by Minkman, Jen
Hannah’s heart started to thump in her chest. She scrambled up too, wincing slightly. The backs of her knees still stung like hell. Taking a few hesitant steps, she stumbled after Josh to the side of the cabin.
“You okay?” he asked.
After the bright firelight, her eyes had to get used to the dark of the summer night. Hannah could only make out the outline of Josh’s head and shoulders.
“Yeah,” she replied. “I just like walking like a chimp. It’s so charming.”
He chuckled and craned his neck to stare up at the sky. She followed his gaze.
“You know, when I was little I used to watch the skies and look for the place where the angels lived,” she said softly. “I really thought God was somewhere among the stars.”
“And now?”
She paused. “You mean, why I watch the skies now?”
“No. Where you think God is.” For some reason, the question didn’t sound weird or pompous, coming from him. He just sounded interested.
“Well – I think God is everywhere. But people don’t open up to His presence on a daily basis. They close off.”
Josh didn’t say anything. He just slipped an arm around her shoulders and stood a bit closer.
“You think?” he asked. “Is that what you do, too? Close off?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. But I guess most white people walk the earth as if it’s hostile territory. They have this urge to control and subdue nature. So, they take God out of the equation, out of this world, far above it. And your people place God in everything. That’s why the earth is their home. I think.” She blew out a breath. End of philosophical rant. Had she lost him now?
“You’re right. We deeply respect the earth, and we’re a part of her.” Josh turned his face toward her. “You see the differences between our cultures so clearly,” he said softly. Somehow, he sounded wise beyond his years, and for a split second, it felt as if he was addressing her as her senior. In a flash, Hannah saw his face, older than she’d ever seen it in reality – the face from her dream last night. She couldn’t get the image out of her head.
“Uhm, you said you’d point out some of the Navajo constellations to me,” she said, when he stared up at the sky and remained silent.
Josh tilted his head to the Big Dipper. “Náhookos Bika’ii. The protective father-figure of our night sky.” He made a quarter turn and indicated Cassiopeia. “And that’s the mother of the stars, Náhookos Bi’áadii.”
Hannah took it all in. It was a shame she couldn’t tell Josh anything about the mythology behind the constellations she knew, even though she knew all the names by heart. There were no fathers or mothers in her firmament.
“You’re close with your parents?” she suddenly blurted out, not really knowing where the question came from.
Josh hesitated for a second. “I guess.”
“Doesn’t sound like you really feel it,” Hannah observed.
“I love my parents. I just don’t talk to them a lot anymore.”
“Well, how many seventeen-year-old guys do?”
“With us, they do.”
“But you don’t?” His sudden honesty and frankness opened up new avenues. She didn’t want to pass up this chance to ask Josh some personal questions.
“No. I don’t.” The silence between them stretched out. Hannah held her breath. Even the world around them seemed to stop breathing for a moment. Everything was quiet.
“I just – clammed up,” he whispered, barely audible.
Hannah wished she could see his face. His voice sounded so lonely and so melancholic that she instinctively put her hand on his shoulder. “You – you shouldn’t,” she stammered.
“I can’t help it. I can’t help myself.”
“Can I help you, then?” Hannah asked quietly.
He put his hand on hers, pressing a soft kiss on the back of her hand as he lifted it from her shoulder. “I don’t know,” he said.
Hannah stared at him, even though she couldn’t see his eyes in the dark. She wanted to do something, reach out, say kind words that would make him feel supported, but she could feel the wall between them almost like a physical object.
“Hey! Hannah!” Nick suddenly called out from the campfire. “Where are you? We’re going to play Truth or Dare!”
She bellowed: “No, thanks. Ben knows me way too well for that. I’m not going to go there.” Besides, who knew what would happen if she stayed here with Josh a little longer?
Josh snickered beside her. “On the other hand, we know Ben very well, too,” he pointed out. “Let’s go join them.”
So nothing would happen. The moment was over. His sudden openness disappeared beneath the waves again, and she’d bet half a month’s salary it wouldn’t resurface any time soon. She was going to kill Nick for interrupting their conversation.
“Come on,” Josh mumbled, letting his arm slide off her shoulders before lightly grabbing her hand as they walked back to the group.
They were holding hands. Hannah’s heartbeat picked up, and she had a smile plastered on her face when she sat down near the fire. Okay, maybe she wasn’t going to kill Nick after all. This was pretty perfect.
7.
The next morning, Hannah awoke completely drenched in sweat. Echoes of voices screaming in a foreign language still resounded in her head. Slowly opening her eyes, she breathed deeply in and out. A feeling of dread had settled in the pit of her stomach, and it wouldn’t go away.
She’d had another nightmare. Hannah couldn’t remember much, but she did know that the old village had been the setting again. There’d been violent attacks by soldiers, but there’d also been people around her that she trusted – people who protected her. And the older version of Josh had been among them.
This time, the end of her dream had been different. She’d met Josh somewhere on a rock plateau near a precipice overlooking a canyon. He had spoken Diné Bizaad, the Navajo language. The strange thing was, she’d been able to understand him in her dream, but couldn’t remember what he told her now that she was awake.
She did remember that she’d been upset by his words – she had run away from him because her heart told her she had to. The image still haunting her now was Josh’s older face, full of pain and sadness, and the way he’d looked at her when she turned around to face him one last time.
Groaning, Hannah got out of bed and dragged herself to the kitchen. It was less stuffy than her bedroom, but it was still hot. She needed to freshen up. After popping two slices of bread into the toaster, she took a quick shower and got dressed in light summer clothes.
A soft wind caressed her face when Hannah stepped onto the porch. She looked to the left and saw Ben’s car was gone. Chewing her toast, she walked back inside and got her wallet from the kitchen table, blinking in surprise when her eyes fell on the clock above the stove. It was almost twelve o’clock. No wonder Ben was gone – he’d probably given up on her crawling out of bed today.
Hannah closed the door behind her and strolled down to the tiny supermarket in St. Mary’s Port to buy some canned goods that she and Ben could bring to the rez as a gift. It was tradition to bring the family organizing the rodeo something that could be used for cooking, like corn flour, mutton, dried beans or pumpkin.
Once inside Safeway, Hannah first made her way to the aisle with flour and baking products. This wasn’t her lucky day – the Blue Bird flour was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t get away with buying another brand. The fry bread just wouldn’t taste the same.
A bit lost in thought, she picked up a bag of different flour from the top shelf when she suddenly heard two voices coming from the next shopping aisle. They sounded familiar.
Hannah strained her ears and stopped breathing. Her hands began to shake. She’d swear the people talking in the next aisle were the guys who’d harassed her on Thursday night. Their voices sounded just the same.
Slowly, she shuffled forward, cautiously sticking her head around the corner like a spy.
There they were. Two men in plaid flannel shirts. They were about thirty years old and both were carrying a case of beer. Hannah shuffled into the aisle, listening intently to the two men. Okay, this was freaky. They sounded exactly like her bullies, but they were definitely not the same guys. With a frown, she passed the two men on her way to the pay desk. Was she beginning to imagine things?
When Hannah got to the queue, she almost tripped over a display full of Blue Bird flour sacks and a garish-colored sign screaming ‘Buy 2 Get 1 Free!!’ at her.
With a smile, she bent over to pick up two sacks, accidentally bumping into someone behind her when she stepped back.
“Hey, Hannah!” It was Amber. She looked down at the flour sacks. “Oh – Blue Bird flour. I was going to get that, too.”
Hannah smiled. “No problem. Let’s both get one. It’s on sale anyway.” She tossed one of the sacks into Amber’s basket. Obviously, Amber had asked Emily what kind of food to take to the rez today. Yesterday, Emily and Amber had been chatting to each other all night and they’d even swapped phone numbers, because they had an instant click. More than just a click, actually – Hannah was sure she’d seen some sparks fly between them.
It was enough cause to make her a bit jealous, actually. At least Amber had managed to get Emily’s phone number. Heck, she’d practically sat on Em’s lap yesterday evening. Josh didn’t even have his own land line, let alone a cell phone. Of course, she had to fall head over heels for a guy with Amish ideals. And on top of all that, she was having weird dreams about him.
“You okay?” Amber asked. “You’re looking sort of stressed.”
“Yeah, I’m all right,” Hannah said, trying to forget her dark thoughts. “I was just thinking of a dream I had last night.”
“Oh? What about?” Amber put the two sacks of flour on the conveyor belt.
“It’s kind of difficult to explain. It was like watching a few movie scenes, but not chronologically. Josh appeared in my dream, too, and somehow I really hurt him, but I don’t know how or why.”
“You dream about him a lot?” Amber asked. “Sorry for being curious. It’s just that – I see…” Her voice trailed off.
“What?” Hannah urged her on.
Amber looked around uncomfortably. “Shall we go outside first?”
“Sure.” Hannah quickly paid for the groceries. She was dying to know what Amber had to tell her.
On their way out they passed the two men with beer bottles. They were leaning against the wall on either side of the door, standing in the shade. Hannah glanced sideways, and a feeling of being observed by the two crept up on her as she and Amber moved away from the supermarket. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she increased her pace. Why couldn’t she shake the feeling that she knew those guys? It was ridiculous. Their voices sounded similar to those of her attackers, but that’s where every similarity ended – they were twice as old, for crying out loud. She was starting to get paranoid. If she kept feeling this stalked, maybe she should go back to the police station and ask for victim service.
Quickly, they made their way to the square in front of the Grassroots café, sitting down on a bench in the shade. “So,” Hannah turned to Amber. “What did you want to tell me?”
Amber shrugged. “I can see auras sometimes.” She furtively gauged her neighbor’s reaction.
“Okay.” Hannah smiled at her encouragingly.
Amber bit her lip. “When I see Josh’s aura – and yours – well, they react to each other. That in itself isn’t strange. I mean, they’re energy fields, but...” She looked at her hands sitting in her lap. “I have never seen two auras so attuned to each other. Okay, I saw it once with an elderly couple from Pensacola, in a local elderly home during my summer job. They were both eighty years old, they’d been married for sixty years, and they were still in love with each other. It was wonderful to look at. So pure and intense.”
Hannah felt her heart speed up. “Well, I’ve known him for a long time. He’s always been Ben’s best friend. We sort of grew up together.”
Amber shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Your souls look entwined.”
Hannah stared at her dumbstruck, making Amber shift uneasily. “Sorry. I probably sound like a lunatic.”
“No. No, you don’t. There’s definitely a connection between us, but I don’t understand why it’s so strong all of a sudden. Or why it turned into something else.” She blushed.
“Did you tell Ben about your dreams?”
“Not really. I did tell him how I feel about Josh. But he doesn’t know I’ve been having weird dreams about Josh, too.”
“What about that evening at the lake when you were harassed? Doesn’t that still give you nightmares?”
“Yeah, that doesn’t help either. I still have the feeling…” Hannah paused.
“What?” Amber prompted her.
“Okay. This is going to sound bizarre, but I have the feeling I’m being watched. That somebody is after me.” Hannah cleared her throat nervously. “I know it sounds like textbook paranoia, but I can’t help it.”
“Well, you don’t strike me as a nutjob, so maybe something is going on for real. Just keep your friends close by. We’ll protect you if someone’s really after you.”
Suddenly, Hannah had an idea. “Could you do something for me?” She got up and took a few steps up the road. “I want to go back to Safeway for a minute.”
The two girls walked back to the supermarket, carrying the sacks of flour in their arms. Hannah looked around and spotted the men she’d overheard talking in the store. They were still near the supermarket, hanging around in the shade by the side of the road. A third man about the same age had joined them. Hannah observed the men, going cold all over when the newcomer abruptly whipped around and fixed her with his stare. The other two turned their heads at exactly the same moment. Three pairs of eyes observed her and Amber. Time slowed down. The sun dimmed as all sounds around her were muffled. Hannah’s heart pounded frantically.
With difficulty, she tore her eyes away from the men, making the world turn again. “Amber,” she hissed. “Can you look at those guys’ auras?”
“I’ll try,” Amber replied, without asking why. She peered intently at the trio across the street. Hannah didn’t follow her gaze. The way the three men had just eyed her gave her the absolute chills. They were probably wondering why Amber was looking at them so intently, but right now, she couldn’t care less. She simply had to know if something was off about them, and maybe her neighbor could see if there was.
Amber grabbed her arm. “They’re walking away,” she inadvertently whispered.
Hannah watched the three men moving away from the supermarket, their movements unnaturally synchronous. They turned the corner without looking back. Once they’d disappeared from view, she let out a huge sigh of relief.
“Well?” she asked tensely.
Amber’s eyebrows knitted together. “Nothing,” she replied, looking a bit stupefied.
Hannah raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t see an aura around any of them.”
Hannah blinked. “So…”
“So, I may have suddenly lost my abilities, but I don’t think so. I don’t always see a full-fledged aura with colors and shapes, but I always see something. A sort of glow, a life-force, a certain charisma.”
“But not with them?” Hannah still looked at Amber, nonplussed.
“No.” Amber hesitated and turned pale. “I have this feeling…”
“Yes?”
“It felt like I was looking at people who weren’t actually here. As if they were mirror images. Or people who are dead. They don’t have auras either.”
Hannah gulped. Her instinct hadn’t betrayed her. There really was something off about those men. But what on earth was she supposed to do with this information? She’d have a hard time explaining to the police she was being stalked by guys who weren’t really there.
She turned to Amber. “Can you
please keep this to yourself? I don’t think people would understand.” She could vividly imagine Ben’s face if she told him a demented story like this.
“Actually, I don’t really understand it myself,” Amber replied with a vacant stare. She chewed her lip. “But if anyone did, it’d be Emily. She talks a lot about mystical experiences with her patients. You could ask her what she thinks this is.”
“You’ve really been chatting about tons of stuff with Em, huh?” Hannah suddenly said with a wink.
“Yeah.” Amber turned red. “I had a good time last night.”
“So, just chatting, huh?”
Amber blushed even more. “Uhm, yeah. So far.”
She’d been right about the sparks flying, then. Good for Em!
“What about you and Josh, then?” Amber inquired.
“Oh.” Hannah couldn’t help smiling. “We just chatted. And watched the stars.”
“So far,” Amber added playfully.
“Yeah.” Hannah grinned. “So far.”
When she got back to the cabin, Ben was just finishing up the batch of pasta he’d promised to cook for their rodeo-day-out.
“Look, I got us tickets for Movies in the Park next week,” he proudly announced, pointing at an envelope lying on the table. “Everybody’s tagging along.”
“Cool.” Hannah let out a sigh as she sat down at the table to have a look. Ben’s lighthearted chatter about the movies they were going to screen almost made it possible to forget about the bizarre encounter she’d had this morning. Sitting there, with the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows, it suddenly seemed ridiculous she’d felt threatened and freaked out by a bunch of lumberjack guys carrying beer cases, auras or no auras. And yet, she couldn’t get it out of her head. Those guys – they’d given her this look of recognition. That’s why she’d felt so uncomfortable under their gaze. Even though it was impossible, these men knew her somehow. Was she going nuts?
“You want to tag along to the beach?” Ben interrupted her train of thoughts. “I’m going for a quick swim before Nick shows up here for the rodeo.”