The Cowboy's Family Christmas

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Leanne closed the door of the tack shed and arched her back, her eyes closed.

  “You look beat,” Reuben said, feeling a touch of concern.

  “Just another day in paradise,” she quipped. Then she walked over to a bale of hay and was about to fork some to the horses when Reuben stopped her. “I’ll take care of that.”

  She nodded her thanks, then without another word to him walked toward where George and Chad stood. Reuben stabbed the fork into the hay bale, fighting his annoyance with her attitude. As if she had any right to be so cool with him.

  Chad was cleaning up the syringes and George looked up when he joined them. “Good work” was all he said, but coming from George, that was high praise. Then he turned to Leanne. “Is Austin in the house?”

  “Shauntelle texted me a few minutes ago. She just put him to bed but she brought supper. She’s waiting at the house until I can leave.”

  “You go then, Leanne. We’ll be right here,” George said, then he glanced over at Reuben. “You should join us for supper. I’m sure Shauntelle made enough.”

  He heard Leanne’s swift intake of breath but he didn’t bother looking her way, sensing he would see the same anger he had when he first came. Her reaction made him want to turn down the invitation, but the fact that his father had asked was a small acknowledgment of Reuben’s presence. A few crumbs tossed his way from his dad.

  And right about now, he was ready to take something, anything, away from this visit. If it wasn’t from Leanne then it may as well be from his father.

  “Sure. That sounds good,” he said.

  “You can wash up in the house,” George said, then turned to Chad. “When you’re done here, you can go home.” Then George walked away, leaving Chad with syringes and empty bottles to clean up.

  “How long have you been working for my father?” Reuben asked Chad, who was gathering up the syringes and dumping them into a large plastic tub for cleaning.

  “Few days. Not long.”

  “You ever work on a ranch before?”

  Chad slowly shook his head, looking apprehensive. “No. But I need the work. Got a family to take care of.”

  “You ride at all?”

  “I’m willing to learn.”

  Reuben held the man’s eyes, sensing the desperation in them. He’d have to be at the end of his rope to want to put up with his father’s abuse for the sake of a job.

  However Reuben didn’t give the poor guy another week. Chad seemed like a decent fellow but he needed someone who was able to take the time to help him out and show him the ropes. George would never be that guy. Leanne might, but he guessed any extra time she might have was taken up with Austin.

  There was no way they could keep this ranch going.

  This isn’t your problem, he reminded himself. You’re on your way out of here. Stick to your plan.

  But as he walked back to the house, George and Leanne walking ahead of him, he couldn’t shake the idea that the Bar W’s time was done.

  George and Leanne really needed to sell the place.

  * * *

  “So this job of yours. What will you do?” George was asking Reuben.

  “I’ll be contracting for a large engineering firm,” Reuben replied, his voice even and measured in spite of the antagonism in George’s voice. “This job will get me opportunities all around the world.”

  Leanne concentrated on her food, exhaustion clawing at her. The day had been emotionally and physically taxing. Devin’s quitting had created a huge problem she wasn’t ready to deal with. And while Reuben’s help was appreciated, his presence wasn’t.

  She couldn’t deal with all this right now. She wanted nothing more than to retreat to her room, but she was determined not to let Reuben know how much he got to her.

  “I can see why you’d like that job. Moving around. Just like you’ve always lived,” George put in, annoyance edging his voice as he scooped up some of the casserole Shauntelle had dropped off.

  Leanne had never been so happy to see her friend. She wanted to fall into her arms, tell her all her current struggles, but she couldn’t. Only Tabitha knew Leanne’s secrets, and her sister had been so busy the past couple of days that Leanne hadn’t had a chance to connect with her.

  “Dirk liked staying in one place,” George continued. “He would have stuck around. Helped on the ranch.”

  In spite of her own frustration with him, Leanne felt a touch of sympathy for Reuben. As long as she’d known Dirk and Reuben, it was obvious George favored the son of his first wife. His beloved Joelle.

  Didn’t matter what Reuben accomplished, it was either wrong or not as good as anything Dirk did. After Dirk died, George grew more bitter, railing against everyone and everything and, for some reason, Reuben most of all.

  “So where is this amazing job based?” George continued.

  “California. The company has contracts all over the world,” Reuben said, pushing his food around his plate. “It’s a great opportunity. A chance to make good money and be independent. And travel.”

  Leanne shouldn’t have been surprised that Reuben would take this job. His constant moving around had been one of those important issues they had planned to discuss when they decided they would be together. She had hoped he would come and work on the ranch, but Reuben had been adamant that his father would never want him back or give him any share in the Bar W. Dirk was the favored son, he would be the one inheriting and Reuben had no desire to put himself through more humiliation.

  “And no more rodeo?” his father asked.

  Reuben glanced over at Leanne just as she looked at him. She ducked her head, focusing on the plate in front of her.

  Leanne was thankful that in spite of George’s antagonism to Reuben, he carried the conversation. She couldn’t make idle chitchat with a man who had let her down so badly. Treated her so poorly.

  A man she’d thought, at one time, she would be spending the rest of her life with.

  And right now, sitting with him only a few feet away, with Austin sleeping upstairs, her own feelings were in such turmoil, she wasn’t sure what she would say to him.

  “Well, whatever works,” George said, taking a drink of his water. “You’re not in a saddle anymore but you’re still running around, aren’t you?”

  “Haven’t found a reason to settle down yet.” Then Reuben turned to Leanne. “This is a great supper. Thanks so much for having me.”

  His polite smile and impersonal comment created a clench of dismay that surprised and frustrated her. All through the meal he’d been unfailingly polite, asking George questions about the ranch, the hired hands, the community. He didn’t bother asking anything of her.

  Or about Austin, which cut deepest of all.

  “You’re welcome,” she said, keeping her voice cool. “It was the least we could do after you helped us out.”

  He shot her a frown, clearly picking up on the faint note of sarcasm that had crept into her voice.

  “It was the right thing to do. So what are you going to do now that Devin has quit?” Reuben asked, his gaze fixed on Leanne, as if daring her to answer his question.

  Leanne glanced at George, who glowered, tapping his fingers on the table.

  “I don’t know,” George said finally. “Sometimes I think we should let it all go.” Then he glanced at Leanne. “But then I think of Austin and know we should keep going.”

  His words created a low-level panic in her. Though Leanne knew, when it came right down to it, her father-in-law would never sell the ranch, he had floated the idea a couple of times. And she had simply let him talk, hoping he would change his mind.

  He always did.

  “We’ll keep going,” she said, giving George an encouraging smile. “We’ll advertise for another hand. That’s how we got Devin and
he knew his stuff.” She didn’t add the fact that George had been the one to drive him to quit, but she lived in hope that they would find someone who was able to ignore George’s bluster and do the work.

  “This Chad guy. Where did you find him?” Reuben asked.

  “Word of mouth,” Leanne said, glancing over at George who had gone quiet, staring off into the middle distance. Leanne caught him doing this more often the past while. As if he was ruminating on life. Looking back into a past he couldn’t change and the losses that had caused him so much pain.

  “He seems like a good guy, but not too experienced,” Reuben said.

  “He’ll learn.”

  “But you’re still shorthanded. And you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you getting the rest of the cows processed and the calves weaned.”

  Leanne was wondering why he was giving her the third degree. What did he care about what was happening on the ranch? He never had cared about it before.

  Or about other things.

  “We are shorthanded,” George said to Reuben, jumping into the conversation. “But you could help us out. You said you don’t have to go back for a couple of weeks. You could help Leanne get the cows down from the upper pastures. Help us wean them.”

  “We can find someone else,” Leanne chimed in. There was no way she could handle Reuben being at the ranch all day. “And besides, Reuben said he was leaving town.”

  “I can stay, help out around here,” Reuben said.

  Leanne could only stare at him. “Why?”

  “My dad asked if I could, and I can,” Reuben said, his tone even. Measured. As if he was challenging her. “And I know you won’t find anyone to help on the ranch on such short notice.”

  Leanne pressed her lips together, struggling for self-control. She was the new secretary of the Rodeo Group. And when she’d found out Reuben would be doing the assessment on the arena, she figured it would only require seeing him for a couple of meetings and then he would be done.

  But to have him here? Every day?

  “Good. Then that’s settled,” George said. “We’ll see you on Friday.”

  Leanne felt a headache crawling up her neck and had suddenly had enough of trying to sit through this visit. Trying to be polite to a man who had once held her heart and, instead, had pushed her away when she needed him most.

  She couldn’t struggle through inane conversation with Reuben for a single minute longer.

  “Excuse me,” she mumbled, shooting a glance at George, her eyes barely grazing over Reuben. She picked up her plate and carried it to the kitchen. She set her plate on the counter, gripping the edge as she tried to keep it together. In spite of her anger with Reuben, she was still disappointed to see how much he affected her. After all he had done, or rather hadn’t done, he could still make her heart tremble. At one time in her life, she would have prayed about this visit, asking God to give her strength. But she hadn’t attended church since Dirk died. The burdens on her shoulders weighed too heavily.

  And now it looked like he would be here on the ranch. Every day until they were done moving and weaning.

  She drew in a deep breath, then began scraping the food off the plate into the garbage can.

  “Not going to feed those to Buster? I’m sure the old dog would love those leftovers.”

  Ruben’s deep voice behind her made her jump. Why didn’t he stay in the dining room? She just wanted this evening over and him gone.

  “Buster’s not around anymore,” she said.

  “What? Since when?”

  “He died shortly after Austin was born.” In spite of her feelings toward him, she softened her voice as she gave him the news. Though the old collie had been the ranch’s dog, he had always been attached to Reuben and was always right at his heels everywhere he went.

  “I was wondering where he was when we were working with the cows. I thought he was sleeping. Figured he was probably pretty old.” Reuben released a heavy sigh as he set the bowls with the leftover food on the counter.

  She didn’t imagine the sorrow in his voice, and for the smallest moment she wanted to reach out to him and console him. But she stopped herself. He didn’t deserve her pity.

  George came into the kitchen, setting the last of the plates beside the sink.

  “If you don’t mind, I’m turning in,” he said to Leanne. “Tell Shauntelle thanks for dinner.”

  He turned to Reuben. “So we’ll see you again?”

  Reuben nodded, then George left, his footsteps slow as he walked through the kitchen to the stairs leading to his bedroom in his wing of the house.

  Reuben waited until he was gone, then turned back to Leanne. “He looks tired,” he said, his voice quiet.

  “He’s getting older and he hasn’t been feeling well lately.” Leanne kept her tone conversational, wishing Reuben would just leave. She wanted nothing more than to go to her own bedroom, crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and end this day. But she plugged on.

  “Why does he keep going?” Reuben asked. “Why doesn’t he sell this place? Sounds like he’s talked about it.”

  “Sell the place?” Leanne couldn’t keep the incredulous tone out of her voice as she finished loading the dishwasher. “This place has been in the Walsh family for generations. He can’t do that. He won’t do that,” she amended.

  Reuben gave her a surprised look. “You seem bothered by the idea.”

  “You don’t sell land,” she said, closing the dishwasher and punching the buttons, his nearness creating unwelcome feelings countered by his casual dismissal of everything she now held dear. “I can’t believe you would even say that. You, a Walsh.”

  “C’mon, Leanne. Be realistic,” Reuben said, frowning his puzzlement as he ignored her last statement. “It’s just you and my dad now, and Chad who is a nice guy but no cowhand. And knowing my father, you’ve been through more than a few hired hands already. You can’t keep going like this.”

  “I’m capable,” she countered, leaning back against the counter, her arms folded in a defensive gesture over her chest. “I’ve spent the last three years learning how to handle cows, drive a tractor, work a horse. Prove my worth to your father. I can manage the work.”

  “I don’t know why you would want to get into my father’s good graces,” Reuben said with a harsh laugh. “Those four years you and Dirk were engaged, my dad would have nothing to do with you. He fought with Dirk all the time about his dating you. And now you’re working with him like he’s a partner you can trust. How do you know he won’t change his mind and cut you out?”

  Leanne felt again the sting of that old rejection. When she was dating Dirk, she knew George’s disapproval was one of the reasons Dirk kept putting off setting a wedding date. Dirk kept telling her it would take time and that he wanted everything to be just right before they got married. But he hung on for four long years, giving her excuse after excuse.

  She finally broke up with him, realizing that it was probably for the best.

  Because no matter how she had tried to convince herself that Dirk—safe solid secure Dirk—was the better man, it was the wild and unpredictable Reuben who had always held her heart.

  And for a few blissful weeks, after she broke up with Dirk and she and Reuben found each other at that wedding in Costa Rica, she thought she had finally found her heart’s true home.

  Foolish, stupid, trusting girl.

  But she was here now. Reuben was her past. Austin was her present and future. He was her focus now. Not this man who broke his promises to her and broke her heart.

  “Land is an inheritance. A legacy. It’s security,” she said, repeating all the reasons she had dated Dirk. “You don’t give that up.”

  “Security always was important to you, wasn’t it?” Reuben’s voice held a hard edge. “That’s why you stayed w
ith Dirk so long. That’s why you went running back to him the first chance you could. After I thought we had shared something unique. Something I’d never had with anyone before.”

  His words dug into her heart, resurrecting feelings she thought she had dealt with, but the dismissive and furious tone of his voice stripped them all away. Laying bare the selfish man he truly was.

  She felt her hands curl into fists and for a moment she wanted to hit him. Strike at him. Lash out in pain and fury and hurt.

  “Dirk at least stood by me,” Leanne said, pulling in a long, slow breath, trying to still her pounding heart, the old, painful tightness gripping her tired head. Always a sign of stress and sorrow. “He helped me when I needed him, which is more than I can say for you.”

  Silence followed this remark and she wondered what he would say to that. If he would now finally admit to what he had done. Or hadn’t done.

  “I wish I had even the smallest inkling of what you’re talking about” was all he said, sounding genuinely puzzled.

  All she could do was stare at him.

  “Are you delusional or are you really that insensitive?” How could he act as if he had no clue of what had happened between them? Did he think she would just forget those panicked text messages she had sent and his harsh, hard replies telling her to leave him alone? That he didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore?

  “What’s really going on, Leanne?” Reuben asked as she busied herself putting the leftovers away. “I can’t believe you feel you have any right to be angry with me. Why?”

  Where to start?

  Leanne snapped covers on the leftovers and shoved them into the refrigerator, giving herself a chance to ease the fury clawing at her heart. She had told herself repeatedly that she was over this man and he didn’t deserve one minute of her thoughts.

  “Doesn’t matter,” she snapped. What she and Reuben had was past and gone. He’d had his chance and he’d tossed it away. That he would be working here was an inconvenience she would simply have to deal with until he was gone. Because if there was one thing she knew about Reuben, it was that his departure was inevitable.