by Leddy Harper
“May I use your toilet?” she asked.
“Absolutely.” I almost pointed down the small hallway right off the kitchen, but I figured my bathroom would’ve been nicer. So I stood to lead her to my room. “It’s this way; follow me.”
Being the gentleman that I was, I took a seat on the end of the bed and waited while she used the bathroom—with the door closed. We’d only been together one time, so I didn’t want to make her feel like I had any expectations.
When she came out, she moved across the room and began to admire the framed photos that I kept on my dresser. I was too busy watching her that I hadn’t given any thought to what pictures they were. Until she gasped, picked up a frame, and turned to face me.
Her mouth formed a long O while she regarded me with wide eyes. She eventually showed me the photo and said, “You told me that you didn’t take my picture that day.”
In her hands, she held the image that I’d accidentally snapped of her on the pier. It was slightly grainy because I had to zoom it in, but there was no doubt that it was Moira in that photo. “I honestly didn’t think I had. It wasn’t until the next night when I was going through the shots that I realized I’d gotten one of you.”
“And you framed it?” Awe flooded her words, and it warmed my heart.
“Of course. It’s the only picture I have of you.”
Her eyes began to sparkle, but before I could tell what emotion she felt, she turned around to put the frame back where she found it. She must’ve started to cry, because she sniffled once and took her time admiring the other photos.
Moira ran her finger over the glass that covered Amara’s smiling face before slowly making her way to the bed. She sat next to me, and with a sympathetic grin, she asked, “How did Amara handle the divorce?”
“It obviously didn’t come as a surprise to her. In fact, I’m pretty sure she was expecting it ever since Carly left the second time. But all in all, she’s fared pretty well, I’d say. I think her age helps a lot. She’s young enough that she can adapt better than if she were older.”
“That’s good. I am happy to hear that.” She turned her attention back to the dresser and stared at Amara’s picture again. “Where is she at now?”
“Right now, she’s at Mandy’s. Kind of worked out well that you found me tonight, because she’ll be back in the morning. And please, don’t be alarmed, but she might freak out when she finds out you’re here.” I shook my head when she swung her surprised stare to me. “Not in a bad way. Freak out in a really good way.”
“Back up. What do you mean she will be back in the morning?”
“Oh, she’s only staying with Mandy and her husband for the night. I had a late photoshoot, so they took her to dinner and decided to keep her overnight.”
Moira covered her mouth, and this time, she didn’t bother to hide her tears as they streamed down her face. “You have her? Custody of her, I mean. I just assumed that your ex had taken her.”
I had been so excited to see Moira again, and to have her in my home, that I didn’t realize what all I had told her—and what all I hadn’t. I was too busy trying to understand how she was able to come here, and how long she’d planned to stay, that I never gave her the entire story.
“No, Carly offered full custody of Amara in exchange for everything else—the house, the car, half of my retirement account. She left me with nothing and everything at the same time.”
Moira wrapped her arms around my neck, practically knocking me over. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. When you said that she had asked for a divorce, I was so sad thinking that you had lost Amara.”
“So you’re okay with it? You still want to be with me, knowing I’m a package deal?”
“Ryan…” She pulled back to look into my eyes. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
While I knew that she wouldn’t be upset at the news, I never expected her to be this excited. And it was a good feeling to know that she had no reservations about entering into a relationship with a single dad.
I finally had my two girls, without worrying about losing either of them.
The following morning, Moira had taken me to her new house. We’d talked a lot about it last night as we lay in bed. She wanted Amara and me to move in; I worried it would be too soon. In the end, I had agreed to at least check it out.
She had made several valid points—such as my house being too small, I was only renting, it would be easier to save money if we were staying with her, and she didn’t want to split her time between two homes. All of which I understood and agreed with.
So after Mandy dropped Amara off—and then stayed for an hour to “hang out”—we headed over to Moira’s house, which wasn’t too far from mine. I’d kept that to myself, though. I wasn’t ready to start arguing against moving in together.
To be honest, I had expected a mansion, or at least a massive home. But that wasn’t at all what we had pulled up to. Granted, it was at least twice the size of my place, if not bigger, but it wasn’t the least bit flashy.
It was the exact opposite of what I imagined a princess would live in.
Amara ran ahead of us, and as soon as the front door was unlocked and opened, she waltzed right in as if she owned the place. It was obvious whose side she was on—not mine. It seemed I’d have to agree to move in to keep my daughter from leaving me for “Moya.”
“You can’t say that this place isn’t perfect, Ryan.” Moira stood with her arms crossed, Amara next to her in the same pose. They refused to relent. “There is a room for the princess, a space for a home office if you so choose to make it one, and the back bedroom would make a really good nursery.”
I nearly choked on my tongue. “Nursery?”
She must’ve caught my gaze jumping between her eyes and her stomach, because she laughed and waved her hands wildly in the air. “When it’s time, Ryan. When it’s time. Which is not now, so breathe.”
I’d always felt that Amara was enough for me, that I didn’t want another kid. But after Moira mentioned a nursery, and that split second where I thought she might’ve been pregnant, I realized that I did want more. I guess I was simply waiting for the right person to come along.
I stood back and turned in a full circle, taking in as much of the house as I could from the front room. “You know what, Moira? I think you’re right. I think this house is perfect for us…for now.”
She narrowed her gaze as she asked, “What does that mean? For now.”
“Well, there’s only enough room for one more kid.”
“How many do you want?” She acted as if she opposed the idea, but the twinkle in her eye told me something different.
“As many as you’ll give me.”
Amara stood between us, glancing back and forth from Moira to me. And then she burst our moment by asking, “Where do babies come from?”
This was my life…and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Epilogue
Moira
I held Ryan’s hand as we strolled through the streets of this one-horse town. Well, I waddled more than strolled, considering I was eight months pregnant with our first child, but that wasn’t the point. Amara had gotten ahead of us because I had to constantly stop.
Not due to the pregnancy.
But due to the intense bouts of déjà vu.
Ryan and I had decided to take a trip to see his dad before the baby was born. This was his first time visiting, so I knew there was no chance I had ever been here before. Yet as we made our way down Main Street, which was about the size of an aisle in a grocery store, I could have sworn this exact moment had happened already.
“What about Jessop?” Ryan asked, trying to name this baby before he was born.
“That makes me think of a horse.”
He just laughed. This had become somewhat of a routine for us. He would suggest a name, and I would find a random reason why it wouldn’t work. “Okay, what do you think about Charles? We can call him Charlie.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was giving birth to an old man.”
“David?”
I hummed, and then said, “David Daniel,” to test it out on my tongue before quickly shaking my head. “No, it can’t start with a D. Or an A.”
“Why not an A?” Poor Ryan, he was so confused.
It was a good thing we were already married, or I might have worried that he would leave me over the complete irrationality that I had developed since becoming pregnant. “Because his last name is Astor. And we just agreed that double letters don’t sound right.”
Rather than point out that we hadn’t agreed on anything, he just laughed at me. “But we already have one with double letters. Amara Astor. They could have the same initials—well, except for the middle name.”
I mulled it over for a moment and then nodded. He was right. It didn’t sound as bad as I thought it would. “Okay, you’ve convinced me. Now, what A name will we choose?”
“Aaron.” Veto. “Alexander.” Nope. “Oh, what about Abraham?” Absolutely not. “Allen.” I don’t hate it. “Anthony.” Try again. “August.” Yeah, and the next baby can be November. “What about something more original, like Andrew? Or Austin?” What about no? And no? “Arthur?”
“You suck at this,” I teased.
Ryan tilted his head back and howled in laughter toward the sky. There were a few people nearby who stopped and looked at us, likely trying to figure out what he was doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought he was pretending to be a werewolf—well, if you replaced the full moon with the sun. But I didn’t let it bother me. Instead, I smiled back at them.
And then it hit me. “I got it!”
He whipped his head around, shock widening his eyes. “What is it?”
“I finally realized why I keep getting such a strong sense of déjà vu.”
“Oh.” His voice was heavy with disappointment. “I thought you picked a name.”
The contentment that coursed through me could not be contained. Realizing the reason for the familiarity had sent me into an unmatched state of euphoria. So much so that I decided to give in. “Well, I did come up with one.”
“Yeah? Let’s hear it.”
“Allen.” I thoroughly enjoyed the sound of his laughter when I repeated a name that he suggested less than a minute ago. “Allen Daniel Astor.”
“I love it.”
Using our joined hands, I tugged him closer and kissed his lips. “And I love you.”
It didn’t matter what we called the baby, because as we strolled down the small street in that one-horse town, I realized that I was where I had always wanted to be.
I was living my best life.
Leddy’s Notes
I cannot believe this is my twentieth solo book! When I first started this ride, I had no idea where it would lead, or even how long it would last. I still have to pinch myself, because the last almost six years have surpassed anything I could’ve ever dreamed of. And that would’ve never happened without the love and support I have received along the way. It’s even better to know that all the people I’ve ever wanted to be on this ride with is with me is.
I am honestly living my best life!
Hey You!!
I couldn’t have made it through this without my family. My three girls push me to better myself on a daily basis, and if it weren’t for them, I probably would’ve given up by now. I owe everything to them.
I also wouldn’t have gotten through writing this book without these people…
Marlo: You really are my person, my lobs, my very best friend. You’ve been with me through thick and thin. Thank you for being a lobster and not a crab! You’re the best!! I love you, lobs!!!
Mimo: Once again, thank you for your careful eye. You’ve become such an integral part of my team.
Kev: We really do make an amazing team. I think it’s safe to say you’re stuck with me. Deal with it!
Amanda: You’re the greatest Biffle anyone could ask for!
Crystal: Thank you for being the first person to show me what true support is. I love you!
Emily: Well, this book makes twenty…you ready for twenty more??
Autumn: Thank you for not firing me for always forgetting to do what you asked me to LOL!
Robin: You’ve once again given my book an amazing cover! You’re the best!!!
Angela: I can’t thank you enough for giving me whatever time you can spare. I love you, girl!!
Sarah: You’ve been with me since day one, and I pray every day that you’ll be with me until the very very end (which won’t be anytime soon if I have anything to say about it LOL).
All the girls in Leddyisms: You all have shown me so much love and support. I seriously have the best group ever!!
Readers: Whether you enjoyed Ryan and Moira’s story or hated it, I can’t thank you enough for giving me chance. It means the world to me!
Bloggers: You all are hands-down my heroes. I’m so appreciative for each and every one of you for all you do. Without bloggers’ help, I’d be nothing. I love you all!
About the Author
Leddy Harper had to use her imagination often as a child. She grew up the only girl in a house full of boys. At the age of fourteen, she decided to use that imagination and wrote her first book, and never stopped. She often calls writing her therapy, using it as a way to deal with issues through the eyes of her characters.
She is now a mother of three girls. The decision to publish her first book was made as a way of showing her children to go after whatever it is they want to. Love what they do and do it well. And to teach them what it means to overcome their fears.
Also by Leddy Harper
Home No More
My Biggest Mistake
Falling to Pieces
Take Your Time
Beautiful Boy
Eminent Love
Resuscitate Me
Lust
Silenced
Dane
I Do(n’t)
The Roommate ‘dis’Agreement
Love Rerouted
Kiss My Ash
The (Half) Truth
The Reality of Wright and Wrong
The (Secret) Baby
The unEXpected Plan
The imPERFECT Guy