“Not much of a billionaire’s playground,” Jarmasin commented.
“I know,” I confessed. “I’m not good at being a billionaire. Do you know, I’ve been here nearly two weeks and still don’t know how to work the trivee. As for the rec room, other than a table tennis table, what should go in it? Games, books, a music centre chairs, tables, what? What do sophisticated Galactic beings do for entertainment?”
“A better question is what does a primitive Earthman do for entertainment,” Lorca said. “It’s your ship and you’re the one who’s going to be living in it. You should fill it with what makes you happy and screw sophisticated Galactic beings.”
“I enjoy screwing sophisticated Galactic beings,” I leered, patting her bottom.
“Get off,” she said without heat. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I but I take your point. Next time I visit Earth I’ll stock up on lots of toys.” I managed to keep it casual.
“What’s table tennis?” Triss asked. Her expression and tone suggested she didn’t care what it was but wasn't happy with my open flirting with Lorca.
I tried to explain but without, I fear, much success. The idea that a game you played on a table could be physically competitive was too alien a concept for them.
The public rooms got more comment. I had forgotten completely about the dining room but Hermes hadn’t. It was fitted out like a ship’s mess with a large solid wooden table and a dozen chairs. The table even had a safety rail round it which, I found out later, was for decorative purposes only and folded neatly away when the table was in use. Around the edges were sideboards and dressers containing everything the well-appointed dining room could need; from side plates to salt cellars. The china was, in keeping with the nautical concept, all neatly stored in racks to keep it from being damaged in heavy seas. It probably wasn't china at all but it looked like it and each piece was decorated with seascapes from planets around the galaxy. It was quality work and I was very impressed.
The lounge met with mixed approval. Even though Flerrionna had suggested I keep my idea for the master suite, I had still wanted something that was inviting and luxurious and informal; somewhere you wanted to take off your shoes and lie back and relax. It did that for me. Lorca seemed amused by my obsession with wood panelling but did approve of the beautiful carpet for she immediately slipped off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the pile with a sigh of satisfaction. The others were also ambivalent, appreciating the luxury but not at all certain about the décor. I stuck my head round the door of one of the empty rooms to see the cats curled up on some cushions. I quietly closed the door and hustled everyone up to the bedrooms. The two that had been decorated were simple but classy. Lots of cream and soft colours and large beds and discreet lighting.
“Not very personal,” Lorca commented.
I shrugged. “When I know who’s going to occupy them, they can be redecorated.”
“Better than we’ve got just now,” Jarmasin said.
As the other rooms were empty except for Hermes suite, I ignored them and went up to the master suite. They were impressed with the space and luxury but, again, the wood amused them.
“Very masculine,” Lorca commented.
“I like it,” Lashak’ka said timidly.
“You do? Why?”
Lashak’ka blushed. “Because it’s masculine and it reminds me of the sea.”
“You live near the sea?” I asked.
She nodded. “Keshtak’kon, my home, is a seaport. The ships come from all parts of the world.”
“Why the sea in a spaceship?” Triss asked.
“Why not?” I said. “Sea ships and spaceships travel between inhabited places. Journeys are long and dangerous. There’s no-one to help you if you get into trouble. The sea is mysterious and temperamental and ever-changing. But it can be fun, too. Near the shore you can swim in it and sail on it and dive under its surface and explore the weird creatures that live there. Also, I like blue.”
“Good enough reasons,” Lorca said with a grin. “It’s not my favourite colour, though.”
Triss and Lashak’ka were looking thoughtful.
“Well, that’s the tour over,” I said. “Do you want to sort out your sleeping arrangements? My stomach tells me it’s dinner time so I’m going to find Hermes and see what’s going on.”
The girls collected their bags and went up to the bedrooms and I went to the command module. Hermes was sitting with his feet up on the control console and his hands behind his head.
“Hard work being a space pilot,” I said.
“You wouldn’t believe,” he said with a laugh, sitting up and swinging round. “So what do your beauties think of your ship?”
“I don’t think they’re impressed. It’s only half finished and the décor is primitive.”
“Do you like it, though? That’s more important.”
I sighed. “I love the ship but an interior decorator I’m not. What do you think of it?”
He grinned. “It’s the best damned spaceship in the Galaxy. We’re going to have fun with it. Do you realise we’ll be at the F-point in…” he glanced at the console, “…about four hours? Five hours in total. We took nearly twelve coming in.”
“Wow. That’s impressive.”
“It is. If the gain in sub-space is as impressive, and the ibic, er, Julian assures me it is, we’ll be in your system in a day and a half.”
“Now I’m really impressed. Talking of that, I need to tell the girls they’ve been kidnapped soon.”
“Wait until we’re in sub-space. No turning back then.”
“How do you think they’ll react?”
He shrugged. “How should I know? That’s your problem.”
“Thanks a bunch. Hey, what happened to the expert Zofi-Brennan were supposed to send with us?”
“I dissuaded him. Told him the eccentric owner wanted a jaunt in his new toy and we’d do the proving run later.”
“Sneaky.”
“I thought so.”
“What about food?”
“There’s no fresh food but it’s an impressive kitchen. It can be programmed for different metabolisms.”
“Yours could, too.”
“Yes but mine had to be set in advance. You can change yours at any time.”
“Is that due to advances in kitchens or ibics?”
“Both.”
“So we won’t starve?”
He grinned. “We’ve two year’s supplies.”
“Wow. How did you manage that?”
“Oh, I did a bit of wheeling and dealing.”
“Anything else I should know about?”
“Yes, but I’ll tell you later. Do you think you could persuade one of your lady friends to cook?”
“I thought you just pushed buttons.”
“Yes, but all you get are standard dishes. There’s nothing like a woman’s touch in the kitchen.”
“You’d better not let them hear you say that. Come on, let’s see what we can do.”
The girls had beaten us, though, and were already in the kitchen exploring the facilities.
“Trust men to turn up once all the work’s done,” Jarmasin said.
“What work?”
“The hard work of choosing what to eat,” Lorca said. “Though we couldn’t choose for, er, Hermes.”
“What are you having?” Hermes asked.
“Prysung chowtan,” Jarmasin said.
“We don’t know either,” Lorca said. “Jarmasin tells me it’s spicy.”
“You’re all eating the same dish?” Hermes said.
“Well, not quite the same dish,” Lorca said with a smile. “But we’re all having this prysung chowtan.”
“Of course, I forgot.” He sighed. “I suppose I’ll get used to lonely meals.”
“You can’t eat it?”
“Metabolism’s too different. Oh, well… spicy…” He made his selection.
“Hey, we were here first,” Jarmasin protested.
>
“Doesn’t matter,” he grinned. “The kitchen can cope with up to ten different meals at once.”
“Julian,” I said.
“Yes, Sir MacAdam?”
“You didn’t tell it how to address you,” Hermes said.
“Oh. Julian, unless it’s a formal occasion, please call me Crawford.”
“Certainly, Crawford. You will advise me as to what constitutes a formal occasion?”
“Later. You know the MBCI of each of us? Could you find out if there are any foods we could all eat?”
“Certainly. How would you like the information presented?”
That had me stumped.
“How about a separate menu or colour coding?” Lorca said.
“Good idea,” I said. “Julian, could you do both, please. Indicate in some colour…”
“Not blue,” Triss said.
“… that is not blue, if a dish or whatever is suitable and make a separate menu, too.”
“Certainly. Would orange be suitable?”
“Any objections to orange?” I asked. There were none. “Orange is fine. Oh, and Julian, are you programmed to accept orders and requests from anyone?”
“I will accept requests from anyone and orders provided they do not contradict yours or Hermes’ or those of my manufacturer or would endanger life or my existence or…”
“Thank you, Julian. I get the drift.”
“Why did you ask that?” Triss said.
“It struck me as a bit silly if it would only accept instructions from me or Hermes. Then you’d all have to come and find one of us whenever you wanted something. And I’ve just thought of something else. The dining room’s upstairs. How do you get the food up to it?”
Hermes flung open a concealed door behind which was a small lift. He pulled on a rope and the lift rose slowly.
“A dumb waiter,” I exclaimed. “How ingenious. But why the ropes?”
“Does anyone know?” There was a shaking of heads. “Okay, I’ll tell you as we eat. I’m hungry.”
“I’ll go and set the table,” I volunteered.
“I’ll help,” Lorca said.
We trotted up the stairs and laid out six place settings.
“I can see why they suggested servants,” I said. “All this running up and down stairs could get tiring.”
Lorca grinned. “And you, being a billionaire, can afford dozens of servants.”
“I don’t know about that. Servants demand wages, don’t they?”
“Normally, yes.”
“Being a Scot, I don’t like parting with money.”
“I won’t ask.” A light on the wall started flashing. “That’ll be the food. Look, before everyone arrives, can I talk to you privately later?”
“Yes, of course.” I was surprised.
We had the food on the table as the other arrived.
“You’ll need to hire servants,” Jarmasin said.
“He says he’s a Scot and, therefore, doesn’t like spending money,” Lorca said. “No, I don’t know what he means unless whatever a Scot is is mean.”
“She’s a bright girl,” I remarked to Hermes.
“I don’t know what a Scot is, either.”
“Yes you do. You confirmed my address, remember?”
“Oh, yes. You tried to mislead me, as I recall.”
“That’s not how I remember it. But never mind that. What was my address?”
“You expect me to remember that?”
I sighed. “Okay. I live in Scotland. The land of the Scots. A person who was born in Scotland is Scottish or a Scot… or even Scotch. Scots are reputed to be mean. This is, of course, a calumny perpetrated by out nearest neighbour and long-time enemy, England. We like to think of ourselves as canny and prudent.”
“I think that comes under the heading ‘too much information’,” Lorca said.
“Agreed,” Hermes said. “But believe me it gets worse. Earth politics give me a headache.”
“You were going to tell us about that lift thing,” Triss said.
“So I was. Have you noticed there are no mechanical devices on a spaceship?”
“I did wonder why you had stairs and not lifts or escalators,” I said. “But, otherwise, no.”
Hermes nodded. “Well there are very few and they’re generally very simple like the dumb waiter or the exercise equipment. The reason for that is that complex mechanical devices tend to mysteriously fail after exposure to sub-space. No-one knows why, although there are lots of theories, but it’s a fact.”
“Oh dear. Bang goes my idea for entertainment,” I said.
“Why?”
“I was going to get a music centre. It uses laser technology to read a spinning disk. The mechanism’s quite complicated.”
“So long as you don’t use it in sub-space it should be okay,” Hermes said. “It’s only operating equipment that’s affected.”
“Well, that’s something, I suppose.”
“Can’t the ibic store stuff like music?” Lorca said.
“It can and it does. I have all mine transferred from my old ibic,” Hermes said.
“But how would you transfer stuff from a primitive technology like mine,” I said.
“I’ve no idea. Perhaps Julian would know.”
“But it hasn’t been anywhere near Earth.”
“No, but I transferred everything from my ibic to it… including everything I’d found out about your planet.”
“Oh. Well, it doesn’t matter for the moment.” I decided to change the subject. “This is delicious, Jarmasin, though very hot.”
“I’m glad you like it. We’re fond of spicy food.”
Lorca and Lashak’ka both said it was delicious but Triss said it wasn't to her taste. Lorca gave her an unfathomable look. Jarmasin volunteered to fetch drinks. She and Lorca wanted coffee, the same as me. I mentally added a percolator to my shopping list. We sat around and chatted. Despite the formality of the room, the chairs were remarkably comfortable and nobody seemed inclined to move. There were still a couple of hours to go before we entered sub-space and I could make my announcement, and I wanted to keep everyone together. Moreover, it was the first time I’d been able to talk to my ‘partners’ in a relaxing environment. I encouraged them to talk about themselves, starting with Lashak’ka.
As she’d said she lived on the outskirts of a port where vast sea barges came and went. Her planet had a moon but it was much smaller than my moon so the tides were more benign. Her planet didn’t have any huge continents like Earth or Geretimal so sea travel was obligatory. The island continent on which she lived was in the temperate zone and was mostly flat so it was the bread-basket of the world. Barges laden with grain would leave and return with manufactured goods and exotic food. As a girl she had spent hours sitting on the cliff near her home, watching the huge ships come and go and dreaming about travelling to distant places.
“You can’t get more distant than Geretimal,” Lorca said with a grin.
“It wasn't really what I had in mind,” Lashak’ka said and blushed.
“I know what you mean,” Triss said. “I used to climb the mountains and look out over the valleys and imagine I was queen of the world. You have silly dreams when you’re young.”
“Is your planet all mountainous or just where you live?” I asked.
“My part of the world is. There are four continents. The biggest one is centred on the North Pole. There are two others on the equator, one large and one small. The smaller one is connected to a larger one in the southern hemisphere and there’s another small one at the South Pole. The equatorial ones are relatively flat but my continent has very high mountains. A lot of it should be too cold to be habitable but there’s a warm current that comes up from the south and makes the climate milder.”
“It sounds a spectacular place.”
“It is. It’s beautiful. The mountains stretch up to the sky. The peaks are always white and, in the morning and evening, they catch the sunlight and glow r
ed and gold and yellow even though it’s night time down in the valleys. On the lower slopes the trees grow thick and tall. The light is always dim, but it glows with a green tint. It’s quiet, too, except for the sounds of the animals and birds and insects.”
“Wow. I’d like to visit it,” Lorca said.
Jarmasin shivered. “Sounds too cold for me.”
I already knew she came from a dry place but now I discovered her world had only one very large continent, and one very large ocean with a number of archipelagos. The continent was hot and wet at the equator. To the north and south the land rose. In the south, where she lived, it spread out into a series of vast plains upon which vegetation was sparse, except around the numerous shallow lakes and inland seas. Her ancestors had been nomadic, the competition for resources being fierce at the fertile margins. Primitive hunters with flocks of vulnerable grazing animals were no match for the several species of ferocious and ravenous predators that stalked the forests so they stayed away. It was only with the advent of technology that they were able to colonise the lake and sea sides.
Lorca, although encouraging the others to describe their lands, declined to talk about hers. Instead, she insisted I describe the Earth. Earth is a very complicated planet to describe. Other than the four major land masses and Australia, there are so many nooks and crannies like Indonesia and India and Western Europe with its odd bits sticking out. Still, I did my best to keep it simple. While I was speaking I was acutely conscious that they would actually be seeing it soon although I couldn’t tell them that.
“Captain to the bridge. Captain to the bridge,” Julian’s voice said.
Hermes started, then looked embarrassed. “Excuse me. That’s for me.”
I burst out laughing which made him blush. I’d never seem him fazed about anything so this was a rare treat.
“Hermes, you’re an old rogue,” I chortled.
“Yes. Sorry. I meant to change it.”
“Don’t. You’ve just made my day.”
He hurried out. Then I had to try and explain to the ladies what was so funny about it. Lashak’ka, being familiar with ships, was the only one who understood the reference. None of them found it funny.
“I hope there’s not a problem,” Jarmasin said.
“Sir and Madams, we are about to enter sub-space,” Julian announced.
I Won A Spaceship Page 45