by Paris Rose
I hate to even think about it. Trevor and I have been inseparable from that night on, but we’ve never talked about Vin, Christina, or The Catacombs since we’ve become an item.
Trevor interrupted my thoughts by nudging me. “Oh yeah, what did you see at The Catacombs?” He raised his eyebrow.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smirked.
“What were you really doing there that night, anyway? I’ve been thinking about it for the last two months. When I first saw you there, that night my gut reaction was that you didn’t belong there. And now that I’ve gotten to know you more, I really think that you don’t belong at a place like that. What made you want to check out that place while you were on vacation?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah.” Trevor leaned in close.
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” I smiled.
“What do you mean?”
“After we talked at The Standard, I knew that I wanted to see you again, and I had the feeling that you felt the same. But with your high profile and all, I knew that it was possible that we may have never crossed paths again if I didn’t take action. My buddy from the reality show L.A. Life—he was with me that night—told me that your band had a show at The Catacombs, and he offered to come with me if I wanted to go. Then we bumped into you almost as soon as we got there. It worked out more perfectly than I could have imagined. Well, aside from the part where you practically ran away from me and told me we could probably never be together because we came from two separate worlds. Everything was perfect except for that.” I giggled.
“Right, right. So you stalked me that night? I knew it!” He laughed. “Now I’m curious. Did you know it was an underground BDSM club before you went there?”
“No, I had no idea. My friend Amber said I might meet some weirdos there, but I didn’t really know what she meant. Amber doesn’t really like the hard rock scene, so I thought she was just worried I would be seduced and badly influenced by some bad boy rock star or something. Oh, wait, that actually did happen. Apparently, Amber knows what she’s talking about sometimes.” I laughed. Trevor laughed with me and caressed my cheek.
“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about, missy, but I haven’t even come close to badly influencing you…yet.” His eyes flickered with a devious excitement.
“Is that right?” I held his gaze and nibbled on my bottom lip.
“Man, are you sexy. As much as I’d like to take you again tonight, we have to finish our discussion.” His expression hardened a bit.
“All right, what else is it that you want to say?”
“I was going to try and finesse this, but I think you’re actually more open-minded than I give you credit for, so I’m just going to come out and ask you.”
“Yes, please do. I’m not a part of one of your business deals. I don’t need finessing. If you want to say something, just come out and say it.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Fine, Giavanna. I want you to be my submissive,” he said curtly. My mouth dropped open and my heart palpitated as I tried to wrap my head around his declaration.
“Wait, what?” I scrunched up my face. “Is this some BDSM erotica?” I laughed incredulously.
Trevor stared at me in silence. If I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I saw a glint of animosity in his eyes. The intensity in his gaze made me uncomfortable. I looked away and began fidgeting with the scraps of food left on my plate.
“No. This isn’t some BDSM erotica. It’s the lifestyle that I have chosen and that I happen to take very seriously,” he snapped back.
“I’m sorry. Did I offend you or something?” My tone came out more sarcastic than I intended.
“I don’t think this is a good time for sarcasm, Giavanna.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. And I’m really sorry I laughed at what you said. I assure you, I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just shocked. That’s all. And to be totally honest, I’m not even sure what you’re asking. My friends at work talk about Dominants and submissives—or Doms and subs, as they call them—when they describe the stories they are reading. It’s just something I’ve heard about in a fictional setting. I actually had no idea people acted as submissives in real life. I just thought it was something made up. I don’t even have any idea what being a submissive would entail. So I can’t even consider becoming one without having more information. I do know I’m not a submissive person, though. But I wouldn’t mind dressing up in a leather catsuit and buying a whip and some stilettos, if that’s what you’re asking.
Trevor slammed his forehead to his palm. He looked down and rubbed his temples in silence. I was confused by his reaction. “I don’t know where to begin, Giavanna.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “First, yes, Doms and subs are real roles that real people take in real life. It’s not just a make-believe thing. It’s a real lifestyle that takes real commitment. There is a sector of the population that just does roleplay, which is pretty much getting dressed up and playing make-believe while pretending to be a Dom or a sub. I don’t know why, but for some reason most people don’t realize that dressing up in leather for a night does not make one a Dom or sub any more than dressing in a black cape, face paint, and fangs makes one a vampire. And more importantly, if you were my submissive, you wouldn’t be donning a leather catsuit or a whip. That would make you look like a Dominatrix, and I’m not really into that.” He exhaled and ran his fingers through his shaggy dark hair. “Explaining my lifestyle to you is going to take a lot more time than we have tonight. It’s already late, and we both have to work early. How about we continue this conversation tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” My mind was racing, but I was exhausted and I welcomed a break from the intensity of our discussion.
“Hey, did you like when I tied you up earlier?”
“Yeah.” I blushed.
Trevor’s eyes lit up. “Did you like the way I fucked you?”
I nodded my head enthusiastically, and an involuntary smile spread across my face. “Yeah!”
“Good, because if you become my submissive, you will be getting a lot more of that. Would you like that?”
“I don’t know about this submissive stuff, but more of what I had tonight? Yes please,” I beamed.
“That’s my girl. You may be more interested in being a sub than you think.” He kissed me on the forehead.
“Um, I don’t know about that,” I responded hesitantly.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“Deal.”
Trevor started clearing our plates and putting them in the dishwasher. I stood up from my seat and stretched.
His eyes lit up. “Oh! I just came up with a terrific idea.”
“Oh yeah? What on earth could that be?”
I smiled at his energy. His mind was always going. Even after a twelve-hour day, a trip across the country, mind-blowing sex and an intense conversation, he was still going. He amused and inspired me.
“Tomorrow night, we’re going to do a little roleplay.” He smiled.
“Oooh! Do we get to dress in leather?”
“No.” He furrowed his brow.
“What then?” My curiosity was piqued.
“I’m going to teach you about my lifestyle and what I expect of my subs, but here is the cool part. I’m going to give you a little taste of what it’s like to be my sub while I teach you. We’re going to do the oldest Dominant and submissive roleplay in the book. Student and teacher. I will send one of my assistants out to buy you an outfit. And after we have dinner tomorrow evening, I’m going to school you on my lifestyle. It should be an enjoyable experience for us both, but if there are any infractions, I will discipline you. Got it?”
I was too exhausted to put up a fight, but I had some serious reservations about even pretending to be Trevor’s submissive. I had no interest in being disciplined either, but the idea of having Trevor as my teacher excited me. I was ready for
bed and didn’t want to get into a debate, so I decided to oblige him since it was only going to be for one night. “Got it.”
“Good.” Trevor gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
We brushed our teeth and crawled into bed together. I was so relieved that Trevor didn’t break up with me. Even though we’d only been dating for less than three months, and throughout that time we’d been long-distance, I had really grown attached to him. From day one I could tell there was a lot he was holding back. We spent every day of my vacation together when I was in L.A. in the fall. I really enjoyed our time together, but it felt incomplete because we weren’t being intimate. We made out, but nothing more. I was so frustrated that I did something that I still feel guilty about today.
Trevor and I hadn’t discussed exclusivity yet, and at the time, Christoff and I had been broken up for several months, so I’d definitely been a single woman. Even so, I still feel like what I did was wrong. I was spending all my time with Trevor and letting him court me, but the moment Christoff texted me and said he was in L.A., I jumped at the opportunity to meet up with him. Christoff and I had mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex that night. I will never forget it. I knew I shouldn’t have been sleeping with Christoff because I was getting to know Trevor, but Trevor was holding back, so I couldn’t help myself when Christoff made a move on me. He is literally irresistible, as is Trevor, but at the time, Trevor wasn’t fulfilling my physical needs.
When I talked to Trevor about how I was feeling, he insisted that if we were intimate too soon, it would ruin our perception of each other. And he probably forgot he said this, but he revealed that he was into some really dark things in the bedroom, but he didn’t get into specifics because we were in public.
Neither one of us ever brought up the issue again because, on the last day of my vacation, he gave me a beautiful platinum necklace with a diamond-encrusted apple that he called forbidden fruit. He said the necklace symbolized the complexity of his feelings for me, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted, and that night we finally had sex. Unfortunately, the first time we were intimate wasn’t as good as I anticipated. I guess I couldn’t help but compare him to Christoff in my head, and no one, not even a superhuman billionaire rock god like Trevor, could compare to Christoff in the bedroom.
Even though I still missed Christoff sometimes, I knew I’d made the right decision in picking Trevor when I had to make a choice. Trevor is quite the charmer. Even though we were over two months in, I felt like he was still formally courting me, and I loved it. And I’ve never been one to be superficial, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate what a great provider Trevor was.
I had grown accustomed to the billionaire lifestyle quite quickly. At first he was worried that I wouldn’t be able to adapt to luxury because I had never experienced it, but I got the hang of it almost instantaneously. I was really comfortable in his lavish penthouse. And I really enjoyed having access to his staff. I’ve never been a great cook or a good housekeeper, but now I didn’t have to worry about any of that. He even sent a cleaning lady to my apartment up north that I rarely stayed at. Trevor and I ate the finest foods together and drank top-of-the-line wines and champagnes. I tried to go back to consuming mainstream cuisine and spirits, but I couldn’t. My body physically rejected it. I have no idea how I had been surviving before Trevor came along.
And not only was Trevor charming, romantic, and a great provider, but he had also grown into a fantastic lover. Each time we had sex, it got better and better. It was never bad—it just wasn’t as good as Christoff’s sex…at first. But tonight, Trevor blew my mind. I lost count of how many orgasms I had. And I loved the way he tied me up and fucked my mouth. He had never done that before. We had always had what I think of as married people sex, but today, Trevor’s inner rock star really came out. And he did say if I agreed to be his sub, there would be more of that.
I really wondered what being a sub was like, but deep inside, I knew I wouldn’t like it. I’m one of the most independent, assertive alpha women around. There is nothing submissive about me. When I think of a woman being a submissive, I picture her in a French maid costume, dusting for her Dominant and baking cookies. I’m not good at baking, and I rarely dust my own apartment. I could never imagine cooking and cleaning for some man who calls himself Dom.
And the thought of being gagged terrifies me. But I never thought I’d like being tied up until tonight. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to think about it. All of a sudden, Trevor was on top of me and in complete control, and I was his helpless little fuck toy to have his way with. It’s not something that I’d ever dreamed of, but the reality of it was hotter than I could have ever imagined. I tossed and turned in bed as my mind wrestled with the pros and cons of being a submissive. I was too tired to make any decisions tonight, and besides, I didn’t have all the information. I almost never make a decision on a whim. I like to have all the facts in front of me, but that being said, I was tempted to wake Trevor up and tell him to forget about his dreams of making me his submissive, because it was never going to happen.
I was both nervous and excited about our lesson for tomorrow. I was confident he would be very convincing in his role as teacher. I always had a sneaking suspicion that he was a certifiable genius. I was constantly in awe of his brilliance. I was excited to at least become his student even if I couldn’t stomach becoming his sub. I nuzzled closer to Trevor in bed and my heart fluttered as I thought about what tomorrow would bring.
Chapter 2
TREVOR WAS ALREADY up, showered, and in his home office by the time I got out of bed. He hated to be interrupted while working, so I ate breakfast on my own. Simon had left out lox and bagels, and an assorted fruit plate. Everything was delicious. I wondered how Simon got in and out of the condo without waking me up. He came twice a day, once in the early morning to prepare breakfast and lunch, and once in the late afternoon to prepare dinner. I had only ever met him once because I was usually sleeping or at work when he came in. Everyone on Trevor’s staff seemed to love him.
Trevor could be intense sometimes, but he had the sharpest of people skills. He was like a chameleon. He was laid back enough to communicate with his staff on a level that they could relate to, but at executive business lunches, he was always the most brilliant alpha in the room. And when he was in the studio, or hanging out with his musician friends, his dark and eccentric side came out. Trevor glowed in social and business settings, but when he was creating, he was always morose and brooding. I asked him why he was always in such a weird mood when he was working on his music, and he explained that he created from a place of pain. He went on to say that music was his catharsis, and his creative process helped him stay balanced.
I was happy he’d finished writing the lyrics and composing the music for his band’s latest album in time for the holidays. I loved all of Trevor’s many faces, but I didn’t want to deal with “tortured artist Trevor” during Christmas and New Year’s. Lucky for me, he wasn’t scheduled to start recording the new album until early next year.
He still needed a new guitarist to replace Vin. Alpha Deity is an amazing band, even though they only put out an album every three to five years. I remember the last time they released an album was four years ago, right after Trevor’s thirtieth birthday. It was entitled Fall From Grace. I loved it. The lyrics were really deep. Trevor sang passionately about BDSM on that album, but I never realized just how authentic the storylines in his songs were. I always thought most of the scenarios he sang about were for shock value. Before I met him, I never suspected that he lived an alternative lifestyle. When I used to follow his career, through interviews and magazine articles, I knew he was gifted, eccentric, and mysterious. I got the same impression when I first met him in person, but his magnetic charisma overshadowed any suspicions I could have possibly had about him being a sexual deviant.
As I bit into a delicious strawberry, I wondered just how deeply vested Trevor was in the BDSM lifestyle. Ob
viously he was into more than just casual roleplay, but was he into the lifestyle to the point that it was aberrant? I didn’t know much about BDSM at all. Long ago, when I wasn’t as experienced sexually as I later became, I thought BDSM was a form of deviance and that the people who engaged in it must have some sort of pathological psychological disorder. I used to wonder what kind of person in their right mind would want to be beaten by a mean guy in a leather mask, barking orders at them.
But when my co-workers started obsessively talking about BDSM, I became more open-minded about it. It never interested me, but I started to understand how someone could get into it. I now consider it a valid alternative lifestyle. But even in my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be attracted to someone who was a part of that world. Maybe there was a lot about myself that I didn’t yet understand. There was clearly a lot about Trevor that I didn’t know. His song lyrics were typically dark, and his music videos were always quite provocative, but I thought that just went with the industrial rock genre. And what was really confusing about Trevor was, even though his art was dark, he had the ability to be warm and gregarious when he wanted to. It was like he could switch different aspects of his personality on and off on a whim. I was intrigued by Trevor’s complexity, but sometimes I felt like I didn’t really know him.
I was lost in thought as I finished my breakfast. Perhaps Trevor was right and being in a long-distance relationship wasn’t the best idea. Living so far away from each other was preventing us from really getting to know each other on a deeper level. I really wanted to know all of Trevor’s layers. I shook my head back and forth to clear my thoughts. I refused to let myself get too caught up in figuring out Trevor’s nuances. I had a lot on my plate at work this week, and I had to stay focused, despite the fact that my billionaire rock star boyfriend had just invited me to live an alternative lifestyle with him.
So far, I’d done a good job at keeping my head on straight, even amidst having a whirlwind love life. Less than a year ago, I was so wrapped up in work that I barely had any personal life, and the dates that I did go on were lackluster at best. Then all of a sudden, after my interview with Christoff, over the summer my life became like a reality show, only with more romance and slightly less drama. I finally started to feel like I was back in Hollywood again.