“Do you mind not remembering?” He asked, unable to resist pulling her gently into his arms, and holding her against his chest.
He felt her shake her head against his shirt. “It’s still early.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I’m sure I’ll remember soon enough.”
He looked away, certain now that he didn’t want her to. “Perhaps. At least you have most of the important stuff,” he said reassuringly.
“It’s just so strange that I wouldn’t remember anything about us,” she grumbled. “You’re the love of my life and I don’t remember anything about how we got here.”
“But you remember that I’m the love of your life.” He said with a small smile. “That’s the important detail.”
“I don’t think a thousand head blows would allow me to forget that fact.” She said confidently. “I’m going to give Georgie a call later. I emailed her from hospital but I think speaking to her will bring a lot back.”
Zayn stiffened imperceptibly. “You can’t, Julia. You know what the doctors said. You mustn’t rush it. Pushing too hard for answers may have the opposite effect.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “Easy for you to say. You know everything.”
He laughed. “Perhaps not everything.”
“Most things, then,” she conceded with a teasing grin.
She was so close, and her body so pliant against his, that he felt the familiar stirring of need in his gut. Julia lifted her hand to his belt buckle, and she hooked her finger inside the clasp, so that she was so close to his manhood.
“Julia,” he hissed from between his teeth.
Her expression was sultry when she lifted her face to his. “Yes, Zayn?”
He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he wanted. He had known he couldn’t sleep with her when it was all about the money he’d paid her father. The mercenary act of making love was definitely a turn off for him. But this was different. Julia now had no recollection of their marriage deal. She wanted him because she desired him.
It was a game changer. Or it should have been, at least.
There was a deeper moral concern for Zayn; that she only wanted him because she believed their marriage to be genuine. Was it wrong to be with her under those conditions?
Sensual challenge was in every feature of her face. Her eyes glowed with a sheen of need that took his breath away.
Zayn took in a deep breath, thinking he must be some kind of idiot. “We can’t. It’s too soon after your accident.”
Julia lifted her brows, and pulled sharply at his belt so that it came away from his pants. “Did the doctor say that?” She asked challengingly, as she slowly slid the zipper of his pants down.
Zayn was very still, capable only of watching as the woman he’d blackmailed into marriage flicked open his pants and pressed her hand against his erection. As her fingers slid inside his underwear and made contact with his warm flesh, and Zayn stifled an oath. Julia’s eyes flew to his.
“I want you, Zayn. You’re my husband, and I need to be with you.”
Zayn wanted her more than he’d known it was possible to want a woman, but still, he held onto his resolve. “I don’t want to complicate things for you, Julia. Your injury was a bad one, and you should be resting.”
She wrapped her fingers around him, stroking with her thumb, and her eyes locked with his. “I don’t know why, but I know this is important. I need to be with you, Zayn. Please.”
“Come with me,” and he laced his fingers through hers and pulled her towards his bedroom. Zayn ignored the stiff feeling of compunction that assuaged him.
Julia paused on the threshold to his room, and for the briefest of moments, he saw a frown cross her face.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, great.” She lifted her eyes to his. “It’s just… I thought our bedroom at least would bring back some memories.”
Except they’d never shared this room. She hadn’t so much as stepped foot in it before.
“Let’s not worry about old memories for now,” he said quietly.
The playful smile was back on her face. “You’re right. We should just concentrate on making new ones.” Julia bit down on her lower lip again and let out a small laugh. “Only…It’s the strangest thing. I mean, you’re my husband, for goodness sake. But I actually feel nervous. Like this is our first time or something.”
“We don’t have to do this, Julia.” He kissed the tip of her nose gently. “We have the rest of our lives. Why don’t we wait a few days, at least, until you’re feeling more like yourself?”
“No.” She shook her head from side to side. “Make love to me now, Zayn, or I might just divorce you.”
He wanted her with a force so strong it made his whole body ache and burn. Without missing a beat, he lifted her long shirt over her head and discarded it across the room, exposing just her beautiful breasts encased in a silky black bra. They were the perfect size for his hands, small but round, and so soft, like her whole body. He slipped the bra off with ease and let it drop from his fingertip onto the floor.
Julia sucked in a deep breath as he brought his mouth down and tasted her nipple, flicking the sensitive aureole with his tongue; with his fingers, he massaged the other tip, until she was shivering against his body.
“I feel…” she said and then paused, searching for the word. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “Just… I feel…wow.”
Zayn’s smile against her breast was one of triumph. He dug his hands into the waistband of her pants and let his fingers run across the bare skin of her arse. So perfect; so smooth. Impatiently, he unbuttoned the pants and removed them quickly. He was impatient now. They’d have plenty of time to explore each other’s bodies. What he needed now was to bury himself deep inside her and slake his need with the only woman he’d ever craved like this.
He disposed of his own clothes efficiently, and finally, after years of waiting, he brought her naked body against his, simply savoring the feeling of her warm skin against his own. Their heart beats raced in unison as the moment of truth approached.
He moved his hands to sacred skin at her core and held his palm there, feeling the tiny beat of her pulse against his hand. “Are you sure you feel okay?” He asked earnestly. “I want you, but I can wait until you are feeling like yourself.”
“No. I don’t know how I know it, but I know that making love to you now is important. Crucial.”
He narrowed his eyes, hoping her mind didn’t know more than he did. After all, if making love was the act that brought her memory back, his plan would back fire. He needed more time with this version of Julia before she remembered that he’d tricked her into the whole marriage.
“I’m relieved to hear it,” he said with a slow smile that made her insides buckle.
She glanced across at the bed. Enormous and comfortable in the center of the room, but Zayn had other ideas. He scooped her up easily – she was, after all, almost half his height, and kissed her hard on her lips. Instinctively, Julia wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs she hooked at the ankles behind his back, so that she was secured against his torso. Gently, Zayn eased her downwards, at the same time as backing her into the wall of his bedroom.
As soon as his tip rubbed against her entrance, he felt his control waning. He had dreamed about this moment for time immemorial, since he’d first met her. Only the greatest will power in the world had kept him from claiming her before this.
With his lips still plundering her mouth, he continued to lower her slowly, so that bit by bit, they joined together in the most intimate manner. Julia’s face was flushed as he gradually took possession of her.
Then, unmistakably, he encountered a barrier. It was swiftly removed, but it had been there. He would have bet his life, and his brother’s, on the fact that he had just taken Julia’s virginity. He swore, his eyes laced with confusion and accusation, as he looked into her face. Her own expression mirrored his – confusion, anger, fear, and pain.
He pushed aside his own uncertainty and reclaimed her breast in his mouth. He breathed warm breath against her skin at the same time his tongue chilled and tortured her. And now, barrier removed, he allowed his entire length to be absorbed by her.
Her moan of pleasure was enough. He moved slowly, gently, careful not to hurt her untested muscles, but, as her pleasure intensified he felt his ability to go slowly evaporate completely. Julia dug her fingernails into the flesh of his shoulders as she tipped over the edge of the chasm, into the deep ravine of fulfillment, and Zayn spilled into her all of his pent up need and hunger for this woman.
As their breathing returned to normal, his mind regained its sanity, and he unleashed a tirade of curses in his mind. She had still been a virgin? He had photos to the contrary. He thought of the images she’d sent him years earlier. He’d been incensed by them, and he’d jumped to the conclusion that they were taken after a passionate encounter. But perhaps they weren’t.
He frowned against her shoulder, still moist with beads of perspiration from the afternoon heat and their pleasurable activities.
“I don’t get it,” she said slowly, but her hands were still running up and down his back.
Gently, he eased her to the floor, but he kept her trapped in the apex of his legs, hard against the wall.
“We are just married,” he said honestly. “Your accident happened only one day after we arrived in Naman.”
“But I can’t believe we didn’t…”
“We both wanted to wait until we were married,” he explained quickly. “But I always assumed you’d had other lovers.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Apparently not.”
“It just doesn’t seem possible,” he said, lancing her with his inquisitive gaze.
Out of nowhere, a memory came to her and she grabbed onto it with both hands. “I used to joke that you’d ruined me for other men.” She smiled up at him. “I remember having dinner with Georgie and someone asked me out. I don’t remember who. I can’t even picture their face.” She waved a hand in the air. “That doesn’t matter. Anyway, I was busy at university, or that’s what I said. But Georgie knew better. She knew that I couldn’t be with anyone else after meeting you.”
Zayn felt his heart contract painfully in his chest. He would say she was lying, except that she had no reason to. She believed that they were in love, so why would she make up untruths about her feelings?
Remorse flooded his body, as he thought about the lie he was perpetuating now. And fear joined it, because he could imagine her rage when she remembered the truth. Which surely she would, eventually.
“But surely I told you?” She said quietly, and something like doubt clouded her eyes in a way that made him feel like the worst kind of bastard.
“Does this look like the face of a man who knew he’d married a virgin?”
She shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I kept it from you. Do you mind?”
“Mind?” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her roughly against his chest. “You would be perfect to me if you’d slept with no men or many. Of course, I wouldn’t be a red-blooded male if I didn’t tell you that it’s a total turn-on to know only I have possessed you.”
“Possessed me?” A shiver ran down her spine as she felt another memory dance in front of her eyes. She tried to catch it, but it was elusive, like dust mites in a sunray.
“Just an expression,” he said quickly, and then he scooped her up and carried her to his bed. Reverently, he lay her down in the center, and a strange sense of honor infiltrated him at the sight of her there. His wife. His. For now, and forever.
“How do you feel?” He asked earnestly as he sat beside her and ran his fingers lightly over her smooth thigh.
“Honestly?”
He nodded. “Always.”
“Wonderful and exhausted.” She blinked up at him. The sun was streaming in through his bedroom window and he reluctantly left her side simply so that he could draw the blinds and immerse them into a darker state.
He lay down in bed and pulled her against his naked torso. “Shut your eyes. Sleep in my arms, habibte.”
And as she drifted off into a dark, strangely hollow dream, her last waking thought was that she never wanted to be anywhere but in Zayn’s arms.
CHAPTER NINE
“Another perfect day,” Julia said with a grin as she padded barefoot out onto the enormous terrace that led to the infinity pool.
“Hard to believe you found the heat so stifling when you first arrived,” he teased gently, opening his arms for his wife to walk into. She did so automatically. In the week since the accident, she’d remembered hardly anything. But day by day, she’d realized how happy she must have been. Zayn was every bit the husband she’d hoped he would be. Even more of a partner than when they’d first dated. Their chemistry was sensational. Their common interests were varied, but their sexual need was truly earth shattering. She couldn’t believe they’d been able to wait until they were married. She just had to look at him to feel a swirling ocean of desire turn her core slick and moist with heat.
Her pretty face looked bemused. “I did grow up in England, you know. At best, our Summer days would be like a Namani winter.”
Of their own volition, his fingers crept inside the skimpy lycra bathing suit she was wearing, and pressed against her most private core.
“Zayn,” she whispered, scanning the palatial home for the usual army of servants.
His chuckle was low, and set her pulse skittering. “I have significantly reduced my workforce. Most personnel are now stationed on the property exterior. We are quite alone.”
Her smile was dazzling. “In that case, why don’t you join me for a swim.”
His eyes flared with pleasure. “On one condition.”
She pressed a finger to her lips in a deliberately provocative pose. “Name it.”
“Let’s discard these silly swimmers you insist on wearing.” He pulled at the ribbons that held her bikini bottoms in place and Julia squealed as they dropped straight down her legs.
“Zayn!” The effect of her protest was undermined by the giggle she couldn’t contain.
“Turn around.” His voice was like a command, and she felt a small memory try to push through her fogged brain, but it disappeared again almost instantly. She did as he said, and he reached up and tugged at the bikini strings, so that her breasts were freed.
“Much better,” he said, spinning her within the circle of his arms so he could appreciate her naked form more fully. “You are perfect,” he said on a groan.
“As are you,” she said with an appreciative smile. “I trust I’m not the only one going skinny dipping?”
His lips curled into a slow smile. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“Then allow me to undress you,” she challenged with a small smile.
His face was blank as he watched her unbutton his shirt. She worked so slowly that he wanted to pull the garment off, even if it tore it in two. But he waited, because there was something incredibly sexy about watching his wife removing his clothes. Her fingers were shaking a little as bit by bit she removed the shirt and tossed it onto the tiled deck.
She ran her hands across his shoulders, and down his arms, then nipped them in to the top of his jeans. “What happened here?” She lowered her lips and pressed them against the puckered scar just above his left nipple.
Zayn sucked in an uneven breath.
“Or have you already told me and I’ve simply forgotten?”
Zayn closed his eyes against the burgeoning need that was making speech suddenly difficult. “When we were boys, Amal and I got into a fight. We used to quarrel often, but this was different for the simple fact that it involved knives.”
Julia’s mouth gaped open. “You and your brother were in a knife fight?”
His laugh was rich with amusement. “Believe it or not, it was all in fun. We’d watched a movie and thought we’d replicate a scene for ourselves
. He was a better mark with the blade than I.”
“Oh dear. Poor Amal. Your parents must have been furious.”
“Yes.” He shrugged. “Though my mother has always held the attitude that boys will be boys, and we were excellent at proving her right.”
An image of Amal floated into her mind and a memory with it. Julia frowned. “Your brother doesn’t want to become King.” She didn’t know how she knew, but it was a fact lodged somewhere in the spongy recesses of her malfunctioning brain.
Did she imagine the way her husband seemed to tense?
“Why do you say that?”
Julia stared down at the tiled floor beneath their feet, lost in thought. “His wife… Adele?”
“Adina,” Zayn supplied automatically.
“Yes. Adina. And I liked her.” She frowned. “It is the strangest thing. I have no specific memories, but just a sense of things. I am certain she told me that Amal wants you to take his place.”
Zayn chose his words cautiously. “We have discussed the possibility in the past.”
There was something more important at the center of her knowledge but she couldn’t remember for the life of her. She groaned in annoyance. “It’s right there,” she said, stamping her foot. “I know there’s big stuff missing and I can’t get to it. It’s like clouds in the sky, just blowing out of my line of sight.”
“It will probably come back.”
“What aren’t you telling me?” She looked stricken, and suddenly, her nakedness made her feel inexplicably self-conscious.
“I have told you many times. The doctors made me promise not to give you all the answers. It could do more harm than good.”
She grabbed hold of his shoulder with her hand, and stared up at him beseechingly. “But Zayn, you wouldn’t lie to me, would you? If there was something important that I hadn’t remembered, I mean.”
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