“Thank you Brad. I shall wear it always.” He takes the bracelet and begins putting it on my wrist. It fits perfectly and I stretch my arm out straight to admire it against my skin.
“Let’s go upstairs now Angel. I know it’s early but I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I have to lose you for four days. I don’t want to miss a single minute” He takes my hand and leads me away from the table and up the stairs towards the bedroom. There are no lights on but the lights of the city are illuminating the room. Brad sits over on the reclining chair at the window and opens out his arms to gesture me over onto his lap. I snuggle into him and we gaze out onto the city with all its traffic and night time activity. There’s something very romantic about a city at night.
“I want you to spend more time here when you get back Angel” his voice calm and gentle.
“Instead of the beach house?”
“No—as well as.”
“We spend weekends together and see each other a couple of times mid-week as well” I reply wondering how I can fit in any more time with him than I already do. He doesn’t answer for a moment and I can tell he’s searching for the right choice of words before he replies.
“Why not every night?” he eventually replies. He sits up and cups my face. “Move in—live with me Angel” I can’t respond. He searches my face waiting for me to answer but I’m speechless as I didn’t see that coming at all. “Would it be so bad? Living here—with me?” he continues.
“No—no of course it wouldn’t be bad. It’s just that—well....well it’s only been just over three months” I reply shocked at the speed that this request has come. “We haven’t even been seen out in public yet—don’t you think that should come first?” I say, trying to put logic into the conversation. He turns his face away from me and towards the window. The lights of the city reflect in his eyes and his face is shadowy. I can see from his expression that he’s in turmoil and a little cool and I can’t help but feel I’ve spoilt a perfect moment. Maybe I should have just agreed and been happy that a man like Brad wants to be with me. After all he’s everything I’ve ever wished for. I move around and straddle him but he continues looking through the window. His face is set hard and his aloofness is unnerving. Is this because he isn’t getting his own way? My mind casts back to Jody’s warning and I’m wondering if I’m now seeing it in action. He has mastered the art of making me feel like I’m the bad person and so, desperate to stop the atmosphere that’s building and to quash my feelings of guilt; I lean forward to kiss him. Opening my robe, I take one of his hands and place it on a breast. He always distracts and avoids issues using sex so I’ve had a good teacher. Pulling his gaze from the city view he looks up at me with big green eyes and observes me as I move his hand over each breast in turn; moaning softly. I soon feel that he’s become hard and I know it won’t be long before he snaps out of his present mood. Deciding to up my game I pull my legs forward and face him with them draped over the arms of the chair—exposed to him; legs wide apart. He doesn’t look, just keeps his eyes locked with mine as we play our little power game—a game I’m determined to win.
“Pleasure yourself” he speaks without emotion as if he’s testing how far he can push me “I want you to make yourself come”. We fix each other’s gaze for a moment before I lick the tips of my fingers and send them down between my legs. Still with eyes locked I begin to roll over my clit—stroking up and down suggestively before beginning to circle. Sensations are starting and my breathing is becoming choppy as I masturbate for his amusement; getting hotter and hotter. I push a finger inside and throw my head back in delight as he sits there cool and calm still looking at my face. This feel surreal and his coolness is slightly disturbing making me feel like I’m some kind of hooker that’s being paid for tricks—like I’m a dirty girl that will do anything. The feeling is turning me on even though logic says it really shouldn’t. I up my pace and my hips writhe in his lap as the orgasm delivers its slow teasing shocks of pleasure to let me know it’s not far away.
“I’m coming” I pant breathlessly and as the words leave my mouth I feel his fingers plunge hard into me. He sits up slightly and wraps an arm around my back to steady me.
“Come on me” he says masterfully as I continue to play; panting and gasping as I start to release. “That’s it—come for me now” he growls as his fingers plunge in and out faster and harder than he’s ever done before. I cry out and release while he continues, not stopping after my orgasm subsides. His eyes flash with raw lust and he stands up with me in his arms and travels over to the bed, laying me down roughly. I lie there panting in the aftermath while he pulls out a condom from the pocket of his robe, tears it open with his teeth and rolls it on.
Lifting my legs up and opening them wide he pulls me to the edge of the bed before plunging his length into me and begins to pound hard. The expression on his face is serious and his eyes look empty—his lips are pressed hard together. Like he’s teaching me a lesson for not agreeing to his request earlier; that he’s showing me that I’m his. He pushes my legs forward away from him making it feel deeper and a few thrusts later he throws his head back and grits his teeth together as he releases; throbbing and pumping inside of me before falling forward.
He lays there gasping for a few minutes—no words are exchanged. No words of tenderness or love; just panting. There’s a dark side and it reveals itself when things don’t go his way; like a form of control. It started as a power game; a bit of fun and pushing of boundaries, but I can’t help feeling it turned a little sinister. He was quite unloving and domineering—much like when I was packing my bag back at the beach house after our argument. I lie on the bed and stare upwards at the ceiling with Jody’s words racing around my head until he eventually breaks the silence.
“I want us to be together Angel and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that. I’m tired of having to be discreet out of some stupid misplaced loyalty. When you get back from Texas I intend to announce you are moving in. Just be warned Angel that there may be few bumps in the road when I do.” I look at him in shock. Has he not listened to my response earlier? That I wanted to go public first and that it’s too soon? I stand up and put my robe back on quickly.
“I told you Brad, it’s too soon. Didn’t you listen to me?” I blurted out in annoyance. He gave no response and so I decided to go down to the kitchen to cool off and get a drink. “Geez, did his mother never teach him to respect boundaries and the word ‘no’?” I hiss when I’m safely out of earshot. I sit at the breakfast bar and drink a glass of iced water as I take in the lights of the city and for the first time in what feels like months I think of Wade. His masculine yet gentle nature and how, although we’d never had sex, I just knew that he would never behave like Brad had just done. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I feel utterly confused by Brad’s moodiness. I don’t want Jody to be right. I want him to be perfect, like I thought he was—not moody and controlling.
I stay in the kitchen for a while till tiredness creeps over me and my tears have stopped. The apartment is quiet and so I decide to climb the stairs and go back to the bedroom to get some sleep. I enter quietly and Brad is in bed asleep, perfectly still, so I carefully get in beside him taking care not to wake him up. I don’t want to cuddle, partly because I don’t want to have sex again but also because I don’t feel the same closeness I did before tonight. I’ve seen another side and it’s a side I’ll be glad to get away from for a few days so I can get a perspective.
Chapter Nine
I rouse with a start; my heart beating fast but for no apparent reason. I look over at Brad and he’s still fast asleep so I slowly and carefully lift myself out of bed and make my way out of the bedroom towards the bathroom. I stand and look in the mirror for a few minutes ‘I can’t believe he’s asked me to live here with him’ and I question if it’s I who has reacted badly this evening. Brad has a subtle way of making issues feel like they’re my fault; like I’m the irrational one.
The desk is neat and tidy with just a single file out. ‘Should I take a look?’ I think to myself as I’m already picking it up. ‘What’s the harm? He’ll not know and besides; I know nothing about company take over’s and venture capital anyway’ my mind continues as it justifies my actions. I sit forward on his chair as if I’m at a meeting and open the file. But what I see turns me ice cold.
“What the fuck?” I say out loud. Pictures of me!....in clubs dancing....in clubs snogging the face off some random guy. There’s a sheet of A4 paper with writing on but the light’s not good enough for me to read it so I switch the desk light on quickly. It’s a dossier—about me. My whole life is in this file. My age, date of birth, Social Security Number, where I work, how much I earn—everything. There’s even details about Adam. My eyes read every word about me and for the second time since I’ve been with Brad I feel fear grip me. I read the conclusion at the bottom of the papers. “No signs of there being any bisexuality or lesbian affairs”
“What?! Lesbian affairs? Bisexuality? What the Hell is this?” I exclaim out loud as if questioning an imaginary person. I look back at the pictures of me. ‘I have to get out of here—I’ve made a terrible mistake. This man is a fucking stalker’ I begin to close the file. I don’t want him to know I’ve seen it. I’ll quietly get dressed and grab my case and get out of here before he wakes. I’m too angry to cry or acknowledge my broken heart and the pain I’m feeling. ‘He’s had me marked well before I met him in that restaurant near Rodeo Drive....and then there’s the telescope in his gym....’ My head is spinning with panic as I get up from the chair and start to make a bolt for the door but I stop dead in my tracks. Brad’s standing at the door watching me in silence. I feel myself step back away from him and soon the desk is between us. I’m breathing rapidly as my adrenaline rushes, making me breathless. My anger takes over me and I pick up the file.
“What the fuck do you call this?” I scream at him. “Are you some kind of psycho—stalking me and photographing me?” I hurl the file at him and the contents scatters over the floor. “And what the fuck is ‘no sign of bisexuality or lesbian affairs’ meant to mean—are you sick? Actually....” I hold my hands up in a surrendering action “don’t answer that last one, I think the answer’s very obvious.” He stands quietly just looking at me calmly with no expression as I blast him with every name under the sun. I have a temper when I’m pushed hard enough and this revelation has pushed every button. I barge at full speed towards him making for the door but he grabs my arm.
“Take your fucking hand off me” I hiss with sparks flying out of my eyes at him. I wrench my arm free, take off the bracelet and throw it across the room.
“Please Angel. It’s not what you’re thinking. Let me explain” he pleads before slamming the door and locking it.
“Brad—open that door right now. I mean it. Open the door or I’m calling the cops”
“Not until you hear me out” he replies defiantly.
I sprint towards his desk and grab the phone but he’s too fast and snatches it away.
“Listen. Listen to me please.”
I struggle and kick but he holds onto me tightly so I have no chance. Tears are rolling down my face as the warmth of his body reminds me how perfect everything was up until a few hours ago. The heartache is beginning to start and a feeling of not caring if I live or die comes over me so I stop struggling like an antelope that’s just been caught by a lion and accepts its fate. He holds me for a while making shushing noises as I stand and cry—helpless to fight his arms but not returning his affection.
“If you want to call the cops and leave then I won’t stop you Angel, but please at least let me explain first. Then I’ll do whatever you want” He releases his embrace and I step away from him, taking my place on the other side of the desk.
“I know that file must look sinister to you, like the work of a sick man and I’m sorry it’s upset you. That’s the last thing I wanted but there are things in my past that you don’t know about.” He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. “Remember I told you about the girl I was engaged to and how Jody had caused a lot of trouble?” I nod my answer at him “I told you that the relationship hit trouble—I wanted it to work but she didn’t?” I nod again. “Well, during the relationship we experimented a lot sexually. You could say she was wild in that department. She was close friends with Jody, very close in fact—they were lovers. I bet she didn’t tell you that did she?” My eyes widen. The shock makes me reel back and sit back down hard in the chair. Brad sighs as he is trying to put the words together in a way that’s going to convince me not to leave.
“One evening we take things a bit too far. Jody is in a wild mood. One thing leads to another and they end up in bed together while I watch. Don’t ask me why I went along with it Angel because I don’t know. Maybe I was just fulfilling the typical male fantasy about watching two women. I’m vanilla—you should realize that by now. Anyway, the relationship spiraled down after that foolish mistake. She and Jody ended up becoming lovers Angel. I found out and she finished the relationship to be with Jody exclusively. That’s why Jody and I don’t ‘click’ as she so quaintly puts it” Silence falls as my brain is processing a million ‘what the fuck’ revelations.
“But why did you have me investigated?” I eventually say.
“Angel, that whole thing broke me. I couldn’t function. When I discovered that you were living with Jody I had to be sure you and her weren’t lovers. I couldn’t go through all that again.”
“But some of those photos were taken long before we met?” I continue as my brain begins to digest the information and sharpen.
“I saw you as you were going in to work one morning. You were running as it was raining and I passed you in my car. I nearly crashed into another car—I honestly thought I’d seen an angel. I knew right then that I had to meet you so I found out where you lived and worked so I could engineer our paths to cross.” He pauses giving me time to absorb what he’s telling me. “Everyone checks someone out when they’re interested—I just did it professionally instead of asking around friends. Besides; I could hardly ask Jody about you in the early stages could I?” He moves around the desk and kneels at my feet, tenderly putting a hand on my knee.
“Jody’s poison Angel. Look me in the eye and tell me she hasn’t tried talking you into bed with her”
“Er....well....yeah I guess she has a couple of times. But I just put it down to drink and a bit of a joke. I never took her up on it.” I think back to all the times—far more than a couple—when Jody had offered to ‘pop my girl on girl cherry’. Deep down I know there’s truth in what I’m hearing and pieces of the jigsaw are starting to fit together. There are two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle lies the truth.
‘N
o wonder he’s checked me out.’ I think and realize that my anger is diminishing and that maybe I’ve jumped to condemn him too quickly. This man has treated me with nothing but love and really I’m giving him a pretty hard time. My mind flicks back to Jody and how she had tried to pair me off with Chris knowing that Brad would be watching at La Boheme. Now I can see why she got upset when I mentioned this friend of hers and why she despises Brad so much. She was in love with this woman so her and Brad were love rivals. How could I not see this? I knew Jody had female and male lovers.
I get up slowly and walk over to the door—Brad’s sat outside on the floor with his back against the wall, his knees drawn up and his head slumped onto his arms that are resting on his knees. He looks broken and small. I crouch down and sit opposite him as he looks up at me with glassy eyes. My gut tells me he’s telling me the truth and I always follow it—so far it’s been spot on but it’s also telling me there’s even more to this story and I need to speak to Jody as well. A few hours ago I loved this man and was blissfully happy. I can’t switch those feelings off no matter how hard I try.
“If you want to leave Angel I’ll understand. It’s a mess and I was foolish to think you wouldn’t find out sooner or later. Just don’t leave tonight okay? Get some sleep—I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom” he says humbly. I shuffle closer to him and run my fingers through his hair, taking in his heavenly scent.
“I don’t like what you’ve done Brad—but I do understand why you’ve done it” I stand up, take his hand and pull him up. “I need to sleep Brad—I’m exhausted” and I lead him over to the stairs and back up to the bedroom. We lie on the bed quietly facing each other in silence. He strokes my cheek lovingly. Tears begin to flow from my face as the gravity of discovering the file and his uncharacteristic love making starts to take its effect.
“There’s something else that you should know” he says quietly.
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