“What’s that?” Lorca’s quiet voice made me jump.
“The dawn chorus. All the birds wake up at dawn and sing.”
We stood and listened for a while.
“It’s quite something,” she said quietly.
“I suppose every planet has things that give it its unique ambience.”
“Yes.”
There was something in her voice that made me glance at her. She was looking at me with an enigmatic smile on her face.
“It’s chilly,” I said. “Let’s go inside.”
We sat in the steegee as the sun rose. It looked like it was going to be a nice day. The quarry was sheltered and quite warm but it was only May and the warmth was deceptive.
“Time to go,” I said, picking up my jacket.
“You’re taking a jacket?” Lorca said.
“This warmth is deceptive, believe me.”
Surprisingly it was Triss who was first to move. Without a word she collected her jacket and came to stand beside me. The others slowly followed suit.
We skirted the trees without incident. The ground was soft but otherwise okay. Beyond the trees, however, was what I had feared; an impenetrable mass of gorse.
“Should have brought a knife or hatchet,” I muttered to myself.
Triss silently produced a large kitchen knife.
I beamed at her. “I don’t suppose you have another?”
She grinned and produced a second. Between us we managed to hack a sort of path through the gorse. We were as careful as possible but still received several large scratches. Behind us we could hear the mutterings and exclamations as the gorse prickles caught clothing and tender skin.
Beyond the gorse was an open patch. Triss was all for charging straight across but I put a hand on her arm.
“See these tall spiky stems with the brown bits near the top? They’re reeds. That’s a bog. We’ll go round the edge.”
We skirted the patch of bog. Even my trainer-clad feet were damp by the time we reached the other side.
“Not far now, girls. Just through these trees.”
At some time there had been a path. It was overgrown and barely visible but we took it anyway. Triss and I watched for brambles and hacked at the worst of them. We were almost through when Jarmasin let out a loud cry. When I turned, she was hopping around clawing at her calf. Nettles. I found some dock leaves and rubbed the affected area.
“Thanks,” she said. “What attacked me?”
“Nettles. The dock leaves are a sort of natural balm.”
“Why are they like that?”
“I dunno. To stop animals eating them, I suppose. You must have dangerous plants on your world.”
“Yes, but not ones that lurk in the shadows and leap out and attack you.”
I laughed. “They’re just nettles.”
We emerged from the wood, jumped a small stream and clambered over a dilapidated dry stone wall. The road was little more than a track. It had been paved at one time, but now it was full of potholes and weeds grew in profusion through the cracked tarmac. I glanced at my watch. It was a little after seven and there was no sign of Fiona. We walked up the track in the direction she would come from. Out of the shelter of the trees, the wind made its presence felt and I slipped on my jacket. I noticed the others hurriedly doing the same. We walked for nearly ten minutes until we came to a gate.
“We’ll stop here so Fiona can turn round.”
It was another ten minutes before her car appeared bumping slowly down the track. I asked the girls to hide until I’d had a chance to talk to her.
“Sorry. I got lost,” she said as she climbed out.
Then we were in each other’s arms, hugging and crying and pounding each other on the back.
“God, it’s good to see you,” she said. “I’ve been worried.”
“It’s good to see you, too. There were times when I wondered if I ever would again.”
“Tough time, huh?”
“It had its moments.”
“Well, you’re here now. Come on, let’s go. You can tell me all about it when we get home.”
“Er, a moment. I’m not alone. Ladies.”
The girls emerged from their hiding place. The look on Fiona’s face was priceless. Her jaw dropped, her eyes bulged.
“Who…? What…? Where…?” she gasped, her finger vaguely waving in their direction.
“Allow me to introduce my companions; Lorca Lhewlyn Dibhach, Jarmasin Yongsam, Trissity Hunter and Lashak’ka Ka Dak’kassia. Ladies, this is my sister, Fiona Black.”
“I need to sit down.”
She perched on the bonnet of her car and put her face in her hands.
“I… I don’t understand,” she wailed.
“Fiona,” I said gently. She looked up. “Remember, before I left, you asked if I was going to the Antarctic and I said it was much further away? Well…” I raised my eyes to the heavens.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “I don’t believe it. Tell me it isn’t true.”
“It’s true.”
She stared at me then at the girls who were watching closely. She took a deep breath and pulled herself together visibly.
“Well, I can’t deny the evidence of my eyes.” She gave a shaky laugh. “I suppose we’d better get going. A deserted track in the middle of nowhere is hardly the place for an interstellar conference. Where are the cats?” Lorca produced the basket. “They certainly don’t look well.”
We piled into the car. I sat in the front with the cat basket on my lap and Jarmasin sat on Lorca’s knee.
“I hope we’re not stopped,” Fiona said.
“We’d have a bit of explaining to do,” I agreed.
We weren't stopped. We managed to scramble out of the car and into the house without being seen. We parked ourselves in the sitting room while Fiona made some coffee. The girls looked round with interest, though they didn’t seem very comfortable. Hardly surprising as they were in an alien’s house.
“I can see why you designed your ship the way you did,” Lorca commented.
I shrugged. “It’s familiar and comfortable.”
“To you, perhaps.”
“I like it,” Lashak’ka said. “It reminds me of my grandmother’s house.”
“Everyone has their own idea of what’s comfortable,” I said.
“I know. I wasn't complaining,” Lorca said.
Fiona came in with the coffee.
“Before you tell me your story I need to call in to work,” she said.
She fished out her mobile, dialled a number and left a message saying she wouldn’t be in because of a ‘family emergency’. The girls, except Lorca who looked amused, watched in amazement.
“I think Hermes said something about Earth being like Geretimal but more primitive,” I said quietly.
“Right,” Fiona said. “Let’s have it all from the beginning.”
I grinned at her. “The short version is that I won the Lottery, I’m a billionaire and I own the best spaceship in the galaxy.”
“Pull the other one.”
“It’s true.”
I gave her an abbreviated version of my tale, including my running battle with the Lottery Commission but omitting the breeding programme.
“That,” she said when I finished, “is the most unbelievable tale I’ve heard in a long time. If it were anyone else I’d call them a complete liar, but you haven’t got the imagination to make up something as fantastic as that. That and these four exotic women, whose presence you haven’t yet explained, by the way. Against my better judgement I’m forced to believe you’re telling the truth.”
Lorca laughed. “Even if you two didn’t look alike, I could still tell you were related. Your minds work exactly the same way.”
Fiona spluttered indignantly and I shook my head.
“No they don’t. I’m much more logical.”
The girls laughed at Fiona’s outraged expression.
“Let me make sure I’ve got this str
aight,” she said. “An alien wheechs you off half way across the universe because you’ve won some lottery you never knew existed. You uncover a den of corruption, are almost killed, then run away because Ziggy and Stardust are sick. Why are they sick?”
“I think because I forgot to take cat food with me and they’ve been living on reconstituted meat. I think they’re suffering from vitamin deficiency or something.”
“Crawford MacAdam, I am ashamed of you. You drag these poor wee beasts half way across the galaxy and starve them to death. I knew you were stupid but I didn’t think you were a heartless moron. How could you? I’m appalled at you. I should refuse to help you. Poor wee animals.”
“Fiona, you can’t make me feel any worse than I already do. Do you think I don’t feel guilty about it? I’ve kicked myself hundreds of times. Why do you think I abandoned my obligations and came home?”
“Aye, well…”
The girls, Triss in particular, had watched this interchange with growing astonishment.
“Excuse me, but is this excessive affection for small furry animals a human trait?”
“What did she say?” Fiona demanded.
“She asked if, and I quote, excessive affection for small furry animals was a human trait. The answer is yes.”
“No, it’s not,” Fiona said.
“Well, it is a trait of humans but not all humans have it,” I explained to Triss then, to Fiona, “It seems that cats are unique in the galaxy. Most species have domesticated animals and some keep pets but don’t have the attachment to them that we feel.”
“I suppose that makes sense,” Fiona said. “Now, why are you accompanied by four exotic and extremely beautiful women.”
I looked at the floor in embarrassment.
Lorca laughed. “We’re part of his prize.”
“What? Now I know it’s a fairy tale.”
Lorca explained about the breeding programme. My face was flaming.
“Twenty three?” Fiona guffawed. “Dearie me, that takes the biscuit. No wonder you’re embarrassed. You’ve never been able to keep even one happy before.”
Triss was fidgeting and looking daggers at Fiona.
Lorca grinned. “I can assure you Crawford is quite accomplished in keeping us happy.”
Fiona’s grin was so wide, it threatened to split her face in two. “Imagine that. Wee Crawford with twenty three women. And happy women, what’s more.”
“I’ve only had seven so far,” I said defensively. Fiona was always teasing me about my love life.
She collapsed into laughter. “Well, I suppose it’s no more unbelievable than the rest of your story.” She mastered herself and straightened. “Right, what do you need me to do?”
Jarmasin leapt up and hugged her.
“Thank you for helping us,” she said.
“What did she say?” Fiona asked.
“She said, ‘thank you for helping us’,” I said.
I was puzzled. Why had Fiona not understood her? She’d understood Lorca.
“Say something,” I said to Lashak’ka and Triss.
“What?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anything.”
“I think you should show more respect to Crawford even if he is your brother,” Triss said.
The other three laughed in an embarrassed way but Fiona just looked puzzled. I was a bit cross with Triss as it wasn't a very polite thing to say but it served to prove my theory.
“Did you understand that?” I asked Fiona.
“No. It sounded like no language I’ve ever heard.”
I nodded. “I’m going to ask Lorca to say something. Watch her lips carefully.”
“I love Crawford and I want to bear his children.”
The silence was deafening. Everyone just sat with open mouths and stared. I was the first to recover.
“Thank you, Lorca. Did you notice anything, Fiona?”
“What?” Fiona seemed to shake herself. “Didn’t you hear what she said?”
I gave a wry grin. “I heard. I’m afraid she has a rather twisted sense of humour.” Fiona looked like she was going to explode. “Look, Fiona, Lorca can’t bear my children. We’re not genetically compatible.” I took a deep breath. “This is getting us nowhere. Triss, Jarmasin, Lashak’ka; Fiona can’t understand you because she doesn't have a translator and yours aren’t the kind that can speak.”
“No translator?” Jarmasin said.
“No,” I said shortly. “We haven’t invented them yet. Now, can we move on, please? If you want to say something to Fiona, Lorca or I will have to translate.”
Fiona had her stubborn look. “What’s a translator?”
“It’s a device that translates any known language into any other. Some, Lorca’s and mine, can also speak. It’s embedded behind my ear.”
Fiona is shaking her head. “This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.”
“Fee, I know. I was almost a gibbering wreck for a while. Just accept it and move on. If you try to understand everything you’ll drive yourself mad.”
“Do you understand it?”
“Not a bit. Look, I watch TV, but I don’t have the faintest idea how it works. I use electricity, but I’ve no idea how it’s produced. It’s the same with translators and spaceships and ibics and everything. They’re just technology. You use them. You don’t need to know how they work.”
Everyone was nodding. “I thought it was just me,” Jarmasin said. “I’d never seen half the things I’ve seen on Geretimal before. I felt like a stupid country girl. Everyone else seemed so clever and sophisticated, so I just kept quiet and tried to pick it up as I went along.”
Lorca translated.
“You too?” Lashak’ka cried. “What a relief.”
“I was the same,” Triss said quietly.
“Good. We’ve established that, apart from Lorca, we’re all bumpkins from the back-of-beyond. It hasn’t stopped any of us so far, so why should it make a difference now?”
“Well said,” Lorca said.
“We’re here for a purpose… well I am anyway. I need to get the cats to the vet. It isn’t the girls’ fault they’re here, so they deserve something for having to drag along with me. I was thinking about showing them the sights while I wait for the vet.”
“Hmm,” Fiona said, eyeing the girls thoughtfully. “You can’t go out dressed like that… and that hair…” she meant Lorca’s, “…will have to go, lovely as it is.”
“You’re not cutting my hair,” Lorca exclaimed.
“I don’t mean cut it but we’ll have to change the colour. I think I’ve got some dark colouring left. As for clothes…” she eyed me speculatively, “…I’m sure Mr billionaire can spare us a bob or two.”
Jarmasin giggled. “Hermes says he’s a mean Scot who refuses to pay for anything.”
“Hermes also has a twisted sense of humour,” I sniffed.
“Hermes?” Fiona said.
“My pilot. He’s with the ship in orbit around Saturn.”
Fiona went white and fainted. I managed to catch her before she fell off the sofa and was about to lay her on it when Triss intervened.
“No, no. Don’t you know anything? On the floor on her side.”
She calmly arranged Fiona in the recovery position and stuck her fingers into her mouth to make she wouldn’t swallow her tongue.
“Fetch me a damp cloth,” she commanded.
I soaked a tea towel under the kitchen tap. By the time I returned, Triss had removed Fiona’s shoes and was puzzling over her bra.
“Thanks, Triss,” I said, handing her the cloth.
She flashed me a quick smile. “What is she wearing beneath her blouse?”
“A bra. It supports the breasts.”
“I should take it off. It must be constricting.”
“I don’t think she’d be too happy to find herself half naked when she comes round. Unless it’s medically necessary, I’d leave it.”
She nodded, bathing Fiona’s face and neck so
licitously. I had a thought and fetched a glass of water. Fiona groaned. Her eyes flickered open. She struggled to sit up but Triss restrained her.
“Wait for a moment until the dizziness passes.”
Lorca translated. Fiona closed her eyes and took several deep breaths.
“I’m okay, now.”
Triss and Lorca helped her up and I handed her the water.
“What happened?” she asked.
“You fainted,” I said. “Probably too many shocks.”
She shivered. “You’re right there.” She gave a shaky laugh. “When you disappeared I was worried. You’re not the impulsive type. Now I see why.”
“Opportunity of a lifetime,” I said with a grin. “I’ll make some tea.”
Lorca came with me. She was interested in everything.
“Probably very primitive compared with what you’re used to,” I said.
“It’s not. I’m actually surprised how advance your technology is. Many species, even some in the Theocracy, aren’t as advanced as you.”
I looked at her askance. “You are a surprising woman in more ways than one,” I said. “I have this feeling there’s a lot more to you than you let on and I’m going to be fascinated to heart your story.”
She smiled enigmatically. “The kettle’s boiling.”
While we were sipping our tea, I pulled out my communicator and contacted Hermes to ask him if I had any money.
“I knew you’d get round to asking eventually,” he chortled. “You have.”
“Can Julian work his magic and get some of it transferred to my account? Better, to Fiona’s account?”
“Speak to Julian direct.”
“I can do that?”
“Of course.”
He gave me the code and I was talking to Julian. He assured me he could transfer money if I gave him the bank details. Fiona fished her cheque book out and I relayed the details.
“How much do you want?” I asked her.
“A thousand?”
“Is that enough. There’s five of you, remember.”
“Five? Oh, Crawford. Two then.”
I Won A Spaceship Page 52