by Minkman, Jen
“Thanks.” He beamed at her and joined her at the side of the make-shift dance floor.
As the speakers lined up around the field started blaring out country music, Yaz grabbed Ivy’s hand. “Come on, let’s hit the dance floor!”
“Sure,” Ivy laughed.
Emily shot a glance at Amber. Apparently deciding it was time to pluck up some courage, she grabbed Amber’s hand and smiled at her. Amber’s cheeks filled with color. Without saying a word, she followed Emily into the crowd.
Nick looked around uncertainly. “So Josh, how about me asking a Navajo girl to dance? Is that even allowed?”
Josh snickered. “Yeah, sure. We don’t completely hate palefaces, you know.”
“That sounds promising,” Ben commented with a grin.
“If you ask a girl to dance and she gives you some coins, she’s declining,” Josh explained. “If she accepts, it is custom to give her a few coins after the dance.”
This prompted both Nick and Ben to take off and try their luck.
“I don’t even have coins on me,” Hannah complained, fumbling through her pockets.
Josh had a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Sounds like you’re going to be busy.”
Hannah grinned. “Not necessarily. I can’t refuse the first guy asking me, but if he pays up enough for my impressive dancing skills, I can stave off suitors with those coins for the rest of the evening.”
“You want to dance?” Josh suddenly said, a smile playing on his lips. He extended his hand to her, a laugh in his voice but his eyes serious.
Oh. She totally hadn’t seen that coming. Hannah blushed, putting her hand in his. “Yes, of course,” she stammered.
At that exact moment, Josh’s dad appeared out of nowhere. “Hey, shiye.” He put an arm around his son’s shoulders. “I’m glad I found you. They need you.”
“What for?”
His dad started to explain something to him in Diné Bizaad. Josh let go of her hand with a sorry expression on his face.
“I have to assist Sani with something that can’t wait. I’ll see you for dinner at my parents’ place, okay?” he said.
“Oh. Okay,” she replied flatly.
“Sorry,” Josh added, and then he was gone, following his father to wherever Sani was hanging out. Hannah stared blindly at the field. Emily and Amber were dancing together like there was no tomorrow, and for just a moment, she felt more lonely than ever.
When the sun had almost set, Hannah walked with her friends to the street where Josh’s family had their large, octagonal hoghan. They’d all been invited to dinner.
While the Navajo family was busy cooking on outdoor grills, Hannah’s eyes wandered to the smaller, hexagonal hoghan to the right of the main building. Of course, it could only belong to one person. She couldn’t contain her curiosity, so she left her friends sitting outside the sweatlodge and made her way to Josh’s private hoghan.
Gingerly, she stepped inside. Her gaze quietly touched the walls, the two burning candles on the floor giving off a soft light, illuminating the medicine wheel on the far wall. In the middle of the house, there was the typical fireplace – the center of every hoghan. To her right, some cupboards lined the walls. Four bookshelves had been attached to the wall opposite the entrance. And in the far right corner, a mattress was on the floor covered with a hand-woven Navajo blanket. Next to it was an armchair that Josh apparently used as a make-shift guitar stand and clothes rack. An oval-shaped mirror was fixed to the wall above the chair.
On a peg above the bed, Hannah discovered the most beautiful dreamcatcher she had ever seen. It contained blood-red thread, turquoise beads, feathers and silver-colored yarn. Her breath caught in her throat as she bent over and took a closer look at the intricate piece of art. The power contained within this dreamcatcher was almost palpable. Had Josh made it himself? It had to be his. She could somehow feel it.
Hannah took a step backward and started to check out the content of the bookshelves. There were textbooks and boxes full of traditional jewelry, but also an impressive collection of novels and scientific journals. She picked up a book lying a bit apart from the others with the spine cracked open somewhere in the middle.
“Edward T. Hall,” she mumbled softly, reading the title on the cover. “An Autobiography.”
“He lived and worked in Navajo Nation,” Josh’s voice suddenly sounded from the doorway. Hannah almost jumped out of her skin, whipping around and putting the book back like a child caught red-handed. Josh sauntered inside, smiling at her. “You can borrowing it if you want.”
“But – you’re reading it. Right?” Hannah objected. Crap. She had no idea how to save face. She’d just barged into his home without permission and she’d been going through his stuff.
“I’ve read it before.” Josh shrugged and picked up the dog-eared book. He was silent for a moment. “I actually met the author.”
“Oh, really? Where?”
“At one of his lectures. He was a speaker at a conference in Tuba City a few years ago. I talked to him after his lecture to discuss his work with him.”
Hannah blinked and made a quick calculation. “So – how old were you then?”
Josh bit his lip, a guarded look in his eyes. The look she’d seen too many times already. “Fifteen,” he mumbled.
“Wow.” She eyed him incredulously. “Well, I’m impressed. I wish my fifteen-year-old students were interested in going to historical lectures.”
“You can always try and inspire them.” Josh smiled faintly. “Take them to a lecture some time.”
“I doubt Edward Hall will come and speak in my neighborhood any time soon.”
“No, he won’t. He passed away this year.”
For a split second, Hannah could swear tears were welling up in his eyes.
“Oh. Did you know him personally?” she asked, confused by his strong reaction.
She could see how Josh was grappling with finding an answer. “No,” he finally said, but somehow, it didn’t sound like it was the truth. Why would he lie about something trivial like this, though?
Josh put the book back and tilted his head to the dreamcatcher. “So what do you think?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.
“Amazing. I’ve never seen such a pretty dreamcatcher.”
He smiled. “Maybe we can make one for you next week. I’ll make sure I bring some stuff along.”
Hannah slowly nodded. Admittedly, the intense dreams she had were freaking her out, but there was clearly something they were trying to tell her. If the dreamcatcher did what the legend said and proved to be effective, she’d never have nightmares again, but she also wouldn’t discover new things.
“By the way, I’m sorry I broke into your hoghan. I didn’t mean to snoop around.” Of course, that was exactly what she’d meant to do, but she still felt the need to apologize.
Josh took her hands in his. “Don’t be silly. You may always enter my home, sha’di.” Hannah felt his palms warm against her fingers and tried to dismiss the cold feeling spreading through her heart when she heard him use the sister word again. He couldn’t help seeing her like that. She had to get her act together.
“I like your hair like that,” she said softly, looking at the bun. “I haven’t seen you wearing it like this very often.” Well, except in a dream.
“It’s a tsiyeel, an eight-shaped hairbun for traditional occasions. Actually, I’m going to get rid of it now. It’s sort of tight.” He raised one hand to untie his headband, trying to untangle the bun with the other.
“Can you...” he started, and Hannah nodded shyly. She moved behind him and untied the headband for him. After that, she combed his thick, black hair with her fingers. It smelled a bit sweet. “You put anything in it?” she asked.
He reached for a pot of coconut cream on one of the shelves and handed it over to her. Hannah rubbed some of the grease onto her hands and applied it to Josh’s long hair. Now and then, her palms touched the skin of his scalp, his shoulder
s and neck, and she felt her fingers tingle from that skin contact. Silently, she moved a little bit closer to run her fingers through the hair falling on either side of his face, wanting to brush it over his shoulders, when her one hand accidentally caressed his cheek.
She bit her lip and felt the blood rush to her face. Fortunately, Josh was facing away from her, so he couldn’t see the expression on her face.
Then her gaze drifted across his shoulder to the mirror above the chair. Her own blushing face was staring back at her, and so was Josh.
Her heart skipped a beat when he turned around and looked down at her.
God, he was standing so close. If only she could pull him even closer and kiss him. Or make a casual or funny remark to get rid of the sickening tension in the air. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do funny right now. It wasn’t funny. It was painful, it was entirely her own fault, and Josh was no doubt wondering why she was gaping at him like this. Hannah looked down at the floor, completely flustered.
As if her guardian angel had decided to butt in and save her, someone whistled outside at that moment. After a few seconds, Yazzie stuck his head round the door. “Dinner’s ready. Are you two coming?”
Josh faintly smiled at Hannah. “Well, you heard the man. Let’s go, sha’di.”
Hannah winced. Thank God she hadn’t just made the blatant mistake of kissing someone who thought of her as an older sister and nothing more.
“Yeah, let’s,” she replied, slogging defeatedly out of the hoghan and following Josh and Yazzie to sit down for dinner.
It was late in the evening when the gang finally made their way back to St. Mary’s Port. Hannah sat silently in the back of Nick’s Jeep, contemplating the night sky stretching out above the mesas, the dark desert landscape gliding past her. She was happy the night was over. She was dead beat.
When Nick dropped her, Ben, and the neighbor girls off at the log cabins, Amber followed her. “Hey, wait up a second,” she called out, her voice urgent.
Hannah stopped in her tracks, waiting for Amber to continue.
“I asked Emily what she thought of aura-less people,” Amber whispered. “I didn’t tell her why I was interested, but she mentioned chindi – witches. According to Navajo religion, they aren’t strictly human anymore, so that would explain the lack of aura.”
Hannah stared at her neighbor, a shiver running down her spine. “Witches?” she whispered back. The day on the rez had calmed her down somewhat, but now her uneasy feeling about the three men in Safeway came back with double intensity. “Did she mention what to do about them?”
“No, she didn’t. I didn’t ask too many questions, though. Maybe you’d like to grill her on the subject yourself when you feel ready.”
Hannah didn’t respond. Quite frankly, she didn’t feel ready for anything except lying down and sleeping a dreamless sleep for at least twenty-four hours. “Thanks, Amber. We’ll discuss it later. I need some eye-shut first.”
Hannah went inside, flinging herself down on the bed. She didn’t even bother to take off her clothes. She longed for peace and quiet, harmony and balance, hózhó.
Unfortunately, her subconscious didn’t take that wish into account. That night, once again, she dreamed about Josh trying to save her from the clutches of Mexican soldiers. Once more, she left him at the precipice overlooking the canyon, his hair flying in the wind and tears streaming down his face.
The only thing different this time were the three intimidating shadows waiting for her at the foot of the hill, staring at her with hollow, dead eyes as she ran away.
9.
“Ben?”
Hannah peeked into the kitchen. No sign of her brother. But she could have sworn she’d heard a voice calling out her name. What had woken her up so suddenly?
Groggily, she stumbled back to bed, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. She downed the entire glass of water standing on her bedside table. Maybe she’d been dreaming again. But what about?
For a minute, she couldn’t recall a single thing, but as she got up and went over to her closet to get some clothes, it came back to her. The precipice. The sinister apparitions at the foot of the hill.
What in the world was going on with her? All the elements of her dream obviously had to do with things keeping her mind occupied in real life, but that didn’t explain why her mind would make up such a bizarre storyline to cope with them. And why it was always the same storyline.
With a frustrated sigh, she slammed the closet door shut and walked back to her bed with a green tank top and a denim skirt in her hands. From the nightstand, she picked up the turquoise necklace she’d been wearing yesterday and sullenly put it back in her jewelry box. The necklace she’d worn yesterday. The necklace she’d made together with Josh, her little brother. Who happened to be her lover in her nightmares. Why was her life so terribly unfair?
Maybe a shower would cheer her up. She made her way to the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. After all, Ben was still asleep, so she could take her time.
After getting dressed, Hannah took a mug of coffee outside, walking down the steps to find a spot on the grass to enjoy the morning sun. She found herself right where she’d been star-gazing with Josh two days ago. It was getting warmer already, and the world was waking up. Birds twittered in the trees next to their cabin.
Hannah’s eyes drifted across the garden and caught on something lying at the edge of the lawn. Something turquoise, partially covered by blades of grass. Curious, she scrambled up to take a closer look.
Her jaw dropped when she saw what it was. Her turquoise necklace. Hannah bent over to pick it up. Her body went cold with anxiety. But that was impossible – she knew for sure she’d put it back in the box in her room before she went out. Could someone have been in her room, going through her stuff, while she was taking a shower?
Her fist closed tightly around the necklace, the beads pressing into her palm. And then, her eye fell on something else – pawprints. In the sand bordering the lawn, there were clear animal footprints. It looked like a dog had walked around their cabin – or a coyote.
Hannah inhaled sharply before breaking down into tears. Sobbing desperately, she sagged down on the ground, tears running down her face. Seriously, what was happening to her? The weird dreams, the three guys harassing her, coming back to her in different forms – and now this.
“Han! What’s wrong?” She looked up to see her brother running down the porch steps. He kneeled next to her and hugged her in a warm embrace
“Ben, I’m going nuts,” she said desolately. There – now at least she’d said what she thought. That would take the edge off this conversation.
“You look frazzled. I don’t know what’s wrong, but you can tell me. Come on, spill.”
“It’s difficult to explain where it all started.” Hannah thought back to the moment she’d been sitting in the car, surrounded by the drunks circling her Datsun like a pack of wolves. “Probably when those guys harassed me.”
Her brother sighed. “Yeah, I suspected that was going to be a problem at some point.”
“I also have dreams,” she quickly went on, before she’d lose her courage.
“About those assholes?”
“No. About Josh.” Hannah felt the heat creeping up in her face.
“Well, that’s not so strange, right?” Ben smiled.
“Yes, it is. Hear me out. In my dreams, I live in this Navajo village, in the past, and Josh is there too. It feels like he’s my lover in the dream. And every night, he tries to save me from Mexican soldiers attacking our village, and at the end of the dream, I break up with him on the edge of some canyon.”
“And the dreams started after you were harassed?”
Hannah nodded. “Yeah. Straight after that.”
“Maybe you just feel the need to be protected by Josh,” Ben philosophized. “And you’re dreaming about the past because you’ve heard him talk about Navajo history a lot lately.”
“Hmm. You could be right.” H
annah exhaled. Ben’s explanation was a better alternative than her own supernatural hocus-pocus.
“I think you should drop by the police station tomorrow and ask for victim services, though,” Ben continued. “Maybe they don’t think your case is serious enough, but it won’t hurt to try.”
She put her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
As she hugged he brother, the beads of the necklace turned sweaty in her palm. Stubbornly, Hannah silenced the voice niggling at her mind that something didn’t add up. She’d probably put the necklace in her skirt pocket instead of in the box, and then it must have fallen out. There was simply no other explanation.
“What time will Josh be here for our boat trip to Rainbow Bridge?” she asked, as Ben and she scrambled to their feet.
“He won’t. He just called to tell me that he’s expecting you guys at Wahweap Harbor at noon. That’s where Yazzie keeps his boat.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll wait until Amber and Ivy wake up. I haven’t seen any life signs at the Greenes’ yet.”
Ben grinned. “If they’re still not up at eleven, we’ll visit them, banging drums and shaking rattles.”
Laughing, they walked back to the porch. Ben fixed some more coffee for the two of them. He sat down with a pile of textbooks, starting up his laptop to show Hannah the pictures Katie had sent him from Barcelona. Looking at Ben’s girlfriend’s photos allowed her to take her mind off things, at least for the moment.
Tomorrow, she’d drop by the police station. Ben was right – she could use all the help she could get.
At ten to twelve, Hannah drove off with Ivy and Amber in the back seat of her Datsun. Nick and Ben weren’t tagging along today – they’d see Rainbow Bridge during their hike next week. The car raced down Lake Powell Drive, and it didn’t take long before Wahweap Harbor appeared in the distance. Hannah parked her car alongside the road leading down to the small harbor. The girls walked down the asphalt path, meandering past jagged rocks, ending at the jetty where Yazzie’s boat was anchored. It was twelve o’clock sharp.