by Sierra Hill
Apparently, that only happens in fairytales and the tele novellas that my abuelita watches.
Dios mio. What am I going to tell my family? My very Catholic, strict, old-fashioned family? Just when I thought they’d be okay with me dating Lance, now this happens. Could it get any worse?
I’ve received a few texts from Lance over the last two days, but I haven’t responded. I just can’t yet. Not until I have a chance to think through this and determine what’s important to me.
All I can envision is my little boy or girl playing happily alongside Therese’s new baby. How beautiful it will be having the chance to go through this pregnancy at the same time as my sister.
At least I’d have her and Ainsley at my side. I haven’t mentioned anything to her yet and don’t even know when I could. She’s so wrapped up in the wedding plans that I don’t want to divert her attention.
Lance’s texts to me have been apologetic for the way he reacted, but he hasn’t said he’s changed his mind. All he said was he wanted to talk.
Call me when you’re ready.
I love you and I want to be there for you.
I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I wasn’t in a good headspace.
I didn’t know how to respond to any of those, so I chose not to. And he hasn’t pressed me any further, which I guess I appreciate it.
What did I expect him to do? Ride over here on his white horse and sweep me off my feet? Tell me I’m the love of his life and he wants to marry me right now and have tons of babies with me, starting with this one?
Fat chance.
I’m such a romantic dreamer. Full of fairytale ideals and expectations.
And really, can I hold it against Lance for the way he responded? He’s barely sober four months, is still dealing with the consequences of the past and now the end of his college basketball career. What did I expect?
Lifting my shirt, I run my fingers gently over my stomach. Of course, I don’t feel anything in there yet. No kicks or headbutts against the flat of my belly. But I feel it in my heart and my soul.
If the worst case scenario happens and Lance honestly doesn’t want anything to do with our baby, then I guess I’ll be a single mom. It’s not unheard of. And I know that my family, after getting over the initial shock that their twenty-year old daughter is a single pregnant woman, they’ll forgive me and support me and my baby. It’s just how our family works.
I’m crying crocodile tears when the phone rings.
“Hola?” I answer, trying to hide the raspy sound of my voice.
“Micaela, is that you?” Ainsley asks.
“Yeah, it’s me. Hi, what’s going on?”
“Well, I was checking on you because you’re supposed to be over here with us tonight.”
I sit up so fast I get dizzy. “Oh crap. I’m sorry, Ains. I completely spaced it.”
It’s girl’s night tonight. She wanted to include her sister, Anika, who is only seventeen so we were just going to go out to dinner and then play some games at her house tonight. I check the clock and notice it’s six thirty. I’m thirty minutes late.
“Are you okay, sweetie? What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice. Did something happen with Lance?”
And then I break like a levy in a dam, spilling over like a raging river.
She listens to me through sobs and tears, which clog up my throat and make me sound like a frog underwater.
I tell her everything. All that was said and done since they last saw me at the game.
And when I’m finally done choking back tears and blabbering on in a nonsensical manner, Ainsley confronts me in the logical and level-headed way she normally comes at things.
“Do you remember when Cade and I split up? How I was so stubborn and wouldn’t talk to him? And during that time he’d come to the realization that he loved me and wanted to make it work? Do you remember that I wouldn’t give him the chance to tell me he’d changed?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Well, you need to give Lance some time to figure this thing out. I’m sure it was a knee-jerk reaction, peppered with the agony and pain he was in physically, as well as the mental state he was in at the time. He’s gone through a hell of a lot of shit in the last year. I think you need to give him a chance to explain and to talk it out. Don’t shut him out entirely. Leave that door open, at least for now.”
“You’re right. I know you are. And I will. But not tonight.”
She laughs. “Well, duh. Because tonight, your ass is over here with us. I’ll drink the champagne and you and Ani can sip the Ginger Ale. Now get your tookus over here, woman.”
Chapter 33
Lance
To say it’s been a week from hell is an understatement.
I’ve been trying to get used to using this wheelie-mobile to get around on campus. It’s a scooter with a padded bench that I prop my knee on so I can remain mobile and keep my foot elevated at the same time. And so I can avoid crutches. That would’ve been killer.
Originally, I had been worried that the pain would be unbearable and I wouldn’t be able to medicate myself and that would lead to using again. But I’ve doubled up on meetings and also my therapist appointments this week to keep me centered. And I’m also on my way to have coffee with Coach Parker.
He and have clicked since my stint in rehab. There’s something that ties us together. Maybe it’s the pain of losing people, I don’t know. He’s only six years older than me, but at twenty-eight, he offers me a lot of real-life perspective.
“Well if it isn’t Lance “Scooter” Britton,” he calls out as I make my way into the coffee shop off campus.
We decided to meet here because there was good Handicap parking right outside and I have a temporary parking placard that I’m using while in this get-up.
I wheel over to the table and he stands up to grab my backpack from my shoulder as I sit down, careful not to hit my booted foot against the table.
“Go ahead and poke fun, old man. You’ll be using a walker sooner than you know it.”
I always give him hell about his age because he knows I’m kidding. The guy looks like he could be a college student himself still.
The waitress comes over and takes our orders. I’m starving because I haven’t eaten yet this morning. He just orders coffee and a bagel.
“So, how you feeling? The pain manageable?” he asks, pouring some sugar in the coffee mug the waitress sets down in front of him.
I shrug. “Meh, it’s not as bad as it could be, so there’s that.”
He stares at me intently while stirring his coffee. “So then why the long face? You look like someone killed your puppy.”
I groan, taking a gulp of my orange juice and mumble. “Worse than that.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “And?”
I plop my elbow down on the table, scrubbing a hand through my hair.
“My girlfriend, Mica…” I look around the room to make sure I’m not overheard. “She’s pregnant.”
Coach’s face is thoughtful, reflective as he sits up against the chair and nods his head.
“Been there, done that. At least she’s your girlfriend and not a stranger.”
For a second, I’m confused. What’s he saying?
“You mean, you had a kid with a one-night stand?”
He smiles tightly. “Yup, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I’m still confused, because I thought he married his girlfriend. “But, you were married. She wasn’t the mother?”
Coach shifts in his seat and looks out the window. “It’s a long story. I don’t want to bore you with details. But I’ll tell you what. My son, Caleb, is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
When I give him a ‘you’re full of shit’ cocked eyebrow, he smiles.
“I’m not kidding, man. I’ve been dealt a lot of shit through the choices I made. And Caleb being born and his mother being a stranger to me, was a pretty fucked up situation. I wasn’t ready to be a father. I wasn’t ready
to deal with the aftermath of a one-night-stand. Or the ringer my then girlfriend, turned wife, put me through. But I certainly grew up fast. And I learned how to love something so precious and pure. That little boy, the minute his tiny fist held on to my finger…shit, my life changed for the better.”
My head feels dizzy. Unbalanced. Like I’m one of those hanging punching bags, and I’ve been thwamped and pummeled and I’m spinning around, unable to stop.
“Lance, I don’t know where you’re at with your girlfriend”
I interrupt. “I love her. She’s amazing.”
“That’s good. Does she want to keep the baby?”
Biting my lip, I look away from his gaze. Trying to avoid the question, but knowing it’s there regardless.
“She does. I don’t.”
“Hmm.” Is all he says.
When I look back at him, Coach is pulling up his phone and shows me a picture of his son.
“I didn’t want him at first, either. He was only an intrusion. A mistake. An accident with a woman I fucked one drunken night on a road trip in Pittsburgh. I could have easily walked away. Thrown some money at this woman, paid her child-support and gone on my merry way. But this boy,” he taps on the photos, one after another. “He became my world. The minute I saw him I just knew.
“And I’m not saying it’ll be the same for you, Lance. But you should explore it and consider what good might come out of it. Because you can do the right thing by Mica and your baby. Or you can do the best thing for everyone.”
His words bore into me like a stake into a Vampire heart. They slay me. Cripple me. Take me to the ground.
The old me…the selfish guy who buried his feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness with booze and pills…would walk away. Wouldn’t pay a second glance.
But this new me…the one who’s learned a few things about himself through therapy and treatment, knows that I have the capacity to love and the strength to deal with these explosions in my life. That I have the tools necessary to work through these roadblocks instead of turning the other way and running away.
“Ah, man. I gotta go,” I blurt out, trying to extricate myself from the seat and into my transport while not making a spectacle of myself.
Coach Parker laughs at me, handing me my book bag and clasping me on top of my shoulder.
“You’re a good man, Britton. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will. And thanks.”
Just as I near the door, I turn my head back over my shoulder. “I’d like to meet him sometime. Caleb, that is.”
Coach smiles and winks. “He’d like that, too.”
Chapter 34
Mica
My back and legs hurt from all the bending and lifting today. Tuesdays are my long cleaning shift days and today I scrubbed and cleaned houses for over six hours straight.
I’m exhausted and could fall into bed and sleep for days.
But instead, I have a term paper to finish before I go to sleep. Thankfully I’ve already written the first draft and now just need to edit it and make sure all my citations are accurately noted.
The microwave beeps to let me know my frozen dinner is done and ready to pull out when there’s a knock at my door.
I’m so tired that I almost let it go, but I am waiting for a package to be delivered, so I carefully remove the plastic wrap from the container and head to the front door.
When I look through the peep hole, I don’t see anything, but I open it up to see if the package is on the floor.
The first thing I see is a bouquet of flowers shoved toward my face at eye level. They are being held there by a hand, and as the body steps into view, I know it’s Lance.
My eyes dart from the fresh and fragrant floral arrangement to Lance’s face, which is cast downward.
“Special delivery. Read the card.”
There’s a small four-by-four envelope stuffed into the top of the bouquet and I pull it out, still not having said anything.
I open it and pinch the note in my fingers to slide it out of its cover.
It reads:
There are no words to express how sorry I am. I’m a fool.
Love, Your Baby Daddy
Tears prickle the backs of my eyes and I suck back the sob that threatens to escape my throat. If it weren’t so sad and this situation so dramatic, it would be funny. Because no matter what, Lance can always lighten the mood with his goofy antics.
He hands me the flowers to hold and then he’s down on one knee – still in the doorway. He holds out a small box, his hand shaking in front of me.
“Micaela Anna Reyes, before you entered my life, I was hollow. So empty and sad. But you’ve been the light at the end of that endlessly dark tunnel. You shine for me like my own personal beacon of hope, piercing through my dark and tainted soul. You’ve proved to me, time and time again, that there is something in me worth loving. Yet once again, I’ve made a mess of things. I take one step forward and three steps back.”
Tears are falling and I’m crying shamelessly, swiping them away with the back of my hand as they continue to stain my cheeks and wet my lashes. My vision blurs and I’m blinded by my love for him.
“I can’t promise an easy road ahead. I’m still on the path to recovery and it’s a helluva long way. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and to say yes to being with me for the rest of our lives, I promise to do my very best. To be the best man I can. The best husband. And…the best father.”
He drops his hand to my stomach and covers it with his large, oversized palm. His own eyes are damp and reflect all the deep sorrow I know he feels for the way he behaved.
“Baby Britton, I’m sorry for saying those things about you. About not wanting you. I was so, so wrong. I’m just a dumbass who constantly fucks up. But your mom…she’s so amazing in every single way. She’s going to be the best mother in the world to you, baby. And I’ll do my best to run a close second in the parenting race.”
I’m grinning now through my tears and open my arms to wrap them around his broad shoulders.
“Will you say something, Georgie?” he says, his words muffled in my breasts.
A peel of laughter bursts from my chest and we both shake from the wild movement. And then I say the only thing that comes to mind at a moment like this, when your boyfriend-slash-baby-daddy asks you to marry him.
I notch my voice up an octave and speak in an animated voice, ruffling his hair with my hand. “Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…” I tip his head up with my finger under his chin and give him a smile.
“And I will love him and marry him and be with him forever and ever.”
The End
Epilogue
Lance - June
I once had a monster living inside me.
A dark, angry beast that would feed off my sorrow and my self-doubt. The monster I kept hidden inside me, chained up and determined to escape through any means possible. It was a villain and attacked me and beat me down until I was scraping from the bottom of the pit to get out alive.
But now, that monster has been subdued. Changed into a monster that only wants to love and fiercely protect its family. His wife and unborn child.
Yes, Mica and I are married. Going on two weeks now. Married at the same Maricopa County courthouse where Cade nearly two years ago had his run in with the law and it changed his destiny.
Ainsley and Cade stood up for us but we didn’t invite anyone else. In fact, we haven’t even told Mica’s family yet. About the marriage or the baby. She wants it to be just ours for a little while longer because she said once her family hears the news things will get ‘loco.’
In the meantime, we had a brief honeymoon in Sodona right after I graduated with my degree from ASU. It was perfect. She’s perfect. And tonight, she looks absolutely stunning as the Matron of Honor at Ainsley and Cade’s wedding reception.
Up until a few days ago, sh
e’d been feeling great, but suddenly has been plagued by morning sickness and dizzy spells. The doctor said there’s nothing to worry about, but for her to stay hydrated and keep off her feet as much as possible.
Which is where she’s right now, sitting at the reception table with her bare feet up on my lap. We’re both dressed to the nines in our groomsman and bridesmaid dress. It’s a pale peach dress that shows off the tawny colored skin of her shoulders. And I’ve been nibbling on it for the last fifteen minutes.
“God, you taste so good. You know, with this long tablecloth covering your legs, I could push up this skirt and do whatever I wanted to you right now.”
This earns a scoff and a swat of her hand, but that sexy smile on her lips tells me she likes the idea.
“Don’t give me any ideas, amando. I’m so horny I’d probably let you do anything to me right now.”
I glance around surreptitiously, checking to see if anyone can see us. But all I see are my friends out on the dance floor having a good time.
This has been an incredible night and a wonderful reunion of all our old friends. Everyone is here and it was a huge wedding event.
Carver and Logan flew in from Seattle. Logan has a break from school where she’s studying to become a dentist. And Carver is of course one of the highest paid rookies of the NBA. You can’t pass a newsstand or a sports channel without seeing his handsome, cocky smile on the cover of a news story.
“Do you think Carver and Logan will get engaged soon?” she asks, as if reading my mind.
I bite her earlobe, tugging it a little until she squirms on my lap. Wrong move. My dick is painfully engorged and stiff, ready to bust out of my zippered pants.
“I don’t know. Maybe…I know Carver finally got her to say yes to moving in with him. That girl is certainly independent. Most women when dating an NBA pro would want them to put a ring on it as soon as possible, but not her.”
Mica lifts her hand in front of her face, admiring her simple gold ring I gave her as a sign of my love and commitment. It’s not much, because I still have yet to get a job, but I am helping out Coach Parker this summer at a private basketball camp, so I’ll be earning some money at the very least. And then I’ll need to find something more permanent. If I like coaching, maybe I’ll see about sticking in that field.