by Diana Gardin
I grab her hand, the one that was tracing my scar, and hold on to it like it’s the only thing keeping me afloat.
“Jeremy,” she whispers. “You said that you cut ties with your grandparents after high school ended. But you didn’t even know what they did to me. Tell me what they did to you.”
Her eyes are dark pools of pleading, and a sigh escapes me because I know I’m going to tell her everything.
“It was March of senior year, and I was in spring training. Remember how we used to lift weights and run plays without pads in the spring?” I sit back on the couch, pulling Rayne with me. With a breath’s hesitation, she snuggles in under my shoulder, and damn. It feels fan-fucking-tastic. Like she never left.
“It happened so fast, Rayne. One second, I’m standing there, throwing a pass. We’re goofing around, just playin’. And then the next, I’m lying on the ground looking up at the sky, knowing that something really bad just happened to me. I felt it…it wasn’t just the pain. There was this feeling of finality that let me know everything was about to change.”
The soft exhale beneath me pulls my attention, and I glance down at Rayne. She peers up at me with pain-filled eyes. The sight of them makes me want to comfort her, even though I know that pain is empathetic. She feels it on my behalf.
“Oh, Jeremy,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry. Football was everything to you.”
Releasing a grim chuckle, I bend down and press my lips to her hair. The contact induces a chain reaction in my body that starts in my lips and travels south. She’s going to become like a drug to me, that much is obvious. Inhaling, I pull her a little closer just because I can.
“It never should have been, though, right? Seems like loving it so much made me blind to what was really important.”
Her quiet sigh is absorbed into my chest. “Maybe not. But it meant so much to you.”
“Yeah, it did, sweetheart. It did. But it’s what happened after that that was the final straw. I knew my scholarship was done. There was going to be surgery. And then recovery. And then months of rehab. No Division One school was going to wait around for that. So my grandfather tried to sign a deal with the Devil.”
Moving so quickly it causes Night to raise his head in alarm, she sits up and stares at me. “What are you talking about?”
Holding her gaze, I caress her hand gently in both of mine. Now that I know what my grandparents did to her, she’s not going to handle any of their actions well.
“I mean he hired a doctor whose medical license was revoked for questionable practices, experimenting on patients with drugs that weren’t legal yet. The doctor was going to give me something for my arm that would possibly eliminate the need for surgery. My grandfather wanted to cover up the whole thing, keep the university who’d offered me a scholarship out of the loop.”
Her eyes grow wide, her hand tightening its hold on mine. “That’s crazy.”
I nod grimly. “Damn crazy. All he wanted to do was make sure I made it to the NFL. He didn’t care that this potential treatment was untested and could be dangerous for me. And my grandmother? She just went along with whatever he said. I had no one looking out for my best interests back then. Nobody but me.”
I can almost see how persuasive he was, telling me that I needed to “man up” and that everything would be fine. He’d reiterated the fact that he ran a multi-million-dollar corporation and he didn’t get to the top without knowing a smart decision when he saw one.
“The next day, after I found out what he had planned, I went and enlisted. And then I went straight to my doctor. I was able to have the surgery for my shoulder and recover before I had to leave for boot camp. My grandfather ’bout blew his top. He told me that I was screwing up my future, and that his grandson was meant for greater things. I was either playing in the NFL, or I was going to end up working for him. No other options. Can you believe that, Rayne? What could be greater than serving your country?”
She shakes her head, her eyes still wide and disbelieving. There’s stark resentment showing through, and her bottom lip is caught so tightly between her teeth that it’s turning white.
“He…God, Jer. He’s such a terrible man. I wish I could have been there for you.”
We hold each other’s gazes, and we’re both thinking the same thing. If it weren’t for him, we would have been there for each other. Our lives would be really different now. Our son’s life would be different. Decker would know he had a father who loved him and would do anything to protect him.
My grandfather’s reaction to that adverse time in my life proved to me that I had to get out from under his thumb. That he didn’t want what was best for me; he wanted what was best for his image, his legacy. A grandson serving in the military wasn’t part of that. A grandson who had a child out of wedlock at eighteen wasn’t part of it, either, apparently.
There’s an overwhelming urge to confront him. Both of my grandparents, to let them know that what they tried to do all those years ago failed. Even though we’ve been apart for all these years, somehow my son and Rayne have found their way back to me.
Standing, I start to pace. My breath comes too fast, and all I want to do is punch something. Or get in my car and drive to that beachside estate where my grandparents still reside and tell the old man exactly what I think of him and his controlling nature. I want to show him what I’ve done with my life. Show him that he couldn’t keep Rayne and my son away from me forever. Confront him for trying to take everything away from me.
“Son of a bitch!” Shoving my hands through my hair, I want to roar, but one glance at the ceiling reminds me that there’s a little boy asleep upstairs. I want that little boy to feel safe when he’s here.
Two slender hands slide around me and slide up my abdomen, my chest. I shudder in her arms; her touch siphons off the tension and stress and replaces it with warmth and something much stronger.
Raw desire. Hunger.
I suck in a mouthful of air as her fingers work the hem of my shirt, dragging it upward. Her fingernails scrape against my flesh, and I try, and fail, to bite back a groan.
“Fuck,” I mutter, turning to face her while I rip my shirt off over my head.
Have a woman’s hands on me ever felt this good?
I’ve been with women since Rayne. But my heart’s never been involved. With the twist and turn of my emotions, the feel of her skin against mine is like a match lighting a fuse. Dynamite. Fiery. Explosive.
The second she’s facing me, she leans forward, and my arms encase her. Her hands float up my stomach, my chest, her eyes following the path her hands make.
But my eyes are glued to her.
When her gaze slides to mine, it’s burning. Her navy blue eyes are bright and aware, and there’s a depth there that comes from the trials and tribulations she overcame when I didn’t know her.
She’s a different woman now than the girl she was then.
I want to know her. All of her. Every single part of the person she’s become.
“I’m here for you now,” she whispers as her hands travel to my face, cupping it firmly.
With a groan, I dip my head and take possession of her mouth.
15
Rayne
When he kisses me, my insides catch fire. Something inside of me snaps, and I throw myself into his arms.
There are so many thoughts fighting for prevalence in my head, a plethora of emotions running rampant in my heart, but I don’t want to think right now. All I want to do is feel. And the person I want to feel is Jeremy.
My arms lock tightly around his neck, and I practically climb up his body. Helping me reach my destination, he grips my ass and lifts me so I can wrap my legs around his waist.
He owns my mouth.
His tongue teases, tempts, licking along my bottom lip before slipping inside to entwine with mine. Small laps, like he’s tasting me. When he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, I moan, my fingers playing in his hair. Tugging him closer, pulling him deeper. He wa
lks me toward the couch, but then pauses, tearing his lips away from mine to glance up the stairs.
I can see the wheels in his brain turning. He’s thinking about our son catching us like this. Before he knows that he’s our son.
Diverting from the couch, Jeremy clutches me tighter to his chest and walks me up the stairs. All the while, he’s trailing kisses along my jawbone, down the column of my throat, around the curve of my neck.
Up on the landing, he catches another one of my needy moans with a kiss. He tows me to his bedroom, closes and locks the door behind him, and sets me down on his bed. I tilt my head back to stare at him.
He stands there, eyes searching. “We haven’t discussed sleeping arrangements yet. Allow me to assist you in your decision: you’re sleeping with me.”
A soft giggle escapes me. “Yes, sir.”
The corner of his mouth kicks up in a boyish grin, the one I originally fell for. So my Jeremy, the one before all the swagger and the army credentials and the ops training…he’s still in there.
Standing there in front of me wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung jeans, Jeremy’s the picture of male perfection. His broad shoulders and thick biceps have the ability to carry the weight of the world. His rock-hard chest and washboard stomach indicate years of good fitness and a healthy lifestyle. There’s a light smattering of golden-brown hair scattered on his chest, and I follow the trail down the center of his abdomen that disappears into his jeans.
When my gaze reaches his again, it’s full of fire.
Handsome men crossed my path many times when I lived in Phoenix. But none of them captured my attention; I haven’t been with anyone since Jeremy. But now, as I stare at Jeremy Teague, I’m faced with the opposite problem. I might die of the intensity of it all if I don’t allow him inside me tonight.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pull my tank top over my head and toss it to the floor. Standing, I unbutton my shorts and slide them over my hips and onto the floor. Kicking them aside, I stand in front of him in nothing but my simple cotton bra and panty set and wait.
Jeremy dinks me in, his gaze blazing a slow path down my body. On the return trip, he lingers on my breasts where they nearly spill from the cups of my bra. A flush begins in my chest, traveling to my cheeks. I’m bigger than I was in high school. Pregnancy will do that to a woman. My body has filled out…a lot. I must look like a total stranger to him.
His eyes float back to mine, the shadows of the darkened room casing them to look nearly black. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
My blush deepens, and my heart riots in my chest. “Your turn.”
“Damn…been awhile since I’ve had a better offer than that.” He keeps his eyes trained on me as he flicks the button on his jeans and removes them, kicking them out of the way as two steps eat up the distance between us.
His presence is big—so is his personality. It could be intimidating. Especially knowing that he most likely has a weapon hidden somewhere in this room, and he knows a million different ways to hurt someone. But, as he crowds me, his eyes full of promise, I don’t feel an ounce of that intimidation.
All I feel is raw desire pooling in places I haven’t felt in a really long time.
Sitting on the bed, I fall back on my elbows and watch as he stalks forward. Leaning over me, he places a knee beside me and cups the back of my head. He kisses me deep. So deep I’m in danger of falling again, if I haven’t already.
Reaching behind me with one hand, he unclasps my bra. He slides the straps down my arms, and then pulls back to stare down at me.
“Beautiful,” he rasps.
My nipples go tight and hard under his greedy gaze, and he smirks.
“They need attention.”
Dipping his head, he takes the peaked tip of one breast into his mouth and sucks, teasing and playing with his tongue until my head lolls back on my shoulders.
That mouth…holy hell. Made for sin.
Pulling back, he takes both my breasts in his hands, palming them softly, teasing the pebbled flesh of my nipples with his thumbs. He pushes them together, testing their weight.
With some amusement, I pipe up. “So, still a boob man?”
His eyes jerk to mine, and his gives me a sexy, rakish grin. “Oh, I’m an equal opportunity lover now, darlin’. I don’t play favorites. You’ll see.”
He follows suit with the same delectable treatment on my other breast, a series of licks and sucks and tiny stinging bites that are enough to drive me insane. By the time he’s done with them, I’m writhing on the bed, ready to beg him for more.
Dropping kisses along my stomach as he moves south, his hands continue their play with my breasts, proving they’re as skilled as his mouth.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, it’s like he’s certified in making a woman feel amazing.
This isn’t the Jeremy I remember. The boy I left behind was a sweet lover. He took care of me every single time and wanted to make sure I was okay. But he wasn’t this…thorough.
He playfully bites my hip bone before smoothing the sting with his tongue, causing me to arch off the bed. He slides onto the floor in front of me, pushing my legs apart with his hands. His long hair, hanging down around his face, tickles my skin as he leans over me.
I’m quivering all over, just waiting for the first touch from him where I need it most. Everything about Jeremy is overwhelming me right now: his masculine scent, his incredible body and hands, his tantalizing mouth. And when his lips land in the center of my folds, giving me the most searing kiss I’ve ever felt, I almost come apart right then and there.
“Relax, baby.” His voice is low and full of dirty intentions. “Let me take care of you tonight.”
The next swipe of his tongue is possessive, demonstrating that in this moment, he owns me. And it’s the absolute truth.
Jeremy Teague eats me up and swallows me whole. I’m panting, my fingers digging into the bed beneath me. I’m thrusting my hips forward, fucking his mouth, because it’s all I can do. I know that it’s too much at the same time that I want to beg for more.
Jeremy brings his hand into play, penetrating me in a steady rhythm while is tongue works me over.
“Oh, God.” I pick up my head, needing to see him while he drives me wild.
He glances up at me, his eyes dark and full of lust. “If you knew how beautiful you are…how perfect you taste…you’re driving me crazy, Rayne.”
I’m driving him crazy? Seriously?
As the culmination of everything he’s doing to me builds, my inner walls begin to quiver and his finger pumps harder.
“Come for me, Rayne. Let go.” His voice is an insistent growl.
My pleasure climaxes, washing over me repeatedly while stars dance before me.
“Jeremy, oh God, yes!” Words tumble from my lips without me realizing exactly what I’m saying.
All I know is if he can do that to me with his mouth and his hand…sex with this Jeremy is going to blow my world apart.
Can I handle that? The little thought burrows its way in as I float back down from my orgasm. If he doesn’t decide he wants this life? With Decker and me?
Scooting back on the bed, I fall against Jeremy’s pillows as I watch him stand and crawl toward me on the bed. He hovers above me, bearing his weight on his arms and knees. He scans my face.
“What’s going through that gorgeous head of yours?”
Blinking, I stare up at the ceiling while I attempt to sort out my thoughts.
“Rayne.” His voice is firm. “Look at me. Talk to me.”
I look into his eyes and see nothing there but genuine concern. This isn’t just some guy I met. This is Jeremy. And the things I’ve been assuming about him all these years were wrong. This man wanted to be there. For me. With Decker.
“Jer…” My voice breaks. “This”—I gesture between the two of us—“isn’t just a roll in the hay for me. Hell, I don’t even know how to have a roll in the hay. There hasn’t been anyone…not since…” I trail aw
ay, unsure of how to finish that sentence.
Understanding dawns in Jeremy’s eyes. “Baby…this”—he gestures the same way I did—“isn’t a roll in the hay for me, either. You are…God, Rayne. I never expected this. But it’s everything. You and Decker. I’m ready to sign on the dotted line. I want this. I want you. But I don’t need this until you’re ready. No pressure, darlin’.”
His words sink in, coat my emotional distress, smooth out my doubts and my fears.
Thrusting my arms around his neck, I pull him to me. The only thing I can think about is how fast I want him to sink into me. All of him, surrounded by all of me.
I’m so locked in on Jeremy, so focused on the step we’re about to take, that the sound coming from the hallway outside his bedroom door nearly fades into the background.
Jeremy stills. His eyes narrow in the second before he wordlessly slides off the bed.
“What was that?” My whisper is urgent and slightly panicked as my son’s face flickers through my mind.
Mild alarm turns to outright fear as, this time, Night’s guttural growl comes from the hallway just beyond the closed bedroom door. Jeremy slips on his jeans and turns to me.
Leaping from the bed, I grab my clothes and shove them on my body, moving more quickly than I’ve ever moved before.
“Rayne.” Jeremy’s voice is full of authority. “Stay here.”
I gape at him. “Like hell.”
“Night can hear noises inside and outside, Rayne. Just let me go check things out. It could be nothing. Can you stay here until I get back?”
I shake my head, a resolute NO to that madness. “Walk me to Decker’s room. I’ll stay there until you come back.”
Jeremy’s expression is a mixture of irritation and understanding. The conflict would be amusing, if my heart weren’t pounding like a marching band on a Friday night. Decker is all I can think about, all I can see in my mind’s eye.
“Let’s go.”
Jeremy eases open the bedroom door. He glances both ways into the dark hallway before he takes my hand and slips out of the bedroom. The room where Decker sleeps is on the other end of the landing, closest to the stairs. We spot Night sitting at the top of the stairs, staring down. He glances at us when we emerge, whining softly.