by Tess Oliver
“Just point me to a spot and I can start.”
***
After a few hours of sanding, Greg called a break and pulled a couple of beers out of the ice chest. He looked out at the water. He’d pulled his long hair back in a strip of leather and had put on his Oakley sunglasses. “I’ve spent so many hours out on the water, but I never tire of this view. I think I might have been a shark or a seal in a past life. Saltwater flows in my veins.”
“I think I’ve got some in mine too. Sometimes it feels like I spend more time underwater than above it. Even when I’m not working, I’m living on a friend’s boat or vacationing at the beach.”
“Noelle mentioned you were in the navy.”
“I was. It was a more natural choice for me than college.”
I couldn’t see his eyes through his dark glasses, but for a second, as he looked out at the ocean, it seemed he’d fallen back into a long ago memory. “I was in my early twenties when they started the Vietnam lottery. Lost a good many friends to the war, and a few who came back were never quite the same. My birthday never came up, and I felt guilty about it.” He shook his head. “Your fate was completely determined by the day you were born and the letters in your name. It all seemed too crazy to comprehend. I wasn’t surprised when Hayden enlisted. He was always up for adventure. As crazy as he was about Noelle, he loved the idea of danger too. He was sure he’d come back, so that false confidence made it easier for him to leave.” He lit the joint. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
He stared at the weed with admiration. “This stuff helps sometimes, helps me to accept what happened. Noelle doesn’t lecture me too much about it. She’s a great kid.” He took a long draw and held his breath for an impressive length of time before exhaling. “It was hard watching her try and deal with it. She kept trying to hold it together for me, and I kept on trying to hold it together for her. In the end, we both held each other up. Hayden played a huge part in both our lives.” He took another hit and released it slowly. “Are you interested in her?”
The question caught me completely off guard. I couldn’t gather a response, which, in itself, was a response.
He laughed. “That’s all right. You wouldn’t be the first, believe me. She’s put up a steel barrier around her heart. Noelle’s tougher than most girls, but I know she’s always on her guard. Sometimes, I think she’s worried that I’ll be hurt if she starts seeing someone.”
“That makes sense. And, yes, to your question. I am interested in her, but she’s made it pretty clear that she’s not.”
“Maybe,” he said, and as badly as I wanted to ask him why he thought maybe, I didn’t. “I will tell you one thing though, Seth.” His tone had grown rigid. “She’s not a girl you can just mess around with before moving onto someone else. I’m not saying that’s who you are because I don’t know you well enough, but I’m sure I’m not wrong when I assume you’ve had plenty of ‘mess around’ girls.”
I stared down at the beer in my hand. “You’re not wrong.” I was shocked at how hard it was to admit. I looked up at him. “I know she’s different. To be honest, I’m a little freaked out about the way I already feel about her. This is all going to be on her terms, whether she wants to get to know me or not.”
He laughed unexpectedly. “I imagine for a guy like you this is sort of a slap in the face, eh? I’ll bet most of the time it’s just a wink and a smile from you and the girls are writing their numbers on your palm.”
I shook my head and smiled.
“Ahh, see, I’m right,” he said. “Should have been a damn psychologist. Then this will be good for both of you. You are probably in need of a little reality check when it comes to women and relationships, and Noelle needs a reason to trust her heart again. But you’re going to have to prove to her that you’re more than just a good looking guy. You’re going to have to show her you have value. Otherwise, you might as well give up on her right now.” He lifted the joint. “Excuse the preaching. This shit makes me get all philosophical.” He took another hit off his joint, and I gulped back the beer. We leaned back against the railing we’d just finished sanding and watched a few more boats putter out of the marina. “Mermaids, men with salt water in their veins should probably be out looking for mermaids.”
“I don’t know, I’m kind of leg man.” I took another sip of beer. “I guess I’m a breast man too. Hell, who am I kidding? I love the whole damn female package.”
Greg laughed and raised his beer can for a toast. “Here’s to women, may we always love them and never completely understand them.” We clinked beer cans and drank.
“I like you, Seth. And, trust me, I don’t say that to very many people.”
Chapter 10
Noelle
I was a bundle of nerves and I hated that. At least three times, I’d picked up my phone to call and cancel the plan to go body surfing with Seth, and all three times, I’d stopped myself just short of pushing send. One minute, I was telling myself I was making too big a deal about it because I’d made it clear it was just a day in the water and nothing more. The next minute, I was telling myself that I was a traitor for inviting Seth out in the first place. I’d worked my stomach into a knot about the whole thing. Deep down, I was hoping the day would end with me liking him less. It was stupid and kind of nutty, but I was hoping for a lousy day so I could tell myself once and for all that he wasn’t even worth thinking about.
Seth walked out of his house, and I sucked in a long breath. The guy could light up an already blindingly bright day. He smiled as he walked to my car with his fins and towel. I released the breath I’d been holding.
He dropped his stuff into the backseat and climbed into the car. “Duke’s not going?”
“Now that summer has officially started, he’s not allowed on the sand during busy hours. Greg came by and picked him up. He prefers to hang out at the shop where his pillow and treats are always only a few steps away.” I sniffed the air. “Is that cinnamon?”
His broad shoulders filled the passenger seat as he pulled on his seatbelt. “Yep. Does it bring back nostalgic memories of holiday baking?”
“As a matter of fact it does. I’ve got this sudden urge to go digging through my closet for my Christmas stocking.”
“The house smells like moldy socks or fish or something like that, so I bought a few of those plug-in things.”
“Are they helping?” I pulled out onto the road. He was so easy to talk to that the sharp pains in my stomach had already subsided. But I was still holding out hope for a dull day. It would make this whole thing much easier.
“It’s sort of like not showering for a month and then trying to mask the smell with a splash of cheap aftershave. It still smells like moldy fish. Only now the fish have been sprinkled with cinnamon. I’m glad I’m getting out of there for the day.” He sat back. “And I’m glad you invited me. I wasn’t completely sure where to take the fins.”
“We’re going to a place that has just enough curve in the shore and just the right sand banks to bring in some good sets. It’s a quiet¸ almost cove-like beach. Really pretty. Lots of pelicans hang out there on the cliffs.”
“Sounds cool.”
“How has it been, working with Greg?”
“Fucking love Greg. He is awesome. You’re lucky to have someone like him as a boss.”
I smiled. “Sometimes, it feels like I’m his boss. He’s kind of my laid back, whatever goes employee. But now that the store is going up across the street, he’s taking things a little more seriously. He’s been toying with the idea of selling Maverick’s.”
“He mentioned that to me. I told him he should give it at least a year after that numbskull across the street opens his store. From the little bit of time I spent on the site, I got the distinct feeling that this is all just a rich boy’s hobby, something to do and a way to spend his dad’s money. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. Of course, I could be wrong, and he might surprise us all.”
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br /> I turned the car onto the unpaved plot of land that people had turned into a makeshift parking lot for Hamlet’s Beach. There were more cars than I’d expected. Apparently, word was getting out that it was a nice, quiet stretch of beach. Thanks to social media, it became more popular each year, and soon, it would be a nice but crowded beach.
As Seth and I climbed out of the car, someone yelled my name.
I turned around. Two of Hayden’s surf buddies, Colin and Dylan, were just taking their boards out of a truck. I hadn’t seen them in a long time. They made a point of flashing unfriendly glances at Seth as they walked over. I hugged them both.
“You look good, Elle,” Dylan said. A year after Hayden’s death, Dylan had asked me to go out with him, but I had no interest.
“Colin and Dylan, this is a friend of mine, Seth.”
They shook hands, but it was a cold greeting all around. Colin motioned toward the fins Seth was holding. “New fins, eh?” Colin said it with just enough condescension meant to embarrass Seth, but it didn’t work.
Seth lifted the fins confidently. “Yep. Brand spanking new.”
Colin stared hard at him, then looked at me. “I didn’t think you ever came here anymore, Noelle, since it was always Hayden’s favorite surf spot and all.”
I flinched at first. Then I met his harsh gaze straight on. “Hayden’s favorite surf spot was about thirty miles up the coast. I guess you didn’t know that. Well, it was good seeing you two.”
Seth and I headed down the slight slope to the beach. “Sorry about that,” I said. “They aren’t usually such jerks.”
“I’m thinking that had to do with me. I’m sure they think they’re just being protective over their friend’s memory. I guess we should have made it clear that this wasn’t a date.”
“None of their business anyhow.” I was feeling more than slightly irritated with Hayden’s friends. It was the last thing I needed, people judging my behavior in the wake of his death. I was already having a hard enough time not judging myself.
“But it’s a beautiful day, right?” Seth said, obviously sensing that my mood had darkened.
I forced a smile. “You know what, you’re right. The weather is perfect, and from the looks of those sets out there, it’s a great day for body surfing. Since this part of the beach is sort of cupped in by cliffs, the water stays pretty warm too.”
We dropped our towels in the sand. I tried hard to avert my eyes as Seth pulled off his shirt. He had just enough ink and muscles to make a feeling of warmth drift through me, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. A flurry of confusion flashed through my head. The reaction had been purely physical, but I was still pissed at myself for letting it happen. It shouldn’t be happening. Not a great start to the day, a day that I’d possibly cursed by wishing it to turn out badly.
I slipped off my t-shirt and shorts. While I’d not been able to keep myself from watching him take off his shirt, Seth had no problem ignoring my removal of clothing. Hayden’s dog tags glistened in the sunlight, and I reached up, as I often did, and touched them.
Seth shaded his eyes and looked out at the water. “That raggedy-looking fishing boat out there looks ready to capsize. Hope that old man knows what the heck he’s doing. Looks like he’s out there alone.”
I took hold of my fins. “That’s Pete. He’s been fishing out here since before the pier was built. And that boat has been too. I know Greg has gone out with him a few times mostly because he worries about him going out there alone, especially since his boat gets less stable with each run. But he won’t hang up his gear. He told Greg, the day he hangs up his rods is the day they put him six feet in the ground.”
“It might just be six feet under water the way that thing is tilting to the side. Still, you’ve got to admire the guy’s perseverance.” Seth picked up his fins, and we walked down to the water. A small group of surfers were huddled in a circle, waiting for a decent set. I recognized a few, and I was sure that Dylan and Colin would be joining them. There were a few swimmers near shore, and three kids had started a fairly impressive sand castle at the far end of the beach. Thanks to the offshore wind, the June gloom had cleared early. The sun was already streaming down in long ribbons, creating a stark contrast between the air and water temperatures. I stooped down in some small beach break waves to pull on my fins. Seth followed my lead. He dipped under and came up looking just as good soaking wet.
“Do you miss being underwater? Must be a peaceful place to work, down on the ocean floor, just you and the creatures who lurk down there.”
He struggled to pull on the brand new, non-pliable fins. He grunted as he finally got one on. “Jeez, that was tight. It’s on but I may not be able to get it off. And, to answer your question, I do miss it. But this is a nice alternative.”
“What’s it like working down there?”
With some effort he yanked on the second fin. “Yep, these are permanent. I’ll have to learn to walk like a duck. Most of the time it’s just another work day. My gear and diving suit are just part of my daily uniform, and except for being weightless, I almost forget that I’m underwater.”
We swam closer to where the waves were forming, just past the last significant sand bank. Seth moved his long, strong arms back and forth to tread water. They were incredible arms, the kind of arms perfect for a protective, secure embrace.
“Then there are times when I’m under a lot of water, like at the bottom of bridge pylons or the hull of a barge, and the only light available is the glow on my helmet and the flicker of my torch. It feels like I’ve landed on a weird, dark planet where I’m the only life form. It can be cool, but it can screw with your mind if you let it.”
“I’ll bet. As much time as I spend in the water, I prefer to be up here in the daylight rather than under the surface. I’ve taken bad spills off my board a few times where I’ve gotten wedged right under the breaking crest. The water forces you down against the sand, and suddenly, you’re a piece of laundry caught in the spin cycle. There are those horrid few seconds when you think this is it, the wave is going to take me away for good. The thought of dying down there at the bottom of the sea always sounds extra horrifying to me.” The topic, those vivid memories of thinking I was going to drown, had brought me back to something that constantly haunted me. My throat tightened, and I clamped my mouth shut.
Seth had blue eyes that could coax every emotion out of me, even without any extra effort on his part. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s nothing. Thinking about those near death experiences always triggers my thoughts about Hayden’s death. The army said the helicopter tail had been shot off and the copter spun wildly out of control before crashing into the side of the mountain.” I was immersed in water, but my throat was as dry as if I was standing in the desert. “I just hope it wasn’t long, the stretch of time between the terrifying realization that he was going to die and death. I hope he didn’t have to think about it long.” I shivered at the thought of it. It was something that had occasionally woken me from a deep sleep, covered in sweat and gasping for air, as if I’d been experiencing the fear right along with him.
Seth didn’t say anything. He just watched me with those extraordinary blue eyes and waited for my cue that the moment had passed.
My chin trembled from the coldness on my skin and in my chest. “I need to get moving. The water is colder than I expected.” I swam in no particular direction. I just wanted to get away from the dark thoughts and back to the day, the non-date day, with Seth.
Feeling a little flustered about how I’d let myself sink into a grim mood, I took off on the first good wave. The majestic force of the ocean lifted me up, and I fluttered my fins back and forth as I veered right across the face. The wave carried me toward the shore. The rush of it had wiped away some of the murkiness in my head. The more time passed, the easier it was to get past the bleak moments.
I turned around and headed back toward Seth. He took off on a perfect wave and shot
along the face with the skills of a pro. I probably should have expected it. He didn’t really look like the kind of guy who would be lame at anything. I ducked under the next set of waves and swam back out.
Dylan and Colin had joined the other surfers, and the group had coasted closer to us. Pete’s boat had floated nearer too, not quite close enough to be carried to shore, but I could see him clearly as he stood staring down into the engine compartment. The poor guy was constantly tinkering with the thing. The engine wasn’t running, but I figured that was on purpose.
Seth swam back out to me, a white grin splashed across his face.
“And you told me not to laugh at your form. You’re full of shit. You just took that wave like someone who’s out here every day practicing.”
He shook his head and water sprayed off his hair. “I guess it’s like riding a bike.”
“Did you spend a lot of time at the beach as a kid?” I was feeling warmer and considerably better than I had a few minutes before.
“Nope. I grew up in Nevada. Spent a lot of time on dirt bikes but not a lot of time on water. We used to wakeboard in local lakes, but I rarely got out to the beach. I think that’s why I chose the navy. I knew I’d be near the ocean no matter where I was stationed. Just always liked the coast.”
We rose up and fell with the water as the next small set of waves rolled past us toward the shore. Seth swam up next to me.
“I’d meant to ask you, although this is probably not the place to bring it up—”
“Have I ever met up with a shark on the job?” He finished the question for me. “Twice. One time, I was welding an underwater pipe. It was in fairly shallow water, so there was some natural light over my work area. Then, suddenly, the light was gone. Seconds later, it came back. I shrugged it off as clouds moving in the sky overhead. But then the shadow fell over me again. I glanced up and was looking at the underbelly of a great white. Must have been eight feet long. I shut down my torch and stayed perfectly still hoping he was more interested in the nearby school of fish. They don’t really like the way we taste. That’s why a lot of people suffer one big bite before the shark swims off in disgust.”