by Kailin Gow
He yanked her down roughly onto the chair.
“Two choices,” said Kian. “Unhand her – or else I'll do it for you. By order of the Midnight Knight!”
The bar fell silent amid a few belated gasps.
“The Midnight Knight, eh?” Bollo grinned. “I thought you were just a nursemaid's tale.”
“Nursemaid's tales are real, friend. Now I suggest you start believing before I convince you myself.”
“It's true!” Two unfamiliar voices interrupted us. “He's the Midnight Knight himself!” Two figures came forth. One was tall, pale, ethereal – a blue-eyed fairy with the whitest skin I had ever seen. The other I recognized. It was Pan, the satyr, whom I had met at Kian's lodge long ago. “Now, he doesn't want to dirty his shiny armor, see? Because everybody knows the Midnight Knight's armor gleams the brightest in Feyland. So let's escort you out before he has to get your ugly blood on his breastplate.”
Before Kian could respond, the fairy and Pan seized Bollo and his lecherous companion, and threw them out unceremoniously into the street, pouring their cherry blossom ale onto them as a final parting gift, to the applause of the tavern's patrons.
“See!” Pan cried. “The age of lawlessness and chaos is over! The Midnight Knight is here to stay!”
“I'll go make sure they're gone!” Cary bounded out the tavern door, with Barnaby jumping at his heels.
The two came over to me, Logan, and Kian. We looked them up and down, confused by their actions, as they pulled up a seat at our table.
“Now,” said the fairy, staring straight into Kian's visor. “I may not be able to see your face, Dark Knight, but I'd recognize that stiff walk and stilted voice anywhere!”
“Jeremy?” Kian laughed. “My old friend – I could barely see you in this light!”
“I always knew your eyes were no good!” Pan clapped him on the shoulder. “Either that, or Jeremy's gotten fat.”
“That was a kind defense you gave of me,” said Kian, embracing Jeremy tightly. “I did not expect to be recognized.”
“I'd heard the Midnight Knight was marauding around these parts,” said Jeremy. “And I heard too that you were dead – but I didn't believe...I knew something had to be up. And when I saw you here just now – I put two and two together and discovered the truth!”
“I apologize for the deception...” said Kian. “It is necessary, strategically, to maintain a certain...”
“Hush!” Pan crowed. “As far as we're concerned, you've always been the bravest and strongest knight around. If that makes you the Midnight Knight, friend, so be it!”
Kian smiled at his friends. “Well,” he said, taking a deep breath, “that's what I've come to talk to you both about...”
Chapter 10
Jeremy insisted that we leave the tavern behind, and ride home that very night to his manor. It was a quiet place, covered in spring flowers and buds, with a comfortable-looking stable for Barnaby and Cary to sleep in. It was just as Kian had said – on the furthest edges of the Winter territory, as far from the Court as possible; from the garden, it was possible to see the beginnings of the Wolfsland forests.
Jeremy smiled bitterly. “I said, as you know, Kian – I would never fight for Winter. But for the Midnight Knight – I will fight for him. He represents something more than the evil and the hatred I thought war was all about. Rosanna would have fought for him, too. For peace. For security. For fairies and wolves and centaurs all united for the common good of Feyland.”
“And Minotaurs!” Barnaby insisted.
“And Minotaurs.” Jeremy conceded. “I swore I would never fight again – but for this cause...I will fight. I will fight for a cause Rosanna too would have fought for, had she lived. The two of us under the same banner at last.”
“I'm sorry, Jeremy,” I said, patting him on the shoulder with as little awkwardness as I could muster.
“But what am I saying?” Jeremy gave a hollow laugh. “Depressing a girl so close to her own wedding day! We should talk of happy love, not sad love.” He turned to Logan. “And you must be a happy man indeed!”
Logan coughed. “Er...I am!”
Kian looked down. “I've...I've told Jeremy about your engagement, Breena,” he mumbled. “I hope you don't mind!”
“Yes, the engagement!” Barnaby gave a contented yap! “I can't wait for the wedding! I've never been to a wedding before. Minotaurs don't have weddings.”
“We hope we're all invited, Breena!” Cary laughed. I blushed crimson. I hated lying to them – lying to Logan, or so it felt, as much as we were lying to the others. We knew how important it was to keep our secret safe – even Cary and Barnaby didn't know Kian's true identity, and referred to him only as the Midnight Knight. But as I looked around at my newfound friends, I realized how painful lying to them was going to be. Even Pan and Jeremy, who knew about Kian's identity, and could be trusted never to betray that secret, couldn't know that Kian and I were still together. The more people knew about me and Logan, the more dangerous it was – we couldn't risk angering Josephine's pack.
“Of course you'll all be invited,” I said. “No doubt about it.”
“Go on, then!” Cary crowed. “She's blushing – look at that! Give her a kiss, Logan, and claim her as your wife.”
“Oh, I couldn't...” Logan's cheeks were as red as mine.
“Go ahead!” Barnaby and Pan chimed it. “You've been riding and working hard for days. You deserve a bit of honey, eh, Logan?”
“Not in front of all these people!”
Now Jeremy was joining in. “Give her a kiss, Logan!”
We looked helplessly at Kian, who sighed and added his voice to the throng. “Yes, go on, Breena!” It was his blessing, I knew – we couldn't get out of it now – but I heard the bitterness in his voice. He looked away as Logan, shooting me an apologetic look, pressed his lips to mine.
The same sensation – the same warm smell of musk. The same shudder within my chest. It was so familiar, this taste, this smell – such familiar pleasure. I could feel his arms tighten around me; I could lean my head against the broad, taut muscles of his chest. I wanted to close my eyes, to lose myself in the sensation.
“Don't stop now!” The boys were laughing. “Keep kissing the bride!”
I felt a stirring within me, hating myself for it. My magic was sparking within me – responding to the call of my desire. No, I told myself – no, I loved Kian! I had to resist this!
I pulled away sharply, unable to meet anyone's eyes. “That's enough!” I cried.
“She's embarrassed!” Cary laughed.
Kian looked up at me, trying to put on a brave smile. “Let's be gentlemanly, fellows?” He assumed a light, ironic tone. “Let's not embarrass the lady too much.”
“Thank you,” I whispered into Kian's ear, and he furtively squeezed my hand as he rose. Yet I knew the sight had pained him; I could feel it. He feared what I feared – that the fire between me and Logan, so rapidly put out, could be rekindled at any moment. No, I told myself – Kian could trust me. Logan could trust me. I was too old, too wise, too responsible to let this cloud of emotions control me any longer. I had chosen Kian, and I had to stay strong and firm in that decision.
“Now that we're done with the tavern-calling,” Kian said. “I promise that we swear a sacred oath, and consecrate our partnership. The fellowship of the Midnight Knight – those of valor and strength, the returners of the ways of the old magic – unity among all magical creatures, peace, triumph over the Dark Hordes. I demand your loyalty – and your oath of fealty!”
He rose, his Knight's sword glinting in the moonlight.
“Are you all ready to swear such an oath, my men? And woman?”
“We're ready!” We all responded.
“Then I, the Midnight Knight, whose name is known to no man but whose sword is recognized and feared by all, shall pronounce you all my knights – the followers of the Orders of that which is neither sun nor moon, neither winter nor summer, neither snowflake nor flame, bu
t both combined. And so I invite you all to swear yourselves members of the League of Frostfire.”
I rose first, beaming with pride. As Kian raised his sword above me, as I knelt before him.
“Don't get used to it,” I whispered to Kian. “Technically, I outrank you.” After all, I was a Queen, and as long as his mother was living he was but a Prince.
“Don't I know it?” He smiled back at me.
“The Queen Breena, Queen of Summer, Empress of Autumn, Protector of the Summer Court, do you swear your loyalty to the League of Frostfire.”
I hesitated only for a moment. What would this mean for Summer – for my role as Queen – if I gave my loyalty to an organization that claimed neither summer nor winter for its source? Was I betraying my country? But I remembered Tamara's speech to me – her talk of my destiny. I wasn't chosen simply to rule Summer, but to do what I could to bring the two kingdoms together, to enact unity. Better a mere knight of Frostfire – believing in true peace and unity – than a Queen of Summer alone.
“Do you swear your loyalty to the cause of peace? To the mission of Frostfire? And to the Midnight Knight?”
“I swear my loyalty to the cause of peace,” I said. “And to the mission of Frostfire.”
But I could not swear my loyalty to the Midnight Knight. Although Kian had my heart, and all my fealty, I could not go further – my duties as Summer Queen would always come first.
Kian looked confused, but said nothing.
“And Logan, the Wolf Prince...”
One by one, they all swore an oath of loyalty; one by one, Kian touched their shoulders, dubbing them Knights of Frostfire. Barnaby, Jeremy, Logan, Cary, Pan – all of them received their new titles gladly. But I could see Kian looking at me with confusion, wondering why I – I alone – did not swear fealty specifically to the Midnight Knight. The others had not noticed, but I could see the pain in his eyes.
When the others had drifted off to sleep, Kian found me wandering in the back garden, looking out at the moon.
“It's been a while since we've been alone together,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I've missed you.”
I turned my face upwards, letting him kiss me. “I missed you too.”
He sat next to me, his eyes gleaming. “This may be our last chance to be alone together for some time. We should make the most of it.”
In an instant my worries were forgotten. We were kissing, rolling around on the soft grass, my fingers fumbling with his pieces of armor.
“So many pieces of the Midnight Knight to take off,” I said. “In order to see Kian again!”
His armor was finally off, and I caressed his chest with my fingertips, my lips tracing the path to the scar that still sliced across his chest – the reminder of the Minotaur's horns that had killed him. “You have a scar here,” I whispered, as he caressed my hair.
“It'll heal,” he murmured sleepily.
“Funny!” I looked closer. “It looks like a star.” I traced its outlines. “No, not a star...something else. A snowflake. A snowflake surrounded by fire.”
He sat up straight. “A what?”
“A snowflake with fire.” I laughed. “It really does – I thought it was just my eyes at first, but I can see it now. It's almost as if you've been branded – no natural scar is that symmetrical.”
He was silent.
“What is it? Does that mean something?”
He did not reply, but only gathered me in his arms, kissing me harder than ever. The kiss was long and slow – the release of so many days' tension, days when we could see each other, but could never touch, never kiss...
“I want you to be my Queen, Breena,” he said.
“I want to be your Queen.” But I saw that his eyes were dark. Something was wrong.
“I need you by my side. With me, always – if you'll have me.”
“Of course I'll have you!” He'd never spoken like that before. “What do you mean?”
“You didn't swear,” he said. “You swore fealty to peace, to our mission – but not to me.”
“Not to the Midnight Knight, you mean,” I said. “That's not you – you said so yourself. It's just...part of the plan.”
“There's a legend about the Midnight Knight,” said Kian. “That on the eve of a great battle, he appeared on his steed, Steel, bearing a banner. The banner of his symbol. A snowflake, flanked by flames. The Frostfire symbol.”
I looked up in surprise. “And your scar...”
“Bears no small resemblance to that symbol. At first I thought, as you did – that it was but a necessary story to tell, a lie. I thought Arielle had seen the Knight in me because she wished to, not because of who I was. Now I'm not so sure...”
My heart swelled with pride. Could it be – that Kian really was the Midnight Knight we'd been waiting for? I'd always sensed it – that he was more than a mere Prince, more than just another fairy. There was a strength in him, a power, a courage that floored me. Whenever I looked into his eyes, I found myself overwhelmed by the magic within. And now the whole world – all of Feyland – would see that too.
“I understand why you didn't swear,” said Kian. “Right now, it would be impossible for you to give up your loyalty to Summer. You have sworn an oath to them. But one day...”
“I promise!” I said. “Believe me – I am waiting for the day. The day that I can swear fully – because there will be no Summer. No Winter. Just the Frostfire League – just a united Feyland. As it was in the old days. And on that day I will swear the fullest and deepest loyalty, call upon the most ancient magic. Binding myself to you as a knight as well as a Queen. And as your wife.”
Kian beamed with happiness, pulling me closer into a kiss. His mouth met mine, and my heart leaped with joy at the sensation. It felt so good to be with him again, after so long – it had been such agony watching him as he rode upon his new steed Steel, as he pushed his long black hair from his eyes, as he bathed in the sparkling rivers, his muscles rippling in the sun. Now I wanted nothing more than to tear off his armor, to give myself to him fully, to feel our embrace connect us even more closely than the deepest magic ever could.
“It won't be for a while,” he sighed. “And besides – you're already engaged.” He tried to make it into a joke, but I could see the pain behind his smile.
“It isn't real.”
“It is real,” he said. “For now – it is. And who knows – it may become necessary...if we want to keep the wolves involved.”
“But it would only be political – no matter what! You know that, Kian!” I stroked his hair, trying to forget the feeling of Logan's lips on mine. “I promise. And we'd be able to see each other...”
“Stolen moments,” Kian murmured into my shoulder. “Forbidden passion. Snatches of time where I can hold you, touch you, kiss you. How can I bear it? How can I bear to see you slip away? It feels that the closer we come to love, the more obstacles come in our way.”
“It's just an alliance,” I said.
“But is that all it is?” His enormous blue eyes searched my own, his gaze so intense that I shivered beneath it. “Do you really feel nothing else for him?”
“He's my friend,” I said. “I care for him.”
“Would you have died for him, too?” Kian closed his eyes, unwilling to let me see the pain I knew was unmistakably in his gaze. “If he had died – would you have given up your immortality for him?”
I couldn't lie to Kian. I loved him too much for that. “Yes,” I said quietly. “I would. He's one of my oldest friends. My deepest friends. I love him – as a friend.”
“And...as a lover?”
“I chose you, Kian,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“I can't get those images out of my head,” Kian said. “Seeing you with him. Your kiss – when you were engaged for real. Every night it appears in my nightmares – the two-headed beast. You and he, intertwined. Your mouth upon his lips. His hand twined in yours. You...together in that way. The two of you loo
ked so happy...”
“It was a spell!” I insisted. But I knew that I was deluding myself. I too dreamed of those same nights, too, but my dreams were not nightmares.
“I never want you to doubt, Breena. I never want you to doubt that your decision is right. I don't want to hold you back – and yet of course I want to hold you back! I war with my own feelings, my own thoughts – my anger and jealousy alongside my chivalry. I know what the honorable thing is to do, Breena. I have declared my love for you, and my knightly oath to you is an oath that will never die.”
He knelt at my feet. “It is my turn to swear fealty,” he said, kissing my hand. “I swear that I will wait for you as long as it takes, Breena. That I will love you forever, that there will be no other true love in my life but you. I swear fealty to you, Breena Malloy, the girl who is the strongest Queen of Feyland that I have known. I am, simply, yours.”
I felt my eyes fill with tears.
“I know what you feel for Logan,” he said. “I know things are still...complicated. The aftermath of a spell is not always easy. But if you decide – if you find that he is the one you love, I will do the honorable thing. I will step aside.”
“Kian, I never....”
“You don't have to say anything now, Breena. I only want you to know it. I want you to know that my loyalty to you, that my commitment to Frostfire and to peace – that nothing you do could ever change that.”
“But...the engagement....” I felt my lips trembling. How could I bear to live this lie – Kian in private, Logan in public? Letting my own feelings fly back and forth like a tennis ball – each kiss plunging me into deeper and deeper confusion.
“For now – from now – you are to be Logan's wife. You must...do what you wish. Whatever makes you happy.”
He turned away from me so that I could not see his face.
I put a hand on his shoulder.
“But we have tonight,” I said. “Maybe we only have tonight. So let's make it count, okay?”
He turned back to me, unable to resist a smile. I closed my eyes as I touched my lips to him – light, feather-soft. I slipped my tunic from my shoulders, shivering only a little in the Spring chill.