by J. L. Drake
I never used his bath before, but it looked inviting, so I ran the water and stripped off my clothes. I almost giggled when I found bubble soap under the sink. I decided I wouldn’t go there, then I helped myself to some.
I eased into the hot water and tuned in to the soothing sounds around me. Rain pelted off the window, and I stared at the glass as the wind drove the drops in random patterns on the panes. Even the weather matched my mood. Cold, dark, and chaotic.
My eyelids grew heavy from my pounding head, so I let them lower and rest. I must have passed out for a bit because when I opened them, I was surrounded by candles and a glass of red wine.
“Trigger?” I whispered, hoping to hell it was him and not Brick.
He appeared in the doorway in only his jeans.
“Did you do this for me?”
He nodded, and his hair flopped forward in a sweet, messy way.
“Thank you.” I felt the pesky tears brew in my lower lids.
“I do listen.” His voice was low. “I may not be good at it, but I hear you.”
My lips turned up, but my burning eyes held the truth. I was hurting from a very old wound.
“It’s a big tub.” I tried to focus on something else.
He smirked. “Never sat in one before. You enjoy it.”
“You just ruined this for me.”
“Why?”
“You had this bubble bath under your sink. Am I to assume you had other women in here?”
He sat on the bench next to the shower. His muscles looked even sexier against the flickering flames that highlighted his lean, toned body and cast yummy shadows in all the right places.
“Fin likes to pretend he’s a shark.” He shrugged, but I noticed his eyes crinkled when he spoke about his nephew. He cared about both the boys, although he pretended he didn’t. They were part of his family. I understood that, and they really were pretty sweet when you considered the life they were being brought up in. “I never let anyone in here but me, and, well, maybe the kid.”
“What makes me different?”
His lips sucked inward as he thought. “I’ll make you a deal. You answer a question for me, and I’ll answer one for you.”
“No vetoes,” I added. For once, I wanted some answers, and I was ready to share some truths.
“All right.” He waited for me to start. “You don’t want to go first?”
“Truthfully, you need to hear about my past in order to answer the question I’m going to ask.”
He flipped his hair out of his eyes before he pulled a joint free from his pocket. “What’s on file thirty-three?”
“It’s my biggest regret.” I pushed the bubbles around, unable to look at him. “My mother faked a pregnancy to trap Clark into rushing the wedding date. Everyone thinks I cut myself because of their wedding, but it was really because they would be forever tied together. I knew that baby would be loved the way I never was. Selfish, I know, but I was eleven and mentally warped.” I wiped a tear that rested on my cheek. “When I was twenty-six, I had been living on the streets with Brick for some time. One night, he met a girl and left me to go spend the night with her in a motel. I ran into a pack of guys who were always causing trouble, and they tried to attack me. Before I knew what I was doing, I raced back to the house, which I said I would never do, and that night, I ended up in bed with Clark.”
I tried to speed past the dirty details. I didn’t need to make this any worse than it was. “I took off again the very next morning and met up with Brick, but I couldn’t bear to confess what I had done. I couldn’t admit to him that I had gone to see Clark after I got away from those guys. Brick would never forgive himself.” I let out a long sigh, trying to gather enough strength to go on. “Three weeks later, I knew something was off with me. It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened. I was so ashamed.” The tears fell harder. “Brick risked so much for me to stay away from that house, and the one time he left me alone, I got into trouble and ran back there. I couldn’t face him. He would never have understood. I don’t deserve his forgiveness. So,” I sniffed, “I packed my shit and went back to the house. Left him a note saying where I went and that I needed to work some stuff out. I left him all the money I had on me and thought I could live without my best friend.”
Trigger’s phone rang, but he turned it off and tossed it on the counter. He waited for me to continue.
“My mother was livid and tried to figure out why I’d come home. One night, she overheard me crying to Venna about how awful I felt.” My voice trailed off, nervous of his reaction. “I was about a month pregnant and terrified.” I glanced up, only to find his face like stone. “I didn’t want children. I knew I’d be a horrible mother. What kind of role model would I be, sleeping with my stepfather?” I stopped to let the hurt rip across my chest.
“My mother grabbed my hair, dragged me upstairs to Clark’s office, and shoved me to my knees. She screamed at him, called me a whore, and all Clark did was stare at me. He never protected me. He just looked at me like I was someone else, not someone he had made love to a few weeks before.” Heavy, hot tears raced down my face, running away from me like everyone else in my life.
I shook off my emotions and pushed on. “A few nights later, three men who worked at the house woke me up and forced me downstairs into one of the back rooms.” I swallowed hard, as the next part was a haunting blur of pain. “Venna said they could hear me screaming for hours. She tried to help, but they had the room guarded. Clark paced the room but didn’t even try to intervene.” Trigger’s throat contracted, but the rest of him was still.
“I couldn’t believe what they were doing to me, my own mother and the man I thought loved me. They stood there and watched while I was held down and my baby ripped out of me by some cold-faced stranger. They killed my child. Whether I wanted it or not, they took a life. I checked out, and it took me a long time to find the will to even bother to leave that place. I fell into a bad crowd. Sex and alcohol were all I cared about for four years. Funny how quickly time passed when you’ve been stuck between two lives.” I took a moment to remember. “It felt good, helped me cope. That was where I learned how to turn it off. Just stop caring. I guess we all have a switch somewhere.” I shrugged. “I just didn’t give a damn what happened to me. Until one day I reached out to the only person who had ever loved me.”
“Tess,” Trigger started, but I wasn’t done.
“The number that keeps calling me is my doctor. I had some liquid courage tonight and finally called her back. I saw her when I was at the house for the pain in my side. The Serpents really did a number on my stomach. It really took a long time to heal. Turns out my doctor had more great news. What happened to me at the house years ago…well, that rent-a-doctor didn’t do the procedure right and did a lot of damage. Since I never dealt with the old injury, my new one flared up the scarring, and…I guess my loving mother took yet another thing from me.”
I laughed darkly and dried my cheeks. I was a mess, but at least he now knew the whole truth.
“Tess—”
“I’m fine, Trigger, really. I just wanted you to know, so you can decide what to do.”
He huffed loudly. “Do with what?”
“With me. I can leave tonight if Clark is really coming. You don’t need this shit right—”
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“Trigger—”
“That’s three times now, Tess. You interrupt me again, and I’ll tie you up and gag you myself to make you listen.”
The anger in his voice shook me to the core, but it also awakened a foreign feeling. He still cared. I wasn’t expecting that.
“I don’t want kids. Never have. I’m sorry you went through that, but fuck me, I’m damn happy you never had his kid. As for your mother, I will deal with her myself. If Clark shows…I hope he does because I can’t wait to give him the full clubhouse tour.”
Ah, yes, the slaughter room.
“As for you,” he twisted to si
t on the side of the tub, his eyes dark in the dim light, “you’re not going anywhere. I can’t protect you if you run off again.” His finger curled around a fallen strand of hair that was stuck to my chest. He peeled it free, running the back of his finger down my hot skin.
“I don’t want to be a problem.”
His hand disappeared into the water and gently urged my legs open. He found my opening and circled my clit. My stomach tightened as I bowed upward and tried to direct them inside.
My eyes closed when the delicious warmth tingled up my skin, preparing me for what was to come. I snapped my hand around his wrist and pushed him to where I needed it.
He suddenly stood, leaving my feverish body to fend for itself. He kicked off his pants and briefs and stepped into the tub in front of me. I grabbed his hips and swallowed his erection before he could stop me.
“Jesus, Tess!” My name vibrated from deep inside his throat, and he grabbed a handful of hair and held me in place as he set the pace. His tip rolled over my taste buds, so I curled my tongue to cup and caress the velvet slit.
I took him deeper, and he hissed loudly.
“Enough.” He pulled out and eased me backward into the water. He hovered over me, legs on either side of mine, and pinched my nipples. His expression was one I hadn’t seen before, like he was contemplating something. His brows drew together, and his eyes widened. Before I discovered what it was, he broke his hold on me.
“Turn over,” he commanded. I wasted no time and flipped around. He took hold of my waist and pulled me onto his lap as he sat on his knees. “Lift.” His voice was tight. “Now down.” He slammed up as I dropped down.
I screamed at the sudden fullness. He hit the end of me with a force that took my words away.
“Again.” He nipped at my neck, and I obeyed.
And again, I rose, completely at his mercy. His hands started to roam as I repeated the action. The water splashed onto the floor with each thrust. I’d never had sex in a tub before, and as awkward as it seemed, Trigger made it easy. Maybe because the space was so large, or because it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I needed so much to feel something other than shame and disappointment.
“Stop.” He turned my chin to look at him. “When you’re with me, you’re with me. Nowhere else. Ever.”
I nodded and tried to let the ugly thoughts go. Easier said than done, and I knew he felt my struggle.
When I rose to slam back down, he pushed me to my knees and placed my hands on the side of the tub. He slid in fast and took me from behind. I could barely think at the pace. My vision blurred, and I struggled to catch my breath. He slapped my ass and pulled my attention back to him.
“Give it to me!” He was close to losing it. “Now!”
I leaped off the edge and burst into a hundred million pieces. Colors of every shade sparkled behind my eyelids and pricked at my sensitive skin. My heartbeat strummed a wicked melody as I floated back to reality. Sex with Trigger was like unwrapping a present. The outcome was always wanted, but it was seriously unpredictable.
He nibbled my neck to see if I was back with him.
“Mmm,” I moaned because it was all I had in me.
“I will kill anyone who touches you.”
***
Trigger
I couldn’t stop touching her. Her skin was like silk, and each time I inhaled her scent, she calmed the raging storm inside my head. It wasn’t lost on me that I was becoming addicted to Tess. So much of me wanted to push her away, send her back to Clark. Go back to my familiar hell. But the other part told me I deserved her. I’d put in my time to the reaper. I did his dirty work, and I had the savages in their cages to remind me that I wasn’t free.
My father popped into my head, and I flinched at his image. I’d need to start training soon. I knew I had this, but I needed my head in the game.
I reached for my phone and sent a text.
Trigger: Call me.
It rang three seconds later.
“Been awhile,” I whispered as I rose off the bed and moved out to the hallway.
“Am I to assume you contacted me because you’re heading back into the ring?”
I waited for the door to click shut behind me before I answered him.
“Yeah.”
Langley paused, and I knew what was rolling through his mind.
“Spare me the whole ‘you go to the dark side in the ring,’ Lang.” I pushed my anger aside. “I need your help.”
“I’ve taught you everything you need to know. Not sure why you’d call on me now.”
I rubbed my head and thought about getting a drink, but my liver needed the break, and my body needed to be in the best shape it could be.
“What’s really going on?”
I licked my lips. “My father is back.”
“Impossible.”
“I would say the same thing if I hadn’t seen him myself.”
Langley let out a puff of air, and I heard a chair scrape along the floor.
“But you—”
“I know. I’m out of ideas on that score. I know I have a mole. I’m just not sure how long he’s been around or who the fuck he is. He’s tied to my father, I know that much, and they screwed with my drug route and killed some of my men. Now he’s got…” I glanced at the bedroom door and pictured Tess so small in my bed.
“Got what?”
“He’s got leverage over me.”
“What, a video or something?”
“Something,” I repeated, unsure how to describe Tess.
“Oh,” he chuckled, “well, now I really need to come.”
I closed my eyes and wished to hell people would stop making comments about the situation. They all saw something that wasn’t there. I cared for Tess, I needed her, but I wasn’t in love with her. That was something I simply wasn’t capable of. Neither was she.
“You got room for me there? I don’t do motels.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be there tonight.”
“Morgan will be here. I have something to handle tonight.”
“See you soon, son.”
I lowered the phone and watched as the call disconnected. No turning back now.
Tess worked the bar with Peggy in the morning. Morgan had to help Cooper with a family problem. Peggy was a raging bitch, but Tess ignored her and did her own thing.
Rail and Brick worked out the details for the fight in my office away from anyone who might want to listen.
Jace hovered around the bar, trying not to trip over Maze’s cousin, who came by to collect his shit. She was a cute little one but was barely twenty-two and clearly had hang-ups of her own.
Cray: Last shipment has been collected. You are no longer walking with the white witch.
Trigger: Now I walk with the monsters.
Cray: Not that long now, my friend.
My head pounded. I was about to signal Tess when she appeared at my table with a double whiskey. She set it in front of me then stepped up and ran her hands through my long hair. I hooked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She studied my face, and her hands slid down and ran along my brow to my temples.
“Do you always carry such heavy shadows with you?”
“I could ask you the same.”
The corner of her mouth twitched before it faded away.
“I guess it makes it easier to spot them, then.” She touched her lips to mine then sighed. “You can talk to me, you know. I know I’m not one of the guys, but—”
“No, you’re not.” I forced a smile, but I knew she saw through it.
“Okay.” She tried to step back, but I locked my arms.
“We have plans tonight.”
“We do?” She looked confused, then her face fell. “What kind of plans? I will not hide out, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“As tempting as that sounds, no, you have been requested at my meeting tonight.”
“With who?”
I grinned at her sudden
interest. She made the little things fun again.
There was a loud crash, and I jumped to my feet and shoved Tess behind my back.
“Slippery little fuckers!” Peggy cursed at the pile of glass in front of her.
“Karma’s a bitch when you’re a bitch,” Gus muttered at his empty glass, which made Tess laugh, and Peggy glared at her.
“You gonna just watch me or actually be useful around here?” She raised an eyebrow at Tess.
“I just figured you spend so much time on your knees it would be like you were home down there.”
“Screw you, bitch!”
“Not if you paid me.”
Peggy picked up a bottle of vodka by the neck like she was going to throw it.
“Peggy!” I barked as Gus began to get up. “Get this shit cleaned up and get the fuck out.”
Her hands went to her hips. “You’re seriously pussy whipped, Trigger.”
“Enough!” I felt my switch tremble. “I don’t need this shit right now.”
Tess ran her hand up my back, and I swung around to grab it. I held it tightly in mine, wanting to crush the bones, but my head stopped me.
I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed it. The urge to hurt someone was right below the surface. As much as Tess calmed me, I couldn’t always control my temper. Yet another reason we shouldn’t be together.
“When should I be ready?” Her voice was low. I wondered if I scared her.
Fuck.
“Eight.” She looked about to leave as I hooked her waist and pulled her to my chest. I leaned down and whispered a warning in her ear. “Don’t wear anything sexy.”
Her devilish stare made me hard. I slapped her ass as she sauntered away.
I scanned the room and spotted Rail. “Rail, suit up.”
His eyes widened, and he cursed. “Why me?”
Three hours in the ring with Rail, and he was done. He heaved over the ropes to catch his breath and held his side in pain.
I was jacked up on adrenaline. My body had at least five more hours left in it, and all I could get Rail to do was stand there while I did circles.
“Come on, Uncle Trig. Nail him in the sack!” Fin squealed from the corner of the room.