by Amelia Jade
After the fight in the forest, he worried that he was losing her. Her cry had been a catalyst, spurring him to a quick finish of his opponent, worrying that she was in trouble. Instead, he had found her curled in a ball next to the female shifter. Nearby a bloodied rock told him all he needed to know of what had happened.
He’d tried to comfort her, gathering her up in his arms and carrying her back to the van. She hadn’t fought him at any step of their return journey to the airport. She’d even helped him.
But it had all been in a daze, as if Karlie wasn’t truly Karlie. She was closer to a zombie than the vibrant woman he had come to know and care for during their journey. Even now, as they sat in their seats, she simply slouched down and stared ahead.
After recovering the van, Raphael had found all of their belongings stashed up front as well, including their wallets. He had decided—after all they had been through—to splurge and pay for first-class tickets. The upgrade meant they were the only two seats in a row, giving them some semblance of privacy. He was hoping to use it to talk to her. After he figured out just what the hell to say that would help her. At the moment, he was stumped.
He nearly jumped when she adjusted herself beside him.
“How do you stay so calm…after?”
The torment and anguish in her voice was so palpable he could feel it reach out and hit him right in the heart.
“Oh no, no no no.” He reached out and gathered her into his arms just as she began to cry. He feared other passengers would react, but Karlie managed to keep it quiet, her shoulders rocking as she buried her face in his shirt, the tears flowing freely.
Raphael felt guilty. He hadn’t had to initiate the conversation with her, and he was extremely relieved by that. Part of him knew it was only natural to feel that way, but he still felt that he’d let Karlie down by not being the one strong enough to say the words first. He’d have to work even harder now to help assuage her own guilt as it ate her up inside.
“I don’t,” he said after a moment, working his jaw as he remembered the first time he’d been forced to end another shifter. “Forty-six,” he said softly.
“What?” she looked up at him, tear stains running down her face, her eyes puffy and swollen.
“Forty-six times I’ve done what I thought had to be done.” He looked at her. “And make no mistake, however you feel, it had to be done. You did not go seeking them out. You did not do it merely out of the capriciousness that lies within your soul. That is not you. What you did was act when your hand was forced. When you’re backed into a corner and given no other choice, there can only be one outcome.”
His eyes hardened, boring into her as he spoke. “They made their choice. To side with Luthor. That was not something you had any control over. Nor were they forced into it themselves. They freely chose the side of evil.”
He sighed, kissing her forehead softly. “Rarely are those of us who are good at doing this sort of thing the type who would choose to. I would take back every one of those if I could. But I can’t. Do you know why?”
She shook her head, blinking to clear her eyes. When that didn’t work she used his shirt sleeve. He smiled gently.
“Because I know that by doing so, I also saved a life. In a number of cases, more than one life. Sometimes it was my own. Other times it was someone I had never met and will never see again.” His voice dropped even softer. “And occasionally, it’s been to save those that I’ve come to care for most.”
She jerked in his arms, and internally Raphael cursed himself. That was not fair to her. He had no right to lay that on her right then and there. She deserved better than that. Thankfully she didn’t call him on it.
“That all makes sense,” she said. Her voice, though still soft so as not to carry, was stronger, less tormented. “I understand what you’re saying. The logical side of me I think even agrees with you. But how do you deal? I feel…dead inside. Like I should be the one back there on the ground. Who am I to decide whether someone deserves what I did or not?”
Her eyes pleaded with him, begging with him to give her the answer, to show her the magic path that would make everything okay. It ripped him apart to know that such a thing didn’t exist. That he would have to dash her hopes.
“You aren’t,” he told her. “But you also didn’t make that decision.”
Karlie frowned.
“She did,” Raphael stressed. “She put you in a situation where if you didn’t do what you did, both you and I would be in her place.”
“But—”
“There is no but to it, Karlie. That may not make it any easier to swallow, and I understand. It’s never easy, even in a culture like ours, where such incidents are both more prevalent and less cared about.”
Karlie lapsed into silence, digesting everything he’d told her. Raphael was terrified he’d driven a wedge between them, creating a divide they might never bridge. He hadn’t meant to be quite so stern with her. She was distraught after ending someone, and rightfully so. The first time he’d been forced into such an action, it had been a week before he was fit for duty again.
Right now though they didn’t have the luxury of time. Although things were looking up, he knew that they weren’t out of it yet. Luthor’s claws had sunk far deeper into the system than anyone had suspected. Raphael wouldn’t be surprised if they had contacts within the government agencies, contacts that might provide them with access to cameras at the airport to track them to their flight.
He hadn’t mentioned any of that to Karlie. She didn’t need that worry just then. But Vincent was still out there, and until he was dealt with, they would never truly be free.
Beside him, Karlie seemed to have fallen asleep, her head resting lightly on his shoulder, and her hand on his arm.
He hated what had happened to her, and he blamed himself. She deserved a better life than this.
***
“We’re staying here?” Karlie asked in disbelief, looking way up.
Raphael craned his head back, looking at the towering building that soared up toward the sky. It was perfect.
“I thought after what we’ve been through, we could spoil ourselves a little bit,” he said, taking her arm with a grin. “I made a call while you were asleep. Everything should be ready.”
Karlie gave him a strange look, but she didn’t argue.
“Hello sir, how may I help you today?” The employee behind the counter was dressed in an immaculate gray pinstripe suit, his hair perfectly styled, and the full Windsor knot in his tie looking like it had come straight out of a commercial.
His appearance was quite at odds with the bedraggled, ripped, and worn look exhibited by the pair as they walked up to the desk. His less than impressed greeting, and the subtle look he shot at the security guard standing unobtrusively nearby indicated that he perhaps thought the pair would need escorting out.
“I believe you have a reservation for me.”
“The name sir?” He didn’t quite roll his eyes. Quite.
“Raphael.”
The change in personality was so blatant it was painful to watch as the man came alive with personality, his demeanor instantly more welcome.
“Oh, of course, sir. My apologies. I didn’t realize your trip had been quite so,” his eyes roamed over their attire once more, “rough. If you’ll follow me please, I’ll take you right up.” He grabbed a small brown envelope from behind the counter and proceeded to take them through a brown door, where they were confronted with an elevator. It was not, Raphael noted, with the elevators the rest of the guests seemed to be taking.
Next to him, Karlie’s arm tightened. He looked over, but she wasn’t scared. Instead, something that almost looked like delight or excitement entered her eyes, even if the rest of her face was still somber. It was a start.
“Please, this way,” the man said, still not having given his name. He escorted them into the elevator and hit one of only four buttons. With a gentle rumble the elevator whisked them upward.
>
“Will you need a tour of the room, sir?”
Raphael shook his head. “No, I think we can manage on that one. We could, as you may have noticed, use several recommendations on stores where we may replenish our, ah, wardrobe. If you could be so kind as to have a driver and car ready for us in say half an hour to take us there?”
Karlie squeezed his arm a little tighter.
“Better make that an hour,” he corrected.
“Of course, sir, of course. Right this way.” There were only two doors in the large chamber they disembarked into. “You are in this one sir.” He removed a keycard from the envelope and swiped it officiously through the scanner. A light blinked green and he opened the door.
“This is spectacular,” Karlie said, awed by the glittering sights of the city spread out before them.
“I will not delay you, sir,” the hotel manager said. “However, I will point out that the master suite and master shower are through there,” he pointed toward an opening on the far side of the palatial lounge area that first greeted guests as they entered. “Is there anything else I can do for you before I leave?”
Raphael waited to see if Karlie had anything, but when she shook her head, he dismissed the man. He retreated with a slight bow, closing the door behind him.
“Polite little thing, once he realized how much money you were spending, isn’t he?” she said almost as soon as the door was closed.
“It’s the middle of June. I can’t expect they get too many guests coming around this time of year looking for the big rooms like this,” he replied. “He’s just excited for any tips, I’m sure.”
Karlie didn’t reply.
He tore his gaze away from the view. She was gone, but on the floor was a trail of clothing leading toward the shower area.
“Now that sounds like a great idea,” he said, quickly following suit.
Chapter Twelve
Karlie
“Okay, I am officially exhausted!” she proclaimed, putting the bags on one of the couches and collapsing heavily into another. “I didn’t realize clothes shopping could be that tiring!”
She narrowed her eyes as Raphael gave her an appraising look. “What?”
He shrugged. “Oh nothing. Just wondering who you are, and if you realize what you just said? Should I put it down to delirium?”
“Oh shut it!” she laughed, grabbing a pillow and hurling it across the room at him.
“Ah-ha!” Raphael crowed, catching it with both hands just before it smacked him in the face.
She got a quick glimpse of his grinning mug as he lowered the pillow, just before the second one hit him square on.
“Victory!” she crowed, dissolving into a fit of giggles at the shocked look he gave her.
“That wasn’t fair play!” he protested. “I demand a rematch!”
“Nope,” she said smugly, crossing her arms. “I’m retiring as the all-time champion.”
Raphael rolled his eyes and lightly tossed one of the pillows back in her direction. “If you insist,” he said, sticking his tongue out.
“Hey, don’t be a sore loser,” she told him. “Otherwise, I won’t keep the shower door unlocked next time.”
The evil smile that appeared told her she’d misstepped. “If I recall correctly,” Raphael began, affecting a thoughtful pose, “it was you who benefitted most from leaving it open.”
She blushed bright red at the not-so-subtle reference to the attention he’d given her after entering the spacious shower after her. Remembering the way his hands—and other parts—had touched her, she couldn’t argue the point. He had been all about her.
Karlie frowned. “I’m sensing a pattern here,” she said, her tone serious. “A ridiculously unnecessary hotel suite. Expensive clothes shopping, a rather pleasurable, but undeniably one-sided shower experience. What are you buttering me up for?” she asked suspiciously.
“Nothing,” he replied instantly. “That’s the honest truth,” he continued as she opened her mouth. “I’m not trying to work you up to anything.”
Then it hit her.
“You’re trying to distract me.”
He tilted his head back and forth in mild disagreement. “Not entirely accurate. That would be one part of it, I suppose, but not the whole.”
She arched an eyebrow, inviting further explanation of his point.
“I’m trying to remind you that there’s more to the world than what you’ve experienced. That there is plenty of good and fun. More so, I would I say, than there is the bad. There is still good even in a world where you sometimes have to do horrible things.”
He waited a second, then grinned. “Besides, I haven’t been able to spend much of the ludicrous amounts of money that I get paid. So let me spoil you a bit, okay?”
She looked down in embarrassment. “Okay. After all, you did let me pay for some of those clothes. I like being independent too,” she said firmly, letting him know that he wouldn’t be allowed to pay for everything. He hadn’t raised much of a fuss when she pulled out her credit card, but she could tell from the way his body language changed that he hadn’t been happy about it. “I appreciate the fact you want to spoil me. It’s even kind of cute, but you can’t pay for everything,” she told him.
“I can handle that,” he told her. “But.”
Karlie felt her eyes narrow. “But…what?”
“It’s going to cost you.”
“Oh?”
“Yep,” he said, breaking the monotone voice at last, showing her he wasn’t upset in any way. “You have to go put that dress on. We’re going to dinner.”
She brightened immediately. Dinner sound fabulous right about then, and the fact that he wanted to see her in the flowery summer dress she had picked out was perfect. It wasn’t a choice she had expected him to like, considering it more of a comfort piece compared to a show-off piece.
But if he wanted to see her in it, he was going to get his way this time.
“Done.” She stuck out her hand.
“Really?” he said with a laugh, grabbing her hand and shaking it heartily.
He didn’t let go. She tried to pull free, but he wouldn’t let her. He used the reverse momentum to pull her close. Their lips met, the fire between them igniting once more. Karlie swallowed hard as he pulled away a few seconds later, returning her to an upright position and giving her a gentle push in the direction of the bedroom.
“Go get ready,” he told her. “I’m famished.”
She slowly made her way across the lounge area, trying hard not to look back at him. After failing miserably several times, she went to get ready.
You really need to make up your mind.
Things were confusing with Raphael. They had coupled twice now. The first time had been spur of the moment, borne by the sheer adrenaline and exhilaration of their flight from the compound where she had been prisoner. Both of them had had their blood up, and it just sort of happened. She didn’t regret it, but at the same time she hadn’t expected it to lead where it seemed to be going.
Raphael was a good man. She knew that much without a doubt. He was also tall, in incredibly good shape, both by looks and by actions. His broad shoulders and well-defined chin didn’t help when it came to her making logical decisions. Neither did the day-old scruff he always seemed to have, or the way his muscles rippled every time he moved. There was a physical attraction, and she would be a fool to deny it.
There’s more than that, and you’re a liar if you try to deny it. He cares for you. Deeply. You can see it. It’s entirely possible that he sees you as his mate, the one person he’ll spend the rest of his life with.
Despite how things had ended with her mom and father, Karlie knew all about shifters and their mates. It wasn’t something she’d witnessed firsthand, having spent almost her entire adult life immersed in human culture, but she was well aware of the way it worked.
When a shifter’s animal found its mate, there wasn’t some sort of instantaneous explosion of connection
that settled over the pair. It was more like a slow burn as the two halves slowly intertwined with each other until the strands of their individuality became the roots that supported them. All of a sudden it was impossible to exist without the other.
She smiled, stripping off her current outfit and pulling the dress from its bag. How amazing would it be, she wondered, to find someone that could become so integral to your way of life? That someone who you lived to come home to, to spend time with. To dress up and go to dinner with.
Karlie jerked upright, the dress falling from her hands as a thought raced through her head. She was getting dressed up and going to dinner with someone. That same someone who over the past two days had become an integral part of her life.
But it wasn’t possible that he had already become so important to her that she could live without him.
Had he?
Pulling the dress over her head, Karlie considered something that she had purposefully been ignoring until then.
Just what would happen when they got back to Genesis Valley? That was a question that had been creeping up more and more ever since they had boarded the flight, making good their escape. She would see her grandfather, and probably spend some time there relaxing and destressing from her ordeal.
But then what? She’d never needed a dull job, thanks to an inheritance from her grandfather. The only condition to it was that she find something that truly enticed her. Once she found her calling, she would have access to the entire fund. In the meantime, she was granted enough to survive, but too little to live.
So she would have her freedom, but what was she hoping to do with it? Could she truly go out into the world again? The one thing that had become clear was that her father’s reach had been far deeper than anyone had ever expected. It could be months, even years, before it was safe for her to live freely once again.