by Leddy Harper
“I thought kings and queens could do whatever they want.”
“Technically, yes. If I wanted to raise taxes to a hundred percent, and the council advised against it and the elders objected, I could still go forward with the tax increase. However, it’s on record that I had acted alone, and at that point, the people I had sworn to protect would be after my head.”
I nodded while listening to her explain the ways of her land, which I found to be rather interesting. “I think it’d be cool to be a king.”
“Most people do, but if it was your reality, you would feel very differently.” She gently squeezed my hand while looking into my eyes, though she never let go. “Always being watched, being judged, being criticized…it gets old. Imagine never being able to go to the store, have a moment to yourself, watch a movie in the theater with your friends. Heck, imagine not being able to date, let alone date who you want.”
“Well, now that you say it like that…” I laughed, causing her to smile. “But that didn’t stop you from going on this walk with me. It doesn’t seem like we’re being watched, and we’re even holding hands.”
She stared at our entwined fingers for a moment. “True, but that’s also because I have my cousin on my side. Now that she’s one of my advisors, it’s a lot easier for her to help me sneak away.”
“Does that mean I might get to see more of you before I leave?” My heart pounded in my chest until I saw her nod.
With a smile that set my face on fire, she said, “Yes, that’s exactly what it means.”
“I have to be honest with you, Moira, I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again after tonight. It’s obvious that there’s no future here—you have to take the throne and marry someone in the military, and I live in the States with my daughter, whom I don’t have legal custody over.”
Moira stopped and moved to stand in front of me. With both of our hands now joined, she held my stare and smiled. “Just because our futures don’t line up doesn’t mean our pasts don’t, either.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
She hesitated for a moment, but then her eyes lit up, matching the excitement on her face. “When I was little, I was swimming in the pool at my family’s chateau. One day, a couple of other kids came down and got in.”
My breath hitched in my chest.
“I guess my security had stepped away for a minute because normally, they would’ve had me get out—I wasn’t allowed to hang out with strangers. It was a good thing they weren’t around this time, because had they made me leave the pool, one of the boys might have drowned.”
My throat constricted and burned.
“But because I was still there, I was able to pull him to the side so he could catch his breath.” Certainty stared back at me as I fought to accept what she’d just told me.
“There’s no way.”
Her smile grew impossibly wider. “I thought the same thing when you told me that story last night. But I can’t find any other explanation—except, maybe, that same exact incident happening twice yet involving two different sets of kids.”
She was right. But she couldn’t be.
Because that would mean we hadn’t met for the first time on the pier back home.
“What’s next…are you going to tell me that you were the one I made out with by the bathrooms at the karaoke club?”
She laughed and waved me off. “Yeah right. We were kids; how could we have been at the karaoke club?”
“No, not then. I came back when I was eighteen. Joey’s dad let us come as our graduation present. We’d gone to the bar nearly every night, but on the night before we left to go home, I made out with someone in the hallway where the bathrooms were.”
The smile fell from her face as she blinked rapidly at me, all the while whispering, “No way.”
Chapter 7
Moira
That was impossible.
More impossible than meeting as kids in the pool.
The dots kept lining up, yet I had no idea what it meant.
“Did you by chance help her off a table prior to that?” I was hesitant, unsure if I wanted to hear that answer. I couldn’t imagine that exact thing happening to both of us, yet not with each other. Then again, I couldn’t imagine having met him four different times in my life, either.
Tingles ran down my arms and into the tips of my fingers like electricity.
It was like my angels were trying to tell me something—I just didn’t know what.
“Uh, yeah…actually, I did. I was singing, and she was dancing on a table in the middle of the room. I felt bad for her because people were snapping photos while she held down her skirt so no one could see up it.”
“Journey?” I asked, knowing by now that we were both talking about the same night, yet it was like my brain refused to accept it until I had all the pieces put together. “Were you singing a Journey song?”
“‘Any Way You Want It.’ It was my go-to song for karaoke. I sang it every night that week, but that was the first night I saw her there.” Disbelief, hesitation, and awareness rang in his tone when he added, “Are you expecting me to believe that was…you?”
“I had just gotten back from boarding school, and I wanted to let loose, so I snuck out and met up with some friends at the karaoke club. Someone—and I don’t remember who—kept buying us drinks, so we kept drinking them.”
I’d never forget it. I was drunk, but I was having the time of my life. This bloke got up and started singing, and his voice did something to me—moved me. Before I knew it, I was on the table dancing. I felt carefree, reckless, alive. Then, as soon as his song ended, he helped me down.
He went back to his friends, and I went back to mine.
Until we both found ourselves in the hallway outside the toilets.
I couldn’t recall who’d kissed who first, because really, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he’d had my body between his chest and the wall, his lips consuming mine. It was the best kiss I’d ever had—to date. I’d blamed it on the alcohol, but it felt like bolts of electricity ran through me as his tongue caressed mine. His hands on my waist, his fingertips on my bare skin, left my body ready to explode with a level of energy I’d never experienced.
But it didn’t last long.
We were broken up by a group of drunk women pushing their way to the loo. Very shortly after that, Patrick showed up and hauled me off. I never knew what his name was, and no matter how hard I tried to find his face in every crowd for that entire summer, I never did.
Yet here he was.
I dropped my hands from his, but instead of moving away, I fisted his shirt and stepped into him. I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to. With my head back, I lifted myself onto my toes and carefully pressed my lips to his, desperate to feel the same electricity again.
Ryan pulled in a sharp breath through his nose, and then he grabbed my hips, holding me closer to his warm, hard body. The second his lips parted and his tongue met mine, an energy filled my entire being as though I were being electrocuted.
There was no way I could deny the fact that Ryan was the same guy I had kissed in the bar that night. The only question was, how could we have possibly run into each other this many times? And what did it all mean?
He completely took my breath away when he dropped his hands to my backside and squeezed. It was forceful enough to press my lower body to his. The spark I’d felt last night next to the pool had ignited into a flame as we walked hand-in-hand down the beach. That flame grew into a smoldering fire when his lips met mine, but now that he held my body to his, it became an inferno.
“Wait, wait, wait,” I panted as I broke our kiss and reluctantly pushed away from him. I didn’t want the moment to end, but I also couldn’t let it go any further. “There’s something you should know about me now before we get too far ahead of ourselves.”
He regarded me with uncertainty, yet he didn’t stop me from continuing.
“I’ve never been with
a man before.” I watched as his eyes grew wide, shock and confusion warring in his frozen expression. It only took a couple of seconds to understand his reaction. “I haven’t been with a woman, either. I just mean, I’ve never been with anyone. That way.”
A barely-there sigh escaped his parted lips, and his shoulders fell forward just enough to exploit his relief. “So you’re a virgin? That’s okay. But you do know that I wasn’t trying to have sex with you just now…right?”
I giggled and shook my head in slight embarrassment. “Yes, I know. I just wanted to tell you ahead of time. I didn’t want to get to that point with you and then say something. I’m not saying I expect things to progress that far while you are here or anything.”
God, I needed to shut up.
Ryan must’ve read my mind—or the heavens heard my cry for help—because he leaned down and covered my mouth with his. It was a soft, slow kiss. Although, that doesn’t mean it was any less electrifying. His lips were intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough of them. But I would have to, because at the end of the week, he’d be on a plane back to America.
And I’d be on my way to the throne.
“We should probably head back,” I suggested after noticing how dark it had gotten. Libby could only cover for me for so long before someone realized I wasn’t there. And if I were caught alone with Ryan again, security would never let me out of their sights.
Ryan and I held hands on the way back to the manor. Conversation seemed much more natural than when he first showed up on the beach. That was, until he broached a subject I wasn’t familiar with discussing—with anyone.
“Are you a virgin by choice? Or is it a law that you must remain celibate until marriage?”
My cheeks burned with the heat of my discomfort. “Well, I guess you could say there are many factors. One being my security team. It’s incredibly difficult to spend any alone time with someone, let alone of the opposite sex, let alone even more in a place I could easily have sex. On top of that, keeping a wholesome image is rather imperative. Sleeping with the wrong lad could potentially mean the utter destruction of my reputation. That would be something I’d never come back from.”
“People really care that much about what you do behind closed doors?” He’d never get it—heck, most wouldn’t.
“Yes, they do. But you also have to understand that, in a royal family, there are no closed doors, so to speak. Everything is open to scrutiny.” I took a deep breath, deciding to give him a little background information about myself. “When I was younger, I guess you could say I was a bit of a rebel. My parents had sent me off to boarding school when I was twelve; I was only allowed to come home for holidays and summers. By the time I turned sixteen, I was ready to break free and do whatever I wanted. Such as…dance on a table and make out with a complete stranger next to the toilets.”
We shared a laugh over that.
“It’d gotten me in a lot of trouble. People would snap photos of me and then sell them to the press. It was like everyone sat back and waited for me to do something scandalous. And for a while, I gave them what they wanted. I was tired of living in a glass house. But when I was eighteen, I had to put the wild child to rest. I had a part to play. So, I bit my tongue, plastered a fake smile on my face, and stepped into the role of a respectable princess.”
The way he stroked my knuckle with the pad of his thumb soothed some of the ill feelings that had continued to live inside. I wasn’t sure how he did it, but he was able to offer me a sense of calm without doing anything special. He didn’t have to say anything. It was in his eyes, in his touch. It was in his presence.
Suddenly, I realized just how dangerous spending time with him could be.
“Not to change the subject or anything,” he said with a laugh, “but how am I supposed to get back to the chateau?”
“No worries…Libby will take care of it.”
“So is she, like, your errand boy or something?”
I laughed, because that sounded like something Libby would say. “She’s my right hand, as well as my cousin and best friend. But I have a feeling that this week, she’ll be my gopher.”
“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“I’ll need her to fetch you and bring you to me during my free time.” That was nothing more than the truth cloaked in a teasing tone.
“Well, let’s hope you have a lot of free time this week.”
I knew what he meant, yet we were both ignoring the reality of the situation. “I don’t want to take you away from your family. You are on holiday with your daughter. I’m sure she wants to spend time with you, too. I would feel horrible if you pawned her off on your sister-in-law to be with me.”
“It’ll be all right, Moira. Don’t worry about that. Let me handle my time-sharing, okay?”
I nodded and let it go. He was right; he was a big boy, and if he wanted to take a break and spend time with me, then that would be his decision. I could offer him the carrot, but that didn’t mean he had to take it.
“Well, just a heads-up, then…” I squeezed his hand. “I will be busy tomorrow in the morning and evening, but my schedule is free between one and four.”
“Then I’ll be available between those hours as well.”
The closer we got to the manor, the slower I wanted to walk. I wasn’t ready for this night to end, but I knew it had to. Something inside told me that this feeling would only get worse by the end of the week, yet I wasn’t willing to heed that warning. This was all so confusing.
I couldn’t keep him.
But I didn’t want to let him go.
“You’re playing with fire, Mo,” Libby warned when I asked if she could find Ryan for me.
“I guess that makes me a pyromaniac, doesn’t it?”
“You’re going to get burned.”
I rolled my eyes, wondering where in the world she had found this conscience, because she’d never had it before when it came to me and my schemes. “The sun is a giant ball of fire, and guess what, Libby? It burns us, but we don’t hide away in the dark, now, do we?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? That Ryan’s your sun or something?”
“Well, he brightens my day, so I guess it does.” I regarded my cousin with desperation, hoping she’d feel sorry for me and do as I asked. “Can you please help me see him again? I don’t understand. You brought him to me last night so he could redeem himself, so why all of a sudden are you now opposed to the idea?”
“That was before I saw the whole picture.” She sat forward and covered her face with her hands for a moment. When she looked at me again, she couldn’t hide the worry in her eyes. “I assumed he was just some lad you met a couple of months ago, that he would come and go the same way you did with him in the States. But that’s not how this will play out, and you know that as well as I do. He won’t go away.”
“Don’t be silly, of course he will. He can’t stay here. He has a child and a home and a life back in America. And he knows all about the path I have laid out in front of me, too. Neither of us expects anything to come from this week.”
“That’s not what I mean.” She groaned in frustration. “He won’t go away…as in you’ll never forget him. You’ll never be able to let him go, and that will bring you nothing but agony. You’ll think of him on your wedding day, when you start your family, when you’re old. You’ll look at your husband and think about how he’s not Ryan. You’ll look at your children and wonder what they’d look like if they were his. And when you’re old, you’ll look back on your life and regret so much. Are you willing to take that risk?”
I shrugged, knowing that she wasn’t wrong but unwilling to concede. “I believe that those things will happen whether or not I spend time with him this week.”
Libby already knew that I’d saved Ryan in the pool when we were kids, and how we’d shared a kiss six years ago. I’d stayed up last night telling her everything, and at the time, she acted invested in my fairy tale. So it didn’t make sense why now, all of a sudden,
she felt differently.
“I just don’t want to see you hurt, Mo. That’s all.”
I pushed forward until I sat on the edge of the chair and wrapped my arms around her neck. “I know, Libby. And I love you for that, but I need you to believe me when I say that staying away from him when he’s so close will hurt me more in the end.”
Regardless if she believed me or not, she did as I asked. Half an hour later, she brought Ryan to the palace, though she didn’t appear to be very happy when she led him into the library to meet me.
“Just so we’re all clear,” Libby lectured as soon as Ryan walked into the room. “I’m staying here with the two of you, which means no funny business.”
The royal library contained historical manuscripts rather than actual books, so I was okay with that. She’d get bored within the next thirty minutes and leave. Funny business still wouldn’t take place, but at least we’d have some privacy.
Libby moved to the far corner of the room and took a seat at the desk. It seemed she had something on her phone to keep her busy. Hopefully that would prevent her from butting into our conversation.
“What all have you done today?” I asked while leading him to a sofa on the opposite side of the room, as far from our chaperone as I could get.
“Well, we had breakfast, and then Amara wanted to go swimming, so I took her to the pool while Mandy did some shopping.”
“How old is she? Amara, I mean—not Mandy.”
His smile made him squint and the creases next to his eyes fan outward. “She’s seven.”
“If you want, I can schedule a private tour for her tomorrow. She can come here and see the palace, then head over to the royal stables. I can arrange for her to take the ponies around the estate. She’ll be able to see things all over the island.”
“You’d really do that?” Surprise lilted his voice.
“Of course. I’ll call it PR so no one will question it.”
“That’s so kind of you, Moira. She’s going to freak out when I tell her.”