by Jahquel J
“Thank you so much. I appreciate your help today.”
With the bags in my hand, I got into the Uber I had ordered and headed back to the Beverly Hills Hotel. This was a hotel I’ve seen in movies or those reality shows centered around Beverly Hills, and now I was staying in a suite sharing an adjourning patio with Yoshon. My eyes didn’t want to see how much he was paying a month on this hotel. There were two bedrooms, and I stayed in one while Yoshon stayed in the other. It was hard not to sneak and get into his bed during the night. Last night, I literally paced the floor fighting with myself. If I wanted to push friendship on him, then I needed to act like a friend. How could I tell him that we were friends while pushing my pussy up on him?
When Yoshon mentioned he had a baby on the way, my stomach dropped. I knew he seemed too good to be true. Especially because he wanted me. God never looked out for me like that, so I waited until the other shoe to drop, and it finally did. This man was about to be someone’s father in a month, give or take. It wasn’t that I had an issue with him being a father because I was a mother. The difference was that Gyan wasn’t a newborn baby. I knew how to take care of him. Yoshon didn’t know one thing about raising a baby, let alone a baby girl at that. Pit Pat would, of course, help him with his child, and I would too. However, I couldn’t help to think that I would always become second or third in his life. With him sharing a baby with his ex-fiancée, I felt I would always be the third woman in his life. Yoshon wasn’t over losing his fiancée and having a daughter with the same DNA as her wasn’t going to make it any better. I would be forever coming in last when it came to having his heart. How did you compete with a dead woman? You couldn’t, and you would never win.
I could hear music playing from the wireless speaker coming from the patio. Yoshon had sent me out to run all his errands, and all I had managed to do was buy his belt and a purse he didn’t authorize. Slowly walking to the patio, I watched as he smoked a blunt while listening to music from the speaker. He looked so at peace and here I was about to fuck that up by telling I bought a nearly three thousand dollar bag on his expense.
“Here’s your belt,” I nervously chuckled and handed him the bags.
“The fuck they give two bags for?” He put the blunt in the ash tray and leaned up. He took the boxes out the bag and opened my purse first.
“Before you open it, I’m sorry and I’ll work extra hard to pay it off. I couldn’t leave the store without it, and I don’t want you to think that this will happen all the time. I never do things like this, and I’m so sorry. Thinking back, I should j—”
He pulled the purse out of the box. “You bought a purse? You rambling and shit like I’m ‘bout to trip. It’s nice; I like it,” he calmly stated and placed the bag back into the box and handed it to me.
“Thank you! I’m sorry that I did that without talking to you.”
“I mean, if you were my girl, you wouldn’t have to keep having to apologize, but because you’re my friend, you can keep the apologies coming,” he smirked.
“Oh, fuck you, Yoshon.” I giggled and took a seat across from him.
“Pit Pat called a little while ago… your phone off?”
“It was probably on silent. What happened? Is Gyan fine?”
“Calm it down, Worrisome Patty. She was calling to tell me that he did good in school and she’s letting him eat dinner and watch TV tonight.”
“Pit Pat gonna do what she want with my child anyway,” I laughed.
The only reason I didn’t mind Pit Pat stepping in was because I knew it was coming from a good place. How Pit Pat ran her house, I could tell she and my grandmother were the same. If my grandmother was still around, she would have been raising Gyan the same exact way. Not to mention, Gyan loved when Pit Pat stepped in with him. It was something about that old woman that he just loved. I could tell him the sky was blue and he would look at me skeptically but let Pit Pat tell him and then toss in a story about when she grew up, and he was sold. In the short amount of time, I loved how their relationship grew, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Going out of town was easier knowing someone like Pit Pat was watching over Gyan, along with security that Yoshon had hired to watch the house.
“Yeah, you know she follows her own rules. I bet your ass bought that bag and didn’t do none of the shit I told you to do.”
Looking down, I gave him a nervous smile. “Not exactly.”
“You fine and all, but business is business. If you can’t handle it, then I can hire someone that could get the job done. I play and joke all day, but when it comes to handling business, shit has to be done…feel me?”
“Yes, I hear you.” How was I supposed to act like my little feelings weren’t hurt? He had told me like it was and my ego was a little bruised, I could admit that. “I’ll go to my bedroom to work on the computer stuff and do better tomorrow with getting everything you asked for.” I stood up and went to my bedroom.
Shutting the door, I leaned on the door and took a deep breath. He was right. Yoshon hired me to do a job and just because we fucked a few times didn’t mean I could slack off and buy Gucci bags just because I knew he wouldn’t have a issue. He gave me an assignment to complete and I failed. Not to mention, he told me to email the new hires for the tanning salon the employee manual along with their documentation to fully start, and I didn’t do that. Pulling my sneakers off, I pulled my shirt off and got right in the middle of queen size bed. Opening my laptop, I checked and responded to a few emails before I got right to work. Yoshon took a chance and hired me to handle business for him, so that’s what I was going to do. I couldn’t let shit let me lose focus on what I was doing this for. Living with Yoshon wasn’t a forever thing and the plan was to get an apartment for me and Gyan.
An hour into working, my phone rang, and I answered right away not bothering to look at the caller ID. Not too many people had this number, so it had to be someone I had given it to.
“Hello?”
“We need to talk,” Grand’s voice came through the phone. The hair on arms was at attention like they were in the damn service.
“G…grand, what do you want from me? What I said was said, there’s nothing else you need to speak to me about.”
“You send your little boyfriend to handle your business, huh?”
“He’s not my boyfriend, and I assure ain't nothing little on him. I didn’t send anybody. Just leave us alone, you’ve done enough.”
“I’ve done enough? Bitch, you had me locked up for fucking months, facing years in prison. You lucky I’m not beating and raping your ass some more for that high ass attorney fee I had to pay and all the fucking bribes I had to pay out.” His voice was low, but it was callous.
“I pray for your soul, Grand. I really do.”
“Yeah, fucking ever. I want to see my son.”
“No.”
“I’ll see my son if I want to. He’s my son too.”
“He’s terrified of you, and he doesn’t want to be near you at all. Don’t you have other kids and women, go be with them. We’re good.”
“Long as you’re my wife, I’m gonna be in your life. You went ahead and found you a bigger fish than me, huh? Everybody know the Santana’s got money.”
“It’s not like that. I loved and cared for you.”
“Yeah, that’s what your mouth said, but your hand that you always held out for shit said otherwise,” he laughed.
“I want a divorce.”
“Good luck with me signing anything,” he laughed and ended the call.
How did he get my number and why was he going to make this so hard? I want to be divorced from this cold and heartless monster. He didn’t give a damn about anyone except himself and that was fucked up. The funny part was that he didn’t give a damn about Gyan. He only wanted to use him because he knew that’s the one person I cared about more than myself. Grand wanted to fuck with my emotions and get in my head. I would be the first to admit that he was good with that and it had worked in the pas
t. Now, I had so much to work and love for, that I wasn’t going to allow Grand to fuck with me and ruin what I had going on because he was miserable.
“You forgot your bag,” Yoshon knocked softly and came and sat the bag onto my bed. “Somebody’s busy, what you working on?” he questioned and stared at me.
“Sending out some emails and stuff. I’m getting my work done so you don’t need to worry or question anything,” I assured him. “I’m here to make your life easier, not harder.”
“Okay, I leave you to it,” he told me. “Oh, we have an appointment tomorrow morning so be ready around ten,” he told me.
“Sure. I’ll be ready.”
After he closed the door back, I continued to work for a few until it was time to facetime with Gyan. It didn’t make sense for me to inform Yoshon of Grand’s call. At the end of the day, I had to be an adult and couldn’t keep relying on Yoshon to fix all my issues. He had himself and his own family to worry about, not the homeless woman and her child that stayed in his guest suite.
We sat in a doctor’s office and I wondered why we were here in the first place. Knowing Yoshon, he probably had some interest in buying into one. One of the things I loved about this man was his drive for success and building his family’s wealth. He was hungry for more and more success, what he had right now wasn’t enough for him. For the usual person, all he had and accomplished would be enough for them, but not for Yoshon. He had to learn more, buy more and increase his net worth more. How could you hate on a black man trying to buy property and be more to society? You couldn’t; it was plain and simple. Crossing my leg, I sighed because we had been waiting for thirty minutes. After ten more minutes, a flustered white woman came rushing inside with a long, flowy, tie dyed skirt, and tank top pulled over a protruding belly.
“Yoshon, I’m so sorry. I was at prenatal yoga and lost track,” she quickly apologized and then went to register at the front. What the fuck was going on here? Before I could even speak, she came over and told us that we could head to the back. “Ready to see your baby girl today?” she smiled at the both of us.
When I didn’t smile back and stood up with my purse on my shoulder, I could read on his face that he knew I was pissed beyond measures. “Go ahead and we’ll be right there in a second,” he told her.
“Cool beans,” she smiled and headed to the back.
“What’s good with you?” He asked like he didn’t know what the fuck he had just did. What did he mean what’s the matter with me? If I’m correct, this man had me at the appointment with his surrogate.
“That’s not fair, Yoshon,” my voice cracked as I pointed at him.
“You my friend, right? Why can’t you be there to support me?” he acted clueless. This man was smart and was always on point, so the fact that he was acting clueless why I was so upset, pissed me off.
“I will always support you. However, all you had to do was ask, not trick me. We’re adults, not children. I have work to do so I’ll be working at a Starbucks or something all day. See you at the hotel,” I told him and stormed out the office. He called behind me and I continued to walk.
I literally had just found out about the baby and was still processing it. Yoshon was practically shoving the baby into my face and it wasn’t fair. I had a choice, and he didn’t give me one when he fed me the lie about some important business meeting I had to attend. I got into the rental and pulled out the parking lot. We drove in separate cars because he made me grab him a coffee at the appointment. Yoshon wasn’t being fair with the situation. Instead of allowing me time to get used to it, he was pushing it in my face. Was it selfish that I didn’t want to share him with anyone? I had finally gotten someone who was about me, and now they were being snatched away from me. Yeah, I understood that was a childish way to think, yet I couldn’t stop thinking that way.
All day I ran errands and worked from my laptop. It was ten at night and I was sitting at the kitchen counter with my laptop on. Since I finished all work that needed to be done, I sat at the counter eating a burger from room service while online window shopping. I couldn’t afford half the shit I put into my cart, but it was nice imagining that I could just type my card’s numbers in and buy what I wanted. The front door opened and Yoshon strolled in with food from Mr. Chows. I could smell the food from the bag, and although I was smashing this burger down, I knew damn well I was going to fix me a plate of whatever he brought into this house.
“How was your day?” he broke the silence. An entire day without talking or seeing each other and I realized I was still pissed with his fine ass. How could he go ahead and try and trick me like I was some dumb chick?
“Good.”
“You still mad? Let that shit go,” he told me, and I gasped as he pulled the plastic containers from the paper bags.
“You have some nerve to ask me if I’m still mad. How dare you trick me and expect me to get over things?”
“I found out that I need to be in LA until Yashleigh is born. With Em being eight months approaching nine, she can come anytime.”
“What does that mean for me? I have a son and can’t push him to the side.”
“Relax. He has his mid-winter break, so Pit Pat is flying with him here. I told Yolani to come too because I need to break this to everyone at the same time, and the phone isn’t a good place to tell them.”
“Gyan has school. His mid-winter break could come and go, and she still doesn’t have the baby. My son’s education is important to me.”
“I have tutors that will coordinate with his teachers back home. Fuck, Golden. All I need is fucking support, and you’re finding everything in your power to be fucking negative, man!” he barked and slammed his hand on the granite. I jumped and stared at him. “You needed a place; I did that. You needed a job; I did that. The one thing I need right now is support, and I’m not asking it to come from you as my girl, but as my fucking friend, man! People always worried about themselves!” he continued and left the counter. His bedroom door slammed soon after that.
I should have gone after him and apologized, but my ass went exploring through the bags while thinking about what he said. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. As a woman, welcoming a child into the world was the most scariest, yet rewarding thing in the world. Our nature instincts kicked in and for a moment, everything felt like it was about to be alright. Thinking to myself, I could only imagine the stress that Yoshon was going through with all of this. No matter how I may have personally felt, I should have been there for him as a friend, not complaining. Since I met this man, he has never let a complaint come out of his mouth. He was content with helping others and here I was being a selfish bitch because he was upfront with me about his situation. He could have lied to me and he didn’t. Instead, he was truthful and told me what I needed to hear.
God was pushing me to go and apologize, and I knew I had to, so I fixed both of us a plate and walked into his room. He was smoking weed on the patio, which extended to his side of the suite.
“I brought you some food.”
“Not hungry,” he quickly replied while puffing his blunt.
“After that, you’ll be. We need to talk, Yoshon.”
“On the real, I’m tired of fucking talking. We’re good. I heard you loud and clear,” he told me and it hurt me that I had hurt him. He needed me, and I let him down, which was fucked up.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m a selfish, homeless bitch who thinks of herself and son. You needed me, and I was so focused on my personal feelings that I couldn’t see that you needed me as a friend. I apologize about that, and I promise to be there for you as a friend. You’re about to be a dad, and that’s the most rewarding and scariest thing you’ll do in your life.” I sat our plates down and then went to climb in his lap. He allowed me to climb in his lap and continued to smoke. If I was him, I would have pushed my ass right off of me.
“You apologizing? Hmph.”
“Don’t do me, Yoshon. I can admit when I’m wrong and I’m
dead wrong. I thought about it, and it’s not about if we’re together or not, it’s about you adjusting to being a father.”
“I want us together.”
“How do you know? Things will change when your daughter gets here.”
“Why the fuck are you intimidated by a baby that’s not even in the world? Fuck is up, Golden?”
He was right. I was intimidated by a little girl who couldn’t talk, walk or feed herself. “My fear is that if we ever get so serious, where we want to have kids that our kids won’t mean the same. Yashleigh means a lot to you, not only because she’s your child, but because she’s the only thing you have of Ashleigh. What if our children we have together don’t equal up? What if she hates me because she thinks I’m trying to be her mother? It’s a lot, Yoshon.”
“Does Gyan hate me? I mean, do I walk around and try to be his pops? I know I’m not his pops and so does he. We have a mutual respect, and you and Yashleigh will have the same. It’ll be kind of hard for her to feel ill towards you when you’ve been there since she was born. Ashleigh is a part of her, yes. However, she’s a stranger to her just like she is to you. All she’ll know is that Ashleigh is her mother. I could tell her all I want about her mother, but she’ll never witness or experience the beautiful soul her mother was.”
“Yoshon, you haven’t gotten over Ashleigh. My fear is that I’m stepping in on another’s woman’s territory. She still has your heart, dead or alive.”
“I’m not going to lie to you because I’m always going to keep it real with you. Ashleigh will always have a piece of my heart because I lost her prematurely. I’ve had time to mourn and try to move on, and that’s what I’m doing with you. Golden, you came into my life and fucking turned shit around for me. I want to spend every waking moment with you and Gyan; y’all dead ass make me feel complete. Hearing his feet running through the house in the morning or hearing Pit Pat wake him up in the morning makes me fucking smile while lying in bed. Our home had been quiet as shit with just the two of us and look at it now. Pit Pat loves having you both there with us, and she don’t like people in her crib. I want this. I want us. I just need to know that you want the same things so I’m not wasting my time,” he held my face as he spoke right to me.