by Minkman, Jen
“Hey, Josh wears an exact feather like that in his hair,” Hannah commented when Emily’s feathered hair bands caught her eye.
“That’s right. His father’s clan is my mother’s clan. Feather People.” Emily shrugged. “Well, I don’t mind Josh copied my style. It looks good on him, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, it does.” Hannah blushed. Of course, anything would look good on him. If Josh decided to wear a bucket on his head she’d still think it looked sexy. Quickly, she gulped down some water and stared intently at the menu. “Oh, by the way, Ben invited you to dinner tonight. He’s going to cook for us.”
Emily’s face twisted. “Ben is going to cook?”
“He’s going to try. No problem, we’ll help him. Besides, we still have some leftover pancakes from breakfast. Josh made them, with special flour from the rez.”
Yup, she was definitely babbling. About Josh - while she was supposed to ask Em about herself, not harp on about her latest Navajo obsession. She was a bad friend.
“I bet Josh is going to have a good time at Diné College,” Emily said. “I really liked the campus.”
“So Josh is also going to Tuba City? He did tell us he was going to college after the summer, but he didn’t say where.”
“Yeah, it’s about time he went to a reservation school. He was sort of rebellious during his senior year at Page High School.”
“Oh, really? How so?”
“The usual. Kicking against standard American culture, disobeying rules going against his traditional upbringing, refusing to use his last name on tests because the Diné don’t even originally use the binomial system. Oh, and when Josh and his band played this ‘anti-U.S.’ song by Blackfire – that’s a Diné band – he managed to offend the entire teaching staff. Blackfire’s lyrics aren’t exactly subtle.”
Hannah smiled. “You sound like you kind of enjoyed their rebellion.”
Emily grinned. “Oh, come on. Every generation needs rebels. Leave that to the Rezboyz.”
“The Rezboyz? Sounds cool. What does Josh play in the band?”
“The guitar. Amazingly well, by the way. I can’t believe he picked it up so fast. He sounded like a pro.”
Great. Emily was unwittingly fueling her feelings for Josh even more by showering praise on his musical skills. This was driving her nuts. It was time to discuss a different subject. “By the way, we’re going to have a barbecue on Friday,” Hannah said. “We invited our new neighbors too.”
“Sounds like fun. Count me in.”
“Which days of the week are you off? I’d love to drop by Naabi’aani so I can admire your hoghan.”
“Come by on Saturday. I’m not working, plus there’s a dance and a rodeo. Remember Hosteen, our old neighbor? His family’s organizing it.”
After lunch, Emily went back for her afternoon shift in the pharmacy, leaving Hannah to do some shopping on her own. She made her way to St Mary’s small main street for her second mission of the day – buying PJs she deemed fit for public display.
4.
"We’re back!" Ben’s voice boomed like a foghorn when he entered the kitchen, just as Hannah emerged from the shower. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon sunbathing on the beach.
“I’ll get dressed!” Hannah shouted back through the door with a chuckle. Quickly, she slipped into a black summer dress and ran a comb through her wet hair.
“What’s for dinner tonight?” she asked casually, stepping into the kitchen. Her gaze landed on Josh, who had his back turned to her.
Ben was rummaging through the fridge. “No idea,” he mumbled.
“Sounds promising,” she deadpanned.
Josh let out a chuckle, turning around to face her. “Well, at least we still have those pancakes.”
“Did you invite Emily?” Ben asked.
“Yeah, she’ll be here around seven, once she gets off work. Oh, she said she’d bring dessert.”
“Great. That’s one thing less to worry about, then.” Ben closed the fridge. “I’ll take the car and drive to the store.” He got the keys from the kitchen table and stomped off toward the door.
“Wait up,” Hannah mumbled, following Ben without thinking. Maybe she should come with him. The thought of staying behind with only Josh for company made her a little bit nervous.
“You need anything?” Ben gave her a puzzled look.
She hesitated, suddenly feeling like an idiot for practically running away from the log cabin. “Yeah, why don’t you buy me some oranges. See you soon.”
Grudgingly, Hannah walked back in. “You want anything to drink?” she asked Josh.
“Sure. Some bottled water, if you have it.”
Hannah sat down at the table, pouring him some water. When she met his gaze, she caught Josh eyeing her with a half-smile.
“What are you humming?” he asked softly.
Hannah felt her cheeks go warm. “I was humming?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, you were. Didn’t you notice?”
“No. Maybe it’s because I’m working on a song.”
“Really? You should play something tonight. You brought your guitar, right?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t finished composing it yet,” she said shyly, suddenly remembering how Emily had praised his guitar talents. She probably couldn’t hold a candle to him.
“No worries. Let me know when you’re done.”
Hannah nodded, shifting on her chair self-consciously. Why couldn’t she have a relaxed conversation with Josh anymore? “So what have you guys been up to today?” she quickly asked.
“Oh, we drove to Antelope Point Marina. We tried out Ben’s new fishing rods, but we didn’t catch anything. Too crowded, I guess.”
“So Ben bought new rods? Well, I hope you’ll catch more on Friday. If not, it’s going to be an embarrassing party. We invited three more people for the barbecue.”
“I’m sure they’ll take the bait here at St. Mary’s Port.”
“Hungry fish.” Hannah got up. “Speaking of which – I’m kind of hungry myself. How about some olives and crackers before we start cooking?”
She grabbed a container of potato salad, a jar of olives, and some garlic butter from the fridge, shoving everything into Josh’s hands before dashing to the kitchen cupboard to get some crackers.
Josh put the snacks on the table, one arm carelessly slung over the back of his chair. His long hair moved in the breeze coming from the fan in the corner. A gleam was dancing in his dark eyes as he watched her. Did he sense how awkward she felt?
“You want white or whole-wheat crackers?” she managed to choke out, holding up two different packs.
“I don’t care,” Josh replied. “Whatever you’re having.”
Hannah picked whole-wheat and sat down to spread some garlic butter on them. “Damn, that butter is rock-hard,” she muttered. As she tried to smoothen it out with her knife, she accidentally broke the cracker in two.
Josh snickered. “Here. Have some salad.” He pushed the container of potato salad toward her.
“You play the guitar too, right?” she quickly asked, to avoid another silence. “What kind of music do you guys play?”
“The Rezboyz mainly play cover songs by Diné bands.”
“That’s what Emily told me. Rebellious Blackfire stuff, huh?”
He shot her a lopsided smile. “You and Em were gossiping about me?”
“No, we weren’t.” Hannah blushed. “We only said nice things about you, I swear.”
“Thanks. You’re a true friend.”
“You’re welcome.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “Besides, I wouldn’t know what nasty things to say about you.”
“Oh, I bet Em told you I was nearly pulled off stage by angry teachers during the school talent show.”
“Yup. She said the Rezboyz were provoking the audience.”
He laughed. “The lyrics are kind of, uhm, politically incorrect.”
“You write your own songs, too?”
“Ye
s, but my songs are much more mellow.”
“So, you’re going to play some of your songs tonight?”
Josh tilted his head. “Only if you promise me you’ll play me some of yours at the barbecue on Friday.”
Hannah bit her lip. “Fine.”
He smiled. “Come on. You know you can sing. I was truly impressed with your performance at the gas station.”
She moaned. “Shut up, or I’ll never have the courage to sing again.”
“But I’m serious!” Josh gave her a crooked grin. “You sounded so passionate, yet so aggressive.”
“Shut. Up.” She tried to sound stern, but failed. With a wide grin, she grabbed a piece of the broken cracker from her plate and threw it against Josh’s shoulder. He stared at his shoulder, remaining silent for a few seconds.
“Food fight!” he suddenly hollered, unexpectedly throwing an olive from his plate against her forehead.
“You’re on!” Hannah grabbed the bottle of water from the table and splashed some in Josh’s face. Sputtering, he got up, ran around the table and filched the bottle from her. The next thing she felt was a stream of water running down her back. Jumping up from her chair, she went after him. “Give it to me!” she laughed, grabbing the bottleneck, covering his hand. He put out his other hand and in turn covered her hand with his.
“No,” he said defiantly, holding her gaze.
Hannah fell silent. She looked up at Josh, feeling the warmth of his hands on hers. Gingerly, she grabbed the bottom of the bottle and half-heartedly tried to twist it from his hands. “Let go,” she mumbled.
He took a step forward. “No,” he repeated, more softly. He leaned into her, his dark eyes fastening on her face. Hannah’s heart started to beat wildly. Suddenly, she knew for absolutely sure he was going to pull her and the bottle against his chest. He was going to kiss her. Swallowing hard, she took a step back in confusion. Maybe this was getting too close, too fast.
"Josh..." she started, suddenly lost for words.
The silence stretched.
"I’m sorry," he finally mumbled, letting go of the bottle.
Oh great. Somehow, she’d managed to make it sound like she was telling him off. Josh probably wouldn’t come close to her in the next two decades. She had to fix this.
But sadly, she didn’t get the chance. The front door swung open. “Hey! I’m here!” Emily hollered enthusiastically.
Grumbling inwardly, Hannah put the bottle back on the table, desperately seeking Josh’s eyes, but he’d turned away from her to make his way to the living room. “I’m going to get your guitar, okay?” he muttered, disappearing through the door.
Hannah shot her friend a bashful look. “Hi, Em.”
Emily’s eyes drifted over the puddles on the floor and the crumbs on the table. “Okay, what happened here?”
“Accident.” Hannah practically ran over to the sink to get a rag. “I’ll clean it up.” She started scrubbing the table and only stopped her maniacal cleaning attack when she noticed Emily was watching her from a corner of the kitchen with amusement in her eyes. Emily cleared her throat. “Let me rephrase that,” she said with a chuckle. “What happened here?”
“Nothing.”
“Yeah, sure. I was just imagining all that awkwardness when I came in a minute ago.”
“Yeah, you were. There’s nothing wrong.”
Emily looked sideways to the living room door and raised her eyebrows. “O-kayy,” she drew out. “Whatever you say. Where do you want me to put the dessert?” She pointed at the plastic bag on the kitchen table.
“What is it?”
“Apple pie.”
“Sounds good,” Josh said, walking into the kitchen. He was carrying Hannah’s guitar in one hand. “Do you mind?” he asked, holding it up.
“No, of course not,” Hannah assured him. “I’ve been told you play well.”
Emily smiled. “Like Mark Knopfler.” She padded toward the fridge. “Shall I put it in here?”
Hannah looked nonplussed. “What… the guitar?”
“No, you idiot, the apple pie. Not the sharpest tool today, are you?”
“Here comes today’s chef,” Ben announced at that instant, appearing in the doorway with two bulging grocery bags in his hands. He put the bags on the floor to hug Emily. “Hi Em! Are you going to join Hannah and be my second kitchen assistant?”
“That might be wise,” Emily grinned.
“I’ll go sit outside on the porch and play something.” Josh held up the guitar. “The kitchen is too small for four people anyway.”
“Lazy rezzy,” Ben tsked.
Josh gave him an innocent smile. “Arrogant paleface,” he replied placidly.
Hannah grabbed the bag of tomatoes to cut. The kitchen window was slightly ajar, and she could hear Josh plucking the strings and humming a tune. Emily was right – he sounded wonderful. His voice was deep and melodic. She hoped he’d play some more music after dinner. If he did, she’d stick to her end of the deal and play something on Friday. Which meant she had to try and come up with awesome lyrics to accompany that melody she’d been working on within the next two days. No pressure.
Just then, Emily poked her. “Drifting off?” she giggled, looking at the tomato on Hannah’s cutting board. She’d chopped it in at least thirty pieces.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m a bit tired.”
“So, what was up with Josh? He seemed a bit out of sorts when I came in.”
“Oh, nothing. We were having a water fight and I got annoyed with him. He didn’t want to help me clean up.” Brilliant. She sounded like a fifty-year-old schoolmarm. Maybe she should just shut up and stick to chopping vegetables for a while.
“This spaghetti is fantastic,” Emily commented, once they were all sitting on the porch having dinner. Ben looked proud of himself.
“Yeah, great tomato sauce,” Josh agreed. “Maybe you can make some more of this stuff when you come to the rodeo on the rez this Saturday.” It was tradition to bring some food for the family organizing the event.
Hannah finished her last bit of Coke and got up to get some more. No one seemed to pay attention to her, but when she got to the kitchen, Ben turned out to have followed her.
“What’s suddenly going on between you and Josh?” he asked flat-out, his eyes searching her face.
She shifted uncomfortably. “Uhm, what do you mean?”
Ben shook his head with a smile. “Don’t give me that line. Something definitely happened when I was gone. Josh is acting weird. He keeps sneaking glances at you. You know – the same way you struggle not to stare at him. Did you guys kiss or something?”
A flush raced under Hannah’s skin. “Uhm, no,” she stammered. “For a moment, I thought he … so I pulled away… so, he must think I…” Her voice trailed off.
“You want me to tell Josh you like him?” Ben somehow always managed to decipher her incoherent rants. “Man to man?”
“No, Ben. Please. Just keep out of it, will you? I just have to think it over, okay?”
Her brother smiled. “Okay. Whatever. Relax. I’ll sit back and wait while you think things over for the next two months.”
Hannah pulled a face. “You know me too well.”
They went back outside and sat down at the table. Emily and Josh were just talking about traveling.
“I made a trip to the four holy mountains last spring,” Josh said.
“On foot?” Hannah asked incredulously. She knew the Navajo legend of the mountains bordering Diné territory on four sides, as defined by their ancestors. Today’s Navajo Nation was within the imaginary lines formed by connecting the holy mountains on the map.
“I went by car,” Josh replied. “Walking it was a bit too much for me.”
“Wow! I’m surprised you left the rebellious motorcycle at home.”
“Well, it was sort of a pilgrimage for me. I didn’t think it was appropriate to break the law. I left our village at dawn and visited the mountain in the west first.”
“I had my reasons. I wanted to evoke the powers of our ancestors, feel the spirits of the past, and go back in time.”
Hannah blinked and couldn’t help staring at him. What he said was beautiful. Josh was the most unusual seventeen-year-old guy she had ever met.
“The Diné all have a strong bond with the past, huh?” Ben said. “It really fascinates me. You always have a story for every occasion, and everything is connected. Balanced. What’s the word for it again?”
“Hózhó,” Hannah supplied. “Right?”
Josh nodded. “You know what, this is the right moment to sing my song for you guys. It’s about balance and beauty.” He got Hannah’s guitar from behind his chair.
“What’s it called?” Ben asked.
“ ‘In Beauty May I Walk’. It’s a translation of a famous Diné prayer.”
“Wow, you put that to music?” Emily smiled. “Let’s hear it!”
Josh started to play. Hannah leaned forward in her chair and cupped her chin in her hands, her elbows leaning on the table. She stared at him. The melody he was playing and the words he was singing were so beautiful and so fragile that she hardly dared to breathe. She didn’t want to make any unnecessary sound. He sang about returning seasons, birds and butterflies, and the dew at his feet on the trail of life.
Ben was the first to break the silence when the song was over. “Wow, Josh, that was great. You’re really talented. I feel honored you wanted to sing this for us.”
Josh looked up shyly. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“I bet Sani is going to be on your case for changing the words of the prayer, though,” Emily said with a wink.
“He changed something?” Ben said.
“Yeah, in the second verse. The original doesn’t feature butterflies.”
“That’s right.” Josh carefully put the guitar against the porch railing. “I liked the lyrics better that way.” His gaze drifted to Hannah, who fell silent, remembering how Josh had compared her to a butterfly yesterday evening. But he couldn’t possibly have changed the lyrics of his traditional song with her in mind. That was absurd.