No matter how much it hurt him, he needed to be strong for the both of them because he knew Emelia would always be around him, wanting him, if he let her. Something had to be done to put a stop to it—to put a stop to the tortured feelings between them.
“That can’t happen again, Emelia,” he started, and had to take a moment to breathe and get himself under control because he wanted to shout. He wanted to let his anger at the unfairness of their situation spill out for the world to see, but he couldn’t…and, in the end, he didn’t. He drew in a deep breath, the words coming out on a sigh that showed how exhausted and tortured he was. “You know why this is so wrong. We need to stay away from each other.” He fought to hide his emotions before he opened his mouth again. “You need to find someone else. Someone who will...love you,” his voice cracked.
No one will ever love you as much as I do.
Emelia stumbled into the wall as she tried to back away from him, tears flowing freely down her pale face. “You’ll always be the man I love, Dante,” she whispered. “I get where you’re coming from...but it hurts more being away from you than it does being with you.”
“Dammit, Emelia.” In a blink of an eye, he stood in front of her with her face cupped in the palms of his hands. “Don’t.” He brushed her tears away with his thumbs. “We both need to move on and, as much as it kills me to say that, we don’t have a choice...I’ll always love you.” He kissed her forehead, and lingered while he breathed her in. “I’m leaving. I don’t want to, but it’s what I have to do.”
He breathed deeply and walked away from her as Emelia’s sobs followed him all the way to his bedroom.
He closed and locked the door, and leaned against it with his heart in pieces. And while he was in the seclusion of his room, he finally did something that he hadn’t done since his mother died…he let his tears fall.
He was in purgatory.
Chapter Two
Emelia lay curled up on her large window seat amongst the cushions and blankets while she’d watched everyone else come and go in the yard below. She’d even watched as Dante carried a large bag to his rental and leave before the others were up.
After Dante had left her downstairs, she’d lost track of time until daylight had started to seep through the curtains, which was when she’d retreated to her bedroom with her heart in pieces—just like she thought Dante’s was in.
While she’d been growing up, the family had talked about how religious Dante was, but the day he’d called to inform his father he was going into the priesthood had devastated her. The call had come two weeks after she’d initiated the kiss on her birthday.
She’d done everything she could think of back then to talk to him and tell him the truth about her birth. After all else had failed, she’d finally written him a letter, which she knew he hadn’t read because he was still convinced that they were siblings through blood.
As time went on, Emelia had convinced herself that it was for the best that he had no idea about her because he seemed happy in the church. But then they’d have family get-togethers and the connection that she’d felt all those years ago would be stronger than ever.
A part of her did regret not making him listen to her, because if she had then, perhaps, he wouldn’t be as tortured knowing that she wasn’t his sister by blood. But another part of her worried that his connection with God was stronger than his love for her, and that terrified her.
But while she hid away in her room, her heart heavy with sorrow, she had no idea as to how to move forward without Dante in her life.
She couldn’t see a path for herself…couldn’t imagine the days spent at home with her mother fixing her up with every eligible bachelor she met. She couldn’t turn up on Dante’s doorstep again because that would create even more destruction of her heart…especially after last night.
She had other brothers, the luxury of coming from a large family, but she didn’t know who she could turn to. Her brother Eric had just gotten engaged to Sylvia, and knowing him, the wedding would be quickly arranged so she couldn’t stay with him.
Her brother Aiden was living at home for the time being, so she couldn’t go and hang in Europe with him. Kasey lived like a pig and always tried to annoy her, which really only left her twin, Diego.
She loved all her brothers, but she was obviously the closest to Diego, who was a firefighter in New York. He also had a revolving door of women. That would have to stop while she stayed with him, though. He wouldn’t like it, but she had enough on him to make him do her bidding.
At least with her work she could do it from anywhere with a connection to the Internet. She loved to read, and write reviews for the books that she read. It was a passion of hers that she’d do in her spare time. Her paid job was looking after the social media for her family’s horse farm in Montana. She was responsible for the website, and would deal with any inquiries that they received from it. She updated it nearly every other day along with all the social media accounts.
It had been difficult for her to begin with because her father hadn’t wanted to be brought into the twenty-first century. He was happy now, and constantly asked her questions about it.
Not that they’d been struggling for business before, but because of their social media sites, they’d received new business, which increased yearly. Each one of her six siblings held a share in the farm and their yearly payout was always enough for her to live off for the following year, and then some.
Which was why she was serious about going spending time with her brother. Diego made her smile, so perhaps that was what she needed—her man-whore brother.
As though she’d conjured him up, Diego stood just inside her bedroom door. Her locked bedroom door.
“Hey, Sis.” He grinned, which slipped as he really looked at her. “What’s wrong with you?”
Emelia sighed at his words. He knew her well. “Nothing that a visit with you in New York won’t cure.” Well, nothing would cure what she suffered from, but at least she’d be far away from her heartache.
“Me?”
She just managed to move her feet before Diego dropped his ass down in the window seat with her, and answered what her brother probably hoped would be no, with a, “Yes.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position and glanced out of the window. “I need to make some changes,” she shrugged, and faced Diego, “and to do that, I need to be able to think. So I figured, as I’m closest to you, that I’d head back with you to New York.”
Diego looked worried, which gave her pause. She certainly didn’t want to screw up his life, although she hoped it would calm his libido down, which she really didn’t want to think about.
“Okay.”
“Okay? Is that all you have to say?”
“What else do you want me to say?” Diego frowned. “You’re my sister, Emelia, so you can come and live with me while you get yourself sorted...there is one condition though.”
She groaned and hit his thigh with her foot when he smirked.
“What condition?”
“Before you leave my place, you have to tell me what’s going on with you...and Dante.” He watched her through hooded eyes, but she stayed silent. “I have eyes and there’s something.”
“I can’t promise anything,” she admitted, biting her lower lip, “but I’m determined to stop being the wanderlust sister, and look to the future instead of living in the past.”
Diego shook his head. “I have no fucking clue as to what you mean, but it certainly sounds good.”
She smiled and reached out to him. Without any hesitation, Diego intertwined his fingers with hers. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For being you. For always being here for me.”
“Emelia, you’re my twin, why wouldn’t I always be here for you?”
Emelia gave him a soft smile, and moved to curl up in his lap. “I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself today. I love you, you know that?”
“I love you too, Sis.” He kiss
ed her on the forehead. “But, do you think we can stop being mushy, otherwise, I’m going to have to check if my balls are still attached.”
“Eww, Diego.” She smacked his thigh as he chuckled against her. “I can’t believe you went there.”
“Yes, you can.” He chuckled and cuddled her closer. “Emelia?” he whispered against the top of her head. “If you ever need to talk, you know I’m here, right? I mean right here. Always.”
She loved her brother so much, and wished that she could talk to him about Dante, and about what she overheard all those years ago. But she remembered what it felt like to realize that the man who’d raised her as his own was not her father, and she didn’t want to be the cause of Diego’s pain when, or if, he ever found out.
Chapter Three
Dante had been back in Frederick, Colorado for a few days when he opened his front door, after persistent knocking, to find his brother Mateo, with bag in hand.
Mateo met his gaze, grinned and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Dante snorted and pulled his brother into a hug. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
None of his brothers were saints, so he knew, without a doubt, that he’d be in the confessional for a heck of a long time if one of them ever really wanted to confess before him and God.
“You won’t find me in there, brother,” Mateo nodded toward the church and stepped inside Dante’s home, “but I don’t mind shooting the shit with you.” He closed the door, and added with a hopeful look on his tanned face, “Over coffee and cake.”
Dante chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Now I know that it isn’t me you’ve come to visit. You just want to eat the cake that Barbara has made.”
“Of course I have. Why would I want to come and see you?” Mateo dropped his bag, and wrapped his arm around him as they walked toward the kitchen, and the fresh smell of baking.
“And there she is,” Mateo announced. “The woman I’m going to marry.”
Dante shoved him away playfully, knowing that Mateo made Barbara’s day when he flirted with her.
Barbara insisted on coming to his home every day to bake and tidy up for him. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings by telling her that he was capable of doing everything himself, so he gave in.
She looked to be close to eighty, and he knew that she was lonely, especially after losing her husband a few years ago.
Mateo winked at him before going over to Barbara. He kissed her cheek and snatched one of the cupcakes she was busy icing.
“You’re looking mighty fine this morning, Barbara. My brother looking after you?”
He hid his smile at the blush on Barbara’s face as Mateo continued to flirt.
“Oh, you hush up, young man.” Barbara swatted his hand away when he went to grab another cake. “At least me being here keeps all the young ladies away,” she gave Dante a reproachful glance, even though he was completely innocent—he didn’t notice the women in his congregation. “Pfft, that Miranda and Marie, the two M&M’s, they’d make a bishop sin.”
Dante’s brows nearly reached his hairline, and one look at his brother had Mateo roaring with laughter. “The two M&M’s, huh?” Mateo commented.
“I’m sorry, Father,” Barbara looked sheepish, “but you’ve seen them, and you couldn’t get away quick enough when they had you cornered in church the other week.”
Mateo wiped at his tears of amusement. “That I have to see.”
He needed to change the subject. “So, what’s brought you here, without your fiancée, I might add?”
At least that got rid of the amusement on Mateo’s face, even if Dante did have a twinge of regret for dampening his brother’s spirit.
“She’s doing something with her own family, so I thought I’d come and hang with you before we head to Ramon’s wedding.” Mateo dropped into a chair and warmed his hands on the cup of coffee that Barbara had just poured. “I need . . .” he paused and glanced at Barbara, “I just need a break.”
Dante stared at his brother and nodded. He knew what his brother meant because he to needed a break. He needed to be away from his family home and his church to think clearly without constant interruptions.
The hole in his heart was still there, and he feared it would never be whole again. He’d picked his cell up to text Emelia so many times that he’d eventually lost count, but he’d asked for her to go and live her life. It would kill him to see her with someone else, to know that she loved another man, but it was what she had to do. It was something that he had to let her do with his blessing no matter how much it hurt him.
He’d thought that running to the church all those years ago was the cure for his passion for his sister, but it wasn’t. It did help him back then, but he thought that probably had more to do with them being apart than anything else. Unfortunately, for the past few years, Emelia had visited him on and off and it made his craving worse than ever. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask her to leave, or to ask her not to visit, until a few days ago.
The tears on Emelia’s face had hurt him, and he knew that he was in too deep with her.
When he joined the church, he’d kept his past sins concerning Emelia buried. It didn’t matter how ‘encouraged’ he’d been to repent them—they’d been something that he kept locked away from the world. But, recently, he’d spent a great deal of time kneeled before the altar in his church while he prayed for absolution...which had yet to come.
“When are you leaving for Lexington?” Mateo asked, breaking into his thoughts while he finally took the seat Barbara urged him into.
“Two days.”
“Okay, message me your flight details and I’ll book on the same flight.” Mateo drained his cup of coffee, and had to stop Barbara from filling it again. “I’m fine for now.” He smiled and she blushed, again.
“I’ll let you two be, and go and dust in the living room.”
Dante watched her go, then turned to look at his brother. “She’s great, but I wish she wouldn’t fuss over me so much,” he whispered.
“She obviously enjoys looking after you, so let her. It probably gives her something to do.”
“That’s why I’ve kept my mouth shut...what gets me is that she won’t take anything for everything she does around here.”
Mateo offered a wry smile. “She loves taking care of the priest. Let her be.”
“I do like having her around because it stops unwanted visitors, and she adores Emelia.”
“She obviously hasn’t been around Emelia when she has PMS.” Mateo chuckled.
Dante stayed silent and would have cursed himself for mentioning Emelia if he actually cursed.
“She’s not that bad,” he admitted for something to say.
“Yeah, right?” Mateo scoffed. “You have blinders on with our baby sister. I’m telling you that she has one hell of a temper.” He shuddered. “The little spitfire scares me when she gets started, and yeah, if that makes me a pussy so be it.” Mateo stood to look out the back window.
Dante watched his brother, and grappled with his emotions. He shouldn’t ask but he needed to know, “How is Emelia?”
Mateo glanced at him over his shoulder, and told him, “She went to New York with Diego. She doesn’t know yet, but Diego has a friend who he’s going to try and set her up with.”
Dante’s heart dropped to his feet at Mateo’s information before he felt his anger rise. “How can he set her up with one of his friends...Seriously Mateo? We all know what a revolving door Diego has and his friends aren’t much different.”
Mateo shook his head and followed Dante with his eyes as he paced back and forth. “Calm down. He isn’t like Diego. Apparently, his friend is very selective about who he fucks—his words not mine—and he’s looking for someone to settle down with. Diego said he’s the only guy he’d trust with his twin.” Mateo grinned. “Fingers crossed, she’ll be out of your hair soon. No more unexpected visits followed by her refusal to leave.”
Dante didn’
t know how to respond because his jealousy knew no bounds. His hands flexed into fists at his sides, and his breathing came out sharp and choppy. He thought he was having a heart attack with the pain that lanced through his chest.
“Hey, are you okay?” Mateo frowned, and stepped toward him.
Dante stepped back. “I’m fine...make yourself at home. I have somewhere else to be.”
With those words spoken, Dante walked straight out of the house and got behind the wheel of his truck. He turned the ignition on and pulled out of his drive; he had no idea where he was going—he just drove.
Chapter Four
“You are seriously driving me crazy, Em,” Diego growled while Emelia dashed around the kitchen scrubbing the countertops clean.
“You’re a pig and I’m cleaning before I cook in here,” Emelia shot back. “And, what the hell is up with ‘Em’? You have never abbreviated my name...ever!”
“Well, I feel like doing it now.” He leaned, with a smug grin, against the fridge and watched.
She knew he was trying to make her stop and give up, or laugh at how ridiculous she was being, but she felt filled with anger ever since she’d really thought about Dante and what he’d said.
The more she thought about him telling her to find someone else, the more she saw red. As though she was a piece of meat to be tossed around for others to sample.
Ugh!
No way would he make the decision for her.
“I also think if you’re going to be staying here that you need to refrain from calling me names, Em.”
She glared over her shoulder at her brother.
“Emelia, dear,” he said in a perfect imitation of their mother.
She turned away so that he wouldn’t see the amusement on her face.
“Okay,” Diego grabbed the cleaning cloth from her hand, grabbed her hips, and sat her in front of him on the countertop, “that’s enough.”
Love in Purgatory (De La Fuente #2) Page 2