Hell, at this point, I’d spend every bit of my savings on that girl, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
Of course I knew she didn’t care about what we did. She didn’t demand that I spend money on her left and right; she wasn’t that kind of person. She’d grown up without much money, so she was used to roughing it, so to speak.
I stood waiting for a good long while, a lot longer than I thought I’d wait. I checked my phone, noting the time. Kelsey was late, which was odd. She was never late when we set up a time to meet. I started to text her.
I didn’t even get to send the text when I heard Kelsey’s voice rise from behind me, “Texting another one of your bitches, or am I the only bitch you’re focusing on right now?” Her tone cut me like a knife, and I turned toward her, noticing that she had her arms crossed.
She looked…downright enraged.
“I’m texting you,” I said, closing the screen before putting my phone away. “What are you talking about?” Don’t tell me she was one of those girls who always accused you of cheating. That was not something I wanted to be a part of.
“So I’m the only one,” she muttered, her full lips curling downwards into a frown. “Lucky fucking me.” Her dark eyes were narrowed, and even though other SCC students walked along the sidewalks around us, she did not keep her voice lowered. She practically shouted at me as she asked, “How long were you planning on keeping this up? Just curious. Were you waiting until I found out, or did you plan on taking me somewhere tonight and dumping me? And I don’t mean breaking up with me, because we were never together—”
The more she talked, the more I realized this, whatever it was, was serious. “Kelsey, what are you talking about?”
“Don’t try to play innocent with me, Levi.”
I felt like I was punched in the gut. Stupid, considering all she’d done was use my real name—but that was the thing. Kelsey never spoke my real name out loud. It was always Blue. Blue, dick, sometimes asshole. Never Levi.
“I know you taped us,” she declared, turning her nose up. “And I wonder just how many other girls you taped in that bed before me.”
Taped? What was she…
Then it hit me: Dean. Fucking Dean. This was Dean’s plan all along, wasn’t it? He wasn’t talking about telling Kelsey about Mel—he meant this. Toss a bomb between us and watch us explode. The fucker knew I was happy with Kelsey, and because he was miserable, everyone else had to be miserable around him, too.
I was going to kill that bastard.
“Kelsey,” I said, taking a step toward her. I stopped as she took a step backward, not letting me near her. Her crossed arms had fallen to her sides, and I saw her hands were clenched into fists. She blamed me for this, which she had every right to. “I didn’t—”
I didn’t tape us. I didn’t know. It wasn’t me.
“Don’t,” she said, and I immediately stopped. Kelsey was a hothead; she wouldn’t listen to a single word I’d tell her. Not right now. She needed time. She needed to cool down—if she ever did.
It was then I thought something truly terrible: what if she never cooled down? What if she never wanted to see or talk to me again? I’d never have the chance to explain the truth, never be able to tell her just how much she meant to me. Dean had fucked everything up.
“Whatever excuse you have, I don’t want to hear it,” she told me, confident in her words. “I don’t want anything to do with you, Levi. I don’t want to see you or talk to you ever again. I’m going to email Professor Strauss tonight and ask him for a change in partners.” Her dark eyes fell to my feet, slowly rising, sluggishly eating up my appearance one last time. “Goodbye, Levi.” And then she started walking away, taking a piece of me with her.
Kelsey abruptly stopped, about ten feet away, and she turned her head back to me, her dark eyes twinkling. “Oh, could you do me a favor? If you see a bridge, jump off it—or invite me along so I can push you off it.” And that was the last thing she said to me before leaving.
Leaving me. Leaving me a type of crushed I’d never felt before, not even last year, after I found out Mel had tried to kill herself because of what I did, because of Dean, because of my fraternity ‘brothers.’
I could’ve run to her, could’ve tried harder to explain the truth. I could’ve gotten on my knees and begged her to give me another chance, but that wasn’t me. I didn’t beg. I didn’t run and frantically try to explain things I shouldn’t have to explain.
If Dean had taped us, that meant there was a camera somewhere in my room. If Dean had taped me and Kelsey, I could only imagine who else he’d taped, other rooms in the house, other unknowing girls who bared it all for the camera without knowing.
Really, with what I did last year, me not caring enough, this was what I deserved. I didn’t deserve to have Kelsey, to be happy. This was payback, karma for what happened with Mel, for the life she’d almost taken because I was the world’s biggest dick to her, all to stay in Sigma Chi, to get my mom off my back.
No. I’d merely been playing with fire every second I was with Kelsey. All along I’d known, but I’d went for her anyways. She was better off without me, and me? This low, aching hurt would eventually go away in time. I’d get used to it. I’d learn to ignore it.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
At this point, I didn’t know what to do. Play it cool? Act as if Dean hadn’t gotten to me? Pretend that this…breakup that wasn’t really a breakup since we weren’t technically dating? I had no idea what the best course of action was, but I knew one thing for sure.
I was going to kill that motherfucker. I was going to get back at him in the worst way for doing this to me, to Kelsey. I couldn’t imagine how she felt. I hadn’t seen the video, but I knew it didn’t paint her in a good light. A slut, a whore. I tried not to use those words, but I knew other people still used them frequently.
She was the one who deserved better. I’d been a fool for thinking that we could be together.
A fucking fool.
Chapter Eighteen – Kelsey
God, I really needed to get out of this campus for a little while.
That thought constantly replayed in my head over and over, intensifying when classes resumed the next Monday. I tried my hardest not to think about what happened, not to picture the look on Levi’s face when I walked away, but it was impossible.
That guy…the asshole, he’d looked shocked. Flabbergasted. He’d looked like he wasn’t expecting me to walk away, like he thought he had me forever, like I didn’t have enough of a spine to put my foot down, tell him fuck you, and walk away like any self-respecting bitch would have when caught in a similar situation.
Some girls might not, I knew, like Mel. Mel wasn’t that strong. She needed people to back her up, people to remind her what was smart and what was stupid. Me? I’d known all along something could go wrong with Levi because he was friends with Dean, but a secret, tiny part of me had hoped desperately that I’d be wrong.
Normally I loved being right. Normally I reveled in me being right, but not now. When it came to this, I couldn’t have hated being right more. This was literally the one situation that I’d gladly take being wrong about.
My bio professor did not ask why I wanted a seat change, not since I said personal reasons—and probably because I’d threatened to go to above his head if he refused. I may have mentioned the Me Too movement, which I thought he’d understand, help him know the situation without me having to really tell him all of the details.
My new lab partner was a girl named Felicity. She seemed nice enough, and even though she had to switch partners, she didn’t seem too upset about it. She’d claimed her old partner was stupid anyway, so she’d be better off with me—I, of course, neglected to tell her that biology was my worst subject and that I hated experiments. It just meant I’d have to try harder in class, that’s all, since our grades were linked.
Levi didn’t show up to the first lab after the incident, which was just fine. It wasn’t
like I wanted to see his stupid face anyways. His stupid, sexy as hell face which a part of me still adored and wanted to cover in chocolate and lick off.
Not thoughts I should be having about that asshole.
The days honestly passed in a blur, and I was too upset to even talk to Ash about it. Ash had felt more distant as the semester wore on, and I…I feared I dug myself a hole I had to crawl out of myself.
Fuck Levi. Fuck everyone. Fuck literally everyone else on this campus except for Mel. Mel was the only one who I could trust, and yet I still hadn’t told her what went on with Levi and me. I didn’t want her to think I’d betrayed her by telling her not to go after Dean and yet, there I was, running along after Levi like some kind of stupid idiot.
I usually tried my best not to be an idiot, and usually that worked out well enough.
When Friday came, and I still hadn’t seen Levi in lab, I knew I had to do something. Had to see him again, had to yell at him. Had to do something instead of go to class like a good girl and keep stealing glances at his empty seat.
No. I shouldn’t want to see him again. Any sane girl wouldn’t. But me? I didn’t know whether or not I’d even consider myself sane right now. Right now, I was fuming, and the more time I spent thinking about it, the more time I wondered how many people on this campus—and even strangers off it, because once something was on the internet, you could never really take it down—had seen me suck his dick and get fucked.
It was downright dumb for me to do what I planned on doing tonight, but, call me crazy, call me stupid, I didn’t get the closure I wanted. I didn’t let him try to explain just what the hell he’d been thinking. Maybe, if I let him talk, it would finally sink into my thick skull: Levi Harlen was a supreme asshole, the king of dicks, ruling the campus with his co-king of dicks, Dean.
Yeah, hearing him try to explain would definitely shake my body of its lingering crush.
When I got ready that Friday night—even doing a bit of makeup, which I never normally did—Mel watched me curiously. “You going out again? Last weekend didn’t turn out so well.”
“Last weekend I’d gone out blind,” I said, applying some mascara using the small desk mirror Mel had. “This weekend I know exactly what I’m going out for.” This weekend I was marching to Sigma Chi, finding Levi, and demanding to know what his fucked-up truth was, and I was going to look damn fine doing it.
“And what’s that?” Mel asked.
“Dick,” I answered her bluntly, causing her to laugh. She wouldn’t be laughing if she knew what I meant. Oh, I was going out for dick, but not for the dick I wanted. This whole campus had probably already seen me getting railed, so why not go all out? Why not go a little crazy? If I meant nothing to Levi, he meant nothing to me.
Maybe I wouldn’t talk to him at all. Maybe I’d just find another guy to be with, and do it right in front of him. It wasn’t like I was Mel; I hadn’t protected my virginity. I was not above using my body as a way to get back at him.
All those times we were together…there was no way it was all fake. There had to be a kernel of something real there, and I wanted to watch Levi’s eyes as he realized his little stunt with the video didn’t hurt me. It ticked me the fuck off, but it didn’t hurt me. I would not break from this.
“Well, at least you’re honest,” Mel chuckled, running a hand through her hair. She had no scars on her wrist, so she didn’t try to cut herself there. I was aware there were other places one could cut oneself, but I knew enough not to ask exactly how she’d tried to commit suicide. There were just some things you left alone, and that was one of them.
I was more than honest, at least when it came to what I got up to. To Mel, I was the opposite of honest, because I knew it’d only upset her. Especially now that I knew she’d been suicidal, I didn’t want to push her back in that direction at all.
Once my makeup was done and I was ready to rock the party, I asked her, “Should I kiss you goodbye and tell you not to wait up for me?”
Mel’s chest giggled. “I really wish you wouldn’t.”
I tossed a thin jacket over my shoulders before leaving. The nights had gotten a little cooler. It neared the end of October, so the change in weather was expected. I wore tight jeans that showed off every curve of my hips and ass, and a low-cut shirt that anyone taller than me could easily peer down and see my breasts. No bra, because who the fuck needed a bra when you were on a revenge mission?
Yell at him, be with someone else right in front of him. Was that petty of me?
You know what? I didn’t even care if it was petty. If that made me petty, then I was the pettiest girl around and didn’t give a shit. Me being petty came hand-in-hand with what happened to me last week. I’d had a whole week to think about being petty, and I sure as hell was going to do my best to enjoy it.
Revenge had never tasted sweeter, and if I dick-punched a guy or two—preferably Levi—then I’d consider it a win.
I walked across campus, figuring out just what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. Levi couldn’t think he won. Revenge might’ve been petty, spite might not have been my thing, but I was prepared to do whatever I had to do get my point across.
Since the weather had gotten a tad chillier, the party at Sigma Chi was held inside the house. The curtains were drawn, but I heard music pumping as I walked up the front steps to the house. They were definitely having a party, and with any luck, Levi would be in there.
My hand grabbed the knob and I yanked the door open, walking in like I owned the place. Immediately I was greeted with the sight of people making out in the stairwell, and I rolled my eyes at them. It was barely dark out; they couldn’t wait to hook up at a respectable hour, like midnight or something? It was like nine-thirty. Come on.
I headed straight to the kitchen, where I found the stash of booze. I grabbed a glass bottle that was only supposed to be used to mix other, less strong drinks—vodka wasn’t my favorite, because I thought it tasted like shit, but I needed a little liquid courage for what I was about to do. It tasted like knives running down my throat, and I gagged only a little.
Three huge sips should be enough, right?
Once I returned the bottle to its rightful place, walking right past a group of SCC students who eyed me like I was some experiment on display, giggling too—if I had to bet, I’d say they saw my video. Fans of mine—I headed to the living room, where I found a few of the fraternity boys.
Boys. That’s all they were, because men did not act like this.
I spotted Dean resting on the couch, his knees spread. He had a girl beside him, crooning over him like his dick was magical. His brown eyes were on the couch opposite him, where my target sat. Levi.
Only Levi wasn’t alone.
Oh, no. That would make this too fucking easy. Too simple. Too in-and-out.
Nope. Why the hell would Levi be alone? We weren’t together. The jig was up, so it really shouldn’t surprise me to see him with his tongue down the throat of another girl. But, you know what? You know the craziest thing about all of this?
Even after everything he did, even after fucking up so royally, it still hurt, seeing his mouth attached to another girl.
Forget about ripping him a new asshole. I was going to rip the dick right off that motherfucker and enjoy the hell out of it.
Chapter Nineteen – Levi
I didn’t want to sit and drink, didn’t want to pretend everything was fine. How the hell could I? The one thing I wanted to do was take Dean down, but I didn’t want to make any moves until I was sure that I could. I’d found the camera in my room—it was a tiny thing, wireless, too, nestled between some old textbooks I never touched on my desk, blending in with the shadows.
I didn’t move the camera, because then he’d know for sure I was onto him. I’d play his game. I’d play his game until I transferred all the pieces to my own board without him knowing, and then I’d take his ass down.
When the party first started, Dean had found me, a beer i
n his hand. “So,” he spoke with a sleazy smile, “where’s that girlfriend of yours?”
“She was never my girlfriend,” I told him, resisting my urge to punch him in the face.
“Awe, did you two break up?”
My mouth thinned into a line, and I glared. “I’m not seeing her anymore, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
Dean cocked his head. “Why not? You two seemed to get along great.” The way his voice sounded, the bastard was genuine. I knew his interest wasn’t, though. He was just fishing to see if he’d hurt me by what he did.
Oh, I’d found the video. I’d found it, and instantly grown enraged on Kelsey’s behalf. Me? I didn’t care about me being filmed, not really. My rage was for Kelsey. She didn’t deserve to be tossed in the middle of this little feud between us.
“It wasn’t going to work out,” I told him, hoping that would be that. I’d play the part I had to play tonight, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. There was no way I’d be taking anyone upstairs ever again, not with that camera being up there. Unknowingly playing into Dean’s hand and doing it willingly and consciously were two different things.
The fucker wouldn’t get me again.
We ended up in the living room as the party progressed, and circles of girls stood around us. A few of the other guys in the fraternity had chosen their prey for the night, leaving Dean and I to glare at each other from opposite couches. It wasn’t too long before he pulled a girl to his side, practically tugging her on his lap. She acted annoyed at first, but then Dean whispered something in her ear, to which she flushed and giggled.
He had a way with them, that’s for sure. Dean knew how to drown his sorrows, but me? I didn’t like losing myself in between a different girl’s legs every week.
As the girl got handsy with him, touching his chest, his stomach, drawing her leg over his lap and leaning it against his crotch—which I bet sported an erection—Dean met eyes with me again.
Playing Games: A College Bully Romance Page 11