Nora pushed further, gently squeezing his forearm. “No, tell me. What?”
He met her gaze and then quickly cast his eyes down again. “What if I lose?”
He said it so quickly, so full of tension and nerves, that her heart squeezed in her chest. “Kane, there’s no way you’re going to lose. You’ve been training nonstop for as long as I’ve known you.”
He shook his head slowly. “I don’t know. There are no second chances in a career like this once you have the limelight. Even though I’ve been training for years, this weekend is the start of everything. If I win this, I’ll be going on to the world championships, to things no one else in my family has ever been able to achieve. If I lose, it’s over before it really gets started. You either hit it big or you’ll be forgotten.”
Nora started to disagree, her brows furrowed. “Kane—”
“Nora, this is all I have. It’s all I know.” His blue eyes swam with emotion as she looked up at him, and for the first time, she got it. The worn look on his face from the night before made sense now. She got how much this fight defined him, and what it really meant to him, even if she saw him as so much more than a fighter. He continued, “I’ve put everything on the line for this fight. For my entire future career, if I’m lucky enough to have one. This is all that I am.”
Inhaling slowly, she touched her hand to his, softly. Maybe it was the drinks she’d had, or maybe she was finally tired of pushing people away, but all she wanted right now was to let him in. How real he’d just been with her, exposing his most vulnerable self; it was all she could do not to press her lips to his. The way he looked in a tight T-shirt over dark jeans, every muscle on display. The memory of how perfect he had once felt around her, on her, in her…she’d said she didn’t want a romance, but she had changed her mind a long time ago and was maybe only just realizing it now.
Now, when it was too late, and she couldn’t act on it. Because if she did, if she told him how much she wanted him, something in her gut said he’d pick her. Despite everything he’d said about how much it meant to him, he’d risked everything when he’d dealt with her mother’s bookie. And she was afraid he’d do that again.
She gently squeezed her fingers around his and licked her lips. All she wanted him to know was that she believed in him, that she’d never believed in anything else as much. “If it matters, Kane, you’re so much more than your career to me.”
His eyes burned into her as he stared. His face said a million things at once, as if he was wrestling with what to do, what to feel, what to want. When he did finally speak, his voice was low and husky. Full of pain and happiness all at the same time. “That means everything to me, kitty.”
“Well, I mean it. And not because of what happened, or didn’t happen, between us. I would have said the same thing long before that. You’re a good guy, Kane. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, especially me.” After everything he’d done for her, and after she’d spent so long spurning his advances, that was probably an understatement.
“Shit, kitty, you’re going to make me cockier than I already am,” he teased, pushing a lock of hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
She could tell he wanted to switch topics, go for something lighter. “I don’t think you’ve ever really needed help in that department.”
“Maybe.” He let his fingers linger in her hair for just a moment, before sliding them down her neck, over her shoulder, and down her arm. “Maybe you can tell the girls you’re tired and want to leave?”
Nora furrowed her brows. “I’m not tired.”
“I’m asking you to spend the night with me, kitty.”
Nora gulped as she quickly finished her water and put it down on the bar. “Oh.”
“Come on,” Kane lowered his voice even further, leaning in and letting his lips whisper softly against her ear. “Remember how much fun we used to have? I just want us to be that way again. Spend another night with me.”
He was so warm against her, his body so firm, so inviting, but this was a slippery slope they’d already been down. “The way we used to be?” Nora stepped back from him and took a deep breath, knowing with full certainty that she’d never be happy going back to a no-strings-attached arrangement, not after she’d realized just how strongly she felt about him, and how much his focus needed to be elsewhere. “We can’t go back to the way things were, Kane. And I don’t think either of us actually wants to. Last night was an anomaly, but it was innocent and sweet and meant everything to me. I like you too much, and we’ve shared too much, to settle for anything less.”
With that, she rose up and gave him a soft peck on his cheek. His eyes tore through her, but he said nothing.
Nora headed back into the crowd to rejoin her friends. She wanted Kane, but she didn’t want him on those terms anymore, and certainly not at his expense. She wanted either everything or nothing, and she needed to find a way to be okay with whichever outcome occurred.
She just wasn’t sure how to do that.
Chapter 21
Kane punched the heavy bag with such force that Rory, who was holding it for him, coughed at the impact. “You all right?” Kane asked.
Rory coughed again and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Got the wind knocked out of me a little there.”
“Guess I don’t know my own massive, Hulk-like strength,” Kane teased.
Rory laughed. “You’re well aware, trust me. You’re ready for tomorrow.”
“I’m going to tear that motherfucker apart,” Kane said with a wicked grin. After all the press junkets he’d had to do in the last two days, each of them with Xavier and his under-the-belt taunts by his side, Kane was more than ready to teach the hothead jock a lesson.
“Without a doubt,” Rory agreed. “At least now. Your fight has improved dramatically in the last month.”
Kane shrugged. “I was always one to procrastinate.”
“I think it’s all the bullshitting you’re doing,” Rory disagreed.
“What are you talking about?” Kane took a drink from his water bottle and wiped the sweat from his brow with a cloth.
“Losing a woman can be a great motivator to punch the hell out of someone.”
“I didn’t lose anything,” Kane said, gritting his teeth. Although, deep down, he knew that he had, and last night had been the first time he’d really understood what that meant. When Nora turned him down and told him their former arrangement was no longer okay with her, he was shocked and hurt. Women didn’t turn him down, and somehow, he’d lumped Nora in with that crowd.
And if there was one thing he knew now, Nora wasn’t like anyone else.
Rory continued. “That’s true, you don’t lose. You forfeit before you have the chance of losing.”
“What the fuck are you saying? You saying I’m going to bail on tomorrow? There’s no way in hell I’m going to be a no-show at that fight,” Kane promised him, aggravated that such a question would even be posed.
Rory was undeterred. “I’m not talking about the fight. That means nothing. It’s a prize belt on the wall and a good story to tell, but no one to tell it to. People are what matter, Kane.”
“Says the man who was so upset at losing this same championship that he almost killed himself with pills and booze,” Kane fired back, knowing he was definitely crossing a line.
Rory’s face didn’t show any offense, though; it was as if he knew exactly what Kane was doing. Seeing Rory’s lack of reaction unnerved him and gave even more weight to his brother’s words. A moment of silence passed between them before Rory started again, his voice softer. “Do you remember the time I almost lost Clare?”
Kane nodded, feeling the pain he saw flash over his brother’s face and remembering how frightened he’d been that night, too.
“That was when I knew none of it mattered. The pills, the booze, the fight…none of it. Without her, I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wasn’t happy. I always thought the fight was the only thing
that could do that, and when that dream was taken away, I was devastated. But when I met Clare, it was a revelation. Being with her was so much better than anything I ever was before I met her.”
Kane stared at his brother, trying to understand the purpose behind his story. Trying to understand how it was possible that someone could feel that much love and faith in a single person, rather than in himself.
“Do you know what I’m saying, Kane?”
Kane shook his head. “I’ve only got myself to count on in this life, Rory.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not. I got myself here. I worked day and night for this. I gave everything.” Kane pointed at his chest. “Just me.”
Rory’s face twisted up in confusion. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Kane just stared at him, because no—he wasn’t kidding. He’d worked hard to get his family to notice him. He’d worked hard to become the best. He’d overcome every obstacle and never let anything get in his way. His focus didn’t waver, and he had pushed away anything that got in the way of that…including Nora.
“Kane, you should be very proud of everything you did to get here,” Rory started, shaking his head as though he was surprised even to be having this conversation. “But if in any way you think you did this by yourself, then you’re the dumbest fucking person I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not—”
“Stop.” Rory held up one hand, palm out, like he was pushing the words back at Kane. “Just listen. If it weren’t for the gym Dad built and put all his time into, you wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for Mom’s support, encouragement, and love, you wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for me training you, you wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for Kieran giving you his stage name, Killer, and stepping out of the limelight, you wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for Quinn managing you, getting you endorsements, and making you a media sensation, you wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for Jimmy letting things slide, losing a few police reports here and there back in the day, you wouldn’t be here. If it weren’t for Nora, all those kids who look up to you back at home, you wouldn’t fucking be here. Are you getting my point yet? Your life is entirely made up of sacrifices from the people who love you, and you’d be damn smart to realize that fast.”
With that, Rory turned on his heel and walked out of the training room, leaving Kane to reevaluate everything he’d once thought about his life…and the people in it.
Chapter 22
“Nora, are you in here?”
Nora poked her head out of her bedroom to see Fiona standing in the living room with a long black garment bag. “Hey Fi, what’s up?”
“How are you feeling after last night?” Fiona draped the bag over the back of the couch and headed for the suite’s minibar. “I was so hungover this morning.”
“I see it turned you off drinking,” Nora said, chuckling as she watched Fiona make herself a cocktail. “I was pretty much sobered up by the time I went to sleep. Then I drank a lot of water when I woke up, and I just got back from the pool. Got some much-needed sun.”
“Look at you, so smart,” Fi replied. “I’m glad, because I need you at your best today!”
Nora grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down at the table, where she had a fresh, new color of nail polish waiting for her. “Really? What’s going on?”
Fiona looked around the room mischievously and pointed to the other bedroom door. “Is Casey here?”
“No.” Nora shook her head. “She’s having lunch with Seamus and Dee. She’s still crazy red, but it’s actually gone down a lot since yesterday.”
“So we’re alone?”
Nora looked at her friend and raised an eyebrow in query. “Yes…what’s going on? You’re making me nervous!”
Fiona grinned and sat down next to her, grabbing the bottle of polish and starting to apply the nails on Nora’s left hand. “I’ve got really exciting news. Everyone’s going to find out soon, but I wanted to tell you first. It’s been killing me to keep this from you.”
“I’m going to literally slap you if you don’t tell me right this second,” Nora said.
Fiona laughed. “Okay, okay, hold your horses! So, Kieran and I…”
Nora stared at her, waiting. “Damn, Fi—Kieran and you what? Spit it out, woman!”
“We’re getting married!”
Nora blinked, her shoulders slumping as she let out an exasperated sigh. “That was a lot of buildup for news I found out months ago, Fi.”
“No, no, I’m not talking about us being engaged. I mean, we’re getting married—today!” Fiona’s eyes were completely lit up, her smile from ear to ear. “As in, that’s my dress in that bag right there, and I’m getting married in two hours!”
Nora jumped straight up off her chair, knocking the nail polish bottle over on the table. “Holy shit! Are you serious? Today? What! What about all your plans?”
Fiona grabbed at the bottle and wiped up the mess with a napkin, laughing as she motioned for Nora to sit back down so she could finish her nails. “This was always the plan, girl. You know Kieran and me, we’re not big-wedding people like Clare and Rory. We’re off-the-beaten-path, low-key kind of people. Plus, how fun that we get to surprise everyone!”
“Fun for you, maybe! I don’t even have a dress!”
Fiona waved her hand like it was no big deal. “I’ve got one for you; it’ll be fine.”
Nora stared at her fingers as Fiona continued painting them. “I’m both furious at you for keeping this secret from me, and I’m freaking excited as hell!”
Fiona grinned. “I knew you’d get it.”
Another thought suddenly popped into Nora’s mind. “Oh! This is why you brought Shea to Vegas! I thought it was so weird that you were bringing a kid here!”
Fiona laughed. “Of course! Please, I’m not a total psycho. My sister has to be there for my wedding, plus she’s literally spent the whole time in the hotel room watching on-demand kid’s movies, reading her book, and ordering the most expensive room service possible. It’s like her dream come true—everything she wants without having to interact with anyone.”
“That’s true,” Nora agreed. Shea definitely didn’t like crowds much. “Quinn said he tried to take her to a circus show last night, and she refused. Dee took her to a couple of the restaurants and she did okay in them.”
“Yeah, she’s doing so great. She’s got her quirks, but in the last year, she’s flourished at her new school, and it’s made all the difference.”
“And now she’ll have a daddy!”
Fiona blushed. “Kieran’s not her dad! He’s her brother-in-law.”
“You’re like her mom, Fi.”
“Whatever you call it.” Fiona chuckled. “We’ll be one big family. Kieran’s going to move out of Kane’s apartment and into ours when we get back, since we’ll be officially married.”
“Does she know?”
“Definitely. I know I said I wanted to tell you first, but we told Shea weeks ago. She needed time to adjust, you know?”
“But me, you’ll spring the news on two hours before the wedding,” Nora said, blowing on her now-finished nails to dry them faster.
Fiona laughed and threw her arms around Nora’s neck, giving her a huge hug. “Two freaking hours! I need to get ready in here so he doesn’t see me, okay? Can you help?”
“Of course! Who’s telling everyone else?” Nora asked.
“Kieran is doing that now. I’m going to hit the shower,” Fiona told her, heading for the bedroom. “You need to check out your dress! It’s in the bag next to mine!”
“Ooh, yay!” Nora unzipped the bag and pulled out a sleeveless, deep-green cocktail dress that circled her neck with a high collar and buttoned up the back. It was sparkly and short and absolutely stunning against her blond hair. “I love it, Fi!”
“I’m so glad!” came Fiona’s muffled voice from the bathroom. “Oh, um, by the way, you know you’re my maid of honor, right?”
No
ra scrunched up her brows, pretty sure that had already been established. “Yeah?”
“And the maid of honor walks down the aisle with the…”
“Best man,” Nora finished. She grabbed her makeup kit and headed into the bathroom, sitting fully clothed on the toilet as her friend showered. “Don’t worry. Kane and I will be on our best behavior.”
Fiona popped her head around the edge of the shower curtain and smiled at her. “Oh, I bet! I saw you two talking last night. It was looking cozy.”
Nora snorted, shaking her head. “It’s complicated, Fi.”
“It’s really not. You two are just the opposite of Kieran and me.”
“What?” Nora looked up from the mascara she was putting on. “How do you figure?”
“When Kieran met me, he pursued me hard. I must have told him to forget about it a thousand times, but he kept at it anyway. I think I even suggested just sex at one point, but he wanted to be married from day one. He’s nuts.”
Nora smiled, because Kieran was definitely all serious, all the time. After he was released from jail the second time, he knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time trying to get it. “I can’t wait for the wedding. You guys are so good together, Fi.”
“We are,” she agreed with a happy sigh. “But listen, I think Clare and Rory were the same way. She told him no, and so he just kept showing up until she finally gave in.”
“So your argument is that true love is found through stalking?” Nora laughed, standing up and hunching over the counter so she could be closer to the mirror as she applied eye shadow. “Sound advice, Fi.”
Fiona giggled and turned off the water, then stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. “That’s not my point. My point is that nobody knows what they want in this world. We’re all just stumbling around making things as difficult as possible for ourselves. Just learning to let go and give in, that’s the key.”
“I think giving in is how I got into this predicament in the first place,” Nora countered.
“Just because you guys were sleeping together doesn’t mean you let go. You were still holding your heart at bay. It’s the same thing I did with Kieran. The longer you hold back, the more fucked-up things get.”
Becoming a Legend Page 19