by Simply BWWM
She opened her eyes again and saw that his gaze had grown intense on her, and his lips were parted slightly. He closed his eyes and brought his mouth to hers, kissing her softly, sweetly, deeply, and she couldn’t help but give in to it and kiss him in return, sighing softly has he held her close in his arms and tasted her mouth with his, sharing her breath and some of her spirit.
He finally let her go, and she felt lightheaded, as if she had stood up too fast or spun around in a circle too many times, and everything inside of her was spinning. Taking his arms from around her, he stood up and shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I have the hardest time resisting you. That electricity is still there for me.” He sighed and slid his hands into his pants pockets.
She stood up beside him and looked up into his warm brown eyes. “I know. “
Dane lifted his brows. “Can you feel it too?” he asked breathlessly.
“Every moment that we are together,” she answered him honestly. She didn’t even regret saying it; it was the truth, plain and simple.
Dane nodded, and with visible difficulty, he turned from her and walked away, and she followed him. They saw a little more of the temple and the grounds, and then got back into the car and headed into Kailua for their business lunch.
He stopped at a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant on a back street a few blocks from the center of town, and they got pulled pork meals to go. Then, he drove them to Lanikai beach, where the sand was like white powder from heaven, and they sat together on a big blanket beneath a tree that hung far out over the beach and gave them shade as they watched the waves rolling in.
They were halfway through lunch when she looked at him and frowned. “Hey, I thought you said we were going on a business lunch today.” She was confused that they hadn’t met anyone else, though she wasn’t about to complain about the great time they were having. Even the tension between them seemed to have abated enough that they were relaxed and enjoying one another’s company.
He laughed and nodded, almost as if he had just remembered it himself. “Oh, yeah. So, we’re flying out to New Zealand on Friday.”
Her mouth fell open. “What?” she asked with wide eyes and a pounding heart.
“Yeah, it’s your plan. Your expansion plan. You and I are going to New Zealand to check it out on Friday. It’s a long flight. I thought we’d make a long weekend of it. Plus, I haven’t been there yet, have you?” he asked, taking another bite of his lunch.
She shook her head, astounded. “No, I haven’t been there yet.”
“Great, then we’ll go get a good look at it. I thought we’d take the company jet.” He smiled widely at her, and she could not help but laugh at him.
“Wait, this is your idea of a business lunch?” She shot at him with a teasing laugh. “To take me out for pulled pork and sit on the beach and tell me we’re going to New Zealand?”
He shrugged lightly. “Yeah, that’s about it.” He chuckled then and gave her a mischievous look. “It was the only way that I could get you out of the office with me.”
She laughed at him again, and they finished the rest of their lunch. With it gone, they walked along the water line, letting the small waves wash up on their feet. The water was aquamarine blue, and it felt like she was dreaming again, it was so beautiful. He held her hand as they walked, their fingers entwined, and though she knew she shouldn’t do it, she let him, just as she let him take her into his arms and kiss her long and slow when they had reached a far end of the beach where no one else was around. She loved the feeling of being in his arms and kissing him. It still felt to her as if the whole world had vanished away, and there was nothing left in it at all but just the two of them.
After a long afternoon, he took her back to the office, and she felt a sense of bubbling joy, almost to the point of giddiness, and nothing could take the smile from her face. She felt as if she was walking on air and glowing, all at once. Tia didn’t say anything, but she smiled wide when she saw Nicole, and she gave her the new messages and then later on she bid her goodnight and left. Nicole left shortly after Tia did, going home still sailing on her pretty cloud of bliss.
Jeffrey didn’t see anything really unusual about her, though he did ask her if she had a good day, and she beamed when she said yes, she had a great day, and she left it at that. He seemed preoccupied with his interests in Pono, and she let him enjoy those while she enjoyed her own.
She slept with sweet dreams in her head, dreams of beaches and kisses and travel and his hot hard body against hers, making her feel more pleasure than she ever had. She woke with a smile still on her face, and it didn’t fade until she walked out of the elevator the next morning and saw Paul sitting there just a few feet from Tia’s desk, and Tia sitting behind her desk with a renewed scowl barely hidden in her expression.
“Paul!” Nicole exclaimed in surprise as she stopped almost in mid-step. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled and stood up out of his chair, grinning at her as he walked over to her with his arms outstretched. She let him hug her, and then she stepped back to avoid any further advance from him.
“I came to see my girl!” he began with a friendly tone.
She sighed and leveled her gaze at him. “Paul, we talked about this. I’m not your girl.”
Turning from him, she began to walk to her office. She knew that whatever he was there to talk with her about, it would be subject matter that she didn’t want the whole office to know. She and Tia only had one part of the office. There were other employees, other secretaries, and other people coming and going from the main area where they were, and she didn’t want any of them to hear her conversation with Paul.
He followed her like a puppy into her office and took a seat at her desk as she closed the door behind them.
“Oh good! You got the roses that I sent you!” He looked completely pleased about it, seeing them sitting in the crystal vase on the table behind her desk.
“Yes, I did. That was sweet, Paul, and thank you, but you shouldn’t have done that.” She sat down with a soft sigh and wished that he wasn’t sitting in front of her.
“Yes, I should. I should have done a lot of things differently, and I am here to make up for what I haven’t done right. I’m going to do it all right this time. You’ll see. I’m going to win you back. You are going to be my girl again. Now please, come to dinner with me. Give me a chance here, okay?” he implored, his eyes searching her face.
She looked away from him. “I said I would go.”
“Great!” He looked as if he might have just won the lottery. “Can I pick you up at your house? Tonight? I’ll need the address of course.”
Nicole shook her head. “No, I’ll meet you. Where do you want to go?”
“I was thinking we could go to Duke’s.” He looked hopeful. “I hear it’s some of the best on the island.”
“Sure. That’s fine. I’ll meet you at Duke’s.” She resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to get out of it.
“At seven?” he asked as he stood up, his eyes still on her.
“See you at seven, now please… Paul, I have to get back to work.” She felt a little guilty about her defensive mood toward him, and she gave him a little smile. “Go explore the island and have some fun, and I’ll see you later. Have a good day.”
His face was alight with joy. “I’ll do that! See you tonight.” He walked backward toward the door and didn’t turn away from her until he had to walk out of the room. Paul waved, still smiling at her, and then he left.
She dropped her face into her hands and groaned, wondering how anyone had the patience to deal with more than one man at a time. Putting the awkward morning behind her, she turned her attention to her work, and in no time at all, the day slipped right past her, and before she knew it, it was time to go.
Opting for the nice side of casual, Nicole wore a dress that buttoned up the front. The hem lay just below her knee, and the sleeves were just above her elbow. Her hair was in a
braid down the back of her head, and she slipped her feet into stylish sandals. She wanted to look nice without drawing any more of his attention.
At seven that evening, she walked into Duke’s and found him waiting for her. He rose quickly from his seat by the door and grinned at her, giving his head a shake.
“You look incredible, but then you always do. Even first thing in the morning. I miss that. Seeing you first thing in the morning.” He looked wistful for a moment, as if he was longing for that moment to suddenly become a morning for them.
“Did you get a table?” she asked, keeping him on topic.
He nodded. “Yes! Yes, I did. Let’s go sit down.” He smiled again, and they were taken to a table with a little bit of privacy. She was grateful for that.
When their drinks were ordered, she turned their conversation to the serious matter at hand.
“Paul, I’m not really sure what it is that you’re doing or why you’re in Hawaii, but you can’t keep coming by the office and pressuring me to come back to you.” She said it as kindly as she could, but she could see that it was a blow to him.
He looked sad for a long moment. Then, with a shake of his head, he leaned toward her and spoke in a low voice. “Look, Nicole, I don’t know how I can make it any clearer to you. I want you back. I love you. I want to live with you.”
She closed her eyes for a second and sighed, making herself take a deep breath before she spoke again. “I know you said that, and that’s not what I meant. I mean… why. Why are you doing all this? Why does it suddenly matter now? Why didn’t it matter back in San Francisco when I took the job and you freaked out and said I had to choose the job or you, and when I chose the job and asked you to move here with me, just weeks ago, you wouldn’t hear a word about it! You wanted no part of this new life.
Now, all of a sudden, you’re here and you’re begging me to give you another shot and take you back, and you have no greater wish that to be with me and move in with me! How on earth could everything have changed so much in a matter of weeks that you’re suddenly willing to change your whole life, when you were dead set against it before? Why does it matter now all of a sudden when it didn’t matter at all before?”
It was the most frustrating, confounding thing to her, and she couldn’t stand the confusion.
His eyes widened, and he looked as if he had been shot with adrenaline. “I didn’t realize then just how much I love you and how much I need you! I know it sounds awful, but I guess I just got so used to having you around that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, and then all of a sudden, you were gone, and there was nothing but emptiness. I don’t like the emptiness and I don’t want it. I want you. I want things back the way that they were before or better. I can make sure that it’s better,” he vowed seriously.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “So, you’re willing to totally relocate when you flat out refused before.”
He nodded. “Well, yeah, I mean it’s a big move. Huge. It’s an enormous sacrifice for me to leave California behind. All of my friends are there, my home is there, my whole life is there! Coming here meant that I would have to give that all up, and I just wasn’t ready to do that.”
Nicole arced one eyebrow. “And now, you’re suddenly ready to make that enormous sacrifice just to be with me, when I didn’t mean enough to you to make that same sacrifice just weeks ago, and now I suddenly mean enough to you that you are willing to drop your whole life and make that sacrifice.” She didn’t believe him at all, but she didn’t think she should say it to him.
“Yes!” he replied emphatically. “Yes! I am so ready to make that sacrifice for you now because now I know just how much it sucks that you’re gone. Now, I know what I had when I had you and us, and it’s all gone! I mean… I am miserable!” He leaned even closer and searched her eyes. “Aren’t you miserable?” he implored.
She stared at him. She could see that he meant it. He really did mean it, and reality closed in on her. She wasn’t miserable without him. She wasn’t unhappy without him at all. There was no heartbreak. There was no sadness. There wasn’t even a shadow of disappointment. There was less than that. There was nothing. He was miserable, and to her he could have been just another stranger on the street.
She couldn’t say it to him, though. Not to this man who was sitting on the edge of his seat before her, hoping, wishing that she would take him back. It would be cruel. She had to think of some other answer.
Nicole could not hide the impatience in her voice. “Paul… look. I’ve just started a new job, the biggest job of my life. So, I’m busy with work. I’ve just moved into a new house, and Jeffrey is here with me, so that’s been an adjustment, and we’re working all that out, and I’m trying to get settled into my new home, and I just haven’t had time to think about anything to do with us or our past.
We broke up, Paul. I put it behind me. I moved on. We’re done. I don’t have the time or the energy to mope about overanalyzing all of the troubles we had and add all that romantic drama to my plate. I have a whole new life going on here. I have been focusing on building that.”
It was mostly true. The part that she had left out was that he no longer mattered to her. He hadn’t mattered to her in a while, but she hadn’t brought herself to the point where she could admit it until it was time to make the choice about changing her whole life for the job in Hawaii. If he had mattered to her at that point, she might not have gone, but it was because she was already over him and didn’t realize it that she was able to take the job and walk right out the door of a six-month relationship without really batting an eye.
Panic flooded his eyes. “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it?” he asked, his heart in his throat.
She shook her head. “No, I’m not seeing anyone else. Didn’t you just hear what I said about how busy I am building my new life? I’m too busy for that! Everything is up in the air, and I’m working to pin it all down right now.”
“You’re going to have time,” he told her earnestly. “You’re going to have some time soon to think about it all, and when you do, you’re going to realize that you do miss me. You’re going to think about me all the time and miss me, just like I miss you, and when that happens, I am going to be right here, ready and waiting to romance you right back into my arms again and win you back. I am going to do it. You will be mine again. My girl.”
“I’m not your girl, Paul, and the reason I’m not your girl is because you made the decision to break up with me rather than coming here with me. This ended relationship between us? It’s because you ended it. You’re sitting there saying that you miss me, but we’re done because that was the choice that you made, not me. My choice was that you move here with me, but you didn’t want that, and you didn’t want me. So, we’re done.” She leaned back in her seat and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.
He lifted his chin as if he was accepting a challenge. “Okay. All right. I’ll own that. I made a big mistake, but even if I have to start from scratch to fix this, I’m going to. I won you once. I can do it again.”
She sighed and shrugged. “Look, I can’t stop you. You do what you think you have to do, but I’m asking you now to give me some space. I can’t have you around all the time, coming to the office, trying to come after me like you are. I already told you, I have a new job and a new home and a brand-new life that I’m trying to build, and I do not have time for old flames trying to rekindle in my life.” She hoped that she had made herself crystal clear.
“Nothing is going to stop me.” He looked as if he had been handed a torch, and it might be his life’s mission to complete his set task.
“Look, Paul… I’m sorry, but I’m just not hungry now. We’ve talked, and we had drinks, but I need to go. I can’t stay here and keep hashing this out like this. Thank you for the drink.” She stood up. They hadn’t ordered their food yet, and she knew that if she was going to go, it was the best time to do it. Cut the night short with a swift, clean cut.
He looke
d crestfallen, but he accepted her choice and walked her out to her car, kissing her cheek before she left.
Chapter8
A short while later, she was at home, sitting on the deck with a glass of wine and head full of tangled thoughts when Jeffrey walked out and sat by her.
“How did dinner with the ex go?” he asked casually but with sincere interest.
She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I didn’t stay long enough for dinner.”
“That’s not good,” Jeffrey mused. “So, what did he say?”
“A lot of the same. He loves me. He wants me back. He wants to move in with me.” She shook her head and sipped her wine.
“And how do you feel about it? How do you feel about him?” Jeffrey searched her eyes and face.
Nicole pursed her lips and drew in a deep breath as she thought about it for a long moment. “Honestly, something in my heart feels hollow around him. The desire that I used to have for him is gone. There’s nothing for him inside me anymore; it’s like the remnants of a burnt house.”