While he worked on himself, I shimmied my pants and underwear down. The car was a bit cold on my ass, but I didn’t care. The one thing I cared about right now was getting that cock inside of me and making yet another mistake when it came to Levi Harlen.
One of his hands went to grab the base of his shaft, his fist running over its length one time before he positioned it at my entrance. I was torn between gazing off into the distance or staring at him. If I watched those blue eyes as we fucked, I might lose myself completely—and that was something I didn’t want to do. Those beautiful, broken eyes were the kind of eyes that kept luring you back.
I couldn’t be one of those girls who kept on crawling back to the guy who fucked them over left and right. No. I wouldn’t let myself sink to that level, wouldn’t let myself get to that point. I would not be one of those stereotypical, clichéd girls. I meant it when I said this was it.
A loud breath escaped me when he pushed himself inside, needing no extra lubrication. I was already that wet for him, that needy. My body had readied itself as best as it could, and now it took his cock like a champ.
Not sure what that said about me, but whatever.
My eyes moved, my head tilting back, locking with his stare. His blue gaze rested on me, and with each thrust of his hips, with each movement of his cock in me, his stare glazed over, becoming lust-filled and eager. I probably looked the same way, greedily taking every single pump of that cock I could. His dick was like magic—or maybe that was just Levi.
One of his hands was on the car beside me, but the other went to my neck, holding me still as his lips found mine. Levi drowned me with fire and heat, a burning in my belly that only he could put out—but that’s the thing. He wasn’t putting it out; he merely fanned the flames, knowing how crazy he drove me. Knowing how badly I needed every single part of him. Those rough lips, that veiny cock, the way his shoulders tensed with each thrust of his hips.
Pressure built inside of me, and I didn’t even bother trying to fight it. I had to pull my mouth off his. Levi fucking me against someone’s car was just too hot in and of itself, never mind the way his cock felt inside of me. It was like my body was already at the edge, the precipice, whenever it came to Levi. It hardly needed pushing; more like a nudging. When the orgasm ripped through me, I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying out, clinging to Levi’s body as he continued to thrust. My fingers dug into his shirt, and I buried my face against his solid chest, inhaling him, needing to lose myself in him for just a few more moments.
As the fire burned within me from the orgasm, Levi soon found his own release. When he came, his entire body shuddered, a low, ragged groan rising from his throat. It was a sound I’d come to love, a sound I’d miss in the future. His whole body tensed, practically slamming mine against the car behind me, his thrusting slowing as he emptied himself inside of me.
Oh, yeah. There’d be no cleaning up from this. I’d walk back to my dorm room with my head hung low and Levi’s cum seeping onto my panties. Maybe someday I’d learn to stay away from guys like him.
Tonight was not that night, apparently.
Levi remained inside of me for a few moments, slowly pulling out as his body stepped away from mine. I was motionless for a few moments as Levi put himself away, thinking to myself, what have I done? I just took another huff of the illegal drug that was Levi. Bad, bad Kelsey. When will you ever learn?
The truth? The truth was that I’d never learn. If I was teachable about these things, I would’ve already known enough to steer clear of him, but I didn’t. I went and purposefully poked the beast—then fucked the beast—and now I had to deal with the messy aftermath.
I pulled up my pants, zipping and buttoning them up as I met his eyes once again. I didn’t see lies in his eyes, but then again, those eyes were liars. I knew that by now, so I didn’t know why I expected to finally see his truth. Levi kept whatever he was feeling close to his chest. Closed-off, quiet, yet cocky and confident. Even after all this, he was still a riddle to me.
He was a riddle I’d have to leave unsolved, now.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said, although maybe he should be the one thanking me. I said nothing else, tearing my gaze away from him, from his ridiculously handsome face and his equally ridiculously sexy body.
Levi said nothing as I pushed past him, heading out of the parking lot. I didn’t even know if he watched me go. If I looked over my shoulder, would I see his intense expression, a scowl, or would I see something else? Maybe he wasn’t even watching. Maybe he’d simply left to head back to his place, too. That whole encounter probably meant nothing to him, which made me hurt a bit.
Me, Kelsey Yates. It was stupid. I was the one who always hurt the other person, not the other way around. Until now, I never let myself get too close. I never wanted to be close…but Levi had changed that. Yep, he’d changed it, and just as I was starting to see the error of my ways, he pulled the rug out from under me.
I got what I deserved, for thinking that we could maybe make it work.
Stupid. I’d been stupid.
I swore to myself, as I walked back in the darkness to my dorm, that I’d never be stupid again.
Chapter Twenty-One – Kelsey
The days became a blur once again. I tried to focus on my schoolwork, on my classes and the papers I had to write while in the library—even though Mel offered me her laptop when she wasn’t using it—but it was hard. It was so inherently difficult to focus on those stupid things when my mind refused to move on from Levi.
In bio, I did my best to ignore his presence entirely, although it was near impossible when he kept tossing looks at me and purposefully brushing against my body every time he walked by. The fucking asshole. I paid attention to my new lab partner, to the workbook and our experiments. Levi would get nothing from me. Absolutely nothing.
It was one sunny yet chilly October day when I was walking back from the union, a sandwich tucked into my backpack—my late lunch—when I literally ran into the one person I did not want to see or talk to, ever.
And, no, I didn’t mean Levi. I meant the other person.
Dean.
Dean’s black hair was getting a little long, but then again, Dean so obviously wasn’t my type of guy. He was a dick. I liked dicks, but not that kind. And if you’re wondering, yes, there were different kinds of dick out there.
I’d just left the student union through the side door, rammed myself into his chest, and was moments from apologizing when I realized who it was. Needless to say, the apology died somewhere between my brain thinking it and the words actually forming in my throat.
“You,” I simply said, shooting him a frown. He was a cute enough guy, but nowhere near Levi’s level. Still…I could understand what Mel saw in him, especially since they were high school sweethearts. Sometimes first loves never died.
Uh…hold up. That was a bad thought to have, wasn’t it? Not that I was saying I was in love with Levi or anything, but…
“Me,” Dean said, smirking. “I know, I know. I’m amazing.”
“That’s not exactly how I would describe you, but okay.” I tried to sidestep him, but he only got in my way. Over and over, the bastard wouldn’t let me pass. Shooting him a glare, I asked, “Is there something you want, Dean?”
Dean’s black eyes studied me. I hated the way he looked at me, like I meant nothing. Like I was just some tool for him to use against Mel, to try to win Mel back. Stupid, considering I knew he got around. That girl at the party had been all over him, and I was sure she wasn’t the only one.
How could he even hope to get Mel back when he was still fucking around? Granted, I did think people could change, but a party boy like him? Not so fast. Maybe in ten years when he was a real man, but right now I thought the last thing he would possibly do was change so drastically. Once a cheater always a cheater.
“Yeah,” he said, frowning. “I want to know why you don’t think I’d be good for Mel. What makes you such an expert on the
subject?”
“How can you want her back when you’re still sticking your dick in other girls?” I shot back, not bothering to keep my voice quiet. Other students walked around us, but I didn’t care if they heard me. “You’re not good enough for her.”
Dean crossed his arms. He was not as muscular as Levi, but he was big enough to make me want to take a step back. There was no trust between him and I; I didn’t know what this bastard was capable of. “I think it’s funny that you’re a know-it-all when it comes to Mel and I, and yet you fuck Levi at every turn.”
Now it was my turn to glare. “What happens between Levi and me is none of your business.” And, hell, Levi and I were over anyway. There was no coming back for us, for him, not after what he did. That was a hill I’d die on.
“Your boy Levi isn’t as great as you think he is,” Dean said, taking a step closer to me. “If you think Levi is a better guy than me, you’re wrong.”
“Trust me,” I told him, “I don’t think Levi is a good guy, and I know you aren’t one, either.” Good guys were a thing of the past, I guessed. A thing of fiction, of TV. Good guys didn’t exist in real life, not in today’s day and age. Common courtesy had died. There were no gentlemen anymore. “I’m not stupid.”
Correction: I might occasionally do stupid things, but that did not make me stupid.
“So you saw the video?” Dean asked, obviously giddy about it. I didn’t know if he had beef with Levi or me, since I’d told Mel to steer clear of him, and I didn’t care. This conversation was going to end in three…two…one… “There’s more, you know.”
I felt my heart nearly stop in my chest. More? More video of me? More videos of other girls in his bed? I…I didn’t want to think about that, didn’t want to picture any of it. My video was bad enough, but others? Hell to the no. “I don’t want to hear about it.” I pushed past him, bumping shoulders with him as I went.
Dean spun and started to walk with me. “Oh, come on. If you and Levi are done, what’s the harm?” Somehow, this prick knew exactly which buttons to push on me. If he wasn’t careful, I’d explode right in his face. He wouldn’t like me when I was angry. No one did.
“The harm?” I abruptly stopped, shooting him an exasperated look. “Dean, do me a favor and get the fuck out of my sight, okay?” This time, when I started to walk, Dean didn’t come with me. This time Dean remained still, though I did notice him pull out his phone and start texting someone.
Whatever. That guy could go take a long walk off a short pier and I’d be more than okay with it. If he dropped off the face of the earth, I would not be sad. Not even a little, as horrible as it was.
I made it back to my dorm room without an incident. Mel wasn’t there, which I thought was a little strange. Eh, maybe she had to stop at the library for some research or something. Some professors made you use real books instead of just the scholarly articles you could find online. Needless to say, I hated those professors.
You know what else I hated? Or, really, who?
Dean. Fucking Dean. Dean and Levi, really. I hated them both, but right now my hatred for Dean was a little bit stronger than my hatred for Levi.
Who did Dean think he was, practically pouncing on me? Had he been watching me, getting to know my routine? How else would he have known I’d be walking out of the side of the union at that exact moment? Creepy as hell. Plus the whole thing he’d said about Levi and there being more…like I wanted to know, like I was desperate to know more about Levi and his penchant for taping sexual encounters? Hell no.
That was just infuriating. Literally infuriating. Like, as I sat on my bed, pulling out my sandwich, I couldn’t help but fume. Both of those guys could fuck off.
I ate my sandwich in silence, not even bothering to turn on Mel’s TV. She said I was welcome to it anytime, but the silence helped me think. Or, really, it helped me fume. If I focused on my anger towards Dean and Levi, I wouldn’t have the mental capacity to focus on other things…like Levi and how amazingly deep his blue eyes were, how his body felt when it was connected to mine, how low and almost dangerous his voice was.
Yeah. Still kind of had it bad for Levi, which was stupid, considering what he did. We were over. Why couldn’t my mind realize this?
Once I was done eating, I unpacked my bag and went to shower. The day was winding down, and I…I didn’t know. I needed to call it an early night. I needed to talk to Ash, but she was hardly responding these days, too lost in her own drama at Hillcrest. It was dumb, but I didn’t feel like dragging her down even more with my own drama.
Was it even drama, what I had? At this point, I didn’t know if it was drama or something else.
Mel still wasn’t back when I returned to our room after I showered. I set down my shower caddy under my desk, moving to grab my phone off its charger and text her. Hopefully Mel was okay. Hopefully Dean didn’t stalk her and pounce on her like he’d done to me. It was then I had a terrible thought.
Was Dean capable of violence? Would he hurt her, since he couldn’t get her back?
I honestly didn’t know. I hadn’t known Dean for long, and even then, I didn’t really know know him. I only knew what he did based on what other people said. I could see for myself that he was the king of all dicks, though—followed closely by Levi, of all people.
But, you know what? If Levi would’ve been nice, if he would’ve been the gentleman of all gentlemen…I didn’t think I’d have fallen for him so hard. I liked the excitement, the uncertainty. The notion of fire colliding with fire to create a firestorm of epic proportions. The wild energy drew me like a moth to the…well, to the flame. I’d been helpless against Levi, and now I paid the price.
Did I regret being with him? Hell, I didn’t even know. Maybe. Maybe I regretted every single kiss. Maybe I regretted going to him at that party, practically throwing myself at him after learning of my parents’ divorce. God, it felt insanely childish now, when I looked back; having sex with a guy, just to forget the shittiness of my life.
Guess the joke was officially on me now, huh? My life was even worse now than it was that night. My parents were still getting divorced, I’d pretty much shut Ash out of my life, and the guy I was practically head over heels for had royally fucked me over by spreading a video of us having sex.
Yeah. Just when you thought life couldn’t get any worse, it came and showed you how wrong you were. Things could always get worse. Things in life rarely got better, in my experience. If this was how the rest of my life was going to go, I…I didn’t know if I even wanted it.
Maybe after college I’d move away and start a new life, pretend my past simply didn’t exist.
It was late by the time Mel got back. Late as in super late. Late as in I didn’t think she’d ever returned to the dorm so late. I was already in bed, half asleep, the moment the door creaked open and she stepped in. With a groggy head, I checked my phone. Mel never texted me back. Huh. Was she taking a page out of Ash’s book?
“Everything okay?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbows to look at her.
Mel tossed me a look. She didn’t move to turn on any lights; the only light that was in the room came from the crack underneath the door from the hallway. “Yeah,” she eventually said. “Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
And because I was me—letting the stress of my life eat me whole—my head plopped back down, I rolled over, and went to sleep.
Little did I know that everything was not fine. The very opposite, actually.
Chapter Twenty-Two – Levi
Every time I had bio, I did my best to ignore her. It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, pretend that Kelsey didn’t exist. My body craved hers, and I missed her presence near me while doing these stupid experiments involving algae and other tiny creatures. I missed her sass, her snark, her quick wit and silver tongue.
Oh, that tongue. I missed her tongue especially.
Each time class wrapped up, Kelsey was one of the first out of the room. She probably fi
gured if she hightailed it from the class she wouldn’t have to see or talk to me, and that was fine, because each time I let her go. If I wanted to catch up to her, to talk to her, I could’ve easily; she wasn’t as wily as she thought she was. No, I let her go. I let her go because I had to.
There was no other choice in this. I had to let her go. She was better off without me. I’d only cause her harm, like I’d already done, thanks to Dean.
Now Dean? I didn’t plan on sitting back and taking his shit. Oh, no. I had a plan, but it was a plan I’d have to move slowly on for it to work.
Once lab was over, I packed up leisurely. So fucking sluggishly as if I was a snail. I was the last one out of the classroom, besides the professor. I didn’t even take the side stairs, even though they were faster than waiting for the elevator. I had time to waste and no one to talk to, so there was no point. I waited for the elevator, refusing to look at any of the other SCC students who were already in it on its way down. I filed in, and the doors closed.
I stared hard at the elevator’s metal ceiling, wondering how the hell my life had gotten so screwed up. Karma was a bitch, and she’d finally gotten me back. This, being without Kelsey, was torture. I hated it more than I’d ever hated anything before.
When the elevator hit the ground floor, the doors opened, and I was the first out. The elevator faced the main front doors to the science building, and I was greeted by a sun that was too bright. Too yellow. Too fucking happy, considering. If the weather could match my mood, it’d be a downpour, a rainstorm like no other, complete with flashfloods and mudslides.
I took my time in walking back to the house, my head hanging low. I really just wanted to press fast-forward and be done with this place, but a part of me—the stupid part of me—wanted to try to win Kelsey back. Tell her the truth, convince her that it wasn’t me. She’d probably think I was lying, trying to push the blame on someone else like the asshole she believed me to be.
Playing Games: A College Bully Romance Page 13