by Erin Noelle
“Don’t you dare say that.” I can no longer stay silent with that comment. “You didn’t die, because it wasn’t your time yet. The cowardly thing to do would be to end your own life and not accept the time you’ve been given here.”
She smiles a small, exhausted smile. “I know that, but sometimes I just feel like this broken person inside, no matter how put together my life is on the outside . . . like it’s never gonna get any better.”
“I completely understand, baby. Believe me . . . I really do.” I rest my forehead against hers, the tips of our noses touching.
Amidst the torrential downpour and whipping winds outside, we stay like that for several minutes, our eyes doing all the talking as we breathe together as one, in our own little safe cocoon. Then, as if we can read each other’s thoughts, we both move to the top of the bed and lie back down with our heads on the pillows. Her back to my chest, I snuggle her in as close as physically possible, weaving our legs together as I nestle my face in her neck. I want her to feel safe.
“Davis?” she murmurs softly.
“Yes, babe.”
“Do you think we’re gonna die?”
“Eventually, but not on this trip.” I kiss her shoulder softly. “This trip is about us learning how to live again, not how to die.”
She sighs contently. “Davis?”
“Yes, babe.”
“I’m really glad you’re here. I wouldn’t want to learn how to live again with anyone else.”
“Me too, babe. Me too,” I answer. And I really mean it.
NEVER IN MY LIFE have I been so happy to be woken up by the bright morning sun shining through the window directly into my eyes. Davis’ body is still wrapped protectively around me, and though I don’t want to wake him up, I want to take a look around outside. I attempt to stealthily slide out from underneath him, but he growls and yanks me back against him.
“Where you going?” he grumbles, burying his face in my hair.
I twist around in his arms to take in what a sleepy Davis face looks like. I’ve never spent the night with a guy before, seeing as I’m usually a moment away from a mental breakdown. But today, today I feel different . . . lighter. Running my fingers across his morning stubble, I lightly brush my lips against his. “I wanted to look around outside. The sun’s out, and I can’t hear the rain and wind anymore.”
He slowly opens his eyes, a concerned look etched across his face. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nod, smiling sheepishly at him. “I feel better than I have since I can remember. Thank you for listening last night. I’m sorry I broke down on you like that. When I woke up to the sound of the rain and wind, I just lost it.”
Shaking his head, he places his finger over my mouth to shush me. “No need for apologies. If anything I did helped you feel better, I’m happy to have done it.”
“Just being here was enough.” I kiss his finger. “As much as I didn’t want to talk about it, I think it’s what I really needed. I truly do feel great this morning, especially since we’re still alive and all. Maybe you should try it some time? I’m here to listen, if you need me.”
He withdraws his hand and closes his eyes, rolling over and off the bed without a response. “Let’s get dressed and take a look. I’m sure the others are up too.” And just like that, the walls go back up.
Internally reprimanding myself for pushing him, I follow his lead off the bed and put my bathing suit back on. “I need to go back to my place to get some clothes and shoes. I think we left my others outside yesterday,” I say, mainly to myself, because he’s already dressed and in the bathroom brushing his teeth.
“Wait,” he calls out once he rinses his mouth. “You aren’t going outside without me.”
Relief washes over me as I stand by the door waiting for him. At least he still cares not to let me wander off by myself. He walks up behind me and loops his arms around my waist, kissing the top of my head, and I melt into his touch. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’m just not ready to go there.”
“I’m sorry too. I just want you to know if you ever are, I’m here.”
“I know, Bristol. And thank you.”
Together, we make our way outside on the porch into the early morning light, our eyes roaming our surroundings. The two rocking chairs and small patio table are all on their sides, having blown into a pile on top of each other in the corner of the deck, while the hammock—still connected by its hooks—is a twisted, knotted mess. Water spills over the plunge pool due to the excess rainfall, but falls through the cracks to the ground below.
We cross the wet wooden surface slowly, then down the small set of stairs to the ground for a better view of the resort. Surprisingly, other than several tree branches scattered about, there is no visible external damage to any of the nearby cottages, and the road, though muddy, has drained completely.
“Wow,” I murmur, stepping off the bottom step, “this is incredible. After how bad it sounded last night, I thought for sure there would be a lot more damage.”
“Hold on,” Davis, who is a few steps in front of me, calls out. He hurries back to me and bends down. “Here, get on my back. I don’t want you walking around barefoot. It looks okay, but better to be safe.”
I hop on for a piggyback ride over to my place, where we confirm there’s not any structural damage to it either. The porch looks similar to his, with all of the furniture blown around and the overflowing pool, but other than that, you’d never know anything had happened—roof, windows, and glass door intact.
Once we’re safely inside, he lowers me to the floor, swatting my ass as I scurry over to my suitcase to grab something to change into. Rummaging through my clothes, I pull out another bathing suit, a pair of shorts, and a black tank top, and then move towards the bathroom to put them on.
Minutes later, I emerge after a quick washcloth scrub down, teeth brushing, armpit shave, and deodorant application, dressed and ready to go exploring the rest of the grounds, only to find Davis staring somberly out the window.
“Everything okay?” I loop my arms around his waist from behind, causing him to startle with surprise. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. You were pretty deep in thought there. You sure you’re okay? I’m sorry again if I scared you with my overreaction and all the tears,” I apologize, rambling. “I know you probably didn’t want to hear—”
He abruptly clutches my hands and swings me around to the front of him, cutting me off midsentence. Cradling my chin in his hand, he gazes down at me, his eyes full of empathy. “I told you I was happy to be there for you, and I meant it. You don’t need to apologize again.” Softly kissing my mouth, one corner of his lips curls up in a smirk. “And you should know by now I’m just a moody bastard.”
On our way to the main house, we find Ashleigh and Charlotte heading down the road towards us, who both engulf me in a big hug once they get their hands on me.
“Are you okay? We were so concerned about you, but Isaac wouldn’t let us get out in the storm to come find you,” Charlotte says, kissing my cheek in a motherly way.
Ashleigh has a hold of my hand and is inspecting me from head to toe, as Davis has taken a few steps back from the three of us, allowing them to make sure I’m okay.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” I assure them. “From the looks of things out here, it wasn’t all that bad, despite the way it sounded. And thankfully, Davis,” I turn to smile at him, “was there to help me through my minor breakdown during the worst of it.”
They both thank him repeatedly as he rejoins our group, and I think Charlotte may have even worked in a little hug. The small smile playing on his face isn’t lost on me as the four of us continue the trek down the short path to where the majority of our group has already gathered, standing inside the main lobby discussing the storm.
“Oh good, there you all are,” Isaac bellows as we walk through the door. “How did everyone hold up overnight?” He sidles up next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “All go well?” The conversation is aske
d to all of us, but truly directed at me.
“Yep,” I boast cheerfully, “I feel even better than I did beforehand. Experiencing that was something I really needed.”
He nods as if it was exactly the answer he expected. “I’m glad to hear that. Now, today we need to help out with a little clean-up around the resort and on the beach, and everything should be back to normal tomorrow. We got lucky that it turned more north than they originally projected, and we only got the bottom side of the storm.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Charlotte chimes in. “Are we having breakfast here first, or should we grab a bite from the food they delivered yesterday before we start?”
“Let me go see if the dining room is ready to be opened,” he replies. “I’ll be right back.”
Not two seconds after he walks away, a loud, booming male voice travels across the room as the door flies open. “Bristol, where are you?!”
Kayden stalks inside, his eyes roaming the room until they land on me. “Oh, thank God,” he rushes over to where I stand with Davis, Charlotte, and Ashleigh, gathering me into his arms, ignoring everyone else. “I went to your room and you weren’t there. I’ve been worried sick about you,” he says gruffly, lowering me back to the ground. “That must have scared the shit out of you.”
I take a step back from him, not wanting Davis to feel uncomfortable or threatened in any way after our previous discussions. Smiling politely up at Kayden, I grab Davis’ hand and lace my fingers between his. “I stayed in his cottage, and yes, it did terrify me, but he,” I shift my focus and grin up towards Davis, “provided the perfect support.”
Kayden does nothing to hide his disapproval of Davis, his glare full of annoyance and irritation. “You should’ve been with someone who knows you and your history,” he snarls, “like Charlotte or Ashleigh . . . or me. Someone who will care about you and be there for you when you’re back home and needing reassurance and encouragement.”
Davis pushes in front of me, his chest puffing out as if he’s just been challenged to a duel. “You don’t fucking know me or my story. Who the hell are you to judge?” he spats.
“When you go home in a week, she’ll never hear from you again, and when she wakes up because the nightmares won’t allow her to sleep, or because she feels guilty for having a fun night out with her friends, guess who will be there for her? We will, just like we’ve been for the past two years.”
“What are you trying to say?” Davis’ voice begins to elevate along with his anger. “You think I don’t care about Bristol, just because I haven’t known her as long as you have? You’ve got no fucking clue what you’re talking about, man.”
I glance over at Charlotte and Ashleigh for help with the escalating situation, but they’re both too busy watching the tennis match of words between the two guys to look at me. Thankfully, however, no one else around seems to be paying any attention as Kayden steps closer to him. “I’m not trying to say anything, man,” Kayden grits through his teeth. “Truth is you only care about getting one thing from her, just like all punk-ass kids your age, and the only thing you want to help her with is getting her panties down around her ankles.”
And . . . I’ve had enough.
I jump in front of Davis, wedging myself between the two men, now pissed-off myself. “That’s enough, Kayden.” I glower. “I’m a big girl and know exactly what I’m doing. I appreciate your concern and the fact you’ve been there for me, but I’m here to experience new things, make new friends, and have some fun, which is exactly what I’m doing. There’s no reason for you to get your panties in a wad, nor do you need to worry about where mine are.”
“Good news, everyone!” Isaac exclaims, walking back over to our now-heated group. “The dining room is opening now, and the internet should be back up within the hour. Wait,” he stops and looks around at all of us with crinkled brows, apparently picking up on the tension, “is everything okay here? Any issue I need to help resolve?”
On cue, we all force a fake smile and shake our heads, murmuring a collective ‘no’. Gratefully, Charlotte steps towards him. “We were all discussing the storm last night, and how we’re blessed it wasn’t any worse than it was. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me and Ashleigh?” She links her arm through his elbow, tips her head at Ash, and leads them towards the tables, away from the three of us.
I return my attention to Kayden as I reach behind me for Davis’ hand. “Are we good?”
He drops his chin and runs his fingers through his dark blonde hair. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” Kayden mutters lowly. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you like that. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I care about you and want the best for ya.”
“And?” I prod, standing my ground. His behavior was completely uncalled for, and he better make it right on all accounts. The Kayden I know and love will.
“I apologize to you too,” he says, lifting his eyes to meet Davis’, who slides his arms around my waist, pressing his front to my back. “It’s none of my business and I, of all people, shouldn’t judge anyone else. Thank you for taking care of her last night.”
I hold my breath, hoping and praying Davis accepts the apology and moves on. I don’t want to deal with this again.
“Yeah, no problem, man. It’s cool.” I exhale a huge sigh of relief, leaning my head back on his chest.
“One more thing,” Kayden adds before walking away. “Once everything calms down around here today, I’d like for all of us, Ashleigh and Charlotte too, to go on an excursion together or something . . . just spend a day of fun with friends, if you are both good with that?”
I tilt my head up and back to peer at Davis’ face, gauging his reaction to the idea. He smiles down at me, giving me a quick kiss, and then looks back at Kayden. “Yeah, that sounds good. I wanted to take her to the Pitons, so maybe we can all do that together.”
“Perfect. I’ll set it up.”
Kayden smiles and waves as he makes his way towards Isaac and the others, leaving Davis and me alone. Spinning around in his arms, I loop mine around his neck and rise up on my tiptoes to bring my lips to his. “Thank you, and I’m sorry,” I whisper against his mouth.
“Anything for you, Trouble.” Then he kisses me hard, claiming my mouth and a small piece of my heart.
AFTER EMAILING GRANNY and Alyvia, letting them both know all is okay and I’m doing fine, we spend most of the day cleaning up small branches strewn about and helping the Ti Kaye staff re-set up everything they’d packed away for the storm. Needless to say, once everything is finished, I’m completely and utterly physically exhausted. However, over an earlier-than-normal dinner, I detect a different, lighter even, atmosphere amongst our group as a whole. Even though we all arrived as ‘survivors’, after the storm and working together all day towards a common goal, a new sense of camaraderie has settled over us, and it fills me with happiness.
Most everyone, including Davis and me, excuses themselves shortly after eating, promising thoughts of a shower and bed at the top of the list following the day of manual labor. We trudge—well, I trudge, while he walks just fine—down the already-dried up dirt road towards our cottages. Once again, I find myself questioning, overthinking, what to expect from him tonight. We had developed a routine before the storm of alternating places after dinner, then the other returning to their own place to sleep, but last night, we stayed together all night. Since there isn’t a storm tonight, do I assume we revert back to the way it was? Ughhh.
We arrive at his place first, and thankfully, he answers some of my unspoken questions. “Let me run in and get some clean clothes, then we can shower at your place. ‘Kay?”
“Yeah, that’s good,” I reply as I stop walking and wait for him to return, feeling stupid for even worrying about this stuff. Fun, Bristol. It’s all supposed to be fun, remember?
He reappears as I’m internally chastising myself, with a change of clothes in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Grinning, he lifts the bottle up in the air.
“Thought we could put this to good use after today. Do you want me to grab any of the food too?”
“No, I’m stuffed, but the wine should be perfect after the shower.”
“I thought so too.” He bounces down the steps to the ground next to me. “Come on, let’s go clean up so we can relax.”
Once we’re inside, neither of us wastes any time stripping off our grungy clothes and making a beeline for the open-air shower connected to my cottage. The area truly is my idea of paradise—rock wall surroundings, colorful flowers and plants lining the perimeter, and a forceful rain showerhead to stand under. Davis turns the knob to full force, testing the temperature of the water with his foot, and once it’s to his liking, he grabs my hand and pulls me under the spray with him.
The warm water feels no less than amazing as it beats down on the top of my head, immediately rejuvenating me as it washes away the dirt and mud caked on various parts of my body. Moaning with delight, I close my eyes, lift my arms, and twirl under the spray, nearly forgetting Davis is even there with me.
“Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are when you do that?” he growls lowly in my ear from behind, grabbing my hips and poking me in the back with his erection. “Are you trying to kill me?”
I laugh wickedly, throwing my head back on his chest, but keeping my eyes closed. “From the feel of things, you aren’t dead at all.” I reach between our bodies, wrap my hand around his steeled cock, and stroke it a few times, causing him to gasp. “Nope, you’re very much alive, Mr. McKay.”
“You know, I really like that funny mouth of yours,” his hands slither around to my front, up my belly until he’s palming both of my breasts, causing me to tighten my hold on him, “but there’s other things you do with it I like even more.”
He begins to kiss and nibble a trail down the back of my neck and across my shoulder as he finds my nipples between his thumb and forefinger, rolling and lightly pinching. My hand develops a steady rhythm pumping his rod, matching the accelerated pounding of my heart beating in my chest. All the while, the shower continues to rain down on us, somehow intensifying the passion of the moment.