“How are you feeling?” Vera asked me.
“Shh, no questions until after she’s eaten,” Adam admonished. “Anyway, it’s almost time to get on that call, and we’re not quite ready.” He gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, I just really want to make sure we nail this, in spite of the circumstances.” I heard the slight pause before he said those last words, and I felt a surge of guilt go through me.
I pushed myself to my feet. “Why don’t I go into the other room so that I’m not a distraction,” I said.
“Mindy, you don’t have to,” Adam started to say, but Vera interrupted.
“Not to be a bitch, but honestly I think that’s probably for the best,” she said, giving me a sad look. “You’re on medical leave for the near future. You should be resting so that you can come back stronger.”
I nodded and started toward the other room. Adam joined me a moment later, helping me along. “I’m sorry,” he said in an undertone, so that the others wouldn’t hear. “I just have missed enough work lately with the whole Kelly thing. I thought you might sleep longer, too.”
“It’s fine,” I sighed as I sat down on the couch, trying not to feel as though I was in exile. Adam gave me a doubtful look, like he knew that it was far from fine, but before he could say anything else, Wendell had called a question about the design from the other room and Adam was scurrying back to answer him.
I picked at my breakfast. It had seemed so appetizing mere minutes ago, but now the only thing that I could think about was how I should be in there helping them. I wanted this job. Vera was sure to get the position with the company instead of me. Between the pregnancy and this, I wasn’t pulling my weight. I was just making things difficult on everyone else.
I could feel tears prick the corners of my eyes. Stupid hormones. I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. The last thing I needed was for one of them to walk in from the kitchen and see me bawling on the sofa. I wondered what Adam had told them about why I was staying here at my boss’s house rather than somewhere else that might make a little more sense.
Then, I wondered if he had had to say anything at all. Vera must know that I was pregnant, and for all I knew, Wendell might as well. I sighed. I didn’t want to think about that right now. I didn’t want to think about any of it right now.
Instead, I grabbed my phone off the coffee table where Adam had plugged it in to charge the day before, before my long sleep. I checked my messages and sent Risa one to let her know I was doing okay. Then, with one final, longing glance toward the kitchen, I opened a reader app and started reading. Books had always been an escape, and I needed that more than ever right now.
Adam came out to see me midway through. “How are you doing?” he asked, sitting on the edge of the couch by my feet and hesitating for only a moment before resting a hand on my leg. I was surprised at how much my body reacted to just that simple touch, even through the blanket.
I smiled shyly at him. “I’m alright,” I said. “Still a little bit in pain, but not as bad as yesterday.”
“Good,” Adam said, nodding. “Can I get you anything?”
“Coffee?” I asked, realizing what my morning was missing.
Adam shook his head, though. “The doctor said caffeine isn’t great for the baby,” he said in a low voice. “I can get you some ginger ale, though. Or water? Orange juice?”
I gave him a look. There was a part of me that wanted to rebel against him telling me what to do. It was just like when he had decided that I was coming home with him rather than going home with Risa. He seemed to think that he was the one in control here, that he could make all of my decisions for me.
I knew as soon as the thought went through my head, though, that he was just looking out for the baby. And for me. It was his right, too, since it was his baby.
So I gave him a smile. “I think just water for now, please,” I said.
“Coming right up,” Adam said, smiling as he got to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen. It was Wendell who brought me the water, along with a plate of fruit.
“Glad to hear you’re okay,” he said as he set them down. Neither of us seemed to know what to say after that, but he disappeared back into the kitchen to get back to work.
Fortunately, their meeting didn’t last very long, and it wasn’t more than an hour after that before they were all spilling out of the kitchen. Vera came over and gave me a quick hug. “See you soon,” she promised me, giving me a little wink. No doubt she knew just how much catching up we had to do.
Wendell came over to say goodbye as well, holding out a small slip of paper to me. “Those are all my phone numbers, in case you need anything,” he said.
I blinked in surprise. I barely knew Wendell, and he was Adam’s assistant. It felt surprisingly good to know that I had him on my side. I couldn’t imagine a time when I would need his help over what Adam was offering, but then again, as good of friends as I had in Risa and Vera, neither of them knew Adam the way that Wendell did.
Maybe it would be helpful to have a friend who knew what made Adam tick.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, hoping he could tell how much I appreciated the gesture.
Wendell smiled as he nodded and then slipped out of there.
I looked back toward the kitchen. Adam hadn’t come out with the others. I could hear him puttering around in there, and I was starting to wonder if I should go and see what he was up to. If he was still working, I didn’t want to bother him. I knew that I was already enough of an imposition on him. I didn’t want to bother him while he was working, especially not after what he had said earlier about being behind on his work because of the whole Kelly thing.
On the other hand, was he just in the kitchen as a means of hiding from me? Was he just trying to postpone the talk we needed to have? I didn’t want to put it off any longer; I wanted to know what he was thinking. More than that, I wanted him to know what I was thinking.
Was he going to be involved in this pregnancy in any way? Involved in the life of our child? What about my internship? I still hadn’t found another job beyond my position at Designed by You, and given the accident and my injuries, I wasn’t sure how easy it was going to be to do that now.
There were definitely some questions that needed answering. And I was starting to get impatient about when we were going to sit down and discuss them. Fortunately, Adam came in a moment later with some sandwiches for us. “I know you just ate, but I didn’t know if you were maybe hungry again?” he asked, setting one plate down next to me. “You’re eating for two now.”
“I am,” I agreed. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I nibbled at the food, thinking about that. Maybe this was the time to open the conversation. I tried to think of the best way to start.
Before I could, Adam sighed. “So, I guess we should talk.”
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t get the air out of my lungs. I nodded. “Yes, we do,” I agreed.
24
Adam
I was glad that Mindy seemed to be feeling better, but I knew it meant it was time for us to talk about the elephant in the room. Or baby, as it were. I still wasn’t totally sure how I wanted to approach things, but I knew that if I thought about things any longer, I was only going to get even more nervous and tongue-tied.
It had taken all that I had not to talk to Vera and Wendell about the pregnancy while they were there before. I still wasn’t sure how much Vera knew, and besides, they were there for work things, not personal chats. It would be hugely inappropriate for me to talk about my relationship with Mindy then.
The two of them were gone now, though, and it was time to talk.
I sat back, my sandwich forgotten. I sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?” I asked Mindy. It was something I’d been tossing around in my head since she had told me about the baby. What would have happened if she hadn’t been hit by that car? Would she ever have told me about the pregnancy, or had she only told me because she needed to justi
fy why she had wanted me there in that moment?
I didn’t like thinking about it. Having an unexpected child with one of my interns might be complicated, but I still wanted to know about all of it.
Mindy wrung her hands together. “I just… I’m your intern,” she finally said, her voice barely audible. “I didn’t want you to think I was trying to use you to get ahead. I didn’t plan this.”
“I know that,” I said quietly. For all that I’d been worried about what she might want, there wasn’t a single part of me that thought she had gone out to try to get pregnant.
“The truth is that I need the money,” Mindy continued, a faint blush staining her cheeks. “The coffee shop hasn’t been as busy lately, so they’re cutting back on my hours, and if I lost the internship, too, then I don’t know what I would do. I mean, Risa will help as much as she can, but she can’t pay for the apartment on her own.”
She took a deep breath. “So I’ve been applying for other jobs, but basically I haven’t gotten hired by anyone yet and so I need this internship, but I know that totally violates the whole thing that we said about never talking about this again.” She paused. “I was going to tell you as soon as I knew I had something else that was going to pay the bills.”
My lips tightened. “You think I’d kick you out of the company the moment I found out you were pregnant?” I asked, wondering how the hell she could think that about me.
Mindy sighed and stared down at her hands. “No,” she said quietly. “I don’t think so. But that’s exactly what I’m scared of.” She looked up at me through her eyelashes. “If I stay with your company, I want it to be because of my design skills. I want it to be because I earned my place there. Not because you’re afraid that if you fire me, you’ll face some sort of lawsuit.”
Her mouth twisted bitterly. “I know you’re worried that I’ll be just like your ex. I mean, not that I know the whole story there, but I don’t want anything from you. I wanted to sleep with you. I didn’t do it because I was trying to secure a place with the company or anything.”
I stared at her for a long moment, emotions racing through me. I had to admit, I was gobsmacked. It wasn’t just that she hadn’t tried to get pregnant, but she really didn’t want to use me at all. She didn’t want me to give her a raise that she didn’t deserve, but more than that, she would rather make it on her own than do anything improper.
It was refreshing. The fact that it wasn’t about the money for her, that was huge.
“Come here,” I said, opening my arms to her. I was practically holding my breath while I waited for her to move, not sure how she was feeling at the moment. But she scrambled into my arms, holding me tightly, her arms wrapped around me. I sighed softly, stroking her hair.
“So what now?” she asked tearfully as we cuddled on the couch.
I was quiet for a long moment. The truth was, I knew in that moment that I wanted to be with her. That I wanted to raise our kid together. I liked her—she had spunk and she had talent and she was almost painfully sweet and innocent. Not only that, but she seemed to actually want me, not my money or my prestige or a position with my company. I had to respect that.
Still, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. I was afraid that if I asked for too much right now, I was going to do nothing more than push her away. I didn’t want to force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. I knew that she had certain plans for her future and that even though the baby would cause some changes to those plans, well, at the end of the day I didn’t even fully know what those plans were.
I needed to get to know her better before we started promising forever to one another.
So I kept things deliberately short-sighted for now. “For now, I’d like you to stick with the internship,” I said.
Mindy shook her head. “I can’t do that,” she said, although I could hear the pain in her voice. “I’m going to start to show before too much longer.”
I took a deep breath. “No one has to know that it’s my baby,” I said.
Mindy was quiet for a long moment. “I guess not,” she finally said. There was something unreadable in her voice, but for now, I didn’t question it.
“So we’ll wait for three months until your internship is over and you have a different job, and then maybe we can see about giving us a real shot,” I said, as though it was settled.
But she nodded in response, and I felt some of the tension release in my chest. Not all of it, of course. Three months… That was a long time. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stop myself from touching her for so long. Already, it was almost too much to have her this close to me. Right now, the main thing keeping me from carrying her off to the bedroom was the fact that she had been injured not too long ago.
“One last thing,” I continued, trying to forget about my desire for her at least for now. “I want to be part of the baby’s life. For now, we’ll be discreet, but I want to go to the doctor’s checkups. I want to be there for you during the pregnancy.”
“Okay,” Mindy agreed.
There was more I wanted to say, but it seemed like the logical end of the conversation. Again, I didn’t want to get too ahead of myself just yet. I didn’t want to scare her off. Not to mention, I could tell she was getting tired again. So even though there was more that I wanted to say, about how I already felt like I had a connection to her, and even though there was more I wanted to learn about her, for now it was time to table it while we were at a good spot.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked her. “I don’t want to overtax you.”
“That sounds great,” Mindy said. She relaxed back against the cushions while we decided on a movie. She was asleep only about twenty minutes in. I happened to glance over, and for a moment, I couldn’t help but stare.
I yanked my gaze away, though, realizing how creepy it was for me to just stare at her like that. I slipped into the kitchen and returned with my laptop, only half paying attention to the movie as I checked in with work things. I had come clean to HR about what was going on, and it was a relief to hear back. They appreciated my honesty and assured that as long as Mindy gave a statement that it was a consensual relationship, we would be fine.
The trouble was, would I be able to keep my hands off her as I had promised I would? Only time would tell.
25
Mindy
Wednesday morning, I was still feeling better again, both mentally and physically. I was glad that Adam and I had talked through some things, even if I still felt like there was a lot more that we needed to talk about. Really, we had only scratched the surface. He had told me that he wanted to be there through the pregnancy, but what would happen after the baby was born? We hadn’t addressed that yet.
It felt like this was still a ticking time bomb. Once the next three months were up, where would that leave us? But I was trying not to think too hard about that now. I had been ready to do this pregnancy on my own, and I still was. I wasn’t sure how I would do that. On the other hand, Adam was going to let me keep my internship for now, and had even cleared that with HR. That meant I still had an income and didn’t need to worry. If I was careful…
I didn’t know how I was going to handle things after the internship was over. I wasn’t going to be able to save enough, in between all the doctor’s appointments and vitamins and everything else, to sustain myself once the internship was over. I would have to cross that bridge when I got to it, though. Even if it meant going back home for a while.
Speaking of home… Now that I was feeling better, I knew I needed to call my parents and let them know about the accident. So while Adam cooked breakfast, I went into the living room and dialed Mom’s number.
As I waited for her to pick up the phone, I glanced around the apartment. The place looked attractive, but as I looked a little closer, I realized how impersonal it all felt. There weren’t even any holiday decorations in there, or personal mementos of any kind. I supposed that made sense when I thought about it. He had just g
otten divorced. Maybe this place was new. Maybe this was going to be Adam’s first holiday without his wife.
Still, it was sad to see. It made me want to ask, but before I could say anything to Adam, Mom picked up. It was just as well—I wasn’t sure that I had any right to ask Adam things like that anyway. Because even though we had talked, we hadn’t really defined our relationship. At the moment, he was still just the father of my child and the boss of the company I worked for.
I couldn’t help but wish for more. He had been so kind to me ever since I had called him from the hospital. I didn’t know how to ask for more, though.
I let myself be drawn into the conversation with Mom. She was of course upset to hear that I had been in an accident, and even more upset to hear that I hadn’t called her right away. Fortunately, she calmed down some when I assured her I had people looking out for me.
She did promise that she was going to come out to visit me as soon as she could and that she was going to research flights the second she got off the phone. That in itself made me a little nervous. Would I have to introduce her to Adam? Would Adam let me introduce him to her? He was going to be the father of their grandchild, and that meant he was going to be in their lives as much as in mine.
It was yet another thing we were going to have to talk about at some point. For now, though, those topics of conversation just kept piling up. I was starting to have the feeling that I needed to be on my own, back in my apartment, before we covered anything else.
I mean, a few days ago, I hadn’t even told Adam about the pregnancy, let alone thought about my vision for a future in which he knew about the baby. Everything had happened so fast. Here in his apartment, with him making breakfast for me, it was all too easy to think first and foremost about his sex appeal and not about all the details.
I needed to get a little space from him before we sat down to figure out our futures. I was sure he must feel the same.
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