Then everything went dark.
Chapter 19
“Holly? Holly? Can you hear me?”
The voice echoed in the distance, sounded like it was coming from the end of a long, hollow tunnel.
Where was I? And why did my head hurt so much? Did my limbs feel heavy? Did my tongue feel like sandpaper? I tried to make sense of things, but everything spun around me. I couldn’t shake the darkness, the hollowness, the fear.
The voice came again. “Holly, I need you to wake up.”
I knew that voice. I’d heard it many times before.
It was Chase.
I desperately wanted to talk to him, to feel his arms around me. But somehow I couldn’t reach him. It was like trying to swim through plasma.
Where was he? Where was I?
And please, Lord, make this pain stop.
The numbing ache wouldn’t go away. It made me want to bury myself in the darkness again.
A groan came from somewhere. Somewhere close.
Me. Had that been me?
Open your eyes, Holly.
I tried to pry them apart using sheer willpower, but they didn’t cooperate.
“She’s coming to!” the familiar voice shouted. Chase shouted.
I sensed movement around me. Some of the tunnel sound disappeared. The voices, the movement . . . it was close. Around me. Practically on top of me.
Something else—some other detail—begged for my attention. It nagged at the back of my mind. Pleaded with me to take notice.
It was a sense of urgency. Of panic. Of despair.
Jonah.
As soon as his name entered my mind, I felt like a bolt of electricity shot through me. I pushed myself up, and my eyes shot open. My thoughts scrambled inside me.
I had to help Jonah. Now.
In a flash, everything came back to me. The intruder posing as a Children’s Services caseworker. The fight. Everything going black.
Jonah.
“It’s okay. Lie back down,” Chase urged, his hands gripping my arms as he knelt on the floor beside me. “You’re going to be okay.”
My eyes hit each of the paramedics around me until falling on Chase again. Worry creased his eyes. Shards of glass surrounded me. Blood trickled on my hands.
“Where’s . . . Jonah?” My words were barely intelligible to my own ears, but Chase understood. I saw it in his eyes.
I also saw the sorrow there.
“Do you remember what happened?” he asked.
One of the EMTs took my pulse and another shined a light in my eyes. I glanced beyond them and saw other first responders swarming the house. I saw a broken vase. Splinters of an old table. A lamp lying on the floor.
Details flooded back to me, each one making me flinch with fear.
As I began to speak, an oxygen mask was strapped over my face. I pushed it away. “A man. Claimed to be a caseworker. Said he came to get Jonah.”
“You realized he was a fake and fought him, didn’t you?” Chase asked.
“Yes.” A sick feeling gurgled in my gut. “Jonah . . .”
“He’s not here, Holly.” His words sounded grim and full of sorrow.
Another groan escaped, and everything spun around me again.
How could I have let this happen?
Before I knew it, everything went black again.
When I woke up next time, I was in the hospital. Chase was still with me, and that concerned expression—one I was all too familiar with—stained his gaze.
He leaned toward me when I opened my eyes, and it was obvious he’d been sitting there for a while.
My gratefulness was quickly pushed away by another emotion—worry. Chase must have seen it because he squeezed my hand.
“Any word on Jonah?”
He shook his head, deep lines on his forehead. “Not yet, Holly. We have everyone looking for him.”
That ache—the one that was quickly becoming familiar—throbbed in my chest. A guttural cry rose down deep.
“Why . . .?” It was the only question my lips could form.
“My guess?” His lips pulled down in a frown, and I could tell he was measuring his words. “Leverage.”
My heart lurched again. People should never be leverage. Especially not babies.
“It was a man at my door.” Had I shared any of those details? I couldn’t remember.
“I know.”
“I just hope Jonah’s okay,” I whispered.
“I know this sounds strange, but the good news is that this man took the baby. If he’d wanted to hurt him, he could have done that without taking him.”
His words brought little comfort. But he was right. Whoever this man was, he wanted Jonah alive.
“Are you okay?” Chase peered at me a moment before running his thumb down the edge of my face.
I was crying, I realized. And he’d wiped away my tears.
How was I? I wasn’t even sure.
“I don’t know what I am at this point,” I finally said. “I’m beside myself. I don’t know how I could have let this happen.”
It was all my fault. I was supposed to be his protector, and I’d failed.
“Listen to me—you didn’t let anything happen, Holly.”
I swung my head back and forth, which made my brain spin. I closed my eyes until my world righted again. Reality hit me again, even harder this time.
“No, you were right, Chase. I should have never taken Jonah out of the house. Maybe the bad guys would never have realized I had him. Maybe he’d be safe right now.” The thought caused a physical ache to form in my heart. An ache of regret, of desperation to change things, to make life right again.
“The chances are that these people would have found him anywhere. Holly, you were almost killed trying to protect him.”
Another guttural sob escaped, and Chase pulled me into his strong arms. I buried myself there, wishing I could find comfort but knowing I didn’t deserve it.
“I should have done more,” I whispered, my voice raspy as tears poured down my cheeks. “This is all my fault.”
“Holly—”
I shook my head. I wasn’t looking for someone to tell me I was innocent or someone to make me feel better. I just needed to confess my sins and pay whatever price I deserved. “You tried to warn me.”
Chase turned my face until I met his eyes. “The one person who’s to blame is the person who snatched him from you. Understand?”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Because I knew the truth. I’d failed.
Before Chase could try to placate me anymore, the doctor walked into the room. It was just as well because there was nothing else to say.
After I’d talked to the doctor and he’d told me about my concussion, as well as some minor scrapes and bruises, he said I could go home in the afternoon. I’d already been here through the night, and a midmorning sun shone in the sky outside my window. Right now, they wanted to keep me for observation.
I’d sent Chase away, insisting he needed to go find Jonah instead of babysitting me. If anyone could do it, it was Chase.
Another detective had stopped by and taken my official statement. Detective Reynolds was from the Special Investigations, and he’d be specifically handling Jonah’s abduction. Chase wasn’t officially working the case, but I knew he’d help out. There was also a good chance the FBI would be called in to help.
My mom and Ralph had shown up to check on me in the meantime and had ended up staying an hour. They’d tried to keep me occupied and take my mind off what had happened. It was no use. Jonah was the only person on my mind.
Was he scared? Was the man who’d snatched him taking good care of him? Where was he now?
Did the man realize that Jonah liked to eat every few hours? Or realize what kind of formula he liked? He got gassy if he drank the wrong one.
I knew Jonah had only been under my care for a few days, but we’d just gotten into our routine. I was finally learning what he liked and what he didn’t.
More tears pushed to my eyes.
Someone knocked at my door. I fully expected to see Alex, but, to my surprise, it was Evan. He had yellow daisies in his hand.
“Come in,” I called, pushing myself up in bed.
He strode into the room and handed me a bouquet of flowers. “For you.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I took them. “Thank you. This was kind.”
“You’re welcome.”
I eyed him for a moment, trying to remember if I’d seen him earlier. The man was definitely handsome and affable. He was obviously assigned the area where I lived because I’d seen him numerous times over the past few days.
“Were you at my house after . . . ?” I couldn’t finish my sentence.
His expression sobered. “I was.”
“So you know what happened?” My throat burned with more intensity with every word.
He nodded. “I do. I’m sorry, Holly. I can’t imagine how you must feel.”
I sucked in a long, shaky breath and tried to compose myself. I really wanted to get out of here. I’d sent everyone else away so I could console myself privately. But Evan was here out of the kindness of his heart, and I couldn’t repay that with rudeness.
“Why do you keep showing up?” I asked. Sure, our paths had crossed a few times. We had a couple of things in common—mainly the fact that we both liked to help others. But it was unusual that he’d gone out of his way like this.
His eyes twinkled and he offered a shallow shrug. “Because you’re lucky.”
My smile dipped. “You know I’m taken, right?” I just had to set the record straight. I realized this could be an awkward conversation, but it needed to be said to clear the air.
Those sparkling eyes locked on mine. “I don’t see a ring on your finger.”
“I’m not that girl, Evan.” I had to put my foot down.
He glanced over his shoulder as if to make sure we were alone. “I hate to see you waiting for a guy like that.”
A rock formed in my gut. Was he talking about Chase? He had to be. I pushed myself up higher, not letting his comment go. “What do you mean ‘a guy like that’?”
“He’s the type that likes to conquer. He likes the thrill of the hunt. He likes winning, and then moving on.”
My heart suddenly leapt into my throat, probably because a small part of me wondered about the truth of his statement. I didn’t want to show Evan that, though. “You don’t know that.”
He let out a cynical laugh. “Of course, I do. That’s why he pours himself into work so much. He wants to win, to be the top dog.”
Don’t let him see your doubt, I told myself. I raised my chin. “Maybe professionally that’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s the case relationally. People are more complex than that.”
He glanced over his shoulder again. For someone who seemed so brave, he was being awfully secretive. “I wasn’t going to show you this. But you should know.”
He pulled out his cell phone and brought up a picture of Chase leaning toward a woman in the dark nighttime hours. He wore jeans and a thick jacket. City lights sparkled in the background, and the woman looked over her shoulder suspiciously.
I looked more closely.
That was the blonde woman. The one who’d been following me. The one I’d seen go into the drugstore.
My heart stammered again, some of my façade crumbling.
I licked my lips. “Why are you showing me this?”
He shrugged. “It looks a little intimate, doesn’t it? Middle of the night. They’re doing the lean.”
I refused to look again to see if he was right. “They could just be whispering.”
“I’ll let you make your own decisions.”
“Why’d you take this picture anyway?”
He shrugged. “I saw it as I was passing a drugstore the other night. It struck me as odd.”
“So you took a picture?” That seemed odd.
“I don’t want to see him treating you poorly. It’s not right.”
“I see.” I licked my lips, unsure what to say.
Evan narrowed his eyes and studied my face. “You’re going to pretend you didn’t see it, aren’t you?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I was on too much medication. I was tired. I was in shock. “I don’t know what I’m going to do next.”
He frowned. “You might hate me now, but at least I did what I thought was right. I can sleep better tonight knowing that.”
With a wave, he walked away.
My mind raced when he was gone. I couldn’t go down this rabbit trail again. I’d been there before. Been at the point where I’d questioned Chase and his actions.
Either I trusted him or I didn’t.
He was involved with police work. That meant that, on occasion, he was going to do things that were secretive. Things I didn’t understand. Things that he couldn’t tell me about.
I could accept that.
I was going to choose to trust him, I decided. To have faith that his actions had an honorable purpose. To believe that he loved me like he said.
I couldn’t let anything make me waver from that.
Because that was one emotional firestorm I never wanted to go through again.
Chapter 20
“What was that about?” Jamie’s gaze followed Evan out the door. “Last I heard, paramedics don’t do rounds in the hospital.”
Of course, she’d shown up right as Evan left.
If there was one thing I could say, it was that I should feel loved. I’d had an endless string of visitors and people who cared about me come through the hospital.
Count your blessings.
I would. Plenty of people out there would love to be in my shoes in that regard. I had people in my life. People who were there for me when I needed them.
But my mind still reeled from the Chase bombshell. What was going on? How much did Chase know that he wasn’t telling me? That he couldn’t tell me?
Trust and let it go, Holly.
That was what I needed to do. After all, I had bigger concerns at the moment—like Jonah.
Some of the initial trauma was wearing off, and a touch of shock had set in, making me feel slightly numb. But my thoughts always came back to one person . . . Jonah.
Dear Lord, be with him.
My heart ached, a physical pain that made me lurch, that could consume me if I let it.
Where was that precious baby now? Was he scared? What if he was hungry? The questions circled around again and again.
Jamie came to stand beside my bed. She stared at me, a mix of curiosity and concern on her face.
I nibbled on my lip a moment. I didn’t even know where to start or what to say. Drama. Everywhere I went there seemed to be drama. All I desired in my life was peace.
So I did what any confused woman would do. I poured everything out to my best friend. Everything.
Halfway through, she pulled up a chair and sat. She leaned back as I finished and wobbled her head back and forth as if her brain was now on overload. “Wow. That’s . . . that’s a lot. Like a lot a lot.”
I nodded. “I know.”
She let out a long, thoughtful breath. “Well, first of all, I know the police are doing everything they can to find Jonah. I have no doubt that you would have given up your life to protect him. You could have easily been killed.”
Why didn’t he kill me? I wondered silently. Why did he keep me alive?
“Second, I really had no doubt that Evan was interested in you. Why else would he have shown up with a gift card at your house and flowers at the hospital? I give him props for being bold.”
Yes, he’d definitely been bold.
“Finally, I’m proud of you for deciding to trust Chase, even after everything Evan said. I know that’s not always easy.”
My throat burned as I considered how to respond. Jamie made me sound a lot better than I actually was. My thoughts were far from linear. “I can’t
do that rollercoaster ride of being uncertain anymore. I feel like our relationship has been like that ever since it began, and I’m tired of it.”
She tilted her head in surprise. “What’s that mean?”
I sighed, deciding I didn’t have the mental energy to go there right now. I needed to sleep first. I needed to find Jonah. Then I’d worry about my love life. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now. Anything except that I want to find Jonah.”
“How do you plan on doing that?”
Determination roiled inside me with a fierceness I knew wouldn’t wane. “I’m going to do a stakeout and figure out exactly what’s going down at 5th and Vine this evening.”
“If you get to leave the hospital in time.”
I glanced at the clock hanging in front of me, and saw that it was five o’clock. “I will. If I have to forge my doctor’s signature on the discharge papers, I will.”
The unfortunate fact was that 5th and Vine just happened to be located in the heart of the city, near Fountain Square, which was always hustling and bustling.
The fortunate part was that I’d been released from the hospital just in time to go home, shower away the hospital grime that covered me, and change into a black outfit that would help me blend in.
The unfortunate part was that I’d seen Jonah’s crib while I’d been home, and cried.
The fortunate part was that someone had cleaned up the broken lamp and the plaster that chipped from the wall when the door flung open. A piece of crime-scene tape still swayed in the wind on the porch—a simple but effective reminder of what had happened. It propelled me to action. If someone thought I was going to be bullied, they were wrong.
Jamie and I parked in a nearby garage, wandered down the city sidewalk, and found a bench against a nearby restaurant. We camped out there. Though it had to look over-the-top cheesy, the only disguise we had been able to think of that wouldn’t be too obvious was none other than a . . . newspaper.
Chase knew about this meeting site, and I feared he might show up and see me. I had a feeling he’d probably send patrol around the area to look for any signs of trouble. The lead was so vague that it was almost not a lead at all. But when it was all you had, it was all you had.
Random Acts of Greed: Holly Anna Paladin Mysteries, Book 4 Page 13