“Nee, I didn’t mean that. I meant if you were looking for a second husband, a woman just like you would be appealing.” It meant the same thing; he’d just reworded it slightly. He licked his lips. “Would it be too soon if you and I spent some time together? Simply for companionship?”
This was moving too fast and she regretted going along with Magda’s silliness. She had to get away and come up with a new strategy that didn’t involve deceit. “What about Zelda?”
“She chose to leave because she didn’t get what she wanted when she wanted it. She was a spoilt child. We’ve both had recent losses, you and me. We can console each other.”
Anger welled within her. Malachi’s death couldn’t be compared to Zelda walking out on him. “Okay.” She fixed a smile on her face and rose to her feet. “I should get back to the farm, so I can work as soon as the rain stops.”
He stood. “Before you leave …”
She turned around to face him. “Jah.”
“You look lovely today.”
A girlish giggle escaped her lips. It was a quite an unexpected thing to hear. “Denke.”
“Do you have some free time on Saturday? There’s a piece of land I’m considering buying and I never like going on long car journeys alone.”
“You’re going by car?”
“Jah, it’s forty miles from here, so I’ve had to hire a car and driver.”
Getting out of the area sounded good.
“Come with me. We could have lunch after we see the land.”
She had no idea why he was looking at land, and more so, land so far away. “That sounds lovely. What time will you collect me?”
“A little after nine.”
She gave him a big smile as she walked out the door. “I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter 10
Back at the potato farm, Jeanie found her mother-in-law in the wet fields. Once she saw Werner was even further in the distance, she stomped over to her mother-in-law. “I can’t believe you’re making me … sell myself like this.”
Magda stood, wiped her brow and then a look of delight covered her face. “It worked?”
“Jah, we have a date on Saturday. Can you believe it? A date when I’ve only just buried my husband.” Jeanie shook her head. “He’s turning in his grave right now.”
“He’s not in his grave. He’s by Jesus’s side looking down on us.”
“It’s just an expression, Magda, meaning he’d heartily disapprove and I’d rather him not have been looking down on me this last hour. He’d be trying to figure out who this person is that I’ve become. The worst thing is it might not have been necessary.”
“Why?”
“Zelda left him. She’s gone.”
Magda’s mouth dropped open.
“It’s true. She left him and she’s gone back to Ohio.”
Magda’s face lit up. “Keep doing what you’re doing. She’ll be back, and she’ll be more forceful than ever if she knows you like him.”
“You can’t know that.”
Nodding, Magda said, “I do. Going away was a ploy. She’s pulling on his heartstrings, trying to have him miss her. It was the wrong move for her to make. She should’ve stayed and put pressure on him.”
“Aren’t I doing the same thing, putting on pressure?”
“Jah.”
Jeanie sighed. “I’ll get changed and come back and help you.” Exhausted, she fell into the armchair as soon as she entered the house. She’d lost her way and Magda wasn’t helping. The fact that she enjoyed Amos’s company bothered her and so too did the compliment he’d given her. It was because of those things she felt guilty. It was all wrong.
Magda walked into the room and sat down beside her. “The crops aren’t as bad as we thought.”
“I don’t know how that could be true.”
“It is, though. Even though Zelda’s gone we can’t leave things to chance. If you marry him, we’ll have what Malachi wanted us to have — a secure future.”
“Gott is our security. With Him as the center of our lives whatever we do will prosper. We don’t need the farm.”
“Don’t you see that it’s Gott who’s giving us the chance to hold onto it? He rewards those who work for things and those who are diligent.” Magda’s green eyes widened with intensity.
“Does he reward people for fooling others?”
“Who are you fooling?”
“Amos, of course.”
“Nee, you’ll marry him if he asks.”
Jeanie laughed. “I won’t. I won’t marry anyone else.”
“You will. You’ll get lonely. That’s why I married Werner’s vadder. It wasn’t for love.”
She recalled that Werner and Malachi didn’t have the same father, but Malachi had grown up with Peter as the only father he’d ever known. “How old was Malachi when his vadder died?” She knew he’d been very young.
“Only one.”
“That’s sad.”
“It was, but like everything in life, time eases memories and softens wounds.”
“I hope so. I don’t want to feel like this forever. I can’t imagine things will ever be different. I hope the pain in my heart lessens.”
“Trust me, it will. I married a second time to give Malachi a vadder. I never regretted that decision and I grew to love him in a different kind of way.”
Jeanie shook her head. “I didn’t know.”
“I never told anyone I didn’t love him as much as I did my first husband. It made my life easier too. It was nice for me to have a man to look after.” Magda shook her head. “Look at me now. Working hard in the fields.”
“You don’t need to work hard. We can employ someone else. We have the money to do that.”
Magda smiled a little impishly. “I know. I like to do it. It just sounded good.”
“Jah, and these days women look after themselves.”
“You’ve still got your Englisch mind in there. I said it was nice for me to have a man to look after. I didn’t say to be looked after.”
“Ach.” Jeanie pouted. “I don’t think that way …”
“You do. Everyone needs someone and that’s all in Gott’s plan. Every man needs his help meet.”
“That may be so. Who knows?”
Magda shook her head at her. “Now, I thought you were coming out to help? We can’t let Werner do it all on his own.”
“I’m coming. I’ve been so tired lately. I just need a little rest.”
Magda leaned over and kissed her on her cheek. “Don’t look so stressed. Everything will work out.”
Jeanie nodded. The pair of them were a good team. When one was down, the other managed to pull her up.
Chapter 11
“Why are you looking at this land?” It was Saturday and Jeanie stood next to Amos as he looked over the barren landscape.
“Land’s getting scarce and this land is inexpensive. They’re not making more land you know.” He chuckled.
“I guess they’re not. Unless we can all move to Mars, or something. This might be cheap because it’s in the middle of nowhere and no one wants it. There are no stores, nothing.”
He laughed. “All the towns are expanding because of the population growth. And there are jobs in the area.”
She curled her lip as he looked away from her. She hadn’t seen much expansion going on. Maybe in a hundred years or so, things would expand, but they’d all be dead and gone by then. “Jah, but there’s nothing around here right now.”
“I’ll just buy it and hang onto it.”
It seemed like a dreadful waste to her unless he was getting it for next to nothing, but it was his money to do with what he wanted. With her hands on her hips, she looked around them once more. “You know something? It reminds me of a potato farm I saw once.”
He laughed again. “Your potato farm?”
“Jah, before we made a success out of it.”
“Except this piece of land doesn’t come with a haus,” he pointed out.
> “Only because no one wants to live out here.”
He chuckled. “With you around, I could save a wagon full of money.”
“I guess I’m conservative when it comes to parting with dollars and I don’t like waste. I guess that’s because of my bookkeeping training with every dollar having to be accounted for.”
“I should get you to do some work for me.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure you’ve already got a lot of people much better trained than me looking after your finances.”
He smiled and looked around at the land. “There’s the southern boundary. That clump of trees by the river. Someday that could be a nice spot for a haus, don't you think?”
He liked what he saw. That was obvious by the look on his face. “I don't know without going over there. It seems you already have your heart set on it and you would know more about these things than I do. Don’t let me stop you from buying it. You’ll blame me if it becomes valuable in a few years. Maybe they’ll find oil or gold.” She giggled about the wasteland ever becoming valuable.
“We’ll see. I’ll only buy it if I get it for the right money and with my terms.”
The wicked side of her raised its head and she nearly suggested putting Zelda and her brothers out here, but hopefully, that problem no longer existed.
“We should have lunch. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.” She had barely touched breakfast but now that empty stomach was gnawing away at her.
The land was so far from where they lived, too far for any horse to get them there. It seemed an expensive day out to hire that big car and the driver, but Amos hadn’t flinched about the money.
As they sat in the backseat of the car, Jeanie compared how peaceful it was in a buggy listening to the horse’s hooves in comparison to the constant mechanical hum and the speed of the car. She'd forgotten how much she used to dislike riding in a car. The buggy quieted her mind the same way as when she said a prayer. She certainly felt much closer to God in a horse and buggy than she did whizzing about in a car.
“It’s nice to get away from the farm and everything.” She wanted to say from all the worries and the pressures, until she remembered Amos had caused most of them. Maybe all of them, except for the frosts.
“What would you have been doing on the farm today?”
She’d be at the farm helping Werner do damage control, but she didn’t want to focus on that. “Just what I usually do. Working in the fields and then doing bookwork at night. That’s what my day usually looks like. Magda helps out with everything and she’s the main person who does the cooking and looks after us all.”
“It must be hard without —”
“It is hard without him. It is.”
“I wasn’t going to say, 'Without Malachi.' I’m sorry.” He looked down.
“Oh, nee, I’m the one who’s sorry.” Malachi was always on her mind.
“I was thinking you might often consider how much easier things would be with technology if you’d be allowed to use any. With you being raised outside the community.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “You know, I have never given it much thought. It’s been years since I joined the Amish and my old life is so far behind me that I barely remember it.” The car pulled up in front of a restaurant. “Is this where we’re having lunch?”
“Jah, I’ve been here before. You’ll like it.”
It looked a little too grand and she knew she’d feel uncomfortable. People would look at them in their Amish clothes and she never liked being stared at. “You’ve been here before?”
“Jah.”
She wondered if he’d been there with Zelda.
* * *
In her heart, she felt like she was betraying Malachi, but then she remembered for whom she was doing it. It was for Malachi and his family. She pushed everything out of her mind and focused on Amos. The waitress showed them to a table by the window and Amos stepped forward and pulled out Jeanie’s chair.
“Denke,” she said, as she sat. He took a seat opposite and then they were handed menus. When the waitress left Jeanie leaned forward. “I feel out of place here.”
“Don't worry about it. I felt like that too the first time I came here. Just relax and enjoy the food.”
She chose the plainest thing on the menu because she now felt a little wave of queasiness. Or might she just be hungry?
They discussed the food as they looked at the menu, while Jeanie wanted to talk about anything but food. When they’d given their order, he sat and stared at her.
She giggled a little. “What?”
“It's nice to be here with you like this.”
“It is good to have a day away from the farm.”
He rearranged the items on the table. “Is farm life too stressful for you?”
“Nee, I enjoy it. I enjoy watching the crops grow and seeing all our hard work pay off.”
“Jah, I imagine it would be rewarding.”
When their meals came, Jeanie suddenly didn’t feel hungry. She thought she’d ordered something quite different. The chicken and mushroom meal was covered in a gravy-like sauce. It turned her stomach. Knowing it cost a lot of money, she knew she’d have to eat it.
“This looks good,” Jeanie said, as she picked up a fork.
“Everything I’ve tried here is good.”
They sat, ate and talked for an hour and a half. It was effortless talking with him except when they were speaking of the farm. It seemed they were of the same opinion about every subject that was mentioned.
* * *
When he brought her home, she opened the car door. “Are you really going to buy that land?”
“Do you think I should?”
She shook her head. “Nee.”
“I’ll give it some thought. You have turned me off it a little.”
Jeanie giggled. “Buy it then or you’ll blame me if they strike oil.”
He shook his head and grinned. “What would I do with all that money?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m happy with my life the way it is. I had a good day with you today, Jeanie. You’re pleasing company. It was the best day I’ve had for as long as I can remember.”
She was flattered; that meant he preferred her company over Zelda’s, which made her happy. “Denke. I had a nice time too.”
He leaned forward. “How about we do this again sometime? Next time I won’t look at land or do any business type stuff. It’ll be just the two of us doing something …”
“Something fun?”
He chuckled. “If you like. I’ll think of something. Can I see you again next Saturday?”
On Saturdays she normally worked on the farm, but Magda would urge her to accept his offer. Besides, she wanted to see him again. Being with him had given her a good rest from the daily pressures of life. “I’d like that.”
“Me too. I’ll walk you to the door.”
Chapter 12
For the next few weeks, Jeanie and Amos saw each other every single Saturday. Mostly they stayed at his place and picnicked on the riverbank with Jasper running around. On his land, they were away from prying eyes and judgemental stares. It was so close to Malachi’s death and not everyone would’ve approved of the budding relationship.
* * *
It had also become a habit that Magda woke Jeanie of a morning.
Jeanie sat up as Magda handed her a tray of breakfast. “Denke. This looks good. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so tired all the time.”
Her mother-in-law stared into her face. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“Nee, I’ve not had morning sickness.”
“Not everyone does.”
Jeanie counted back months and weeks, the time since Malachi’s death. It was possible, but unlikely since she'd been married for years and she had never gotten pregnant, not once. “I’m not.”
“Are you sure?”
“Mm-hmm. Quite sure. Most likely I just need a tonic or something. I thin
k I'm a little run down.”
Her mother-in-law sat down on the bed beside her. “Me too. I’ll take some of that tonic when you get it. I'm feeling the same. Although, I’ve felt like this every day for years.”
Jeanie giggled. “We’re a great pair you and I. Just as well Werner has a lot of energy right now to make up for us. No one ever had the energy of Malachi. He was the fullest of life person I’ve ever known.”
As her mother-in-law talked about her sons, all Jeanie could think about was if she might be pregnant. Could it be possible after five childless years of marriage?
* * *
Late that afternoon, Jeanie slipped away from the fields and called the community midwife from the phone in the barn and asked her to come see her the following afternoon. She knew her mother-in-law would be out at a quilting bee and Werner would think nothing of a visitor stopping by. She would not get her hopes up. The chance of her being pregnant with her late husband’s child was slim.
Jeanie stared at Sandra, the community’s midwife, after she’d told her of her symptoms, trying to read the expression on her face. “So, what do you think?”
“There’s one sure way to know.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a plastic packet. Then she ripped it open. “Pee on this.”
Jeanie grimaced and took the stick from her. “Is that the only way to know?”
“There are other ways but at the early stage this is over ninety nine percent accurate. After this section’s fully wet, leave it for three minutes and if the two pink lines cross you’re pregnant. If only one line remains you’re not.”
Jeanie nodded and walked through to the bathroom.
“I’ll be waiting right outside. Tell me when you’ve done it and I’ll set my stopwatch for three minutes.”
Jeanie did what she had been told to do, which she found quite difficult because she was so nervous. Then she stared at the stick. “Okay, start the timer.”
The Amish Potato Farmer's Widow Page 5