Love in Purgatory (De La Fuente #2)

by Lexi Buchanan

  Dante gasped and quickly kissed her lips before he jumped from the bed. “Don’t move.” He ran to the bathroom and, hardly a minute later, reappeared with a washcloth. “Even if it hadn’t been your first time, I’d have cleaned you up.” Which is what he did, and then placed a kiss to her mound before he tossed the cloth into the bathroom.

  “Mmm,” he sighed. “I love these.” He kissed each nipple before he pulled her into his arms as their legs entwined and Emelia rested her head against his shoulder.

  Emelia felt content in Dante’s embrace, and the feel of his bare skin against hers distracted her from the discomfort between her legs. They were as one now and she was determined that nothing and no one would come between them, even if she didn’t feel as confident about that as she’d like.

  “What are you thinking about?” Dante asked, caressing her back.

  “You.”

  She felt him smile against the top of her head and tipped her head up to meet his gaze. “Am I really yours? Are you really going to give up the church for me? Because if you’re not, you need to tell me now.”

  He covered her lips with his finger. “I love you, Em. The only reason we haven’t been together before is because I ran to the church when I thought what I felt for you was wrong. So wrong. But knowing that it wasn’t wrong at all makes me angry, and not just because we could have been together. It makes me angry because I could have had a different relationship with my father and your mother. I know we get on okay now, but it took years to get where we are today, and that pisses me off.”

  “I’m sorry you were lied to, and I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to tell you the truth back then.”

  “It was my own fault. I wouldn’t answer your calls, and I never read the letter you sent. I was adamant that I wouldn’t have anything to do with you. I figured it was the only way to deal with what had happened—by ignoring it. I didn’t forget though. How could I? So my answer is yes. I willingly will give up my position in the church, and I won’t ever look back.”

  “How do you know that? What if in years to come you have regrets and blame me?”

  He shook his head. “No. Don’t ever think that. You aren’t listening to me. I only ran to the church because I thought I was in love with my sister. I thought that I was committing a sin and the only way to absolve was to give my life to God. Back then, I thought it was so wrong and didn’t know how to deal with what I felt for you when I thought it wasn’t allowed. I will never regret leaving the church for you. And really, I’m leaving for me as well.

  “My dream, as you might remember, was to have my own restaurant, and I still have the money from the sale of the one I was in the process of setting up. So I can do that, but I want to do it in a way that means I can still help the community wherever we decide to settle—an outreach program or something. But Emelia, I’ll be happy as long as you’re by my side.”

  Emelia smiled through her tears. “I wasn’t sure you’d be able to give the church up, but as long as you’re doing it for you as well, then I’ll accept that.”

  “Good.”

  “My only worry now is our family. I wish I knew how they’d react, but I don’t. It’s worrisome.”

  Dante sighed. “We’ll think about that when we need to. Let’s just enjoy our time together.”

  “Mmm. I’ve waited years for you.” Emelia snuggled closer and couldn’t mistake his hard arousal that pulsed against her hip. “You have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we won’t be making up for lost time for a few days. I need you to be completely healed, as much as it’s going to frustrate me.”

  She giggled. “I’m sure we can be creative as to what we can do.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Be creative, Emelia suggested. Oh, Dante could be creative when he wanted to be, and he was glad that Emelia was on board.

  He’d gone from no sex for seven years to having sex on the brain as he pulsed with arousal against Emelia. Her scent filled his senses to the point that she was all he could smell. Her skin was like silk beneath his fingers, and he craved touching her.

  But he hadn’t lied about not making up for lost time until she’d healed, which gave him the idea for a bath. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and whispered, “I’m going to run us a bath…it’ll help. I promise.” He kissed her again, and slipped from the bed, but not before he noticed the smile playing around Emelia’s lips.

  He forced his eyes from her. All he wanted to do was climb back on the bed and hold her, but she needed taking care of so he moved his ass to the bathroom. The tub in his cabin was Jacuzzi style, which would be good to help with the tenderness that Emelia must feel. He had no experience with caring for someone after their first time, but he’d be damned if he didn’t pamper the woman he loved.

  When he thought about going back to Montana to announce to their family that he was leaving the priesthood, and the reason why, he felt nauseous. Albeit, Emelia wasn’t the sole reason for his decision, she was certainly the deciding factor.

  Switching the jets on now that enough water was in the tub, he walked back out and smiled when he caught Emelia lying on her side, facing him. He knew with every breath he took that he would never regret leaving the church for the woman who held his heart, body, and soul.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, sounding sleepy.

  He moved closer and picked her up into his arms. “I’m just fine.” He smiled softly. “Your bath awaits.”

  “You’re going to join me, right?”

  “I am.”

  In the bathroom, he climbed into the tub with Emelia in his arms, and kept her wrapped up in him until he was settled. Then he rearranged his girl so that she rested against his chest, between his legs. His arms around her stomach, anchoring them together.

  The arousal she caused him was nothing compared to the pleasure of having her in his arms like she was. Her trust in him was total, just like his was for her.

  As he reached for a sponge, Emelia chuckled, which had him smiling. “You’re aroused?”

  “I am. This bath, though, is to help with the tenderness you must be feeling between your legs.” He let the sponge go and used some Aloe Vera soap on his hands, as he slipped them over her stomach to settle on her trimmed mound.

  “Mmm, that feels so nice,” she mumbled.

  He grinned against the top of her head, and slipped his fingers between the lips of her pussy in a gentle caress. “Tell me if my touch is uncomfortable…be honest, Em. I couldn’t help hurting you inside, but I don’t want to hurt you again.”

  Emelia took his hand that lay against her stomach and brought it up to her mouth, where she placed a gentle kiss on the palm. “The pain of your touch while I’m so sensitive is nothing like the pain of wanting you, and not being able to be with you.”

  His breath caught at the back of his throat as his lips pressed a deep kiss to the top of her head. He couldn’t control the emotion that her admission brought so he stayed silent until he was settled. He could show her though.

  He dipped his head down, nuzzled into the side of her neck, and let his fingers slip toward her opening. Emelia caught her breath at his touch so he hesitated, but she wrapped her hand around his wrist and urged him to go on.

  “Are you sure?” he whispered.

  “Yes.”

  He kept his face buried in her neck while he lathered his hands up with the moisturizing soap, and gently massaged around her opening.

  She enjoyed his touch and spread her legs slightly. The soft sigh that escaped her lips was all he needed to assure him that he wasn’t causing her pain.

  “I hurt as well, Em,” he admitted quietly. “Not being with you hurt, but it felt so wrong, and that made the hurt worse.” He brought his hand back up and held her tightly in his arms while they enjoyed the sensation of the Jacuzzi, and each other.

  Minutes went by as they soaked in a comfortable silence before Emelia broke into his thoughts, and
asked, “When are we going to tell our family?”

  He winced, not really wanting to go there, but they didn’t have much choice. “I want to spend the two nights here with you before I have to head back for Mass on Tuesday evening. Then I’m going to make an appointment with the bishop, and talk to him about my leaving. It isn’t going to go down too well with him. He’s known me from before I became a priest…but knowing that I finally have the one person that I thought I never could is enough for me to go forward with what he suggests. I’ll be totally honest with him.”

  Emelia turned and, with some maneuvering, straddled his thighs and caressed along his arms. “I’ll always be here to support you. You know that right?”

  “I know.” He smiled and caressed her face. “There is the possibility that the bishop may petition Rome on my behalf to have my ordination vows severed. The Signatura, otherwise known as the Supreme Court of the Vatican, are the ones who would receive the request.” He couldn’t keep the worry from his face, when he added, “We have to be prepared that nothing will be done. It’s the Vatican, Em, and anything like my case could end up in the trash. They may never free me from my vows.” The more he thought about it, the more worried he was. He would still leave if he was refused, but he wouldn’t be allowed to marry. They’d had enough to worry about over the years, surely fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to refuse his request.

  “You’re more worried than you want me to know.”

  He sighed, pulled her against him, and delighted with the feel of her against him.

  “A bit. It’s a big step so I expect the bishop will have something to say, but I want you, Emelia. I’ve been without you for years, too long, and a lifetime without you is unbearable. You’re inside me, here.” He reached up and pressed the palm of his hand against his heart. “You’ll always be in here, no matter what.” He kissed her on the forehead.

  Emelia leaned forward and kissed him over his heart before she met his gaze. “I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, make no mistake about that.”

  “I won’t…but, let’s wait until I’ve spoken to the bishop before we head to Montana. I want to be able to give them answers, and right now I don’t know how to answer them.”

  “It makes sense…I wish I knew how everyone would take you leaving the church to be with me. I never grew up around you, but I did the others.”

  “Don’t worry about our family for now.” He’d do the worrying for the both of them, because he had a feeling that convincing their family would be the biggest hurdle of all.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Drinking her coffee on the front porch with an amazing view of the Rockies, Emelia felt really happy. So very happy, and the man responsible had just come up and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Dante was so loving, and she regretted missing out on all those years without him.

  But as he nuzzled into her neck, she told herself to stop looking back. They could only move forward.

  “What are you thinking?” He rested his chin on her shoulder.

  “About you.”

  He chuckled. “Hope it’s a good thought.”

  Emelia pressed back into his body and delighted when he gasped at the contact. “Oh, yes. Very good thoughts.” She placed her cup of coffee on the balcony rail, before turning in his arms. Reaching up, she cupped his face in the palm of her hands and smoothed her thumbs over his lips. “I love you, Dante.”

  His eyes dipped to her mouth before he met her gaze, and leaned forward to place a soft kiss to her lips. She sighed in pleasure, but it soon turned to a frown to match Dante’s. “What’s wrong?”

  “Every time I think about spending the rest of my life with you, the thought that I might never be free to marry you kills me, because that’s what I want so much. I’m not sure if it’s ever going to happen. Are you prepared for that? For the possibility that I might never be free to marry you?” When Dante finished speaking, his eyes were red-rimmed, and his face had paled.

  Emelia realized that Dante really was afraid that she wouldn’t want him if he couldn’t marry her, but it was so far from the truth. She assured him, “I love you, Dante. My love isn’t dependent on whether or not you become free to marry me. If that doesn’t happen, then, as long as we’re living our life together, I’ll always be happy.” She leaned forward and kissed him. She pulled back slightly, their lips a mere inch apart, and whispered, “And the good thing about us having the same surname means that any children we have will also have both our names. We’ll be a family, Dante, and that’s the most important thing—that we have each other.”

  All she had ever wanted was to be with Dante, and a piece of paper wouldn’t make any difference to her feelings for him or any children they might have.

  As she watched Dante, he seemed to be fighting emotions of his own, which was why she wrapped herself around him while they stood in silence.

  The sun hadn’t long since risen, and while she watched the winter birds swoop down over the frozen lake, her mind went over everything that they would have to overcome. Breaking the silence, she added, “Something we haven’t considered, as well, is that we both have the same father listed on our birth certificates. I’m not sure if that is something that can be undone.”

  “I’d forgotten that part…and going back to the part about kids. I’d love to have children with you, Em. You’ll make a wonderful mother.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you want to go out? There’s a small town close by.”

  She thought about Dante’s suggestion, but she wanted to be selfish. “Can we stay here, light the fire, and cuddle in front of the television, and put a good movie on?”

  “We can do that.” He kissed her again. “Let’s go inside and warm up.” Dante kept an arm around her shoulders as they walked back inside the cabin.

  It was a luxurious cabin that Dante had owned for years, since before he ran to the church. They were lucky to have plumbing and all the other things that were taken for granted on a daily basis. She loved the open plan at the front of the cabin, and, as she took her snow boots off, she padded over in her stocking feet to the floor to ceiling window and looked back out to the lake. She loved the view and could imagine herself living in Dante’s home with him.

  It saddened her to know that he’d have to leave Frederick because she knew that he loved it there, but no way could they create a life together in the parish where he’d been the priest. The cabin was only a few hours from Frederick, so even that wouldn’t be an option.

  They needed a fresh start where neither of them was known, and although it made her heart beat faster, she knew that they could do anything when they had the other for support.

  As it was, her body ached for him to fill her again, but if she was honest, the thought of his thick penis slipping inside her made her wince while she still felt sore—it also aroused her to amazing heights.

  She hadn’t expected him to be so long or thick, not that she’d spent time imagining…well, maybe some.

  With her body full of frustration, she turned from the window and smiled when she saw Dante already sitting on the sofa watching her.

  “You looked lost in thought, again.” He raised a brow.

  “I’m sorry,” she moved toward him and cuddled into his side. “I can’t help it. There’s a lot to think about and my mind keeps drifting.”

  “They’re big decisions as well,” he commented. “But no matter how everything works out, we will be together in the end…Let’s forget about it all for the rest of today. We’ll be back in Frederick tomorrow, and then we can start dealing with everything we need to do.” He pulled her closer and she sighed in pleasure as his warmth enveloped her.

  But no matter how close he held her, she couldn’t help feel sadness that he was leaving the church for her. He may have gone to the church as an escape, but she’d seen him in his church and with his congregation and he loved it. Just like they loved him.

  To walk away was a very big step for him to take
and she wondered whether he ever would blame her for his actions.

  “No, Em.”

  Her startled gaze snapped to his and a frown marred her brow. “What?”

  “You’re an open book. You might be the main reason for me leaving but I’m doing it for myself as well. Please don’t ever doubt that I will regret my decision because I won’t. How can I when I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted with you? I love you. Stop worrying.” He kissed the top of her head.

  She smiled softly, and met his gaze. “I’ve longed to spend time with you, lying cuddled on the sofa while we watch a movie together. Being alone knowing that I can touch you, kiss you when I want too. Being here with you means everything to me, Dante.”

  His hand slipped to the nape of her neck and tugged her closer. “You mean everything to me, Em… Everything,” he whispered just before their lips met.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  On a heavy sigh, Dante placed Emelia’s bag on the end of her bed in the guest bedroom. Their time together had come to an end, and he regretted being back in Frederick. Although Emelia had told him she understood that they couldn’t share a bedroom once they were back in the cabin, he’d felt her pull away from him and knew he’d hurt her. She still smiled and talked as though there wasn’t any problem at all, but there was something reserved about her, and while Barbara was in the kitchen, he didn’t want to confront Emelia.

  They’d enjoyed their time away, and he’d loved being able to spend the time with her. She was his everything, and he just wished that everything was over with—the bishop, their family, the keeping his love secret from the world. It played on his mind and he didn’t like having Emelia separate from him.

  He’d sinned enough over the past couple of days, he didn’t think he should do it under the roof that belonged to the church. As it was, he’d be spending all his spare time asking for forgiveness at his own alter.