. This woman had played a horrible, evil trick on me, and I wanted to hurt her. I had to stem the urge to launch myself at her and clasp my hands around her neck. The anger was unlike any I’d ever experienced; it frightened me a little. I felt possessed by a strength and fury that wasn’t my own. Or maybe it was. Maybe it lay dormant all these years, just waiting for the right catalyst to bring it out.
A shadowy haze crossed my vision.
“You lied to me,” I said in a cold,
distant voice.
I knew she saw how potent my anger was when her face fell, and she backed up a step.
“Noah told you,” she whispered.
“Yes, he did,” I stated flatly.
“Listen to me, Estella. It’s not what you think.”
I advanced several steps until we stood toe to toe. Vee was much taller than me, but she was skin and bone. I was younger and stronger. I could take her in a fight.
“Isn’t it?” I said, tilting my head, my eyes narrowed to slits.
She swallowed visibly. “What’s come over you? You’re not yourself.”
Now I pushed her, and she fell back into the wall, cowering away from me. “Maybe I’m finally becoming who I was always meant to be. Maybe your cruel, vindictive lie made me snap, and that bitter, twisted side you said I have is finally coming out.”
She shrunk in on herself, and I felt a sick thrill to see her frightened. It was like I had a monster caged inside my chest, prowling back and forth as it snapped and bared its teeth. The monster purred, relieved to finally wield power over the person who held all the authority over me for so long.
“I didn’t want you to leave me,” she confessed, her voice weepy, and I froze.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” I hissed. “You hate me. You make me sleep in this tiny, shitty bedroom. You demean me and force me to do round the clock chores. You make me survive on next to nothing. You’ve made my life a living hell these past two years, so if you want me around it must be because you want a punching bag because I can’t see any other reason.”
“I loved your father,” she cried. “I loved him more than anyone.”
“Yes, you loved him, and you hated me because he loved me most. Is that why you decided to punish me? How twisted are you to lie about his will like that? You might as well have trampled all over his memory. I despise you, and I feel sorry for you,” I spat, grabbing my bag and stepping toward the door.
“Wait,” she cried, grabbing hold of my wrist. “I was going to give you money. I was going to give you a portion of the life insurance, but I didn’t anticipate I’d spend so much of it, and now there’s very little left.”