by Matthew Fish
“To the end,” he adds with a touch of confidence in his voice. “We don’t know what it is, but we follow it to the end.”
“To the end…” Claire repeats.
I check the map. I notice that we could be there in less than 7 hours… especially given the speeds I’ve been travelling—however I notice that it takes us way too close to Los Angeles. Therefore the route detours high and up into parts of Yosemite National Park. I contemplate attempting to make the drive straight through—to arrive there in one day. However, my mind tells me that going anywhere near Los Angeles is a bad idea. Our route already is going to take us to cities I would rather avoid, but to get to Morro bay it is a necessity—there is no other way. We will eventually run into areas with possible populations.
An emergency broadcast pops up on the dashboards as I cross over the border and enter California. A man wearing plain clothes is standing in front of a camera. He is surrounded by rolling green hills; he points down to the road and begins to speak.
“It is believed that American submarines, under the orders of the government have launched nuclear strikes against targets—so far what I’ve heard is that… New York, Chicago, Miami, Flagstaff, and Kansas City have been hit. As you can see here…” The camera pans over to show the view of a mushroom cloud rising into the air. “This is what remains of New York City. Moments after the president issued a warning that in the next few days, if Calm is not restored to the country that more strikes will happen… never in history has the United States detonated a nuclear bomb over one of its own populated cities… Today, from this day—I am disgraced to call myself an American. Countries around the world are on high alert as they fear that our President may strike out against them… why he is even still in power—perhaps he is not. It is not certain what is going on. We may never know. All I can add at the end of it all is… I never thought it would come to this.”
“Making peace in a glass house with a sledgehammer…” Robert whispers.
“What was that?” Claire asks as she looks to me.
“A nuclear bomb or missile… either way,” I say as I shake my head. “We don’t just have to get to safety… we have to get out of this country.”
“I…” Claire begins as she struggles. “I have a boat… I mean we had a boat.”
“Do you think it is still there?”
“Still there…?”
“Shit…” I say as I rest my head back against the cushioned seat.
“Shit…”
“We’ll just have to take our chances and see—we have to get whatever info you have out of the country—this place has gone mad,” Robert says as he looks nervously off into the distance. There is nothing there, nothing but some clouds. We have made enough distance that it is no longer visible—but I feel that he still expects to see it somehow.
I drive for seven hours straight—we eat our meals in the car. We only stop for minutes to use the restroom… which amounts to squatting by the car or in a bush. We reach Yosemite National Park just as the sun is starting to go down. We make camp beneath the shadows of Wheeler Peak and Patterson Mountain.
“Are we sleeping in the car?” Robert asks as I grab a blanket and hand it to Claire.
“Yeah,” I say. “Is that a problem?”
“I’m not so good with small spaces… you got a tent?”
“There’s one in the trunk,” I say as I get out of the car and help unload some of the camping gear.
“Isn’t… a tent a small space?” Claire asks as she steps out into the cool air.
Robert looks confused at Claire for a moment and then laughs and continues to set up the rather small tent.
“It is pretty here,” Claire says as she watches the sunset glow a brilliant orange against the mountain peaks. “I’d like to come back here someday.”
“It’s magnificent,” I say as I look at all the towering mountains that surround us. “If we didn’t have the case… maybe we could have stayed here for a while.”
“To the end though?”
“Yeah…” I say as I let out heavy sigh. “I suppose that’s… it. There could be another way though. I mean, it might be too late—what we’re doing. It could all be for nothing. Maybe we should stay here for a while,” I say, searching or some kind of answer to all of this. I know it seems wrong to think this way, but after everything we have been through—would it be too much to ask to not have to endure any further grief? I know it is selfish. I know it is giving up. Haven’t we done enough already? Is there even anything left to do? Is there even an end to follow through? “We’re heading into places that could be dangerous. We might not make it, and for… nothing.”
“You don’t mean that,” Claire says as she strikes against my chest with her fists. “Take that back…!”
“I’m sorry,” I say as I pull her close and she begins to cry. “I just don’t want to lose what we have. We’ve lost everything else.”
“If you give up… everything we’ve been through… all your friends that you have lost. It’s for nothing. You’ve come this far, you can’t do this—I’ll go. I’ll take it myself if you give up. Then you’ll have to follow me—you promised. I love you, Ethan—you can’t give up. I won’t let you.”
“What if we die? I love you. I don’t want this to end,” I say as I allow the fear of the end of the journey to consume me. When it comes down to it—it is the fear of uncertainty. The knowledge that tomorrow we will reach our destination. The knowledge that we will not know what we will encounter there.
“You said it didn’t matter, as long as we die together.”
“Well I’d prefer to not die at all.”
“Who is dyin’?’ Robert asks as he returns to the car—he has finally completed his tent.
“I just… had some doubts,” I admit. “I thought maybe we should stay here for a while…. I was wrong.”
“Can’t put it off,” Robert says as he shrugs. “We can’t live out here forever. Got to face what you fear someday—so why not tomorrow?”
“I know,” I say as I hug Claire tightly in my arms. “I just had a moment of weakness.”
“Stay strong soldier,” Robert says as he pats me on the back. “I’m getting some sleep. Apparently we have somewhere to be tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Robert,” Claire says as she hugs the man.
“Goodnight guys,” Robert says as he head off into the night.
Claire and I climb into the car and recline the seats back. She reaches over and holds my hand tightly.
“I’m sorry I got upset with you…
“I’m sorry I lost faith for a moment,” I say, feeling even worse than she must. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“I know you were just scared—but I rely on you to be strong.”
“I just hope I never let you down,” I say as I smile briefly.
“You haven’t yet.”
“We should get some rest,” I say as I hold onto her hand. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Ethan,” Claire replies as she squeezes my hand.
That night I dream of the ocean again. I am on a boat. It is nighttime—the ocean is wide and spread out far before me. The moon is full and reflects against the surface of the water. It dances in the gentle lulling waves. I am in awe of the view ahead of me. I never realized how big, how vast it all was. I suppose it makes sense—most of the world is covered in water. I just never had it put into perspective until now. I look down to my hand, I don’t know why I have not noticed it before, but the metal case is dangling from my right hand. I place it up upon the side of the ship and side my finger across it. It flashes in green letters ‘ready.’ I take a deep breath in and open up the case. Millions of pieces of paper fly out like birds into the night sky. They fill the air in blinding flashes of white in the glow of their ambit. As they disappear, each piece of paper turns into beautiful, shimmering star.
“I returned them all,” Noah’s voice comes from beside me.
I take a few steps
back, startled. “You’re here.”
“And you are here…” Noah adds with a laugh. “Now that we’ve established that—would you look at those stars?”
“What does it all mean?” I ask as I look to the shimmering sky above. It is more beautiful than anything in nature I’ve seen in my life. “I don’t understand, what was all that about shapes, and stars—was that all just an act?”
“I suppose,” Noah says as he shrugs his shoulders and laughs. He places his hands against the side of the boat and looks up. “You know, you get caught up in things sometimes that you miss details—or you see what you want to see. If you look hard enough at something, you’ll start seeing shapes and patterns and all kinds of strange stuff.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
“Sure,” Noah says as he pats me on the back. “It’s your interpretation.”
“Is it the right one?”
“Does it matter?”
“Why did you choose me?” I say as I look to Noah. “…seriously, why me out of… everyone…?”
“You’ve been asking yourself that a lot lately.”
“Well, it’s pretty relevant. “
“You know what you should be asking yourself instead,” Noah says as he lets out another laugh.
“What?”
“Why not you…?”
“I’ve failed though, you know,” I say as I hang my head down. “Whatever plan you had for me, I’ve failed. You died for nothing.”
“Plans fail,” Noah says as he smiles. “I’m not god.”
“But I don’t even know how to complete what you had me set out to do,” I say as I shake my head.
“You know how can start, Ethan?”
“How…?”
“You should wake up, Ethan.”
“Ethan, wake up,” Claire whispers. “Please get up.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask as jolt awake.
“They’re coming,” Claire says as she panics. “Seats up.”
“How…? I mean we’re out so far,” I say as I look around, confused. “What are they doing out here?”
“I don’t know—they’re drawn to me. I guess… there were some in the area… I don’t know. They’re so angry. I don’t… I don’t think I can calm them down.” Claire says as she looks around in the darkness. “Robert…”
“I’ll get him,” I say as I step out the car.
“Hurry,” Claire says as her eyes are wide.
“Robert!” I shout as I make my way to his tent. I give it a sharp kick with the side of my foot to stir him. I know it is rather rude, but now is no time for good manners. “Robert! Get up!”
“Christ,” Robert mutters as he unzips the tent. “What is it?”
“Get dressed quickly,” I say as I place my black glasses on and scan the area. I do not see any sign of life out there… yet. “You have to get in the car.”
“I don’t like small spaces…”
“Just get to the fucking car,” I say as I continue to look around. “Aggros are coming.”
“Out here?” Robert asks as he puts his suit back on. “How did they get all the way out here?”
“Don’t know,” I say as I begin to run with Robert back to the car. “Claire can tell though—she knows when they are getting close.”
As I climb into the car, I get an idea. “Claire can you get into the back and hand that gun of Robert’s up?”
“Yeah,” Claire says as she squeezes through the center console and hands the assault rifle to Robert who climbs into the passenger seat.
I lock the doors—I know the car is bullet proof. I have no idea if it is Aggro proof. I see a few flashes of orange between the trees. I turn on the car and begin to drive along the dirt road. I come to a dead stop as an Aggro woman lets out a loud scream; she is carrying a large long, dragging it behind her as she stumbles her way towards us.
“Should I roll down the window?” Robert asks as he looks to me.
I throw caution to the wind and floor it, I knock the Aggro to the ground and with a few rather uncomfortable bumps we drive over her.
“You’ll have to back up…” Claire says as she looks behind us. The red tail lights of the Mazda illuminate the woman as she attempts to get back up.
“Damn it,” I mutter as I throw the car into reverse and hit the gas. Two more bumps shake the car as I roll over the body. I stop, and throw it into drive—once again I repeat the process. I look behind me and see a bloody mess.
“Yeah, you’re good now,” Claire says matter-of-factly as though this is no big deal.
I navigate the roads and come across a group of three more. They are all unarmed, however they are large males. I doubt that the car can take on three at a time. I start to reverse as I pull the handgun from my pocket. “Windows down.”
Robert Climbs halfway out the window and begins to spray at the three men approaching. They take a few hits but keep on coming. I help by firing a few shots off a well. He sprays one more time into the group and they fall like trees.
“This ain’t so bad,” Robert says as he laughs and reloads his weapon.
“Don’t jinx us,” I moan as we another corner and come face to face with a mob of about ten of them.
“They’re coming from behind as well,” Claire says as she looks behind the car. “Two of them… one male one female… pretty average size.”
“They’re charging at us…” Robert says as he places the nozzle of his rifle and aims ahead.
“Save your ammo,” I say as I put the car into reverse.
Robert reaches for the door handle. “I’ll buy you guys some time—try and make a hole. You bust through and make it to that boat of yours, just finish… finish what you’ve started.”
I shake my head as I lock the doors. “Just stay in the car, Robert.”
“Stay in the car…” Claire whispers from behind me.
“I’m taking us back—there’s no going ahead,” I say as I rev the engine and keep my other foot on the brake.
“Let me be brave…” Robert says as he messes with the door. “You can keep going.”
“There’s a difference between being brave and being suicidal,” I say as I press the pedal down to the floor. A loud thump causes the car to buffet wildly as the rear bumper sends the Aggros flying back. I keep my foot down. A few more bumps rock the car as we make our way over the two Aggros. I quickly do a turnabout and head back the way I came. I know that this means we will be very close to a few unavoidable highly populated cities… there is just no helping it at this point. I drive as fast as I can, always weary for any signs of movement from my black glasses.
“We’re losing them,” Claire whispers as she stares out the back window.
Robert takes his assault rifle from the window and places it between his knees. “I could have made a path. Now we’re in trouble, right?”
“It’s a possibility,” I say as command for the windows to roll back up. “Enough people have died needlessly. If we can find another way, we should do that. We still need your help—we may need it even more when we reach our destination.”
“Out of the frying pan and into the fire I guess,” Robert says as he lets out a sigh and rests his head in the seat.
“GPS… fastest route,” I say, as I begin to head off into the darkness.
The map lights up a red-lined route. It is not as bad as I thought. It appears that the only major city we have to worry about is Fresno. It appears that I have gone north enough that we will bypass the outlying cities of Los Angeles after all. It is good that Robert did not do anything stupid—especially when there was another way.
“Population of Fresno…?”
“Fresno California has an estimated population of three-hundred thousand people.”
“Arrival time to Fresno?” I ask as I shake my head. Perhaps we should find a way around it, if there is one… Then again, making this trip and avoiding contact with densely populated areas was going to turn impossible eventually. Then there is t
he risk of another nuclear strike. I’d like to not be around anywhere very large if that were to happen again.
“Four hours at this current speed and on the major roads.”
“Four hours,” Robert says as he rubs his hands together. “That’s not much time man.”
“Are we almost safe?” Claire asks.
“Things might get a little… rough,” I answer. “Soon though, we are almost there.”
I continue on into the night. My stomach feels sick once more—that uneasy nervous feeling that something terrible looms just beyond the next hill. I try and calm myself. I think of better times, I try and reassure myself that everything is going to be alright—even if I cannot get myself to completely, or even remotely, believe it. As the travel time begins to tick away. The sun begins to rise giving a golden glow to the air around us. I begin to see cars scattered along the highway, abandoned, burned, and some even have long dead bodies in them. I do not know why. I begin to worry.
As we pass through a series of large golden hills, we descend into a thick smoke. The smoke is so heavy that I can only see about a mile ahead of me. I rely on the map to guide me.
“Switching to recycling inside air… outside air quality is very poor,” the female computer announces.
“It’s from the fires,” Robert says looks out the window ahead. “This whole area has been burning—people have been starting fires and no one is around to put them out.”
“Fires…” Claire whispers.
“This doesn’t make me feel much better,” I say as the GPS routes us off of the main highway just outside of Fresno.
“Why are we leaving the interstate?”
“The road ahead is impassible,” the female voice answers.
“Distance to Morro Bay?”
“Two hours,” the car answers back.
We approach buildings. They have all been broken down—looted. A raging fire lies ahead of us as we navigate the streets. A woman carrying a baseball bat runs out and begins to strike against the windshield. Robert backs away as he is startled.
“Too loud…” Claire whispers.