by Mariano, Sam
His grip on my arm tightens and he pulls me harder against him. “Then I’ll take more, whether you want to give it to me or not.”
Since I only have so many tools at my disposal, and my version of playing dirty is much more limited than his, I lean in and whisper in his ear, “Promise?”
“You’re making it difficult not to fuck you right here, right now.”
Biting back a little smile, I point out, “Even you can’t get away with that.”
Lust burns in his dark eyes when I pull back and meet his gaze. I can feel how much he wants me, and as menacing as he is, as angry as I’ve been at him, being wanted by him this much sends a spike of excitement straight through me. My breasts feel heavy and restrained inside my top. I want to rip it off and let him feast on them. I want him to turn me around, push me up against that wall he’s leaning on, and fucking devour me.
I want him, period.
I need to get away from him before I do something incredibly stupid. Before I toss my principles out the window and agree to be with him again, just so he’ll stop playing these senseless games and fuck me already.
I take a step back, since distance is the only thing that can help me now.
Carter sees me trying to retreat, but he doesn’t stop me. “Tomorrow,” he says, simply. Pushing off the wall, he touches my face one more time before walking away.
Chapter 47
Given the peace accord I felt like we struck this morning, I did not expect any additional Carter drama for the rest of my Friday. I figured I would go to Grace’s house after work, “help her find” Scout, and then go home. Nice and simple, no more surprises.
Then Kasey texts me a picture from the hallway, freaking out about something going on with Erika Martin. I couldn’t give less fucks about Erika Martin, but curiosity gets the best of me and I check the picture Kasey sent. It was a sneaky photo taken while she walked past, so it’s not a great picture, but it shows Erika standing at her locker in her cheer uniform, the principal and guidance counselor both standing beside her at her open locker.
“What is that?” I text back, unsure why she’s sending me this picture.
“Shit is going DOWN,” she tells me. “Idk, I’ve gotta get details.”
Feeling unsettled, I put my phone back on my desk before the teacher sees me messing with it and turn my mind off Erika for the rest of class.
My next class is history. My. Hassenfeld doesn’t suffer fools and he’s already given me my free pass for the year, so I don’t worry about Erika’s ordeal while he’s teaching. When history lets out, I check my texts, but Kasey still hasn’t sent anything back. I hate even thinking about Erika Martin at this point, since thinking of her just brings back mental flashes of her in bed with Carter. By the time I get to history, I’m thinking less of ripping Carter’s clothes off and more of burning them.
Perhaps because I didn’t cast him any longing or lustful looks, Carter catches up to me in the hall after class.
“You look grumpy. Sexually frustrated?”
I slide him an unamused look. “Just the ‘frustrated’ part. Do you know anything about what’s goin’ on with Erika today?”
“I no longer associate with Erika,” he informs me.
“Uh huh.”
“I don’t.” He draws an ex over the left side of his chest. “Cross my heart.”
“She’s a cheerleader. You’re the quarterback. You can’t be strangers, even if you tried.”
Carter shrugs, but strangely offers no further argument. “You should come to lunch today. You can sit with us.”
“I don’t want to sit with your friends. Besides, your table is all guys. Segregated lunch seems to be your thing.”
“Usually, but exceptions can be made. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch. Cafeteria lunch is admittedly not as appealing as outside lunch, but I work with what I’m given.”
“No.”
Sighing, he says, “All right, how about this? Out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll offer your buddy Luke a killer discount on new tires if he buys them at my dad’s dealership.”
“I’m listening.”
“That’s it, that’s the whole offer. You sit with me at lunch today, I’ll make sure Luke gets new tires. It’s not a big ask, so the reward can’t be too extravagant.”
I mull it over for a few seconds, adding in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich with borderline-stale chips waiting for me in my locker, then nod my head. “All right, I’ll make that deal.”
“Now, if you wanna sit in my lap, we can talk about those windows.”
I crack a smile. “The lunch lady would never allow that.” Looking over at him, I cock an eyebrow. “And I never told you his windows were busted out. Way to incriminate yourself.”
“I heard it through the grapevine, otherwise I would have no idea,” he assures me.
“Mm hmm.” I know he’s not even trying to convince me, but I shoot him a look anyway.
Deflecting my look entirely, he wraps an arm around my waist and draws me close. “Let’s go put those books away and get you some food.”
Since I don’t usually go to lunch, I don’t keep track of what they’re having which day, but I’m pleasantly surprised to find that today is Mexican burrito bar day. Carter buys us both chicken fajitas and a cup of diced peaches for dessert.
“I don’t know if I should let you spend this kind of money on me,” I tease as we move forward in line.
“I know, I might have certain expectations about what you owe me after a feast like this one,” he replies.
“I mean, a plastic cup of diced peaches for dessert? What am I, the queen?”
“What can I say? I like to spoil my woman.”
I bite back a grin, attempting to cast him a severe look over my shoulder. “I am not your woman, Mahoney.”
Ignoring my rebuff, he says, “This reminds me, when we go to New York in a couple months, there’s a Mexican place I’m gonna take you to not far from the apartment. Great enchiladas. When we’re tired after a long day of classes next fall, I can see us getting dinner there and bitching about the professors we don’t like.”
I nod my head. “Yep, that’s definitely going to happen. I always go on trips to New York with all of my ex-boyfriends. I definitely drive six hours after my classes so I can eat dinner with them in another state, too.”
“You won’t have to drive, you’re going to live there with me,” he informs me.
“Oh, am I?”
Carter nods confidently, giving me a nudge to let me know I need to move forward in line. “Yep. I know you’re not completely sold on me right now, but wait until you see the apartment. You’ll be sold on the apartment.”
“I don’t doubt that. It’s more the skipping college to live with my ex-boyfriend part I’m not so sure about. I don’t think I can live with you in New York and commute to my school six hours away, either. All of this seems pretty unlikely.”
Carter hands over his card to the cashier. “Hers, too.”
The cashier nods and adds up the total for both of our lunches, then swipes his card and hands it back. Once he has paid for our food, we each grab our trays and Carter leads the way to the jock table. Naturally, my gaze drifts to the table I would sit at if I played the role of Carter’s girlfriend the way he would probably want me to. Cheerleaders and girls’ volleyball players mostly fill the table, but I notice Erika isn’t there yet.
I can’t believe I’m going to sit at Carter’s table with Erika this close. She’s going to shoot me snide looks, and while normally her opinion of my decisions wouldn’t matter, since I agree with her on this one, I’m going to feel like an idiot.
The more time I spend with Carter like this, the more damned I am. When I start missing him and wanting him back in weak moments, if I’m around him all the time, I’m much more likely to fall back in. Since I am determined not to, I need to make sure when I’m having those moments, I am safely away from Carter and unable to act on them.
I
take a seat right next to him as I have that thought. Clearly, I am failing all over the place today, but I have high hopes for myself once all my debts have been settled.
“Look who’s back,” Cartwright says, offering a nod of acknowledgement. “‘Sup, Ellis?”
“I’m pretty excited to eat this chicken fajita, Cartwright. What’s up with you?”
“Hell yeah, burrito bar day is my shit,” he agrees, grabbing his own fajita and taking a bite. “You like this, you should go to this place we went to in Dallas. I don’t remember what it’s called,” he says, glancing to Carter for help. “You know the place with that massive burrito that was just fuckin’ smothered in queso? Dear lord. The waitress was hot as hell, too.”
“Oh, well, I wasn’t entirely sold on the food, but if the waitress is hot,” I murmur, opening my drink.
Cartwright grins and nods. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about. See, Ellis is cool. She knows.”
I crack a smile and shake my head. I can’t decide from one moment to the next whether or not I actually like Cartwright, but his ability to go with the flow and jump tracks so comfortably amuses me. I think for today at least, I will like him.
“I’m all about the babes,” I comment inanely, picking up my fajita so I can start eating. Before I do, I lean in to Carter, “Hey, you didn’t actually take that puppy back to your house, did you?”
“No way. Chloe would demand a puppy when we had to return it. Brianna has him. She’s a dog person.”
I nod my head, then turn my attention back to the burrito. “Then I’m going to tell Grace, that way she knows Scout is safe and she won’t be upset.”
“You can’t tell her,” he says, frowning at me.
“I won’t get any of you deviants in trouble, don’t worry. I’ve already thought it through, I just had to find out where the dog was. Now that I know he’s at Brianna’s, we can just pretend Scout did somehow get out of the yard and Brianna happened to find him. While I was over here having lunch with you, I mentioned that Grace’s puppy was missing. Brianna overheard and asked what the dog looked like. I showed her on my phone, and what do you know? Same puppy Brianna happened to find running around last night. Obviously she took the puppy home so it wouldn’t get hit by a car, but now he can be safely returned to his owner. Boom, your ass is covered but Grace still knows she’s going to get her well-loved puppy back as soon as school is over. It even saves me the step of having to go through the motions of searching for the puppy and getting very lucky finding him. Just had to make sure it wasn’t at your house, as you obviously do not live in the same part of the neighborhood, and that story wouldn’t have made any sense.”
Cartwright is staring at me across the table, his fajita dripping toppings onto his plate. “Damn, will you come up with all my alibis, too? That’s fuckin’ thorough.”
I point at him with the corner of my fajita and lift a severe eyebrow. “You’ll say nothing.”
“I always say nothing,” he assures me, before taking a bite. “I can see why Carter likes you so much now, though. You got a brain in that pretty little head too, don’t ya?”
“The Zoey Ellis package is a pretty good one, I won’t lie,” I tell him, flashing him a playfully boastful smirk.
“Sure is,” Carter says, wrapping an arm around me, not appearing to like Cartwright’s praise. “And all mine.”
“Nope. Not yours,” I remind him, but don’t bother shrugging off his arm. I like it where it is.
“It’s all mine,” he assures the guys, who nod like they understand, and my word means nothing.
I roll my eyes, but I’m too worried about getting this fajita in my belly to argue.
A short time later, a decidedly less enjoyable event occurs. Erika comes walking over to the table she has sat at since the first day of freshman year. The table where the cheerleaders and select volleyball girls are gathered, the table where I would sit, as Carter’s girlfriend, if I so chose. I can’t help noticing she changed out of her cheer uniform, which is odd. It’s a game day, and the cheerleaders often wear their uniforms to school on game day. She was wearing it earlier in the picture Kasey sent me.
When she stops at the head of the table, I notice no one moves down to make room for her.
“What are you doing? Move down, you’re in my seat,” she tells Brianna.
Grimacing, Brianna darts a look directly at Carter, then quickly looks away when she sees I caught her. “Um, there’s no room,” Brianna says, a bit awkwardly.
A startled laugh slips out of Erika. “What? Of course there’s room. Move your fat ass and there will be plenty of room.”
One of the other cheerleaders speaks up. “Come on, Erika, don’t make this weird. Just go sit somewhere else.”
Erika’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. “No, I’m not going to sit somewhere else. Move.”
“You can’t sit with us,” Brianna snaps, then shakes her head in frustration. “I can’t believe you actually just made me say that.”
Her blue eyes alight with fury, Erika demands, “You’re seriously not going to let me sit at my own table? This is my table. I established it. I’m a fucking—”
“You’re not on the squad anymore,” Brianna states. “You don’t hang out with us anymore, so why would you sit with us? Just find another damn table, Erika. Go away.”
Erika clutches the ends of her tray, holding onto it the way she’s trying to hold onto her status. “This is all a mistake. I’m goin’ for a damn drug test after school to prove it. I’ll be back on the squad tomorrow, and if you seriously try to squeeze me out of my own seat at lunch, boy, are you gonna regret it tomorrow, bitch.”
Finally, Carter intervenes. “Erika. Go sit somewhere else.”
Her gaze snaps to him now, her eyes cold little chips of blue ice. Walking over here to redirect her anger, she says, “This is some way to treat a person you’ve fucked, Carter. You put that shit in my locker, didn’t you?” Not even waiting for him to answer, she shakes her head. “I know you did. Well, you probably had one of your grunts do the dirty work. I damn sure never touched those drugs myself.”
Drugs?
Erika’s gaze whips to me next and she must see the look of confusion plastered all over my face. “Don’t play innocent. This is all your fault, you little whore. I hope all y’all are payin’ close attention, too, ‘cause this is how Carter treats a person he no longer has any use for. Y’all think this can’t happen to you?” She gives a short, bitter little laugh. “Not hardly. You’re all as disposable to him as I am.”
There’s steel in Carter’s voice as he cuts her off. “That’s enough, Erika. Do you think you can afford to piss me off more than you already have?” he asks. “Because let me assure you, I haven’t done my worst yet. Keep fucking pushing and you’ll see what I can do.”
Brianna speaks up. “Erika, please just… stop fighting and go.”
Turning to Carter, my brow furrowed in confusion, I ask quietly, “What is she talking about?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says to me, but he’s still looking at her. “Last fucking warning, Erika. Walk away while you still can.”
“Don’t threaten me, Carter.”
“Don’t mistake that warning for a threat,” he says simply.
“You can’t take things farther than this,” she says, shaking her head.
“Wanna bet?” he asks, the menace in his voice plain for all to hear.
Whether she does or not, I don’t. On instinct, I place a calming hand on Carter’s thigh, trying to rein him in without words. Just hearing the edge in his voice, imagining the same dark horrors that flitted across my mind in that classroom the first time he got me alone, I’m shaken. Erika isn’t taking him seriously enough, and she probably should be. I don’t know what she’s talking about, I don’t know what happened today, and I don’t know if Carter had anything to do with it, but I do know that provoking Carter is a bad idea for both of them.
I don’t know how to halt her, tho
ugh. Carter I might be able to manage to a certain degree because he cares for me, but Erika… she hates me.
An idea pops into my head, perhaps a way to hit both birds with the same stone. In an attempt to calm Carter and piss Erika off enough that she does herself a favor and goes away, I grab Carter’s face, pull him close, and kiss the hell out of him. I can feel him jerk in surprise, but he’s not about to turn down a kiss in the current climate of our relationship. Being pissed off doesn’t make him want to kiss me less, it just makes him rougher. His arm curls around my waist and he yanks me against him. His other hand moves and he pushes his fingers through my hair, cradling my head while he kisses me.
I didn’t mean anything by the kiss, I certainly didn’t mean to fall into it myself, but when he cradles my head this way, rough in a sense, but at the same time like he’s holding something precious… well, I just melt. None of the reasons around us matter anymore, the only thing I can focus on is one single truth: I miss him. I miss his kisses, his touches. I miss being his.
Cards on the table, I wish I could put aside my fears and my pride, I wish I could stop resisting and just go back to him. I really don’t think he would mess up like that inside a relationship with me, but I’m too afraid I’m wrong. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. It’s not uncommon for people to disdain something in someone else that they recognize in themselves, so maybe his disdain for his father isn’t the good sign I took it as, but a bad sign. A bright red flag, waving in the wind. Maybe…
Carter breaks the kiss, and I realize I let it go on too long. I was supposed to be the one to pull back, but I got pulled in instead.
Swallowing and avoiding his gaze, I turn back to my food and glance up to see if Erika is gone. She is. If I were her I wouldn’t have stood there and watched that either, which was my original thought. Now my mind is too fuzzy for thoughts, too entranced by Carter and his magical mouth.
Get it together, mind.
Carter’s arm curls around my waist, casually possessive. With his other hand, he lifts his own fajita. “Good thinking, babe,” he remarks.